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Thread: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

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    Default custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    a customer i have know for a reasonably amount time has informed me that he knows pretty much all of my personal information as well as my family's.

    he did not threaten me and acted contrite for having upset me, but i do not trust him to not use this information to harm me of my family.

    i really have no idea what to do in this situation. my family does not know what i do, but i feel as though i should tell them what is going on. not sure how.

    and not sure how to best protect myself either...help, please

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Wow. I wouldn't know what to do either hun. I hope for the best for you.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Yipes! How did he find all this stuff out? How did that conversation go? Is he a regular of yours. That is some scary shit. Good luck hun. Keep us posted.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    ^^he is a regular. he claims to have found all this through my phone #...but i doubt that. maybe my license plate # though.

    he told me he had this information after i turned down an invitation to meet otc. he basically said, "it's been a long time, don't you trust me? look, i even found all of this stuff about you months ago and i haven't used it." which i guess was supposed to make me trust him more. idk...

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Ewwww, he sounds weird. Cut him off and get ready to get a restraining order.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by sprinklesonacupcake View Post
    ^^he is a regular. he claims to have found all this through my phone #...but i doubt that. maybe my license plate # though.

    he told me he had this information after i turned down an invitation to meet otc. he basically said, "it's been a long time, don't you trust me? look, i even found all of this stuff about you months ago and i haven't used it." which i guess was supposed to make me trust him more. idk...
    I've totally had guys pull this. It's almost like they think they're some super spy for finding out all of this about us and that it will either intimidate or impress us, or both.

    Cut. him. off. I am not even kidding. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Cut him off, inform your club of what is happening. Tell him that any further contact will be considered stalking. If he persists, do not hesitate to get a restraining order.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by Dottie Rebel; 11-20-2008 at 12:51 AM.

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    Veteran Member lexi2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Two words: restraining order.
    Originally Posted by MarvelGirl
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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    That's scary and totally unacceptable, but if he doesn't seem threatening, it's possible he's just a moron who can be cut off without further turmoil. I totally agree with Dottie's suggestions. Be done with him -- quick, firm, decisive but polite.

    Also, it's certainly possible he knows what he claims to know; I don't doubt it, but when talking to him, never react as if he actually knows everything he is representing that he knows. That is, do not volunteer anything, confirm anything nor react to any tidbit he reveals, just in case he's phishing to gain more info.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    thanks girls

    i wouldn't be half as worrired if he'd not brought my family into it...

    and what does it take to get a restraining order? does anyone know? i don't think i'm at that point yet, but just in case.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by sprinklesonacupcake View Post
    ^^he is a regular. he claims to have found all this through my phone #...but i doubt that. maybe my license plate # though.

    he told me he had this information after i turned down an invitation to meet otc. he basically said, "it's been a long time, don't you trust me? look, i even found all of this stuff about you months ago and i haven't used it." which i guess was supposed to make me trust him more. idk...
    Why would he know your LP#??? Don't the bouncers walk you and make sure no one is following/watching when you go to your car?

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Creepy. Fucking. Bastard. Do you know FOR SURE if he has all this info? Meaning, did he repeat the info back to you, i.e. did he tell you your phone number, address, etc...or did he just say a general "I have all your info." statement? If he indeed DOES have all your info, go to the cops, your bouncer, the club manager, trusted friends and family, anyone you can. Unfortuanetly, a restraining order can be VERY hard to get, depending on where you live, but having everyone know that this guy is stalking you can help the situation tremendously. See if one of your loved ones will follow you home at night. If you ever feel like you're being followed, DON'T GO HOME, go straight to the police department...trust me, if anyone is following, chances are they will turn right around. All things said, I agree with the other ladies, cutting him completely off is step number 1. Let him know you're not fucking around. As hard as it may be, you need to act as if you don't care that he has this info, be confident to his face...cry in the dressing room. Most criminals will not go after someone who is confident, because it would be too hard to handle for them. I hope this helped, sorry that it was long. Good luck and be careful!
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Ewwww, he sounds weird. Cut him off and get ready to get a restraining order.
    Yup. that is really freaky.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    If he got your information from your tag number (license plate) he committed a crime. Driver's Privacy Protection Act (DPPA) is Federal law. Your State DMV will have a record of all requests for information based on your tag number. Ask that they do a search for such requests. If there are any doubtful entities seeking your info, your DMV should be able to inform you why the requester fit the protocol to be given the info. If the requester lied in order to get your info, the DMV will prosecute. He would have knowingly violated the DPPA and it is the State's responsibility to enforce the act. You should not have to prove anything for DMV to search the record. They are supposed to do random searches as a routine anyway.

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    Senior Member Lucy in the Sky's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by sprinklesonacupcake View Post
    ^^he is a regular. he claims to have found all this through my phone #...but i doubt that. maybe my license plate # though.

    he told me he had this information after i turned down an invitation to meet otc. he basically said, "it's been a long time, don't you trust me? look, i even found all of this stuff about you months ago and i haven't used it." which i guess was supposed to make me trust him more. idk...
    Stalker Alert! Very creepy and I'd take him telling you that after you refused an OTC date as a passive aggresive threat.

