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Thread: I feel sick...

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    Default I feel sick...

    So theres this girl who works at Subway who I have liked for sometime. Each time we progressively flirted more when she served me. I would come in there at different times when she least expected it.. because it would be a better surprise for her.

    But I have always been hesitant about asking her out... she gave me a customer feedback slip (noone has ever given me a customer feedback slip over the 3 years I have shopped there). I didn't put down my mobile number because she could of seen me as a creep when really she is just really outgoing and friendly when she sees me. I don't jump to conclusions..

    Anyway... I guess one of the main reasons I'm not asking her out is because I work at a male SC. She might think I'm a sleaze or maybe she couldn't tolerate the amount of girls who hit on me.. I just finished a private show today and went out with my male stripper friend who is also my best and closest friend I have. We go back since high school...

    He is really outgoing at times... and randomly chats up girls.... we were having pizza at night... and he calls out to these girls dressed up as cops because his gimmick is a cop during his stage shows. I take no notice of this as this is just routine... (chatting up strangers and all) and as I get closer I notice it is the girl who works at Subway... this was after about 5 minutes of him chatting to them!!

    My best friend was flirting with her and he had no idea we had a thing going. When she noticed me she gave me a hug.. but my best friend gave her his number because she is a massage therapist.

    After the conversation ended she hugged me again... she noticed me change my stance when she hugged my friend. I felt sick in the stomach like nothing before... my friend is an attractive guy (as am I) but he is more outgoing than me while I'm the reserved shy type.

    I am fearful she will call him and something will happen between the 2. This will destroy me and lose my best friend in the process perhaps if this happens. My friend knows I like her but he won't pursue her because of me... but the million dollar question is... will he tell me if she calls him?

    I feel awful right now.. and I have been drinking alcohol heavier than usual.. I don't know what to do.

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Oh just get her number off him and call her.
    A civilian spends money to look good
    A stripper looks good to make money
    A civilian may be after your wage
    A stripper laughs at your wage

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    she didn't give him her number... he gave her his number...
    I know women get offered numbers all the time from guys..

    hrmm... maybe I'll just give her my number... and if she doesn't call me thats fine... but I wish I didn't get those silly tingly stomach feelings when I see her. I hate being attached to women like that..

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Its fine, its called an adventure- enjoy it.

    And yes, give her your number. Lifes too short to uumm and eeerrr for too long.
    A civilian spends money to look good
    A stripper looks good to make money
    A civilian may be after your wage
    A stripper laughs at your wage

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jezzebelle View Post
    Its fine, its called an adventure- enjoy it.

    And yes, give her your number. Lifes too short to uumm and eeerrr for too long.

    ugh.... .... ..... ... well ok. I'll try... I guess I won't have much to lose.. being in this industry and all.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Why don't you go by there tomorrow and just tell her that you were hesitant to approach her before because of your job, but that you'd really love to take her out. Usually a girl that has a crush tends to go for the more long term crush over the new crush... just a thought.
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
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    Senior Member MeowMixxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Dude, just suck it up and ask for her number. The longer you wait, the more chance that the other guy is gonna come in there and sweep her off her feet, and then where does that leave you?? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

    Worry about the job shit later. You have to get your foot in the door with her first.

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Talk to your friend. Tell him what the deal is. If you're as close as you say he will respect your feelings and not make a move on her. But you should! Either get her # from your friend or go to subway and finally ask her out. If you wait you're only hurting yourself.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    Why don't you go by there tomorrow and just tell her that you were hesitant to approach her before because of your job, but that you'd really love to take her out. Usually a girl that has a crush tends to go for the more long term crush over the new crush... just a thought.
    cool idea
    I just happen to have a stellar idea up my sleeve too.. I think it might work its a bit sneaky... but ehhh what the hell If it doesn't work I'll be back here to post nonconstructive info to your threads

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    ^^^ Why are you asking us for advice if you already have a "stellar idea"? WTF?! I could be looking at naughty pics on the board rather than giving you advice if I had known that! j/k

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer911 View Post
    If it doesn't work I'll be back here to post nonconstructive info to your threads
    Is that a threat? I don't know if you would have the nerve... obviously you couldn't even get yourself shacked up with "the girl", let alone come up with something non-constructive to say to me just for a buzz!

