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Thread: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

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    Senior Member lolalolita's Avatar
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    Question How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Ok, so basically due to financial reasons, I have to strip, but on top of that, I really really want to strip. The finances are; I don't have a car to get to work (i'm currently borrowing my boyfriend's car and it's inconveniencing everybody) and I also don't really have a place to live (i'm staying with my boyfriend's ex-stepdad, which is super akward and I hate it). I'm a fiercly independant person and I loathe having to be supported like I am, stripping would entitle me to the funds in which I could purchase my own volkswagen bus and live in it. Ok, i'm sort of a hippie, so?
    Now, i've known i've wanted to somehow work in the sex industry since I was a little girl. The first time I ever saw a stripper on TV I was awed and amazed. I also have an unhealthy appertite for shoes and cute skanky outfits, ha.
    So basically, I want to be a stripper and nothing can stop me.
    However, I also have a somewhat protective boyfriend. Passive protective I guess...? He's a pisces if you know anything about astrology (and i'm a leo) I have brought up the idea of me stripping in a somewhat joking manner a few months ago and he didn't seem keen on the idea. Also, recently I told him that I had nude-cammed before and he got really angry, even though we weren't even dating at the time (we were taking a break from eachother) which is really hypocritical of him because hey, atleast I didn't fuck everybody and their mother like he did. /Whoops, getting off track on a rant here, sorry.
    How would you ladies suggest that I break the news to him? I figured if I ask him permision before even auditioning he would immediately condone me, and I would never get the chance. One idea I had was to already audtion, but not work yet, and then tell him. Then I would already have the job and it would be harder for him to stop me.
    I guess I could just strip behind his back, but I know it would eventually come back to bite me, so it's probably not the best idea.

    So, if you could please help me out, I would be eternally thankful.

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    Member stormfaery5's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Oh my, a pisces!?! The guy I'm involved with is also a pisces and I am an aries. You and I are both fire signs so I think I have a feeling about how your relationship is with him. Do you feel like he holds you back? That's how I'm feeling right now with my guy. I feel suffocated. Pisces has a way of doing that with fire signs. I think you should tell him that you want to get into stripping. Don't ask him. Its your decision. Tell him you two can sit down and set some guidelines about what you can and can't do at the club. That way he might feel a little more comfortable with the whole idea since he will feel like he has some control over the situation. If he doesn't want you to strip at all, I guess you'll have to choose what you want more. You said in your post that "I want to be a stripper and nothing can stop me" so if breaking up with your guy has to happen in order to fullfill your dream, then thats what you have to do. Do you really want to be with someone who is jealous and possessive anyway? I am in a very similar situation. I want to start stripping, and I know for sure my guy won't go for it. He already has told me exactly what he thinks of strippers, and its nothing good. And if for some reason he did stay with me after I started dancing, he would be harrassing me about it constantly. So I know what I have to do. Is there any one else's car you can borrow in case you have to leave him? If not, maybe you should get a job he approves of until you have enough money to get your own place and car and then start stripping after you are no longer dependent on him. Tough situation, best of luck to you.

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    Senior Member lolalolita's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Quote Originally Posted by stormfaery5 View Post
    Oh my, a pisces!?! The guy I'm involved with is also a pisces and I am an aries. You and I are both fire signs so I think I have a feeling about how your relationship is with him. Do you feel like he holds you back? That's how I'm feeling right now with my guy. I feel suffocated.
    Omg, that is eactly how I am feeling with him right now! I've been dating him for three years now, so I don't think I can up and leave him for stripping, so i'm really going to have to go with your advice to lay some rules down. Ah, that's so helpful, thank you!
    It's crazy with him, half the time he drives me crazy, but they other half of the time i'm madly in love with him!
    Oh, my rising sign is an aries, so we might even have a little more in common, ha~

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    If I were you, I would only tell my boyfriend AFTER I had ALREADY started stripping, IF I decided I liked it and wanted to keep doing it. Because really, you won't know what it's like until you start doing it. And you might work a few shifts to find that you don't like it. In which case, you would have cause stress to the relationship for nothing.

    I don't like to advocate being deceitful, but I also think you shouldn't make serious decisions about your relationship before you actually know what you're getting into, and are certain that it's the right thing for you.

    edit: I just saw that you're 19--which means you've been with your bf since you were 16? I would dump him, simply because it sounds like you two are growing into very different people, anyway.

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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    I totally disagree with doing it behind his back first, and then telling him about it afterwards, because why should you disrespect yourself by turning into a liar for him? If it's something you really want to do, let him know. Tell him it's not like most guys think it is, and you aren't some slut out to grind every cock out there--that it's not always an unhealthy or toxic thing. And you could invite him to go to a strip club with you, and he can see it's not a lot of whores and prostitutes. If he starts throwing shit into your face, it might be time to contemplate the future of the relationship, because if this is a dream of yours, then most likely, consciously or not, you will grow to resent him for preventing you from doing this. My boyfriend loves that I'm a stripper, not for it's own sake, but because he knows it's been a dream of mine for a long time, and he loves that I'm pursuing my dream. If your boyfriend is so narrow-minded that he thinks there's something wrong or gross about having this kind of dream, then once again, time to think about the relationship.

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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    I think you need to evaluate the importance of your relationship with him. If he is holding you back in this, chances are he will hold you back in other things. Are you really okay with that? Yes, it's the "adult" industry, but is he uncomfortable with other people watching his girl, or is he jealous of you being successful? Before you even get too far down this path you need to figure that out... then figure out if dancing is the right choice for you.
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    Senior Member curvycutie817's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Quote Originally Posted by winged dinghy View Post
    if i were you, i would only tell my boyfriend after i had already started stripping, if i decided i liked it and wanted to keep doing it. Because really, you won't know what it's like until you start doing it. And you might work a few shifts to find that you don't like it. In which case, you would have cause stress to the relationship for nothing.

    I don't like to advocate being deceitful, but i also think you shouldn't make serious decisions about your relationship before you actually know what you're getting into, and are certain that it's the right thing for you.

    Edit: I just saw that you're 19--which means you've been with your bf since you were 16? I would dump him, simply because it sounds like you two are growing into very different people, anyway.
    i completly agree with this.
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    Member wikidlittlegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Don't do it behind his back. All you are doing is giving him ammunition to prove that what you are doing is wrong. (i.e. See! you already lied to me!) You are nineteen and still very young. I am only 22, and am already a completely different person then I was at 19. Don't let this boy call the shots for you. You yourself said that you were independent. A relationship should mean that both people are on equal grounds and equals don't ask each other for permission. I would approach him and say that there is something important that you need to speak with him about and ask if now is a good time. If he says yes, go into what you want to do. Make it clear that you are telling him out of respect for him, you are not asking his permission. If the discussion starts to turn into an argument walk away, and try again later. be careful not to go into it expecting him to be a jerk and shoot you down, even if he is, because it will cause you to defensive and jumpy. Good luck!
    When it comes down to it, I'll let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better then them.

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    Member zoe69's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    While, I would never advocate, into Stripping behind your boyfriends back.
    I belive the most important thing for you to do is, to look into the reality of you situation. Considering, that you don't have a car and that you live, with your boyfriends ex stepfather. ( Don't know how you releitionship with him is) Your best bet would be getting the job first. See if you like it or not and what potential income you will be getting. Arange yourself a way out in case the confrontaition goes wrong! That way, you will also be able to stay true to yourself and not heaving to submit yourself, to your boyfriends demands, for heaving circumstances on his side.
    Last edited by zoe69; 01-13-2009 at 11:55 AM.

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    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to tell your boyfriend you want to strip.

    Sit him down and simply tell him "I,m giong to strip." See what he says. BTW i,m serious. cut the B.S. See what he says.
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