    It sounds to me like he was telling you that he could see you OTC with or without your consent. Trying to scare you into doing what he wants. Kind of like saying we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

    eek!

    Also just curious if he proved he knows stuff or is he bluffing? Either way, it's fucked up.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Greel View Post
    If he got your information from your tag number (license plate) he committed a crime. Driver's Privacy Protection Act (DPPA) is Federal law. Your State DMV will have a record of all requests for information based on your tag number. Ask that they do a search for such requests. If there are any doubtful entities seeking your info, your DMV should be able to inform you why the requester fit the protocol to be given the info. If the requester lied in order to get your info, the DMV will prosecute. He would have knowingly violated the DPPA and it is the State's responsibility to enforce the act. You should not have to prove anything for DMV to search the record. They are supposed to do random searches as a routine anyway.
    Ooh, awesome info! That's encouraging, at least.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    Why would he know your LP#??? Don't the bouncers walk you and make sure no one is following/watching when you go to your car?
    they're not very conscientious about it, unfortunately

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Greel View Post
    If he got your information from your tag number (license plate) he committed a crime. Driver's Privacy Protection Act (DPPA) is Federal law. Your State DMV will have a record of all requests for information based on your tag number. Ask that they do a search for such requests. If there are any doubtful entities seeking your info, your DMV should be able to inform you why the requester fit the protocol to be given the info. If the requester lied in order to get your info, the DMV will prosecute. He would have knowingly violated the DPPA and it is the State's responsibility to enforce the act. You should not have to prove anything for DMV to search the record. They are supposed to do random searches as a routine anyway.
    thanks! i'll look into this

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy in the Sky View Post
    Also just curious if he proved he knows stuff or is he bluffing? Either way, it's fucked up.
    only my name, nothing else.

    and i just did a reverse look up on my # and the info is wrong, so if the dmv has no record of any inquiries then i may be ok...

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Well, keep us posted on what you end up doing.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Cut him off, inform your club of what is happening. Tell him that any further contact will be considered stalking. If he persists, do not hesitate to get a restraining order

    YES...definitely inform the club about what is happening. I really hope you have a good management staff that will care and take you seriously. They need to know, cause chances are if he did it to you, and they continue to let him come in, it's only a matter of time before he'll do it to someone else.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    It just goes to show, you really have to be careful what you tell people in the club. It's amazing all of the things these guys remember about us. Make sure you don't take this threat lightly. He could be a crazy man for real and not just a disgruntled custy. You don't want to take any chances. There's some great advice on here. Good luck with whatever you decide. If it were me I'd have his a$$ strung up by the po po.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    This Is Why I Lie.


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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    ^^i did not Tell him any of this information ... that's the whole point

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    He didn't say it in a threatening way so you wouldn't call the cops. But for him to have dug up such info should make you understand that he is a threat though he didn't make one. All you had to of done for him to find this out is walk toa car in your name and he could get your license plate number. He can get all your info from that. Technology...a friend, a foe.
    People have so much info at the click of a button.

    If you see this "custy" again you could pretend to be all chummy with him, call the cops quietly, bid your time, then when they get there, rapidly explain that this man has made threats against you and your family and knows all information (though he's made no threats. They will take little or no action for a simple case of "stalking"). But then you could anger this man that has already probably made plans to pay you an unwanted visit, because cops are unlikely to take a stripper seriously. They may even laugh. My husband publicaly hit me in a restroom for walking in on him while he was reading a naughty magazine and I was already upset for having waited on him 20 plus minutes. He wouldn't come out or answer me. I came in. He threw me up against a wall, etc just because I said "what in the hell are you reading?". A cashier called a cop, I told the cop my story and was crying, and he laughed and said I shouldn't have walked in on him! Cops are mean! I've also had other cop problems very similar in the past. I don't trust them with my problems.

    Maybe you need to arrange for a few people to scare him and to hurt this guy bad enough to require a hospital stay for messing with you and have these ppl assure him that if it ever comes up that he has even so much as said your name that he will be dead. I know this sounds crazy, but you are in a dangerous world and when someone does illegal/dirty things to you in a world where the law doesn’t want to help, you’ve got to play dirty back.

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    Default Re: custie found all my info...don't know what to do

    The guy sounds like a complete creep.

    There's already some great advice here. I'd suggest carrying something around with you that you can use for protection (i.e., pepper spray, taser, gun, etc.....whatever is legal in your area whatever you feel comfortable with). I know it sounds drastic and some people will disagree with me. Guys like this are mostly cowards and will back down if you show that you're not intimidated from the beginning, but you never can tell if he's one of those cowards or if he's that guy who doesn't care about physically hurting you. If the you-know-what hits the fan and this guy gets you in a bad situation, you can use all the help you can get.

    Also, spread around as much information as you can about this guy. Tell your friends, family, coworkers about what he looks like, his name, the car he drives, what he wears, etc....anything you've got on him. Strength comes in numbers and you don't want to convey an aura of isolationism to this guy.

    Okay...enough of my rambling. Stay safe and keep us updated!

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