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Thread: Gay, Straight or Bi?

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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Can you clarify this for me. All of these girls have been with a guy but none have been with a girl. How do you tell which one is straight, gay or bi? Are they all bi?

    Girl 1: Loooves guys. Loves intimacy and relationships with him, Loves being with a man in the bedroom. Checks out women occasionally and appreciates when they look hot and occasionally thinks of ‘tapping that.

    Girl 2: Likes relationships with guy but loathes when it gets to being intimate and can’t wait until it’s over. Checks out girls all the time and wants intimacy with them as much as she wants sex from a guy.

    Girl 3: Girl is intimate with guy and can’t wait until it’s over. Checks out girls all the time. Wants intimacy AND/a meaningful relationships with them but is open to a guy as a second choice.

    Do these girls have to have actually been intimate with another girl to know she's bi/gay or does just thinking it mean you are?

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I don't think there's really a solid answer, but I can definitely tell you that I knew I was bi before I was physically with a woman. I mean, I had to be attracted to them before I could be with them, right?

    Just thinking it doesn't mean you are. Fuck, if that's the case then I need the death penalty because I think of some really weird shit!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    So thinking it and wanting it are different. This means girl 2 and 3 are bisexual right and 3 isn't gay at all?
    I THINK - THEREFORE I AM

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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    They are all bi-curious and some might be only bi till they try then realise they are str8 or gay or bi, but till they act on it who knows what their desires are with women if they are not sure and only actaully choice to be with guys which is why I sum it up as bicurious becuz that is certin becuz they obviously have relationships with guys and curiousity about women.
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I view the term bisexual as a general term that could cover all of those examples, although I would dub #1 as merely bicurious. I tend to think of sexual orientation as a scale that has more points on it between straight and gay, between fantasizing and participating, between curiousity and yearning, than we can describe with a few broad categories. I think where you fall on the scale is a result of how your body's internal chemicals are blended.

    What brought this up? Who's trying to figure out how gay they are?

    -Ev

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I'm with UV69, they all sound bi-curious to different degrees. My personal feelings towards sex and relationships is a combo of 1 and 3 (love guys, like girls, would like a meaningful relationship, sex included, with either, haven't acted on the girl thing yet buz when I found the right girl, I was still with a guy). I consider myself to be bi-curious to bi-sexual.

    Nothing's black or white, it's about personal feeelings.

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    i mean this is the nicest way possible (really):

    who cares?


    i've said it before and i'll say it again, people spend way too much time trying to classify others and/or trying to see if someone fits or stands up to their classification. people have sex. people enter into loving relationships. sometimes those things happen with people of the same sex and sometimes the opposite. unless they are having sex with -you- or are in a relationship with -you- it shouldn't be any of your concern.

    i don't mean that to sound nasty or anything, i just think this sort of analyzing leads to the type of thinking that causes judgment. once you begin deciding that there's a "rule" or a "standard" for someone to be labeled a certain way, then you start judging who does and who doesn't fit that label.

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    ^^ I completely agree. But then again, I believe everybody is secretly bisexual.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Maybe you should just try going down on them all and find out for youself. xoxo It's more fun than guessing if you really want to know ya know.
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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence View Post
    What brought this up? Who's trying to figure out how gay they are?

    -Ev
    Me. I used to be girl 1 but now I'm girl 3 and I'm like WTF This CANNOT be happenng . Having a SERIOUS identity crisis right now. Like SERIOUS. Like what am I supposed to be doing now? Am I supposed to be going to gay bars and stuff to find out?
    Weird thing is the girls in my club do nothing for me, It's the average girl who isn't a dancer.
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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlygirl View Post
    Having a SERIOUS identity crisis right now. Like SERIOUS. Like what am I supposed to be doing now? Am I supposed to be going to gay bars and stuff to find out?
    Perhaps. If bars are your usual social scene, that's one avenue. However, it's not like lesbians and bisexuals are segregated to gay bars only. Mainly, I think you should relax and quit worrying about why you're attracted to women, or to what degree. Be true to yourself and do what feels right in your heart. Get out, socialize, have fun. Let situations develop and be open to them. I don't think it's productive to overthink it, or to launch a formal quest to find the Holy Grail of sexual orientation. Just enjoy connecting with people and opportunities will present themselves.

    Weird thing is the girls in my club do nothing for me, It's the average girl who isn't a dancer.
    I don't think that's weird. It's a workplace and they're your co-workers. Plus, there's not much mystery about them to spur your imagination and tingle your senses.

