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Thread: Out of retirement, into the oven?

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    Member SuzieQ523's Avatar
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    Default Out of retirement, into the oven?

    Ok so here's my story. I stopped dancing in mid-July to switch to a "normal" job as a server at an upscale restaurant. And while that started out fine, over the last several weeks I haven't made any money, was reprimanded heavily for calling in sick once when I had a 102.6 fever, and have been scheduled to work back to back doubles leading me to not seeing my kid. I am completely miserable every time I drive to work especially when I think back to the days I was on my own schedule without listening to a manager with a severe Napoleon complex rattle on about doing something miniscule a certain way (and then making me feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world for not knowing the difference). I can take constructive criticism very well, especially when I'm still learning, but when I'm made to feel like I'm not even capable of writing my own name, it makes me feel like less of the independent, self-sufficient woman I know I am. And I don't need to drive 45 minutes to put up with that shit.
    The problem is I'm scared. I'm scared to quit my job and go back to dancing. While I'm miserable where I am right now, I don't know how lucrative I can make my time at the club because I'm afraid I've lost my "mojo". I would do almost anything to have more time at home with my son which was possible when I danced. I'm just worried. I hate quitting a job without a 2 week notice but my anxiety attacks are so bad when driving to work that I have to force myself to continue on to the restaurant instead of U-turning back home. In this economy I don't know if something more like a "regular" job is smarter than going back to the club. I thought about cutting my hours back and dancing on the side. But I'm almost confident that because tourist season is on the horizon they won't allow me to.
    I really miss being a stay at home mom with heaps of cash. I miss my girls and the club. Most of all I miss running my own life. I know I sound pathetic and dramatic, but I had to let it out in the place I really feel I could. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this. Advice/comments/"been there done that"s are appreciated, but mainly I want to give a big thank you for just listening. I have to say I feel better than I have in a while just getting it off my chest.



    Peace and Love

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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    You don't sound pathetic at all. You have some serious decisions to make. Is there a way to go back to dancing on your days off from the restaurant. So you can see if that's still what you really want. Also if you turn in a two week notice at the restaurant,maybe Mr. Bonaparte will ask you NOT to work it and then you can go back to dancing right away. I wish you the best whatever you decide. Cheers!!! Harlow

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    I too wish you the best. You sound mature and responsible and honestly we need more girls like you in the industry.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    I am in the same boat as you. I quit dancing 2 months ago and now have a regular job (due to pregnancy) and I absolutely hate every minute of my job even though it provides a steady paycheck and benefits. I hate having to ask permission to go on lunch and bathroom breaks and suck up to a dipshit boss. I can't wait to go back to dancing, even if the money's not as good as it was when I quit, at least I enjoy doing it and having freedom and money to spend.

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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    when i quit dancing, i took a job that i liked. just like you can hunt around and find a club that suits you with dancing, so you can in non-dancing work.

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    Veteran Member cadencetyme's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    You sound like you do need to make a change, and i feel like i was feeling so similar to you a little while ago before i started back to dancing.

    When i quit my corporate job at the end of July i did not give 2 weeks notice...I didnt go in on Monday morning when i realized i was having a panic attack and realized that id rather die than continue to live like that.

    what i had been through at the job and what i would NOT GAIN at that job was idiotic compared to the perks of dancing. EVEN in shitty times i didnt have to go through some of the issues you are having which is a perk of dancing.

    Flexible scheduling, working at your own pace w/ little invervening, and just the freedom that dancing offers are giving me some time to think of where to go from here and to get sane again.

    I dont think youll be losing ianything f you leave youre current job- As long as you keep your bills covered you sound as if youll be gaining time to be a mommy and some sanity.

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    Member SuzieQ523's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    Thanks so much for your encouraging words! I'm so excited to go back to dancing, I've decided that's the best decision for me right now. Just thinking about it makes my normal job go by much smoother since I have a new plan now. I've settled on working Sat-Tues afternoons at the restaurant (which is a possibility of 7 shifts and I'm sure I won't be scheduled every one of them) so that leaves Tues nights-Friday nights open for the club, and if they don't like my new availability they can learn how to deal with it when I won't work there period. F*ck it. I'm going to tell them on Thursday which gives them another week and a half to watch me stand around 40+ hours and make nothing. Whooo, I may just go out and buy a new dance outfit for the occasion

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    This is an outgrowth of some things discussed in Dollar Den, but it does explain what seems to be happening in regard to waitstaff in the restaurant industry.

    A. restaurant meals are the #1 'cutback' item when people's weekly budgets become stressed.

    B. increasing the minimum wage, plus increasing state insurance premiums for unemployment insurance and workmen's comp, has prompted many restaurants to cut the NUMBER of waitstaff employees ... but to expect the remaining employees to work more hours ( i.e. every additional employee is an additional unemployment / comp payment, thus fewer employees means lower payments regardless of how many hours those fewer employees work)

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    Member SuzieQ523's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    ^^ So true. And given the fact that there may be little to no "season" at all for us in Florida due to people cutting back on vacations means even less money in my pocket.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockell View Post
    I hate having to ask permission to go on lunch and bathroom breaks and suck up to a dipshit boss. .
    Yes, Thank you! I swear entry level positions are terrible, it's like being treated like a child! Maybe it's bc dancing has been my only long term job, but I feel like this anger rise up in my soul when I have to kiss ass to some dumb fuck while performing a menial task for 10/hour.....
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    Quote Originally Posted by VegasPrincess View Post
    Maybe it's bc dancing has been my only long term job, but I feel like this anger rise up in my soul when I have to kiss ass to some dumb fuck while performing a menial task for 10/hour.....
    +1! You two are definitely not alone.

    OP, I actually think you should put up with this Napoleon asswipe and his shithole of a restaurant for another week or two, and really allow yourself to FEEL it. Really feel how angry and depressed you are there; make sure you won't soon forget how miserable this job is. Make an earnings chart for yourself, or pull up your bank statements from the time you started working at the restaurant and post them on your wall, so you can really SEE how broke you are and how little you earn for putting up with all this nonsense. When a customer treats you like crap, burn that incident and your feelings into your mind (and remember that if you were in the club, you could just walk away.)

    Do all this for another week or two, and I bet you'll find a whole new view on going back to the club, and a whole new appreciation for the opportunity to dance.

    FWIW, I'm in the exact same spot. Now that I'm returning to dancing, I've got a whole new outlook on it, and I'm not going to waste a single minute of possible money-making time when I go back. No more being hesitant or passive with customers, no more allowing other people's pessimism and negativity to poison my mind and discourage me, no more being lazy and chatting in the DR when I should be on the floor 100% of the time, no more going in to work not looking my best, no more excuses. Working a low-level crap job has been just what I needed to get me back into dancing with a whole new attitude, and not taking it for granted anymore. Same for you...I bet you'll bank when you go back to the club.

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    Member SuzieQ523's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of retirement, into the oven?

    Sorsi, that was great advice!! Thank you! When I danced I kept record of EVERYTHING I made every night I worked. I averaged what I made an hour vs what I make now and that was exactly what I needed. For the entire time I've been at this snooty restaurant I kept my dancing past to myself because of how conservative the environment was. The past week I've told a few people (guys mainly) and I got great feedback. I've just stopped trying to hide it and I feel really great about that. One even asked if it would be ok to come see me and I said of course so long as he makes it worth my while . I'm really excited this time around. Every minute is going to be focused on earning the top dollar I can, no excuses to not put an extra amount of effort into my apperance each night, I'm going to the gym more, and I'm making a little mental list of more "guidelines" I'm setting for myself. Whooo hooo!

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