Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 46

Thread: Tipping for Conversation

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Tipping for Conversation

    Even after a couple of years now of being a strip club regular, this is still a subject I find hard to figure out on a case by case basis. I think some general rules are easy.

    1. If a girl comes up to you as a first-timer (whether it's your first time in the club, or just your first time to talk to her), if she is the initiator, there is no "tipping for conversation" (TFC) obligation. She is trying to sell you a dance, or a VIP, and you either buy or you don't. She can stay as short or as long as she wants, it's up to her, but the sale is the tip here.

    2. If you are someone's regular, you pretty much have already worked out what kind of $$ you will be giving for her time and/or dances. So my confusion doesn't really aply here.

    3. If you are Mr. Moneybags, you just let the money flow when you're in the club and there are no worries if you're doing the right thing. Money is always a Right Thing.

    So. If it's not a first-time conversation, you're not a girl's regular, and you're not Mr. Moneybags, is there a TFC obligation? How do you know when it has started? How do you know how much? Does it ever get explicit (it hasn't with me -- and I'm not talking about sexually explicit). How does the girl initiating the conversation, not you, change the TFC obligation? If you get dances, can that cover a TFC obligation?

    It's still all complicated and confusing.
    Last edited by Everyman; 11-15-2008 at 06:42 AM. Reason: Insert a "no"

  2. #2
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    LAS
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked 259 Times in 98 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    It depends. If you're the kind of guy that goes to a bar and talks to the bartender all night, and only tips the 75 cents left from a 4.25 drink then I wouldn't be surprised if you wasted 30 minutes of someone's time and didn't buy a couple dances from them. That would be the proper situation to tip. You don't have to pay vip prices, but I hate guys that try to come in and talk to you as long as possible because you're out of their league and standing there in your underwear. Its like, they're trying to get as much as they can for free. It's like dude... I have bills! I'm not working at a strip club for charity!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to LuckyOne For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member grindonme's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    326
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I've been meaning to make a topic asking how this works because before joining this board i'd never heard of such a thing

  5. #4
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I never had either until a couple of years ago. Not from this board, but from becoming a day regular. Before that, my once-a-year visit to a club would never involve paying for conversation, that would seem crazy to me. I figured any conversation would be to try to make a sale at the end -- but paying for the pitch itself, I would have found about as plausible as paying to sit through a time-share presentation.

  6. #5
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    598
    Thanks
    409
    Thanked 259 Times in 136 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    No body expects you to pay for "Hi, how are you, are you enjoying your evening?" but anything that lasts longer than 3 minutes - i.e. if you take up the length of one dance, should probably involve a tip if you aren't going to buy a dance because that is time she could have been doing a dance.

    Unfortunately, in England we don't have a tipping culture and even though clubs do try to sell 'tipping tokens/ dollars' it really isn't customary here. (we no longer have one pound notes which means that you would have to tip 5 minimum if using cash) Although it is very welcome. But that means dancers in the UK have to regulate themselves better - however, there are lots who just don't get it and spend hours talking to customers who are never going to buy a dance because they are getting her time for free. I used to use the one song rule to see if they were interested, if they were they generally had another song before it was ''time for me to earn some money'' - either by their paying me, coming for a dance or me moving on.

  7. #6
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by spartaca View Post
    No body expects you to pay for "Hi, how are you, are you enjoying your evening?" but anything that lasts longer than 3 minutes - i.e. if you take up the length of one dance, should probably involve a tip if you aren't going to buy a dance because that is time she could have been doing a dance.
    Yeah, this is part of what really confuses me. If I wanted to give you money, I would just buy a dance (then I would get something for my money). If I don't want to get a dance from you, it also means I don't want to give you money.

    Why should I give a dancer money for giving me a sales pitch, when I don't want to buy? It was her decision to spend the time giving me the sales pitch, not mine. It seems like part of the job.

    Now, if it's me going up to her and then not buying a dance, I could see your point. But with me at least, that has never happened. I would never ever ever ever ever go up to a random dancer and start talking, who I did not already have an intention of buying a dance from.

  8. #7
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    598
    Thanks
    409
    Thanked 259 Times in 136 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I think that if YOU keep HER talking then that is time for a tip. A pitch shouldn't really take much longer than 30 - 60 seconds, after which you should make it lear whether or not you want a dance - so that should take no longer than about 3 mins in all. At the end of which you should make it clear that you do/ don't/ maybe later want a dance. If you genuinely want a dance later then you tip her so that she will come back, if you don't then you've spent no longer than 3 mins so you don't need to tip her. If you keep her talking, by engaging her in a conversation when you do not want a dance from her then you need to tip... Hmmm, maybe this needs a flowchart!