    Anyhow, what is your idea Mr. Evil?
    Don't you ever sleep?
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Stop drinking.
    Sober up.
    Hungry? Go to Subway and order a sandwich (they make em good there).
    Joke with her about your old friend. Make sure she laughs but dont ridicule him, but subtly get her to see that he picks up girls.
    Tell her you really enjoy talking with her -- and eating her sandwiches
    Be pleasant and funny.
    THEN get her number and explain why you did not ask for it before.
    Then treat her well; you got up her expectations; now deliver on it.

    You know the routine.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    There is a tide in the affairs of men.
    Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
    Omitted, all the voyage of their life
    Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
    On such a full sea are we now afloat,
    And we must take the current when it serves,
    Or lose our ventures.

    Best advice I can give.

    Yours....

    William Shakespeare

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    Veteran Member Ruby Ruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    tell her you think she'd look good between two slices of bread, and slathered in mayonnaise. that's a sure heart-winner.
    "If she wants to dance and drink all night, well there's no one that can stop her. She's going til the house lights come up or her stomach spills onto the floor. This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over, worked all week long, and now the music is playing on our time. Yeah we do what we do to get by, and then we need a release!" - Against Me!, "Thrash Unreal"

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    ^^^ Why are you asking us for advice if you already have a "stellar idea"? WTF?! I could be looking at naughty pics on the board rather than giving you advice if I had known that! j/k



    Is that a threat? I don't know if you would have the nerve... obviously you couldn't even get yourself shacked up with "the girl", let alone come up with something non-constructive to say to me just for a buzz!

    Anyhow, what is your idea Mr. Evil?
    I just came up with the steller idea roughly about the same time I read your message.. coincidence! lol naughty pics

    hey its not easy to ask out someone you like!! when you ask out a girl you are putting yourself on the line. It's like asking how desirable am I? then if they say no... or sometimes in my case (in the few instances I did make the first move) they say I'm busy with exams or... I'm going interstate or I have a boyfriend then its like I feel undesirable... or sometimes they take my number and god knows where it ends up. So this is why I avoid making the first move.. and if a woman says yes.. maybe she has a sinister plan up her sleeve...

    and women love to play mind games with me too
    you know when I went out to the city 2 nights ago when I saw her.... she did 3 things infront of me which annoyed me

    1) when she noticed me with my friend... I was inside some pizza house while my friend ran outside... I made little effort to go outside because I was busy.. then she looked inside and saw me and gave me a hug (ok this didn't annoy me that much)
    2) she briefly said something about dating someone to me
    3) when I went outside she was busy paying attention to my friend.. then she gave him her mobile phone so he can put his number in it
    4) after that she gave him a hug goodbye while looking at me over her shoulder I just crossed my arms and looked away when she hugged him.. that really pssed me off.. but I wasn't angry at my friend because he had no idea we knew each other

    she did give me a hug goodbye but she left with the wrong mobile number.. and I find out later she didn't even call him... lame.

    So yeah that summarises my story.. I'm having second thoughts about her and also I need my self confidence for my job. So I can't go around putting myself on the line and risking my self esteem!!

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    See, this is what happens when you don't speak up. Guess you haven't mastered mental telepathy yet. Now you have damage control.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    life is short. the trick is to enjoy all of your experiences, even the ones that might not go exactly the way you want them to.

    don't talk yourself out of this one. go in, talk to her, be confident, tell her you two should go out for coffee sometime. smile. be charming. it really doesn't matter if she says yes or no, because you'll feel much better either way.

    no matter what you do, do not speak poorly of your friend. if you do wind up going out with her, make it a point to let your friend know, so there are no misunderstandings. girls come and go, friends should be forever.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by ronmexico View Post
    life is short. the trick is to enjoy all of your experiences, even the ones that might not go exactly the way you want them to.

    don't talk yourself out of this one. go in, talk to her, be confident, tell her you two should go out for coffee sometime. smile. be charming. it really doesn't matter if she says yes or no, because you'll feel much better either way.

    no matter what you do, do not speak poorly of your friend. if you do wind up going out with her, make it a point to let your friend know, so there are no misunderstandings. girls come and go, friends should be forever.
    this is golden advice...
    thx mate

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Maybe she took his # to ask about you?
    Anyways if she calls your friend it's cool. He can mention he got her # for you b/c you're a little shy.( b/c of the job) He sounds like a cool friend in that he won't go after her now that he knows you like her.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    I saw her today.. and as usual she appeared very happy to see me. We had a good conversation... I guess my sinister plan was to initially tell her he was not really a cop because he uses the cop uniform for his stage show and he was just pretending to be a cop because he virtuallly has the entire uniform - handcuffs, hat, police shirt.. except the police badge

