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Thread: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

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    Member amandelicious's Avatar
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    Default I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    I got into pole dancing for fitness, lost about 30lbs and decided I loved the confidence and energy it gave me. I've been teaching now for almost a year and I've had several students get good paying jobs in SC's in the area. I have never thought about stripping in the past, but my husband has been unemployed for about four months now and I'm at my wit's end. We simply can't survive on my salary. There are clubs about 20 mins away... but we know so many people in the area that I'm sure I'd be discovered. There are more clubs about 80 miles away... I suppose I could do amature contests... with less likelyhood I'm recognised...

    Cons:
    I'm married and my husband would freak out...
    I work for a family oriented business and would most likely be fired if they found out...
    I'm not sure how safe it would actually be... plus what happens when the SC and RL collide?

    Pros:
    It would be great motivation to stay in stellar shape
    I definatly know how to do pole tricks
    MONEY
    Having fun hustling and flirting


    As you can see, I'm really torn. I jokingly gave him a deadline "find a job by your b-day or I'm entering amature contests" The only problem is that his b-day is in two weeks and his prospects don't look great...

    What do you ladies think? Has stripping ever cost you a relationship? Have you ever snuck around to strip? Do you think it would be worth it?
    amandelicious; sweet, fine but vicious

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    I don't think anyone would condone lying to your SO about stripping. It's never a good idea and someone ALWAYS finds out.

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    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    NEVER NEVER NEVER lie about your job to the people you love. They will find out , and they will hate you for ruining there trust.
    Have a heart to heart. Sit down and explain why you think you need to , and ask for a ''trial run.'' Tell him you just want to try it , and see if its a option for you all.
    If he is not ok with it , don't do it. ITs not worth losing a good man over. And you might find out that you hate dancing or its just not for you anyway. Your looking to break into the biz during a really rough time right now.
    Did I read that right that your DH isn't working? If thats true , thats BS. Tell him its his job to support you all , you will help all you can , but if he can't find work , or won't work , or whatever , he cannot judge you for supporting your family any way you see fit.
    Good luck to you.

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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    agreed... you need to be straight with him. I lied to my roomate about it when i first started... thankfully it wasn't a disaster when he found out... (he was a bit shocked / angry...but he is only my roomate after all... i imagine a husband would feel much differently)

    I would say this though... don't think stripping is gonna instantly sort you out financially. things are HARD everywhere at the moment... and unless you really are blessed with a silver tongue... it takes quite a while to perfect the art of the hustle....
    i thought it would sort me out... it hasn't
    it is one of the most physically demanding and emotionally demanding jobs ever... and THE ONLY reason i am sticking with it is because it gives me a bit more time to focus on my true passion... music....


    think long and hard about it.... give it a go if your husband approves and you really are sure... but just remember the money doesn't flow as easily as most think!


    best of luck

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    Agree with the girls,tell him to get off his ass and get a job.But whatever you do,please don't lie,it will be discovered sooner than later and will cause great unnecessary conflicts.

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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    unless you signed some sort of contract isnt what you do in your spare time not your job's business?

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    Newbie Taylor09's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    I definitely agree with all the replies so far...talk to your husband & make sure he is on board before starting to dance. I was into pole dancing first as well but I had always been curious about dancing as a job. When I sat my husband down to talk about it and ask how he would feel, he was surprisingly supportive, knowing that it was something I wanted to do. I will say, the money doesn't come as easily as you would expect...like someone above already said...

    But if you are sure you want to do it and your hubby ends up being okay with it, then good luck!

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    I would definetely let him know what you are thinking. Tell him you are seriously worried about your finances, and maybe just suggest it as a trial run until he finds a job. If he accepts, it may be motivation for him to find a job, but you will have to be prepared to quit if he does find a job soon, which would be hard if u enjoyed dancing. Do Not Lie! Dancing without his knowledge is not OK in any relationship, especially marriage.

    Is your hubby actively looking for a job?

    I am married and I used to dance (I'm pregnant right now, so I'll return to dancing later). My hubby is cool with it and very supportive, but I was dancing PRIOR to our meeting, so he met me as a dancer and knew what he was getting into. I would not dance if your hubby is really uncomfortable with it unless you are prepared to give up your marriage,
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    Hey hon, try not to cross post on here. It can get confusing for those of us who think we've responded and end up answering twice. My answer is on your other thread:

    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=130234
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    Veteran Member Flaka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    Your suggestions are great irelynx! I would also try to get more dance students and advertise yourself as a pole dancer for events. I also teach pole dance and in my opinion it's much easier than dancing in a club. You don't have to be in tip top shape all the time, you don't have to deal with asshole men, and you don't have to compete with other hot women!

    I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. Now that I haven't been dancing in a while, it's nearly impossible to get my SO to feel comfortable with me dancing again, so i'm putting more effort into my pole dance teaching. It's just not worth the arguments and accusations if you did start working while your husband's not ok with it.

    Another idea, and I know I'll be bitched at for this, is to just go dance whether he likes it or not, and then stack up your money and show him. It may make him reconsider. Again, I don't think this is that great of an idea, and it is hard to earn money in the club, but it just might nudge him more towards the idea of dancing.

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I want to start dancing... how do I tell my husband?

    You listed a few REALLY GOOD reasons not to strip.

    You listed a few REALLY BAD reasons to destroy your marriage.

    Based upon *your own list of pros and cons* this is a really simple decision - or at least it should be. The fact that you are torn on this (and some of the other things you wrote) leads me to think you glamorize stripping. Please speak to some dancers who have been at it for a while, not new girls who took your class and just got a job. Talk to dancers with experience and you may find that your impression of what its like to be a stripper doesn't line up with reality.

    Stripping can be a great stepping stone for some people, but you are not in that phase of life. You are lying to yourself if you have decided that this is the only way to keep your family financially solvent. Find a solution that is right for you and your family, and you will all be much happier in the long run.

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