Just looking for some conversation....and some feedback/support maybe....
I was in the midst of becoming a bad alcoholic, and realized that it was the last club that I worked at that was helping to make me that way. I would have to drink so much just to get through the doors, then drink even more when I got there just to be able to handle the customers. It was getting to the point where I was putting down the equivalent to probably 3 bottles of wine a night. My last night there, which was the Tuesday before Xmas, I did 4 glasses at home, then once I got there I think I drank anywhere between 8-10 glasses. I was so fucked up, I still remember everything (no matter how much I drink I never black out) but I remember feeling almost like I was out of my body at one point cause I was just so messed up. And all for what? I walked out with $150 dollars and put up with rude, disgusting perverts all night.
I NEVER drink like that, EVER, on my own time OTC. The only time I do is when I go to that place. I had a hangover for two days, and it wasn't pretty. I haven't been back to the club since, so it's been a little over two weeks. I have drank twice since then, once on New Years (but it was just champagne), then I had a very small amount of sake with dinner but didn't even get a buzz.
I haven't even had the desire to drink!!! I feel so much healthier, my head feels clearer...
I have made a solemn vow to myself to never return to that club, because of what I have to do to myself to be there. I cannot destroy myself for that craphole and it's craptastic customers.
Heres the problem: I have been on a mad job hunt for the past two weeks as well, and nothing seems to be coming through. We have enough money in the bank to last maybe another week. Even if I find a job, there will still be a lag in pay, so I am definitely gonna have to strip sometime in the next two weeks. I am NOT gonna go to my old club, but I am gonna work up in Phoenix with my sister. I am kinda scared that I will fall into the trap of drinking too much, so I am trying to think of ways that I can control it. I know I will be quite nervous, cause I hadn't danced in weeks.
Anyone else here had a hiatus from stripping cause of the same reason? and when you went back, how did you handle it?
Thx everyone



Reply With Quote

Bookmarks