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Thread: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

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    Senior Member Lio's Avatar
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    Default How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    In the past 12 or so years I have come across many dancers of all ages, and ethnic backgrounds at the stripclubs. One group seems to still make me uneasy, and that is the new dancers. They are usually young, some are too young to have drinks. Most of the regular dancers tend to shun them with little reguard, sometimes even telling me how wide open they leave themselves to potential pervs.. looking for their moment. I'm in no way an expert, but would it be offensive of myself, as a patron, to give out advice to a new dancer with the scoop on these topics? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and let them work out the early clumbsiness?

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lio View Post
    In the past 12 or so years I have come across many dancers of all ages, and ethnic backgrounds at the stripclubs. One group seems to still make me uneasy, and that is the new dancers. They are usually young, some are too young to have drinks. Most of the regular dancers tend to shun them with little reguard, sometimes even telling me how wide open they leave themselves to potential pervs.. looking for their moment. I'm in no way an expert, but would it be offensive of myself, as a patron, to give out advice to a new dancer with the scoop on these topics? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and let them work out the early clumbsiness?
    Don't give out unsolicited advice. It comes across as rude even if it's well intended.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I rarely if ever get near a dancer who is under 30. In that age range a newbie is rare. I have met a few who older gals who were new to dancing but not new at all to being a woman. They really didn't need any advice from me...

    As far as giving advice to young women. As a customer I think it's a bit presumptuous to think that our POV is going to be of much help to them. The things they need to learn they will learn from watching and talking to helpful veteran dancers.
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I would say, to the extent that you can, help people where ever you go. Do it not out of a need to feed your ego, or demonstrate your superiority, or gain an edge, but do it out of a sincere belief in the law of karma, and giving.

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    Veteran Member bella du jour's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Keep in mind, if you're spending their time giving out advice, make sure you buy dances/ tip them for their time. The number one thing every newbie has to learn is to not cheapen themselves and cockblock other dancers by sitting with guys for free!!!


    I'm sure you only want to help, but sitting around broke is a bad habit that many shy new girls are quick to pick up and need to be broken of ASAP. It frustrates the newbie who can't figure out why she's broke, more mature dancers looking to make money off of you, other customers who wish to dance with said new girl, and eventually the guy she's clinging onto.

    Just my .02

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    All about my boobs...

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I tend to make them feel comfortable with compliments... not "OMG you are hot" but "you have a beautiful back... neck..." or whatever if its true. Something they may not have heard before. I make them laugh. I have danced for them in VIP - it cracks them up, and depending on the girl, they get into it.

    I ask them who their favorite dancers are in the club in terms of talent. That usually opens up a conversation about what they want to get better at. If they say LDs, it's a great time to say - "well let's go practice!" Or "show me what you got and I'll come back in a month and you can show me something new..."

    Keep them laughing and at ease. If they seem receptive, i.e., really want to learn, I might ask if they want to hear about my favorite dances... or offer to show them.


    I remember one the dancer's hands were shaking... I stopped her, kissed her hand and said "relax, nobody is grading you... just chill and have fun." She liked hearing that.

    I agree, above all, get a dance from them.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I can give a gal advice on how to make money off of me, but that's about as useful as that advice is. I say experience with different types of customers will teach them the ropes better than I can.

    That point taken, I have advised a few newbie dancers in the past to watch their backs, and to stick up for themselves. Oddly enough, I give my friends who want to try out their first SC that same advice.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Veteran Member missmays1983's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Mr. Happy...

    Aww i think that was a really sweet and tactful way to put it (...'relax, nobody is grading you...just chill and have fun')...that would definitely make me feel better if i was nervous...

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    Veteran Member grindonme's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    I can give a gal advice on how to make money off of me, but that's about as useful as that advice is. I say experience with different types of customers will teach them the ropes better than I can.
    i co-sign the above statement, everything else she is gonna go thru regardless of the advice you give her or not

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    Featured Member Ms. Mia Roberts's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    it depends on the person.... i'm still on newbie status but i wouldn't be doing half as good if i didn't A. Find stripperweb which has enough advice to make your head spin & B. met a few nice strippers along the way that gladly gave me a few tips and tricks free of charge.

    some people might take advice as an insult, but i definitely used it and wouldn't mind passing on what i learned to a few newbies.





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    Senior Member Lio's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I guess that I just feel sorry for the new ones, who are not making much money, and who need to watch out more for their own safety from a rough enviroment. If I like her, and want to help, of course I have a couple of dances to get some money going in her direction. In the past couple years at my new regular club, I know about 20 of the 30 or so dancers, and very few of them like the new girls, let alone try to help them. I see them come and go, but most of the 20 core dancers are always there on any given Saturday..

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    Veteran Member cadencetyme's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    ^^^Why not offer up advice to newbies if you see them making mistakes regarding their safety- especially if you are more hip to the environment than them.Ive had a few customers school me to some things that i had yet to pick up on just because i was new to the club.

