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Thread: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

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    Member stormfaery5's Avatar
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    Default Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Last night I went to amateur night basically to audition for a club I've been wanting to dance for. It's taken me awhile to work up the nerve to do this but I finally went through with it. I had a blast up on stage!! And made $60 in tips. I felt so proud of myself. I didn't win, but the manager called me into his office and offered me a job!!! Of course I took it because this is what I've been wanting to try for some time now. Well... my father has known about this and isn't totally comfortable with it but supports me anyway. But my sister is another story. I told my father to relay the exciting news to my sister and her husband and she totally FREAKED OUT!! My dad said she told him that she doesn't want me in her house or to see her again. My sister is so close to me. She's my best friend. I love her more than anyone. I don't know what to do. I know this is her problem right? But I don't want to lose my sister. Should I not take the job? What would you do?

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Well it is really sad doing something that excites you and makes you happy has driven such a wedge between you and your sister. As much as you love her and as close as you two are,you can't give up your dream or what you want to do based as her negative preconceived notion of what being a dancer is. Perhaps you can,after the smoke clears,engage her in a conversation about what it is about dancing that bothers her and where and how did she get these ideas. Has she ever been to a gentleman's club? You have to do what you need to do for you. If the relationship is what it should be, I believe she'll come around. Warmest Wishes,Harlow
    Curiousity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought him back.

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    Member stormfaery5's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Well apparantly she wasn't serious about not speaking to me because she called me this morning. She does have a personal grudge against strip clubs. Her husband actually used to go without her knowing and had gotten a girl's email and was talking to her behind my sister's back. She said she is hurt that I would do something that I know upsets her so much and it's going to be hard to see me because she will constantly be thinking about the painful memories with her husband. She said she doesn't know why I would want to do something that brings so much pain to people. She doesn't understand the joy it can bring people too. I told her that it's not the dancer's fault for causing pain in a relationship, its the guys fault for being there if he knows it would hurt his wife or girlfriend. But she says that if there were no dancers, then there wouldn't be anywhere for those guys to go. She thinks its trashy and there are better ways to make money. I wasn't planning on doing this really long term, just long enough to get caught up on some bills and get a savings account going. The money is really attractive to me. I know it is my sister's issue because she had a bad personal experience. Would it be unfair to myself to call it quits as to not hurt her? Or would it be selfish to continue doing it knowing it hurts her?

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    Member fitnessromi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Bottom line is you have to live your life!It is very unfortunate what happened to your sis,but it was the guys fault! Maybe you can change the way your sis feels about strippers by being one yourself,maybe then she can see that most of us are just normal women,not women trying to take other peoples men.It could actually be theraputic for her.Even strippers get double crossed by their men with women that work at Walmart,"for instance" but Im sure we wouldnt stop going there!Im sorry shes having a hard time with it!

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    Veteran Member Ruby Ruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by stormfaery5 View Post
    d. But she says that if there were no dancers, then there wouldn't be anywhere for those guys to go.
    except for brothels, on dates with other women, and porn. are any of those better?
    "If she wants to dance and drink all night, well there's no one that can stop her. She's going til the house lights come up or her stomach spills onto the floor. This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over, worked all week long, and now the music is playing on our time. Yeah we do what we do to get by, and then we need a release!" - Against Me!, "Thrash Unreal"

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Most of my family basically stopped talking to me for awhile after I started stripping...but they're slowly warming up to it. They see that my job hasn't changed me negatively, that it's making me completely independent, and that I'm an all-around better/happier person because of it. Generally, once you assuage their fears by NOT doing what they think you're going to do (i.e. start a drug habit or conform to the stripper stereotype), family becomes more okay with it the job.

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    My family wasn't thrilled either. I agree with Chalie61. Some times it just takes time to show them you aren't going to become a cracked out whore, just because you are a stripper. As for her issues with her husband, gently remind her that that was one stripper and one situation and that men have questionable relationships with office workers, fast food workers and all other types of employed (and unemployed) women. Its the woman that makes the decision, not the job.
    When it comes down to it, I'll let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better then them.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    ^^ Well said!

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by stormfaery5 View Post
    she says that if there were no dancers, then there wouldn't be anywhere for those guys to go.
    Ruby got it right! I've said it before and I'll say it again. I would rather be with a guy that would go to a strip club to form a "relationship" with a dancer - at least then I know all she really wants is his money! Plus the majority of girls in the clubs won't sleep with the guys from the clubs.

    If he went out to a regular dance club/bar, the chances are that not only would he have gotten the girl's e-mail address, but also her phone number and possibly even laid the same night. Your sister needs to re-evaluate things and look at the other side of the coin.

    Plus, saying there shouldn't be dancers for that reason is about as dumb as saying there shouldn't be such a thing as marriage because then people couldn't cheat. It just is a way to avoid something rather than fix it.
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Plus, saying there shouldn't be dancers for that reason is about as dumb as saying there shouldn't be such a thing as marriage because then people couldn't cheat. It just is a way to avoid something rather than fix it.
    Well said!! Thanks for all your support!!

    You know, this whole thing is so discouraging. I was so happy and proud of myself for landing my first job at a club and nobody can be happy for me. My sis and a couple of my guy friends keep telling me that it's trashy and that "I can do better." I don't know how to respond to this. They almost have me second guessing myself. *sigh*

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by stormfaery5 View Post
    Well said!! Thanks for all your support!!

    You know, this whole thing is so discouraging. I was so happy and proud of myself for landing my first job at a club and nobody can be happy for me. My sis and a couple of my guy friends keep telling me that it's trashy and that "I can do better." I don't know how to respond to this. They almost have me second guessing myself. *sigh*
    Probably 99.9% of strippers have gone through this with someone. I hid my secret from most of my family (except my older sister, since I lived with her), for about a year. I had a job that made me feel more independent and confident than anything I'd ever done in my life, and I couldn't share it with anyone. And, once my family found out, no one could be happy for me.

    Why is it that our society divides us up into "private parts" and "other parts"? Would your family be happy if you were a runway model? I see very little difference between modeling and stripping (depending on contact levels). Furthermore, how much do 'professional' actresses get paid to be intimate with other people on video, for the entire world to see? The lines are very blurry between stripping and many other professions. Except I find the sex industry to be much more accepting of different body types, personalities, etc. We have a lot more agency than, say, models...who are supposed to be seen and not heard.

    If you're doing something you love, then be confident with it. Make sure you have a support system of people who could recognize if your job starts changing you in a negative way (drugs, cockiness, etc.). Aside from that, you'll just have to give most people time to get used to the idea.

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    Senior Member brazenpeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    I love the women on here. I love the support and encouragement you give to each other. I just appreciate the girls here.
    Be who you are, say what you mean. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter."

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    ^^ Yeah...this site definitely makes me feel more sane. We deal with a lot of shit in our jobs that even people who support us just can't understand. Use this as your support group!!

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Quote Originally Posted by stormfaery5 View Post
    I told her that it's not the dancer's fault for causing pain in a relationship, its the guys fault for being there if he knows it would hurt his wife or girlfriend. But she says that if there were no dancers, then there wouldn't be anywhere for those guys to go. She thinks its trashy and there are better ways to make money.
    I'd like to see a job out there where I can start and immediately be making as much money as I make now, without a college degree or a perfect work history, and only working like three nights a week. Seriously, show it to me. I mean, we don't do this for our health (though I've never met a girl who hasn't become healthier after doing this job, if they mind their drinking and stay away from the drugs). If we got paid minimum wage for this, most of us wouldn't do it, partly because there is such a stereotype and it wouldn't be worth it. I mean, when I work, I average more hourly than my Mom, who is a manager at Southwest Airlines and recently capped out her salary at about $30/hr, after working there for about 15 years. She was a little disapproving about what I do, but when I showed her the records I keep of my earnings, she kind of changed her tune.

    And it sucks that your sister's husband was a douche, but that makes about as much sense as hating every woman on earth because your ex cheated on you once. Men invented the stripper stereotype, because that's what they'd like to believe--that we're all sluts who will do anything for money, and who lie and cheat and steal, and have filthy drug habits. Those kind of men just prefer to believe that because they actually feel guilty about their addictions, and don't want to believe we're just normal people--they want us to be vipers and whores. Some men have healthier opinions of us, and those are the customers who aren't pushing for weird shit and who don't have guilt issues. We provide a fantasy--nothing else. And your sister is playing right into that trap of encouraging the stripper stereotype, because that takes some of the pressure of her husband. Try to explain that we really are just normal people. Some strippers might be prostitutes and sluts...but a LOT more regular women are prostitutes and sluts. And I agree with taking her to a club, and then maybe she'll understand.

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Haha...there was a stripper on "The Office" once.

    "Have you ever actually SEEN a stripper?"

    She shows up to the office for the bachelor party in a totally normal sweatsuit.

    Fabulous. Yay for accurate representations!

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    Default Re: Just got hired at my first club! Told my sister and now she won't speak to me...

    Awww... that sucks.

    Your sister shouldn't blame dancers for what her husband did. He's a full-grown man who can make his own decisions, and HE's the one who decided to stay in contact with a dancer. And she needs to understand that you (her own sister, who she knows and loves) didn't get this job in order to hurt people.

    If dancing's what you want to do, you should continue despite what anyone says. After some time I'm sure she'll begin to come around. Especially since you guys are close.

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