  9. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by spartaca View Post
    Hmmm, maybe this needs a flowchart!
    Yes, exactly my point in starting this thread.

    "Always give us money" is very simple.

    Figuring out when there is an actual obligation to do that, is very complicated.

  10. #9
    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,969
    Thanks
    1,811
    Thanked 597 Times in 382 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I'm a well known regular at my club, and usually I do the approaching. If a girl approaches me, I'll let her know within 30 seconds whether I want a dance or not. I don't play games, and I'm careful not to waste anyone's time.

  11. #10
    Veteran Member grindonme's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    326
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    Yeah, this is part of what really confuses me. If I wanted to give you money, I would just buy a dance (then I would get something for my money). If I don't want to get a dance from you, it also means I don't want to give you money.

    Why should I give a dancer money for giving me a sales pitch, when I don't want to buy? It was her decision to spend the time giving me the sales pitch, not mine. It seems like part of the job.

    Now, if it's me going up to her and then not buying a dance, I could see your point. But with me at least, that has never happened. I would never ever ever ever ever go up to a random dancer and start talking, who I did not already have an intention of buying a dance from.
    From what i've been reading on here the guys aren't paying for the sales pitch they are seeking out and paying the dancer for a conversation. I've seen a few posts were the dancer has said the guy said he would rather just talk to her than get a dance and would pay her for that time spent talking.
    Last edited by grindonme; 11-15-2008 at 03:30 PM.

  12. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by grindonme View Post
    From what i've been reading on the guys aren't paying for the sales pitch they are seeking out and paying the dancer for a conversation. I've seen a few posts were the dancer has said the guy said he would rather just talk than to her than get a dance and would pay her for that time spent talking.
    Well yeah, but to me that would fall under my rule # 2. At least it does for me. I would never want to go into strip clubs and just have random conversations for money. Only if I liked someone enough to be their regular.

    Random hot nudity for money, of course I'll pay. I can't get that in my daily life. Random conversations, I can get any time I want. Why would I pay for that?

    Maybe my question is narrower then. Maybe I mean, why should I ever pay anything, if the dancer is the one who approaches me, and I end up not wanting a dance? I'm very surprised only 1 dancer has answered. Maybe some will answer the narrower question.

  13. #12
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,202
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I answered and then deleted my reply because I wanted to hear what others did in this instance. This is really confusing for the dancer too ! The reason it's so confusing is that guys usually buy dances which are easier and more clear to sell. There is a vip option in many clubs ( that's where you go if you want to converse for an hour).

    I have brought tipping for conversation up myself when I've worked in the "dive" place of the two clubs I've tried. I bring it up, but it takes a certain situation for me to do so. Basically the guy has to be really enjoying the conversation and nearly asking me not to leave ( but also not buying dances). A few weeks ago , I had a customer who was starting in on the " I think you are seriously the nicest girl I've ever met .... stay here with me...... I want to talk to you.... " stuff and I just said " I'm having fun right here too! I don't want to go wander around and ask to do dances , would you be open to tipping me for my time and then we can just relax and hang out?". The guy was older and he tipped around $20 every 2-3 songs to visit and try to grab my legs / hold my hand ect. He would put the $20 in my thong side and I would leave them there for a min. or two and then put each $20 in my purse. We didn't negotiate exact amounts. We did a couple dances after an hour or so and then he dashed from the club ( you could tell he had plenty to drink and was just a couple steps from puking ). I lost him when I went to pee.

    So ...... that's why it's tricky ! Usually customers buy dances ( if they buy a couple, I'm happy to sit and visit for a song or two without being tipped when it's not busy .... if it's busy..... you are just really focused on selling constantly ). If a guy was to bring it up ( for example, maybe they bought 2-3 dances and then wanted to visit with me ) by saying " Do you want to take a break ? I'll tip you a bit for your time just to visit . I know buying drinks in this place is silly because the money goes straight to the bar ", I'd be happy to sit and visit especially if the club isn't super busy. Everything really depends on the place ! Some places have things set up where girls authmatically get tipped for their time via drink sales ( sales are split between the club and the girl ) .

    If you have an interest in visiting with a particular girl instead of doing dances, try the line above ^ if the set up at her club is the same as mine ( no organized drink hustle providing by the club ) . Just understand that if it's busy and she could be selling continuous dances, the conversation tips will need to be equal to what she could get for doing those near continual dances. You should should be smart enough with almost 500 posts to go to the club when it's not super busy ... but I said that just in case.

    If you don't have an interest in conversation and the girl doesn't appleal to you, it's perfectly ok to quickly decline dances. This is part of our job. Tipping a few bucks with your "no's" is definitely kind .... but be careful who you tip. Whoever you tip will ( or at least should ) circulate back around to you and try to sell you dances once you've had more drinks and your wallet is looser !
    Last edited by carmen_b; 11-17-2008 at 02:07 PM.