    As far as hustle advice, im not so sure if you need to take that role as a custie or how thatd go down in general. I made a lot of pricey mistakes along the way, but i alllllmost needed to lose that money to break me of my bad habits,lol.

    Also your core dancers made it for a reason, they figured things out. Newbies have SHITLOADS of access to help these days. If they cant hang it really is a sign.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    A newbie dancer used to sit at a front table after her stage with her feet up (this was to be a recurring theme). I finally caught her eye and she came over and plopped her butt in my lap sideways ,put her feet up and started talking.She had a self-deprecating sense of humor that would seem to work for a genuine newbie. The reason she was watching the other dancers was to "copy their" moves ". Her LD's were what I would call 'overly enthusiastic' but I wasn't complaining. I thought about telling her maybe she should ease into things but then hey! who am I to tell somebody how to do their job! I think she'll do fine and figure things out without my advice

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Probably the one thing that consistently pisses me off (and it's pretty hard to piss me off) is when customers try to give me advice about my job. I'm not a newbie, but even as a newbie, I absolutely couldn't stand how patronizing it seemed when customers would try to direct me. The stripping biz is something that strippers should learn on their own or with the help of other strippers (IMHO). Unless you're giving out helpful general advice (like don't leave your drink unattended), I would refrain from educating newbies.

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    Veteran Member bsteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Probably the one thing that consistently pisses me off (and it's pretty hard to piss me off) is when customers try to give me advice about my job. I'm not a newbie, but even as a newbie, I absolutely couldn't stand how patronizing it seemed when customers would try to direct me.
    Lio, please heed what charlie just said. Keep your mouth shut. Do not try to "help" dancers. For a number of reasons.

    Firstly, stripping is their job. Nobody likes to be told how to do their job. I don't, they don't, and most likely you don't. I know that you are just trying to help. But they don't view it that way; they view it as a criticism. Sorry.

    Secondly, read any book on male-famale relationships. The vast majority of them let the reader know that a guy should not try to help the woman how to do something. Do you remember how you got into a fight with your girlfriend because you tried to give her an advice, and she took it all wrong, and she got upset at you, and you got upset at her because she did not appreciate your advice like she should have? Do you remember? Well, we've all been there. The reason why the two of you got into a fight is because a woman looks at unsolicited advice differently than a guy does. A guy friend would not generally get upset at a heartfelt advice, while your girlfriend would. It does not mean that you are right and she is wrong, or that she is right and you are wrong. It's just a different way of how guys and women look at the world. So whenever you think that a woman needs your advise, just shut your lips, and wait until she asks for it.

    And a note to Charlie: please don't be upset at guys who try to give you "advice". They are not being assholes. They are trying to be helpful. It is just a guys' way of saying: "I care" and not "You are inadequate".

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    ^^ Yeah, but 99% of the time, the vibes I get from advice people is "I know better than you do," and not "I want to help you increase your earnings." Usually advice is coming from someone who thinks that you're doing something wrong ("You should go hustle those guys over there--they look like they have money") or because they're trying to get rid of you by undermining how you've done something. Not usually a helpful thing.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I have from time to time given advice to 'newbie' dancers, but it tends to be under special circumstances.

    I have for a number of years now given a limited number of dancers lifts home if they need it. Sometimes, I'll be asked if I can also give dancer 'x' a lift because she lives along the way. If I drop the dancer I'm friends with off first, I've noticed that the other dancer (particularly if she's a newbie) will sometimes bring the conversation round to dancing and we'll end up exchanging thoughts on the subject.

    If the conversation has included body language, I've also noticed that sometimes I'll be asked about it again if the dancer sees me inside a club. As body language has been an interest of mine for many years, I've always been happy to give some pointers on how controlling body language can improve earnings.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    When asked my opinion, I always give an honest answer but the only unsolicited advice I ever give is to girls I knew before they got into dancing. There have been a few of those over the years.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    I have accumulated a lot of knowledge and experience over the years but it is not my place to tell any dancer how to do her job. I am a pretty mellow fellow. If I see a newbie stumble I will just smile and be nice to her. If my fav sitting next to me tries to engage me in a conversation about it (which she does sometimes) I will just wink and take a drink of my beer. Life is too short to be a fucking critic.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    i have seen money mistakes from dancers ..the only advice i ever give is tell her WHAT I LIKE. look me in the eyes, everything that most guys like w/o extras. this tends to let her know that looking at the customer instead of in the mirror, smiling when eye contact and gentle nibbles on the neck will make her more money. i never tell a dancer this unless she just doesnt know what she is doing. it doesnt come out as advice but what i would like to have done to me.
    i would never be so brash as to take her by the hand and say hey let me help you out here .
    could you imagine if the dancers were to grade us or give us advice as a customer in the club. how would you feel if a dancer said you know you should wear different cologne because that one just smells funky on you. You know you shouldnt tuck in your shirt because it makes your belly look massive. You know if you wouldnt act like your gods gift to women or some other annoying shit it would be easier for me to act like i am interested in you. Could you not blow smoke right in my face i would love to make it to my 30th birthday. You work where omg are you serious, that is truly horrible--it must really suck to be you.
    GET THE PICTURE

