Last night I was doing a lap dance. I had my back to the customer for a few minutes, then I turned back around and straddled him. Something didn't feel right; something was poking me in the crotch. Something warm and smooth and insistent.
the dude's penis was out. poking me in my groin. about an inch away from penetrating me.
I leaped off his lap and ran out of there yelling, "NO! NO!" I told the bouncer and the guy got thrown out.
Then I had to go on stage and I just wanted to cry.
Afterwards, I went into the dressing room to recuperate and the manager told me I needed to get on the floor.
I called my best friend and she said she was sleeping and I woke her up. So I didn't have anyone to tell. I felt so alone and violated and angry and hurt.
so I just sat by myself on the floor, did my stage rotations. At the end of my shift, I went in my car and cried, like, a snotty, gut-wrenching, heaving, cry, and called a crisis hotline so i would have somebody to vent to.
What bothered me, and what bothers me still, was the fact that my best friend (when she DID finally talk to me) and the counselor at the hotline both kept saying, "Well, that goes with the territory." When they said that, I felt blamed--like they were saying, in a way, "I told you so." As though this was my fault because I'm a stripper. As though I should EXPECT to be sexually assaulted, and that I have no right to complain when it does. And the counselor kept telling me that she hears "much worse." I don't care what else she hears! That has no bearing on the crisis I'm experiencing!
I felt almost more hurt by the way my friend and the counselor reacted to the violation than the violation itself.



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