  14. #13
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Some clubs actually have a means of putting a timetable on this.

    Around here for instance customers can buy their dancer a "drink" which does include a drink, but can cost anywhere from $10-$100 and the dancer keeps a 75-80% commission. Note that the customer has to buy an actual drink at bar prices for the dancer on top of that.

    And I've heard they go as high as $1000 in some other places where this system is used. I've never really been sure though if the more a customer pays, the more time he gets, or if its more of a free will offering sort of thing. I've personally never gone beyond $25, as I'd rather go do dances anyway.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  15. #14
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    121
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 21 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    1) If she's pitching, or welcoming you to the club, no tips are expected.

    2) If she starts a conversation, and excuses herself, and you request she stays longer to talk, YOU MUST TIP HER! She's leaving because she see's you as a lost cause. Put it this way, a dance is usually a few dollars per minute at a club, so for conversation, you should look at about a dollar per minute. While it doesn't equal what she could get on a dance, it is at least measurable and considerable, and neither party really loses out.

    3) If you stop her "to talk" PAY HER UPFRONT! Or else expect a really rude brush off.

  16. #15
    Member
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    44
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    I've been paid for conversation plus dancing because the guys know I could be with someone else instead so I have been compensated to hang around and not leave their table just because I wasn't dancing every song. If a girl is popular you could be paying to keep her on your dance card.

    I'm a good conversationalist too and actually really have fun with my customers.

  17. #16
    Veteran Member Ruby Ruckus's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    524
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    if i spend more than five to ten minutes of my time talking to someone, i expect at least a drink and a tip on stage. if i spend upwards of twenty minutes, i expect a larger stage tip, and ideally would hope for a couple of dances. if i receive neither, i probably will not spend much more time on that customer that evening. while i am not a big hustler, i do still realize that time = money, and that even if he is not willing to spend it on me, other customers may be.

    if you are particularly enjoying the time spent with a girl, and would like to continue speaking with her, tipping for conversation is polite and very much appreciated. if you are spending money on her otherwise (drinks, generous tips, buying dances), it is by no means required. just make sure you are in someway reimbursing her/making talking to you worth her while.
    "If she wants to dance and drink all night, well there's no one that can stop her. She's going til the house lights come up or her stomach spills onto the floor. This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over, worked all week long, and now the music is playing on our time. Yeah we do what we do to get by, and then we need a release!" - Against Me!, "Thrash Unreal"

  18. #17
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    237
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    Even after a couple of years now of being a strip club regular, this is still a subject I find hard to figure out on a case by case basis. I think some general rules are easy.

    1. If a girl comes up to you as a first-timer (whether it's your first time in the club, or just your first time to talk to her), if she is the initiator, there is no "tipping for conversation" (TFC) obligation. She is trying to sell you a dance, or a VIP, and you either buy or you don't. She can stay as short or as long as she wants, it's up to her, but the sale is the tip here.

    2. If you are someone's regular, you pretty much have already worked out what kind of $$ you will be giving for her time and/or dances. So my confusion doesn't really aply here.

    3. If you are Mr. Moneybags, you just let the money flow when you're in the club and there are no worries if you're doing the right thing. Money is always a Right Thing.

    So. If it's not a first-time conversation, you're not a girl's regular, and you're not Mr. Moneybags, is there a TFC obligation? How do you know when it has started? How do you know how much? Does it ever get explicit (it hasn't with me -- and I'm not talking about sexually explicit). How does the girl initiating the conversation, not you, change the TFC obligation? If you get dances, can that cover a TFC obligation?

    It's still all complicated and confusing.
    if a girl goes up to you you have no TFC obligation right away. but if you engage her and keep asking her questions or tell her to stay and keep you company then yes you do have an obligation to tip her for her time or at least buy some dances. i think buying dances can fullfill it but the longer you spend with her the more dances you should get. for ex/ dont waste an hour of a girls time and then only buy one dance.

  19. #18
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    237
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    Yeah, this is part of what really confuses me. If I wanted to give you money, I would just buy a dance (then I would get something for my money). If I don't want to get a dance from you, it also means I don't want to give you money.

    Why should I give a dancer money for giving me a sales pitch, when I don't want to buy? It was her decision to spend the time giving me the sales pitch, not mine. It seems like part of the job.

    Now, if it's me going up to her and then not buying a dance, I could see your point. But with me at least, that has never happened. I would never ever ever ever ever go up to a random dancer and start talking, who I did not already have an intention of buying a dance from.
    but it was your choice to waste her time by letting her continue to talk to you. if you are not interested just say "no thanks im waiting for someone else" and let her move on. If you are too shy to say that just give bad body language- no eye contact, dont answer her questions and she will get the hint. Dont let a dancer stay with you for longer than 15 seconds though if you dont plan on tipping her or dancing with her.

