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Thread: Girls trying to get under my skin...

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    Default Girls trying to get under my skin...

    This is kinda long....I've been working at my club for about 8 months, and I make pretty good money there. I'm the top earner on many nights, and usually in the top 3 on most nights. (I know this because our friction monitor tells me every time.) I don't talk about the money I make at work, but I've told a couple of girls who I'm comfortable with after being asked how much I usually make. So now, of course, everyone knows, and it's beginning to backfire. There's this one girl who blows nearly everyone out of the water earnings-wise who seems determined to break me, either by snagging well-spending customers from me when I take a bathroom break, (she literally watches me like a hawk with these guys, and a few seconds after I leave she walks up, grabs them by the arm, and drags them back for a dance, according to one bartender/witness,) or she tries to attack me psychologically. For example, one night a couple weeks ago I was sitting with a wealthy customer who wanted to do a room together, but before I could go upstairs I was called to the dressing room for something, and when i got back there she was on his arm. He ends up taking us both upstairs for a half hour, during which she straddles him like a fucking horse the entire time, preventing me from getting close to him, and makes out with him. Anyway, he pretty much kicks me to the curb and keeps her for another hour. So last night I'm getting ready to go on the floor when she walks up to me and says, "Hey, Eric was back last night. It's too bad you weren't here, I took 3 other girls up with me and we all stayed up there for 2 hours and I made him tip us $100 each. I made sure we all made good money off of him." I fell right for her trick and said something like, "Oh man that sucks, i wish I could have been here!" Then she just smiled wickedly and walked out, at which point I realized what she was trying to do. This is just one example of one girl, but there have been many other occasions recently with other girls screwing me out of dances and straight butting in when I'm talking to customers. I don't know what to do, because I'm a very non-confrontational person and one of the 'nice" girls at work, but I don't like being taken advantage of. I have no idea how to handle this situation, other than just trying to ignore it and keep my head up and make my money, but so far that has not gotten me anywhere but frustrated and discouraged. Should I try to be more assertive and tell these girls to back off? Or should I start being just as rude and cunning as they are, and "play the game"? I need advice!

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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    When a girl sits with my customer while I'm in the bathroom and I know that she saw me sitting with him first, I just go back to the table, put my stuff down in front of the girl and say "I'm back. Thanks for keeping my seat warm!" with no sarcasm.

    If a girl straight butts in when I'm talking to someone, I say "Would you excuse us please? We were in the middle of a conversation."

    If this girl is pulling that shit all the time, I would call her out on it in private and see what she has to say. If that didn't help, then I'd go to management and also let them know that she's making out with people in the vip rooms. If they won't do anything about it, then I'd say you're justified in using whatever tactics you want to stop cutthroat girls from messing with you.
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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by Emiloo View Post
    For example, one night a couple weeks ago I was sitting with a wealthy customer who wanted to do a room together, but before I could go upstairs I was called to the dressing room for something, and when i got back there she was on his arm. He ends up taking us both upstairs for a half hour, during which she straddles him like a fucking horse the entire time, preventing me from getting close to him, and makes out with him. Anyway, he pretty much kicks me to the curb and keeps her for another hour.
    I had that same thing happen to me last week...
    soooo frustrating! especially when you know the guy has money and most likely would have taken both of you for another hour anyway had the other girl toned it down a bit...

    sorry to hear you're having to deal with so much shit...
    jealousy really is a horrible thing

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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by likewow View Post
    In that situation I would have smiled broadly and said very sincerely, "Wow, that is really great! I'm so happy for you!" and just walked away, still smiling. Do this enough and she'll get tired of needling you. It's just plain old not fun to harass someone who does not produce the desired reaction. If she persists and gets more bold, for example saying, "You really missed out," just say, "Oh, there's enough to go around. Sure it would have been nice but I'm glad you and the others did well." Never give these girls their desired reaction!
    That's great advice. I'm a pretty non-confrontational person like the OP and it gave me grief all through high school. I wish I had thought of it in these terms before. Kill them with kindness! Thanks for the fresh take on how to handle it
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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by likewow View Post
    In that situation I would have smiled broadly and said very sincerely, "Wow, that is really great! I'm so happy for you!" and just walked away, still smiling. Do this enough and she'll get tired of needling you. It's just plain old not fun to harass someone who does not produce the desired reaction. If she persists and gets more bold, for example saying, "You really missed out," just say, "Oh, there's enough to go around. Sure it would have been nice but I'm glad you and the others did well." Never give these girls their desired reaction!
    This is right, just kill them with kindness. They'll get sick of you being perky and back off. I would have added something like "oh, that's great. I'll catch him the next time he's in." - smile and walk off.
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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    This is why you NEVER tell anyone dollar amounts. I always limit it to "I had a good day." "I did fine" or "Eh, today was kinda crappy." Otherwise, girls talk and all you get are haters.