    Wish ya the best, hon.

    -Ev

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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence View Post
    Perhaps. If bars are your usual social scene, that's one avenue. However, it's not like lesbians and bisexuals are segregated to gay bars only. Mainly, I think you should relax and quit worrying about why you're attracted to women, or to what degree. Be true to yourself and do what feels right in your heart. Get out, socialize, have fun. Let situations develop and be open to them. I don't think it's productive to overthink it, or to launch a formal quest to find the Holy Grail of sexual orientation. Just enjoy connecting with people and opportunities will present themselves.

    I don't think that's weird. It's a workplace and they're your co-workers. Plus, there's not much mystery about them to spur your imagination and tingle your senses.

    Wish ya the best, hon.

    -Ev
    Oh wow. I thought I'd have to classify myself just in case a gay person asked. I heard some get offended when you call yourself one thing and really aren't. Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode I saw a while back.
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    ^^^ Some people get offended by just about anything. But yeah, I have, at one time or another, been peppered with the mantra that bisexuals aren't really bisexual, they're just straight people messing around, or bisexuals are lesbians trying to pass for straight whenever it's convenient, or if you're bisexual, you must be into threesomes, or you can't possibly be monogamous if you swing both ways, and worse.

    On the other hand, if you don't know yourself very well, it's understandable why others might not feel like becoming your beta tester. I had a serious relationship with a girl in college who, immediately prior to commencement and her family arriving to celebrate it, decided that she was straight. Suddenly I go from intimate to irrelevant. Please try not to put anyone in that position.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I would say bi curious, not gay. #1 is probably never likely to ever act on her thoughts unless someone she's attracted to brings up the idea to her and comes on to her strongly.

    the second two girls will probably do it one day, but #2 would probably have to be drunk to do it. You know, like an "instant lesbian", just add liquor...

    If your at #3 then I see intimacy with a girl in your future. Whether you really like being with a girl not, thats what you'll find out. Dont be so nervous over it thought. I think alot of woman may have felt this way at some point and if you really feel that strong about it, it wont hurt to delve deeper. Let me know how it goes!
    Last edited by Scorpia; 11-19-2008 at 08:24 AM.

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    1st straight but curious, maybe bi...but probably not.

    2nd straight but got some issues. providing intimacy doesn't refer to sex but more like kissing and cuddling or cutesy phone calls and the like, sounds like she just likes being really close to her female friends, or she's got issues about sex being dirty, a form of self abuse, etc. should probably get therapy. needs to grow up.

    3rd lesbian, but willing to be temporarily bi for a guy who is really great, if she ever even feels that way about one (yeah it happens). likely calls herself bi.

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I'm with Penny. It's a scale, few people fit perfectly into being straight, gay or bi. Like she said, who cares. You can pay attention and act on feelings without having to put them (and you) into a category.
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    1-Bi curious.
    2&3-Bi sexual.
    senario three could possibly become a lesbian one day..
    I feel like number three sometimes.
    Love is love,I don't think it should discriminate
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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    I am also with Penny, just because, yeah, who cares?

    I know you said this is you directly, but it's really not that big of a deal. Maybe the reason you're not attracted to the guy is some other reason, like the guy himself, and not women. Just a thought.

    Most girls are surprisingly amicable to being slipped the tongue by another girl. Next time you're out and about with some buddies, try to find a cute friend of a friend and tell her you're curious. Then take her to the bathroom and totally make out Maybe that will give you the input you need.

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    "Gay", "straight", and "bi" are all social constructions. They aren't scientific, unchangeable classifications. And sexuality is fluid and can change over a lifetime.

    Do straight men know they are straight before they lose their virginity to a woman? I'ma bet the answer is almost 100$ "yes". Sexual desire and sexual practice are two different things. How many times have you heard of women finding out their husbands are gay? Are those men bi just because they're sleeping with their wives? Not necessarily. Some are actually gay and for social reasons have chosen to adopt a hetero lifestyle.

    It's all very complicated and the important thing to remember is that it's all good, all ok.

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    To be honest, I just class myself as 'sexual' cos I think sexuality is such a fluid thing. Some days I am really checking out guys, the next day girls, some days neither, some days both. And since I have a boyfriend, I dont care what I am, as long as Im happy.

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

    Most likely all of them:

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

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    Default Re: Gay, Straight or Bi?

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