    Random hot nudity for money, of course I'll pay. I can't get that in my daily life. Random conversations, I can get any time I want. Why would I pay for that?
    really? you can get random conversation from a hot girl who isnt going to fight with you, disagree with you, or walk away? you arent paying just for conversation, its for conversation with a beautiful woman who wouldnt give you the time of day otherwise. yes a lot of beautiful women are far too polite and talk to random strangers, but i personally dont. if someone approaches me on the street i smile, answer, and then walk away. so for me personally, no you wouldnt be able to get random conversation with me for free, and im sure this is true for a lot of dancers

  20. #19
    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Philly/AC/Vegas...
    Posts
    1,507
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 129 Times in 80 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    +1 i do not talk to random men (for free) in fact when guys come up and start talking to me i just laugh at them since 99% of the time i am waaay out of their league
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

  21. #20
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    230
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    There seems to be an increasing "mindset" among dancers that for some reason we as customers don't get to choose our types anymore. If I like tall blonde Anna Nicole Smith types and you are a 5FT. brunnette with A cups then I have a perfect right to have you not sit down to begin with but if god forbid that happens then all the sudden I am some kind of a-hole because I didn't imediatley say yes when you asked and if I was nice enough to say yes but did not intend to buy you more than just one "dancer drink" then I was just "wasting your time" for how ever long it took you to drink it.

    There are clubs that are "wanna dance" lap dances factories but even at those clubs there will be times that you are not selling any.

    It seems like a no win situation if we say no to begin with to or just buy that one drink for more than the first 2 or 3 dancers all the rest, some of which you might be quite interested in and willing to spend plenty of money on label you as being some kind of cheap skate who is just there to get "a free show" and then you don't get approached and even if you then go up and tip a dancer who is your type when she is onstage and tell them to come and see you or tell a waitress to send her over they would rather sit at the bar with her GF's or sit forever with some guy that does not apear to be spending any money on her, in some cases not even buying "drinks"

    After I have said to hell with it and left with how ever many 100 bucks I had and was more than willing to spend on my type of girl but not just any girl "who was nice enough to talk to me" you sit and bitch to each other about how you are not making any money.

  22. #21
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    815
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 43 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by saphire123456 View Post
    +1 i do not talk to random men (for free) in fact when guys come up and start talking to me i just laugh at them since 99% of the time i am waaay out of their league
    You sound really nice. I'm sure your life is enhanced by laughing at 99% of guys who try to talk to you, just because they're not "in your league" physically.

  23. #22
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    My suggestion for those who haven't figured something out yet is:
    • (dancing) Be aware of your feelings (lust?) for the gal and figure out ASAP if might you want a dance. The first one is always a trial anyway; just go for it. But don't waste your time or hers.

    • (conversation) Be aware if she could hold your attention for conversation; it shouldnt take more than 2-3 minutes. This isn't a date qualification; it is about club activities. Don't waste your time or hers.

    There is no point in frustrating her or yourself in pointless banter. You're not going to get her in bed and you probably wouldn't want her there anyway; this is just a few minutes of your fantasy time. Whether dancing or talking, pay the girl and make it worth her while spending time with you. This is how she makes a living. What do you do for a living -- chat in hopes someone will drop a few bills on you?
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  24. #23
    Banned
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    With the luggage NJ
    Posts
    2,995
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked 115 Times in 98 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    You sound really nice. I'm sure your life is enhanced by laughing at 99% of guys who try to talk to you, just because they're not "in your league" physically.
    Know the truth and the truth will make you free.

  25. #24
    Newbie
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    If a dancer wants to sit and talk to me thats fine but that doesnt mean im gonna get a dance and im sure as hell not gonna tip her for talking to me if i dont get a dance.. you girls are nuts!

  26. #25
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    237
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Tipping for Conversation

    Quote Originally Posted by dwill325 View Post
    If a dancer wants to sit and talk to me thats fine but that doesnt mean im gonna get a dance and im sure as hell not gonna tip her for talking to me if i dont get a dance.. you girls are nuts!
    Then tell her to go away. Seriously, if shes talking to you its because she wants money not because she's bored so dont be afraid to reject her.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Tipping for conversation redux
    By justsomeguy42 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-12-2010, 10:50 AM
  2. Appropriate tipping
    By GenWar in forum Private Party Dancing
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-16-2007, 11:35 PM
  3. tipping dilemma (am i tipping too little?)
    By miabella in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-12-2005, 08:50 AM
  4. Tipping the DJ?
    By Vyanka in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-13-2004, 11:01 AM
  5. tipping out
    By Sasha04 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-10-2004, 10:00 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •