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Thread: My customer committed suicide

  1. #1
    Senior Member Luna Louise's Avatar
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    Default My customer committed suicide

    I get a call from one of my good customer's daughter urgently asking me to call her back. I had never met her and didn't know what to think. I was in L.A. working so I got these calls at like 5am due to the time difference. I called her back and she told me that her dad had shot himself. I was totally devastated. I had just talked to him the day before. He asked me to send him a picture message of my smiling face. I sent it to him and he thanked me and told me he had a really bad day. I didn't call him cuz I was shooting all day.

    This guy was a customer that turned into a really awesome friend. He would take me shopping and was always fun to hang with without ever wanting "more". I know he had been dealing with being sick (pancreatic tumor) but was doing much better. I think he found out that he was dying and shot himself. I feel sooo horrible that I didn't call him that night. I'm also angry that he did such a selfish thing because he has kids etc. This experience has been very strange for me. Sorry to vent about something so morbid.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Ouch.

    If it's any help, think of this: in this final dark and unhappy time in his life, you did bring him some happiness/joy/pleasure, however transitory.

    And definitely don't feel any guilt for not calling him, if I'm not mistaken, he didn't even ask you to... suicide is hard to deal with, i feel for you.

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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    You can't really know what a person is really thinking at any given moment. But I am sure he had tears of joy when he received your picture message. At least you gave him joy right before he ended his life.

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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Hey, I'm sorry. I guess you're feeling utterly empty and stunned at the moment.

    I wouldn't blame yourself in the slightest. It looks like this guy liked your company and wasn't looking for anything other than an escape from his troubles during the time he was with you. I'd guess his thoughts of you were only happy ones.

    There's no knowing what happens in the darkness of our own thoughts. Maybe he'd taken a turn for the worst, maybe he had other pressures like money troubles... Who knows?

    But there's little you could have done about it. Had he wanted for you to know about his troubles, he would have told you. Instead, it looks as if you provided a time when he could forget about the clouds hanging over him and smile for a while.

    And he obviously thought kindly of you and told his family members that. Why else would his daughter call you?

    Sorry again...

    Phil.

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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    LL, What a horrible experience, but I absolutely agree with the others who responded. Your friend needed an uplifting messaging from you and you fulfilled his request. Maybe he didn't tell you more because he had made up his mind about what he felt he needed to do. Perhaps it was his way of saying goodbye to someone that brought him smiles thoroughout his life and even at his darkest hour. May pleasant memories of your friendship and pleasant times together be a comfort to you. Warm wishes, Harlow

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Sorry to hear this. It is a shame and I bet you are probably right. Too bad he couldn't hold on. If he had any insurance he negated that by suicide.
    But he went on his terms. You just never know.
    Hugs.

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    Member zoe69's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    I am sorry, to hear, that!!!
    U can never feel responsible, for other people's feelings. U have done nothing wrong, as you had no idea what was going through his mind.
    Pancreatic cancer is one of the most agressive cancers out there.
    Many people, can't imagine going through the suffering.
    It is probably what he wanted, himself. He made a choice, for himself and I belive anyone should respect, that choice.
    My thought are with you and the family!

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    Senior Member Luna Louise's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Thank you guys for the kind words. It was a very strange experience and I'll never really have closure since there is no way to know what was really going on with him.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    This is so sad! Many wishes for all of you during this time. The best that we can hope for is that he is now at peace.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Ugh, that's terrible. It seems to me that you must be a wonderful person, I personally do not think dancers generally go the extra mile to make their customers feel genuinely good about themselves. I'm really sorry for what happened



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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    I'm sorry to hear it, too, and hope you'll find peace in knowing that you gave him an uplift, probably many times, and he thought well of you. Take good care of your heart.
    JK Jim

  12. #12
    Senior Member Lucy in the Sky's Avatar
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    Default Re: My customer committed suicide

    Whenever I hear about these sort of things my first reaction is that I hope a person in that much pain is finally at peace now.

    I don't feel anger, never considered suicide a selfish act per say..it's hard for me to judge someone who was that lost and suffering. Maybe judge is the wrong word to use here but I think most people will get my point anyway.

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