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Thread: Venting/Looking for Advice

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Venting/Looking for Advice

    My boyfriend Noah is friends with this guy named Dylan, who apparently has become obsessed with strip clubs recently. But not in a good way--at least for us. Dylan has this weird thing about wanting to go to strip clubs for like 6 hours and spending--oh--maybe $15 total. He was over here the other night, and I asked him about it, and he isn't looking to have any normal strip club experience. He doesn't want to spend money--he wants to pick up the girls there and get laid. He's into pickup, like Mystery Method--did any of ya'll ever see the first season of The Pickup Artist? In one episode Mystery takes the guys to a strip club to try and pick up a dancer. In the show, Mystery makes a point out of being respectful and decent, and that we're trying to make money, and all of that. But, of course, all of that is just lost on Dylan. And there aren't that many clubs in and around Albany, NY. And it just so happens that the club I work at is the biggest, the cleanest, and has the most girls. And he's talking about coming in and trying to hit on my coworkers.

    I tried to explain to him that we're there to make money, and we don't like guys who are trying to monopolize our time for free. And he was like, "oh, I'm not one of those pussy schlubs that you can take for everything in his wallet, I'm different, and I can make the girls tell that I'm different," and all of that. And I think of all those guys that come up when I'm working--not too often, maybe once or twice a week--and start laying on the compliments-- "Oh, you're the hottest one here, you're so beautiful, you're the sexiest one on stage, I love your NIN tattoo," all that shit, and when I say, "Thank you! Would you like a dance?" they get all pissy and say, "I'm not one of THOSE guys, can't you just fucking take a compliment, I'm not a sucker," blah blah blah.

    And I can't fucking STAND those guys. If there's anything that gets me close to really losing it on a custie, it's those fuckers.

    So now I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to manage my shit if Dylan comes in while I'm on. There's multiple problems with this situation: of course, it's a possibility that he'll be hitting on me really bad (I know he's my boyfriend's friend, but he really seems like that type to me). But that's a different matter I can handle well enough. I'm just wondering how I handle his being a cheap bastard with the other girls--and hopefully, not having to have him kicked out, cause that will cause drama. Any advice?

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    Veteran Member Lovely Ush's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Post a flier with his picture in the dressing room explaining what a PL he is and warning girls not to waste their time! A PL alert!

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    Veteran Member Rockell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Hopefully, he will quickly learn his lesson and get put in his place when he realizes that it's just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN for him. Just tell him to pretend he doesn't know who you are when he's at the club when you're working, that way you'll avoid the embarrassment of being associated with a PL like him.

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Jus think of it this way...you have one up on the other girls. You know he;s there for bs. You avoid him and let all the other girls waste their time.

    Might sound harsh, but it's true. You can't change him, so just take advantage of it.

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Ditto on posting his pic in the dressing room!

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    "oh, I'm not one of those pussy schlubs that you can take for everything in his wallet, I'm different, and I can make the girls tell that I'm different,"
    oh god I think I'm gonna throw up.

    ...and they'll love you for that too buddy. NOT.

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    *HUGS* The only advice I have is to hold your chin, nose, and boobs HIGH and don't let him interfere with your professional/club relationships! Could you talk to the bf, explain, and maybe get him to tell the PL not to show up? Like an "If you show up at my gf's strip club, we're going to have problems." kind of thing? I mean, (on a separate note) does your bf have an issue with his friend showing up at YOUR club - when he knows you work there? Good luck!!
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    Veteran Member Nina77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    Jus think of it this way...you have one up on the other girls. You know he;s there for bs. You avoid him and let all the other girls waste their time.

    Might sound harsh, but it's true. You can't change him, so just take advantage of it.
    Exactly!

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by hl1986 View Post
    Could you talk to the bf, explain, and maybe get him to tell the PL not to show up? Like a "if you show up at my girl's club, we're gonna have problems" kind of thing? I mean, (on a separate note) does your bf have an issue with his friend showing up at YOUR club - when he knows you work there? Good luck!!
    Well, Noah doesn't really have a problem with what I do, but we both know it's very likely that this guy will eventually show up. Dylan knows that I work there, but I suppose he could always claim plausible deniability and say he didn't think I'd be working, etc. He's already said he's definitely going in on amateur night, which I never work--but he also says he likes the slow nights, like Mon. and Tues., which I always work. And Dylan is apparently one of those young drama-kings who loves to gossip about all his guy friends behind their backs, and likes to think every girl wants him, taken or not. So I guess we'll have to see, but I definitely think drama is an inevitable result.

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    I think you are just embarrased that someone you know is a cheapie and you don't want it to reflect badly on you at work. You can't help knowing a cheap idiot though. That's just something that happened. He will probably be bored of it and the girls will figure things out pretty quickly. There is always some cheap weirdo in the club .......... it's just preferable to not know them. ;(

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Haha he sounds like member abcd on here!

    I would give all your girlfriends a heads up. Word travels fast in the club. Give him a reputation as a PL and likely they'll all ignore him.