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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    I've had to pull girls aside and call them out and when they didn't get the hint I went to management. Management doesn't tolerate that crap.

    I keep to myself but if someone is deliberately messing with me, and it is rare, I'll say something to them.

    If a girl sits down while your with a custy I always ask her if he owes her some money and if he does have them settle. If he doesn't I ask her to come back later when were done.

    One of the first things I learned as a stripper was to not be cut-throat. So sorry to hear that is what is going on with you. I too have one girl that is always competing with me and a few of the other girls. Damned annoying.




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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by chris91 View Post
    When a girl sits with my customer while I'm in the bathroom and I know that she saw me sitting with him first, I just go back to the table, put my stuff down in front of the girl and say "I'm back. Thanks for keeping my seat warm!" with no sarcasm.
    That works?! I bet if I tried this she would just sit there and look at me funny lol

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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    This is all great advice, thank you ladies! I like the kill em with kindness idea...I think it would work a lot better for me than being aggressive, which goes against my nature. I think I could use that in the "bathroom-break snagger" situation as well.

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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by Meleania View Post
    That works?! I bet if I tried this she would just sit there and look at me funny lol
    It works for me. If she's sitting in his lap, I'll say "thanks for keeping HIM warm for me". And if the girl just looks at me funny or tries to ignore me, I'll say it again and offer my hand to help her up. That's pretty hard to ignore without looking like a giant bitch. Especially if you say it loud enough for the customer to hear.
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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Quote Originally Posted by Emiloo View Post
    This is kinda long....I've been working at my club for about 8 months, and I make pretty good money there. I'm the top earner on many nights, and usually in the top 3 on most nights. (I know this because our friction monitor tells me every time.) I don't talk about the money I make at work, but I've told a couple of girls who I'm comfortable with after being asked how much I usually make. So now, of course, everyone knows, and it's beginning to backfire. There's this one girl who blows nearly everyone out of the water earnings-wise who seems determined to break me, either by snagging well-spending customers from me when I take a bathroom break, (she literally watches me like a hawk with these guys, and a few seconds after I leave she walks up, grabs them by the arm, and drags them back for a dance, according to one bartender/witness,) or she tries to attack me psychologically. For example, one night a couple weeks ago I was sitting with a wealthy customer who wanted to do a room together, but before I could go upstairs I was called to the dressing room for something, and when i got back there she was on his arm. He ends up taking us both upstairs for a half hour, during which she straddles him like a fucking horse the entire time, preventing me from getting close to him, and makes out with him. Anyway, he pretty much kicks me to the curb and keeps her for another hour. So last night I'm getting ready to go on the floor when she walks up to me and says, "Hey, Eric was back last night. It's too bad you weren't here, I took 3 other girls up with me and we all stayed up there for 2 hours and I made him tip us $100 each. I made sure we all made good money off of him." I fell right for her trick and said something like, "Oh man that sucks, i wish I could have been here!" Then she just smiled wickedly and walked out, at which point I realized what she was trying to do. This is just one example of one girl, but there have been many other occasions recently with other girls screwing me out of dances and straight butting in when I'm talking to customers. I don't know what to do, because I'm a very non-confrontational person and one of the 'nice" girls at work, but I don't like being taken advantage of. I have no idea how to handle this situation, other than just trying to ignore it and keep my head up and make my money, but so far that has not gotten me anywhere but frustrated and discouraged. Should I try to be more assertive and tell these girls to back off? Or should I start being just as rude and cunning as they are, and "play the game"? I need advice!

    Recently I have had the girls AND the management conspire against me....and, taking a step back and looking at the situation, you KNOW you are better than that. Then even acknowledging the other dancer or giving her any type of response. Just be a stuck up beotch and ignore her. Walk off as if you didn't hear her, if thats possible...
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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    Default Re: Girls trying to get under my skin...

    Then *dont* even acknowledge her...
    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You can say that again.. not just on here but men in general. Guys are so damn lame, the only way they can halfway make up for it is by opening their wallets.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Tools

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