    I didn't even have to tell her this because she figured it out anyway lol.. I also told her friend I work in a male SC just as a strategic move so the girl I liked would figure out he wasn't a cop. I guess when you show a woman a NYPD police uniform and you live in Australia it is unlikely women will think you are a genuine cop (unless they are braindead hah)

    oh and she asked for my number.. after having a reallly good convo with her. I can be surprising smooth and charming with women when I don't over analyse everything. Maybe my job has lifted my confidence and communication skills with women.. so I guess that helps..

    she will probably see me after work tomorrow night... I do wonder if she knows where I work though... heh

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    I'm glad you finally made a move and stopped over-analysing.

    When I was much younger, and quite a bit more shy, I had this waitress friend, Kelli. Now, lots of lonely guys who frequent the same restaurant all the time have waitress friends. But this had progressed quite a bit farther than that. I really wanted to ask her out. She apparently wanted me to ask her out. When I ordered a black coffee after my meal, she used to joke to the other customers at the bar "He likes is coffee like he likes his women...that's why he won't ask me out. I *really* wanted to ask her out, but the combination of being shy and over-analysing kept me from doing so.

    Eventually, she got tired of waiting for me to get myself together, and got together with another guy.

    I could have had her....I was *that* close.

    I'm glad to see you are not repeating my mistakes.

    Good luck,

    Lynn

    P.S. Funny thing...for the last nine years, I have been in a relationship with a Black woman (who I managed to grow enough balls to ask out)....maybe Kelli was right about that :-).

    L
    Last edited by lgrant98001; 02-13-2009 at 09:44 AM. Reason: Edited to fix spelling.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by lgrant98001 View Post
    I'm glad you finally made a move and stopped over-analysing.

    I could have had her....I was *that* close.

    I'm glad to see you are not repeating my mistakes.

    Good luck,

    Lynn

    P.S. Funny thing...for the last nine years, I have been in a relationship with a Black woman (who I managed to grow enough balls to ask out)....maybe Kelli was right about that :-).

    L
    thank you..

    there comes a point in a mans life where he just needs to bite the bullet.. I have ran into enough scenarios like yours to know better not to hesitate unless I want to experience dejavu all over again.

    In one situation.. I fell for this cambodian girl at work who was in a position above me. I hesitated for a good 6-8 months lol.. then I decided I wanted to move on because it was getting the better of me. I just couldn't ask her out... then I was in the bosses office one time and mentioning how I was leaving for an interview. She said to him loud enough so I could hear 'he doesn't know until he tries'... I knew exactly what this subtle hint meant. I eventually did ask her out but that was too late... girls won't wait for you forever... thats fine she wasn't the one for me anyway.

    Asking someone out is like learning how to walk... you fall over and trip a few times then it gets easier from there. I was pretty smooth this time round.. no nerves at all... not during the end part of the conversation anyway.

    Glad to hear of your relationship too

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Humor is the lubricant for getting one's point across, even subtle points.

    Like in LGrant's post above, I would have brought in some dark tanning lotion and told her it was a present for her. After laughter, she may well have not said, 'you need to put this all over me'. But she could have smiled and made some attempt to help those two get together.

    Everyone has opportunities for love, and why regret, for a lifetime, not taking a few chances?
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    look likes she briefly came into my work today.. and has made a judgement of me because of the work I do. Because she told me she would msg me and didn't end up messaging me to meet up. I regret telling her friend I work in a SC....

    I actually bought a small teddy bear for her too for Valentines Day.
    What a waste of time.. I'll never shop at where she works ever again.

    I'm sick of women and their stupid mind games.. for now on anytime I get asked if I have a gf or whether I'm single I'll say I am gay and uninterested... and I don't give a rats ass how sexy they think they are either.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    See, this sort of thing happens when straight-up guys come into a strip club where a gal they sort-of know is working too. It can be a shock to the uninitiated. You may be surprised eventually, but it's certainly her move now.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: I feel sick...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucifer911 View Post
    look likes she briefly came into my work today.. and has made a judgement of me because of the work I do. Because she told me she would msg me and didn't end up messaging me to meet up. I regret telling her friend I work in a SC....
    I don't think that it is because of your work, most women are just flaky especially young women. Maybe she decided to hook up with your friend instead. Women change their mind all the time, that is just the way it is, the sooner you accept this the less stress you will have going through life.

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