I hate Christmas and holiday crap.

[angelina]

I came home from a tropical vacation this week. Flight landed-it was cold and raining, got in a cab and on the way home, I notice the city turned all the Christmas lights on in my absence. I am bitter, jaded and grumpy. I have no love for Christmas and New Years. I am taking the one month or so nonsense day by day since it feels like such crap. To top it off, during my vacation, someone borrowed my computer and didn't log off and I found out that someone lied to me and betrayed me.

[jt777]

holidays are crap. i dont care for it much either. having to see people that you dont want to see during the holidays is really the pits.

[goldengrl69]

meh......ITA, just a money making scheme

[sol_de_pr2]

My guess is that after laying on the beach half-naked (or completely naked) everything else sucks

[carmen_b]

Sounds like a bit of post vaction depression to me too. Keep in mind that you don't have to fully participate during the holidays.

Here is some stuff that I do to ease the stress:

Buy gifts online ( this year everyone is getting $50 rest. gift cards that I bought for $25 each off the net , last year everyone got stuff from overstock.com ). I realize some people enjoy shopping, I just don't.

Pick rsvp's carefully. You don't have to attend everything. Don't let people push you into feeling like you need to attend everything!

Take care of yourself. It's ok if your present to yourself is a trip to the spa or whatever you are into !

Pick and choose the stuff you want to do! I don't hate all Christmas activities .... just roughly half .... so I try to avoid those.

[twisterinAZ]

I used to hate the holidays...but now I realize I only hate my family.

[whirlerz]

Well, I've never been a holidays person, esp. this yr. A real tragedy recently happened, & about the same time, I was really let down hard by some ppl. I truly counted on. I don't have really many gifts to buy, & basically no parties to attend. Which, that part is fine.
Sorry that happened to you, angelina. It does sound like 'post vac. depression' if there is such a thing. I know when I came back from a similar trip, I was horribly depressed.

[Paris]

I like the lights and the decorations and stuff. The music is fun, too. I could do with less calories, less family stress, less money stress, and just less stress in general.

I wrote this last year, but can't remember where I put it, so for the Scrooges amongst us:
How to entertain your inner scrooge:

*Walk around the shopping center and proclaim loudly "I'm sure glad I got all my Christmas shopping done in July. I'd hate to have to try and shop for people this time of year."

*Get drunk at/near the mall and wander around and try all the free samples. I like the places that sell hand lotion like Bath and Body Works. Also, the ice cream shops will give you about 8-9 free tastes before they cut you off.

*While drunkenly wandering the mall, pop into the fine jewelry store and try on all the really big diamond rings. (This is fun any time of year, actually) Then play the part of the tire kicker and say "Well, I'll have to tell my boyfriend about this place!" (I see this as revenge against the customers that give strippers the line "I'm just here to drink". Whatever, Dude.)

*On the wedding theme, bridal shops are really, really slow in November and December. It is so much fun playing dress up! Just walk in with a woman that is older than you, and pretend like you are needing a wedding gown. When you have found your dream gown, say something like "If I just could find Mr. Right..." (This is especially fun if you are a man)

*While drunkenly wandering the mall, find a partner-in-crime and go on and on about how hard it was to tell your kid that Santa didn't exist. Be sure to be standing right next to the Santa booth when proclaiming this at top volume.

*Drive extra slowly on main thoroughfares while obviously pointing out lights displays near by. This is especially entertaining during the evening rush hour.

*Shop at Toys R Us and use the dirtiest language you can think of. Use it in a redneck manner, ie; "Where are all the fuckin' crayons in this shit-hole! My brat fuckin' loves to color an' shit!"

*It is especially fun to torture kids that parents have let run wild at stores or restaurants. Just walk up to the rugrat and declare: "I work for Santa, and I know what you did." Then walk away without another word. Or, if you're a little more gentle with kids like me, a statement like "I work for Santa and he is bringing you a new baby puppy for Christmas this year." Is equally effective.

*Walk up to random men with bitchy looking wives/girlfriends, and act like he was the biggest spender ever at the club! Lavish him with affection and flirt mercilessly. This is usually good for a laugh, and the wife/girlfriend will score herself a sweet x-mas gift!

*Mess with cashiers by changing your mind about payment method. Hand him/her cash then switch it up by saying to him/her "Never mind, I'll need that cash later. I'm just going to use my visa instead." If you have an old credit card that is expired, this is even more fun. When the card is declined, just hand the cashier the money you used in the first place. This will piss off most cashiers, but not nearly as much as handing over a $20 bill for a $15.27 purchase, then right after he/she opens the cash drawer, hand him/her the 0.27 cents as well. (It is scary how much this throws a cashier for a loop!)

*Drive around the mall parking lot until you find an incredibly close space (This may take 45-50 minutes). Then go into the mall for a few minutes and head back to your car. Climb into the drivers seat, close the door, step on the brakes to make the tail lights engage. Then, when the line forming behind your parking space is getting long (5-6 cars should do it), get out of your car and walk back into the mall. (I must admit to doing this on multiple occasions. It always made me laugh until I peed)

*When carolers appear at your door, quickly strip down to your underwear before answering the door. Then throw the door open (to their stunned stares), and proclaim loudly "Welcome to the Tuesday night swingers meeting! You may disrobe here at the front and the party is already in full swing in the leather room. Come on in!" (This also works great with Jehovah's witnesses any time of year)

*During the day, deface Christmas yard displays by posing the lighted deer in x-rated positions. Most people won't notice the change in their display until after everything has been lit up and the neighbors complain. A variation on this is to knock over the rein deer and attach a couple of strands of red lights to look like a hunter had a good day.

*Yard displays can be so much fun! Try steeling yard ornaments from one neighbor and adding them to the yard of a house a block or two away.

*Last one on yard display defacement: During the day unplug all the connective light strings in a neighbor's light display. Then when said neighbor switches on his/her lights that evening, nothing will light. That should keep him/her busy for a while.

*This one is always good for a laugh. Stand outside a popular health club eating Christmas cookies and/or candy. It is really funny if you are a slender person. It becomes hilarious if you are there with a thin friend and she is scarfing down candy canes with you. After you have eaten all the candy and cookies, ask your friend (loudly) if she is ready to go vomit now. Bwahahahaha! (I've done this at a Cracker Barrel before after stuffing my face with TWO big breakfasts in one sitting. I didn't vomit, I was just really hungry. Even the wait staff was commenting on my healthy appetite.)

*Go to Wal Mart and haggle. Be very enthusiastic in your haggling. Try to talk the cashier down on the price of the items you are purchasing. Use the excuse "But the store is just going to mark down all this stuff on December 26th anyway. Just save us both some time and discount it now."

*Crash a company Christmas party. It is best to crash a party of a huge company (Think Nike in Portland, Microsoft in Seattle etc.). Dress in a Santa suit, and walk up to the table with the ladies handing out the name tags. Just pick one at random, and enjoy your free dinner and booze! Be sure to cop a feel from the opposite sex throughout the night, just so that everyone will have something to talk about when they return to work.



*For you hard core Scrooges out there, dress in elf/santa's helper gear. Head to the mall with packages of chocolate covered espresso beans. As the children leave the Santa booth hand each one a bag of "candy" and wish the child and the parent a Merry Christmas. This is especially fun on Christmas eve! Like the kids are going to get any sleep anyway...

Happy Bah-Humbug!

[Jeanette]

Those scrooge recommendations are hilarious Paris! Thankfully I don't have much free time. I may have to forward this to my friends though.

[sorsi]

The holidays crack me up. I love to sit back and laugh at everyone going crazy.

[goldengrl69]

Im LMAO at Paris!

[babybambi08]

Im sorry your haven such a bad time.. I know sometimes the holidays can suck... I have had two years of terrible of holidays.. I love jesus and Im "spirital" but sometimes I think people over do it, but then again its only once a year and it can be fun..
Maybe try going to get your nails done or something like a massage to help you out?? that stuff always helps me ..