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Thread: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

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    Default boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    hey girls. ok so i def need your help here!! i dont know what is going on but the guy i have been dating for 7 months seems like he has completely lost interest in banging me! i dont live with him but i do stay overnight quite often and the past 3 times i stayed at his house we did nothing more than kiss (and im not even talking about making out...) i dont know what is causing this...i think it is one of four things though...
    * he is either banging someone else
    * he doesnt find me attractive anymore (although i look the same as when i first met him)
    * he cant deal with the fact that i went back to dancing
    * he cant get it up/ keep it up because of excessive alcohol

    I will explain the whole situation...
    I took 2 months off from dancing in search of a 9-5 job. he was very happy about this since he hated the stripping. i was unable to find another job and had to go back to the club but i didnt tell him i went back because i didnt plan on staying there for more than another month. he came in one night unexpectidly and saw me...he got more pissed than ive ever seen him, told me never to talk to him again, etc. we didnt speak for a week, then he called and we made up. we went out that night and this is the last night that we had sex. this was about 3 weeks ago. i dont know if he is still angry about this situation and therefore doesnt want to have sex with me? another issue is that he is a heavy drinker. he goes out about 4 times a week and gets wasted. he blacks out sometimes. i dont know if this could be causing problems sexually??--- he is only 28 so isnt that kinda young to have ED? everything between us is the same...we have been getting along well; seeing eachother quite a bit; etc. the only thing is we dont fuck anymore...plz help ladies!

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    Member zoe69's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    Possiblly and you know what to do. I belive, You have to decide what is important to you, couse deep down, I would say he is not ready for you.
    But, than I don't know you! Good luck!

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    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    Ultimatum time... Alcohol is interfering with his life big time. I have only been sober for like, two months and I drank for yeeeaaars. It made me very unhappy about whatever situation I was in. People also drink more when things stress them out (like, your girlfriend going back to dancing maybe?)

    It's my un-professional opinion that he made up with you because it felt right, he didn't want to end it over that- but his trust is a little broken. He may be biding his time, looking for something better or waiting for YOU to do something. To tell him his behavior is not OK or that you are sorry or maybe waiting for you to find a 9-5 again... Do you still plan on doing that or just sticking with the dancing?

    It's partially about the situation you're putting him in, but alcohol is a big factor. the pure PLEASURE he experiences when drinking may feel better than sex with girls. I know that I personally got that way a lot. I'd rather just drink and laugh and pass out then go through all this grunting and rubbing and intimacy with someone who I am actually GUILTY around because I knew I was a fuck-up.

    Just some thoughts hope it helped

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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    kennedywinters, thank you so much for replying you have helped me alot

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    Yeah if he is upset about you dancing again (obviously he was and probably still is even if he isn't saying so), plus he drinks heavily, it could easily affect your sex life. Drinking deadens you, and though sometimes it means people fucking all night with drunken abandon, it can also kill the desire to fuck pretty well, especially if the drinking fuels the anger or discontent. Especially if there are blackouts, that's a very bad sign, even if he is younger, if it happens on a regular basis.

    I mean my memory can get a little hazy if I am partying heavily, but I never like that, even if I didn't do anything stupid, haha! I love to fool around when I am drunk, but usually prefer fucking when sober these days, or maybe a couple of drinks tops. I want to feel it all.

    If I am mad I do not want to fuck, sometimes even when I am mad at something else, it kills the mood. If I am drunk and mad, no fucking way. OK, bad pun, not intended.

    A lot of women will say "Dump the loser!" anytime someone posts their boyfriend doesn't like the dancing, but truth be told very few men can handle it, and a lot of those who can are fucking jerks. But then a lot of times the guys who get mad about the dancing want their cake and eat it too. Dump the losers. You can't have it both ways.

    The mistake you made was hiding it from him. Not to condemn you, god knows I have made mistakes. Maybe if you talk to him and tell him that you understand that and feel bad. Don't demand sex, that won't work either and could backfire. Make him realize you feel bad about the situation and want him to love you in a more seductive gentle way maybe.

    Good luck...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    A lack of honesty and trust could make a person not want to be intimate. You didn't do anything wrong by dancing... but you acted like you did because you lied about it. That KILLS intimacy. Neither of you should be in this relationship. He can't live with what you do. And you know that or you would have told him... but instead you did it behind his back, which is disrespectful to your relationship, to him, and to YOURSELF. Find someone that you can be straight because he won't judge you for being who you are.

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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    Heavy drinking intereferes with lots of aspects of life long after the hangover is over. The fuzziness only goes away after a few weeks of being sober. (As told to me by a woman who stopped drinking.)

    Have you considered finding someone else who is not an alcoholic?
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: boyfriend doesnt fuck me anymore!!

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer View Post
    Have you considered finding someone else who is not an alcoholic?
    You deserve a mate who has his shit together, provided you aspire to that. It doesn't sound like he is right for you at this time.
    Your desires are important too.

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