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    no customer should tell any dancer how she should do her job unless she asks him for advice. no matter how you -think- we should do our job, you are probably wrong. you're seeing the strip-club world from a customer perspective and it's just -not- the same. you may think that, because you're a guy and because you're a customer, you know how a dancer can increase her earning potential. i'm sorry, but the chances are you're wrong. you may be able to give a few common sense pointers, but really, that's about it. the best advice usually comes from veteran dancers. hell, i know male managers who've been in the bizz for 10+ years and have no idea (though they think different) how most things go. men tend to think "what works for me is going to work for every customer in here" and that's far from true. also, and not to sound like a bitch, but i've noticed that customers (in general) tend to -think- they want one thing and then will actually -respond- to another. IOW you may not even really -know- what "sells" you. you may think you do, but it probably goes deeper than that.

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    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Probably the one thing that consistently pisses me off (and it's pretty hard to piss me off) is when customers try to give me advice about my job. I'm not a newbie, but even as a newbie, I absolutely couldn't stand how patronizing it seemed when customers would try to direct me. The stripping biz is something that strippers should learn on their own or with the help of other strippers (IMHO). Unless you're giving out helpful general advice (like don't leave your drink unattended), I would refrain from educating newbies.
    +1.....I hate when guys would try to give me advice. It was never helpful, it just came across as patronizing and condescending. Stripping is something you get more comfortable with on your own over time.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    men tend to think "what works for me is going to work for every customer in here" and that's far from true. also, and not to sound like a bitch, but i've noticed that customers (in general) tend to -think- they want one thing and then will actually -respond- to another. IOW you may not even really -know- what "sells" you. you may think you do, but it probably goes deeper than that
    .

    i stand corrected and have learned . to think that what works for me will work for others was a bit presumptious<<<spelling.
    i do get a little miffed though when a dancer looks in the mirror the whole time she is dancing for me. Maybe i am wrong---should i hint to her that i would like eye contact or should i treat it as a lost cause and move on. And if i should hint any ideas of how to put it. I mean as a dancer i assume they want to dance back to back until they have to go look for another custy. I had one dancer that had everything but she just seemed so engrossed with the mirror behind me that i just wasnt feeling it. she had been dancing for 2 months and was complaining of not stacking dances. i mentioned that i like eye contact and she tried but it just wasnt happening.
    i have had a couple of dancers throw something at me that i did not realize that it worked so well for me. excellent point----and i look forward to more of the suprises.

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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    ^^ Yeah--there's a reason some strippers bank and others don't. You don't have to be the hottest girl in the bar to be intuitive enough to know exactly what your customers are looking for. And those are the dancers who make money. The other ones complain a lot, IME...

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to treat new unexperienced dancers.

    Quote Originally Posted by stressed View Post
    .

    i stand corrected and have learned . to think that what works for me will work for others was a bit presumptious<<<spelling.
    i do get a little miffed though when a dancer looks in the mirror the whole time she is dancing for me. Maybe i am wrong---should i hint to her that i would like eye contact or should i treat it as a lost cause and move on. And if i should hint any ideas of how to put it. I mean as a dancer i assume they want to dance back to back until they have to go look for another custy. I had one dancer that had everything but she just seemed so engrossed with the mirror behind me that i just wasnt feeling it. she had been dancing for 2 months and was complaining of not stacking dances. i mentioned that i like eye contact and she tried but it just wasnt happening.
    i have had a couple of dancers throw something at me that i did not realize that it worked so well for me. excellent point----and i look forward to more of the suprises.
    I think you need to remember what sort of business this is. Many women really CAN'T handle it. Some women feel they have no choice and wouldn't strip if they didn't have an urgent need for the money (being a single parent, for instance). The reason that she stared in the mirror the whole time might have had nothing to do with her being a bad saleswoman, it might have had more to do with her feeling bad about what she was doing. I've met many, MANY women who have to get buzzed every night to go out there and take their clothes off for strangers.

    I made a friend at my first club who was a very sweet girl but she had a serious drug problem. She got really high one night and broke down crying and telling me that she had to do drugs because she couldn't stand having all those dirty old men look at her and try to touch her. It was heartbreaking. I lost touch but I'm hoping she quit because the job was really destroying her.

    Now, I'm not saying any of this to make anyone feel bad about buying dances. I'm just trying to point out that it seems very condescending to assume that when a stripper makes "mistakes" she's just bad at her job, when in reality she might be someone not cut out for this line of work just trying to cope.

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