Hi, this is my first post, and I don't know anyone here yet, but I do have experience with this issue, so here is my 2 cents:
(1) Both of you need to get out of the "Blame Game" - it isn't anyone's fault, unless (a) you aren't telling him what feels good, or (b) he is ignoring you.
(2) You need to become more familiar with what makes you come by masturbating in various ways. Then you can show him what works. It is also a weird fact that the more you have orgasms (no matter how), the easier it becomes to have them. Kinda like practice makes perfect.
(3) Some women can only come with clitoral stimulation, some vaginal, some both. In a kind way, you need to educate your boyfriend that YOUR orgasms do not follow HIS (or any one else's) rules. Maybe you could tell him that your vagina is all for it, but your clit is deaf.
(4) Try removing the pressure by making love, but NOT trying to come - just focus on making it feel good. That can include you rubbing your clit, him rubbing you clit, using a vibrator, and with or without intercourse. Remember, while doing this, the point is NOT to come - the point is just to feel good. If you keep that up for a few times, sooner or later, you will come by accident!
(5) Communicate openly, honestly, and with kindness - but don't let him make you feel guilty or "less than" in any way.
Good luck, and don't give up! Sorry if I went on too long or offended anyone.
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