    Though I love the flier in the dressing room idea.

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    if someone had the nerve to act like that when we were somewhere otc, and was well aware that i dance, they would be shut out- quick. i've done this before to a guy who acted like that. i was a total bitch to him and did a ditch method of excusing myself to go to the bathroom and then ducking out, driving away and not answering phone calls.

    i dont know how you didnt slap that dude for the way he acted... i would have.

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by lovinglady View Post
    i dont know how you didnt slap that dude for the way he acted... i would have.
    Lol, I came pretty close to it, though I'm not a very violent person. I have a feeling that hitting him would cause drama, and that is, after all, the number one thing I'm trying to avoid but maybe one of the girls at work will hit him, and I can point and laugh .

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Can I add to your plight? He is going to name drop all to hell to and tell everyone he talks to that he knows you. I'm sorry.

    I would suggest if you see him just smile politely or say a quick hello and don't sit down with him. If it comes up outside of work tell him you were busy because that is the truth. Sadly there is going to be one or two girls that will fall for his game. Oh well for them. Make a strong point to your BF that you don't want to be involved in this type of drama.

    Good luck I hope this goes well for you. It's annoying but I bet you can handle it.




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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    I agree with the idea of telling the girls you know that he's a time waster. You don't have to tell every girl in the club, if you just tell a few it will get around. Don't go over and talk to him though, because if you do the other girls will see you doing that and might think he has money. You're best bet is to pretty much act like he isn't there... after all you are there to work and make money!
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    the first thing i thought after reading that (well after what a wanker) was if he goes into your club he's going to do the 'i'm not here for dances, i'm a friend of firemaiden04, so i've just come in for a drink and to see her'...proceeds to try his luck!'
    I think the best thing if he comes in is to let people know you do know him you won't be able to convince them otherwise because he will know personal details and it might cause tension between you and your boyfriend, but tell people he's bigging it up. say he's not realy your boyfriends best friend but someone he just went to college/worked with this will be believable because there are so many men trying to class themselves as friends of dancers of knowing dancers, i hear guys all the time telling me they are friends with dancers, I just ask 'oh realy, and how do you know her?' often the answer is 'well from here' to which i just say 'oh so your a customer' and they reluctently admit it others answers are that the dancer has eaten at the restaurant where they've worked etc . Make it look like your just humouring him by saying hello, make it clear he's just there to try and pick up girls but i'm sure if the dancers are anything like me then they will have worked it out in a few seconds, he probably only gets away with this behaviour by going in on slow nights when girls are more prepared to talk for longer in the hope of getting some money when there are less opourtunites,, otherwise he would be in a busy club with no friends and no dancers prepared to talk to him, sipping on a drink looking for a seat being squashed between large groups of friends and he wouldn't be the only pathetic looser doing just that.
    good luck
    x

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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Stripper Hacks View Post
    Can I add to your plight? He is going to name drop all to hell to and tell everyone he talks to that he knows you. I'm sorry.
    ITA! Yes, I strongly bet he'll most definately name drop on you. I have talked with guys who try to run that shit..I know from then on out that 90% is no way they're going to spend money on me or anyone else in the club.







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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Honestly, anyone who is actually interested in making money off him will pick up on the fact that he's not spending and move on. The girls that are there to make money will see right through him. I wouldn't be too worried about the them, although I'm adding my vote to the flyer in the dressing room.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Haha he sounds like member abcd on here!

    I would give all your girlfriends a heads up. Word travels fast in the club. Give him a reputation as a PL and likely they'll all ignore him.

    Though I love the flier in the dressing room idea.
    I was just thinking the same thing.

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    Senior Member hazel_eyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Tell management that he is an ex who is stalking you and has been making threats... that should get him kicked out. It's extreme, but if he can't respect you enough to stay the hell out of your club, I'd do it.
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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by hazel_eyes View Post
    Tell management that he is an ex who is stalking you and has been making threats... that should get him kicked out. It's extreme, but if he can't respect you enough to stay the hell out of your club, I'd do it.
    Nice advice. If he shows up, he's definitely being disrespectful, not only towards you, but towards ALL the dancers who are AT WORK, to MAKE MONEY.

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    Veteran Member lexi2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovely Ush View Post
    Post a flier with his picture in the dressing room explaining what a PL he is and warning girls not to waste their time! A PL alert!
    Bwahaha. PuhLEASE do this ... at least so I can live vicariously through you!
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    Default Re: Venting/Looking for Advice

    I like the flier idea too!

    Can you talkto boyfriend and have him lay the smack down as was previously suggested?

    If you worked at an office building how rude would it be for him to show up there to hit on women? So in all seriousness it does not matter where you work or what you do, this guy has no common decency and is risking your job (as in comfort, friendships) for his own gain.

    Even if this was a decent human being - I think it's rude to show up someones place of employment uninvited and keep them from making moeny and make the other co workers feel uncomfortable.

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