Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Austin, TX
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    Greetings SW,

    I'm recruiting an exotic dancer to run for the U.S. House of Representatives for the 25th district of Texas (Austin). You would be the candidate and I would manage your campaign. Read on if you're interested.

    Why do I want to do this:
    1) Our primary objective is to win the seat. This seat (with an urban core and substantial rural areas) epitomizes the type of seat that is a reach, but is winnable. Winning these type of districts is essential to any future governing majority.

    In addition to that, the incumbent Congressman is a real piece of work. In order to win as a Republican when you need substantial votes in South and East Austin, you have to do something unconventional to make that happen.

    That "something unconventional" would be you.

    2) In addition to being a serious local campaign, our effort will double as a national publicity stunt to move under 30 men (and some women with a sense of humor) rightward using the one thing guaranteed to get their attention. Let's not kid ourselves, the GOP got killed in the 18-29 year old crowd; you can help bring them back before we lose our country.

    I intend to achieve this by producing regular web videos on public policy topics (starting with Medical Care) while candidate looks super hot in some way relevant to the topic at hand. Examples include:

    - Dressing like a sexy nurse for Health Care
    - Dressing like a Van Halen style teacher for Education and School Choice
    - Sitting on a dirty old man's lap when talking about Social Security

    As the web videos earn our campaign a cult following, we intend to leverage the Web Videos into controversial earned media appearances!

    Most men are easily manipulated by beautiful women (of course, if you're on this website, you already knew that!). Let's use that to our electoral advantage!

    3) This is all part of a longer term objective of moving the broader culture to the right. Liberals hold a monopoly on the culture and we need to break it. As Rush said a few weeks ago:

    "if conservatives do not find a way to dent the pop culture, it isn't going to matter what happens in Washington. It's unrealistic to expect that every bit of entertainment culture the American people are exposed to is a hundred percent dyed-in-the-wool liberal and then expecting on Election Day to go vote for conservatives."

    What's so cool about weakness abroad, welfare dependency at home, and murdering unborn children? What's so square about strength abroad, free market capitalism at home, and defending unborn children?

    A key element of this must erase the myth that conservatives don't like sex. I can think of no faster way to move the culture right than having a hot ass stripper run for congress on the GOP line as an unapologetic conservative.

    ---

    So, what exactly are we looking for in a candidate?

    1) Intelligence -- You're going to have to know the issues backwards and forwards; that's only going to happen if you can master the finer details and nuances of public policy. You also should be smart enough to let the Democrats underestimate you.

    2) Thick Skin -- Remember how the media went after Sarah Palin? It'll be worse for you because you'll be challenging liberal feminist assumptions on an even deeper level than she did. You've got to be ready for that.

    3) Pro-Life -- This has less to do with the significance of this issue than it has to do with not caring what liberals think.

    4) Passionate Defender of Israel -- Israel defends civilians; Hamas uses their own Women and Children as Human shields. Need I say more?

    5) Blonde -- It's no secret what Gentlemen prefer.

    6) OVER 25 -- Not my rule, but the constitution says so.

    7) No unreasonable skeletons in your closet. Obviously, we all have a past and a personal life. I'm not looking to judge. That said, whatever bad stuff you've done in your past should be able to explained to the public on our terms.

    Obviously, this will not be for everyone and it's a major commitment. That said, if you have faith in yourself and want to serve in the U.S. Congress, I know we can win this together!

    Call me.

    Adam
    (512) 466-2635

  2. #2
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    Could you clarify #7? I mean, you are looking for a stripper, so what would constitute an "unreasonable" skeleton?


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  3. #3
    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Houston,Tx
    Posts
    1,522
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 136 Times in 79 Posts

    Default Re: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

  4. #4
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    Good luck on this! Geez, I wish I could think that without being sarcastic.

    You should have just left it that you were looking for a smart stripper, over 25 because of the law, and been done with it. I would venture to guess you aren't going to find anyone that meets all your requirements.

    Besides, after the whole Koleen Brooks escapade it would take a very well mannered, well spoken, extremely intelligent and personable dancer to work her way into the government in such a position. Not to mention that what she is promoting would have to actually be in line with what the majority of society finds acceptable for morals and opinions on topics like pro-life/abortion and Israel.

    It sounds to me like you are just looking to raise a ruckus and you are more about entertainment than politics.
    Last edited by Kylea2; 02-19-2009 at 11:22 PM.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  5. #5
    Member fawn296's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    36
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    I agree with the last post. A nice dress suite and a hot women with knowledge of politics. You dont need to parade a bimbo around and give her lines to read. That is just wrong and degrading!! Maybe you should rethink your comedy strip.

  6. #6
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,652
    Thanks
    3,054
    Thanked 2,005 Times in 903 Posts

    Default Re: Austin TX: Do you want to run for the U.S. Congress?!?

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Similar Threads

  1. Congress needs a paycut
    By leilanicandy in forum Member Boards
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-23-2008, 01:44 AM
  2. 14% approval for republicans running congress
    By SC_dude in forum Member Boards
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-22-2006, 11:06 AM
  3. Congress's plans for stripperweb
    By Deogol in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-30-2006, 09:28 PM
  4. Congress busts the budget again
    By Deogol in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-17-2006, 04:43 AM
  5. Idiot Congress
    By Deogol in forum Political Poo
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-27-2005, 10:42 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •