I got a crush

**wish** · 02-11-2009, 09:23 PM

It's been a hell of a long time since I've been feeling somebody. I was starting to think it was me because everybody I went out with for the last year within the first date at some time I felt like blowning their brains out. Just bored to tears. Okay heres the issue... I've never actually met this guy. I went on a online dating service thinking it would be easier. Wait it gets worse... he's in the military and stationed half way cross the country. We've been playn on webcam like some lil kids and talking on the phone for hours for the past few weeks and just having fun.

I think it's b/c I'm excited about feeling a connection with somebody and I was feeling lonely (to the extreme)but this week I could not shut up and kept putting my foot in my mouth (to put it nicely)

THIS IS NOT ME I CHASE NO MAN ESPECIALLY 1 IN MY IMAGIONATION(ONLINE) But I can't stop thinking about him. He's been telling me this summer he's going to come meet me but I think I've blown it on 1 hand and on the other hand like why care. I feel like a desperate fool! I think I'm just going to erase his # and start over.

Be honest what do you think.

**Brooke** · 02-13-2009, 08:07 AM

I don't understand the bad part... sounds like you are gaga-eyed over someone for the first time in a long time. Yay!

How did you put your foot in your mouth and blow it?

**wish** · 02-13-2009, 12:37 PM

I know I'm being irrational and over reacting. It just feels weird and scary thats all. But for some reason I could not shut up and all my insecurities just flowed out a few days ago. Like I told him I was going to stop calling him for a lil while because I called far too often then he laughed at me and pointed out that we talk to each other in some form all day every day. It seems really fast to me. I've pulled it together now and he still seems interested.

**wish** · 02-28-2009, 09:17 PM

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me... I can't just have fun with this. He's really being a sweetheart. I just feel so damn insecure talking to him. I'm totally going to blow this. I feel so comfortable talking to him ... too comfortable and when I notice I'm having a good time (here comes the insecurities draining out). I don't do very well with feelings (incase that wasn't obvious) I have a need for things to make sence and feelings are irrational and that scares the hell out of me for some reason. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life

**verfolgung** · 02-28-2009, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by wish

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me... I can't just have fun with this. He's really being a sweetheart. I just feel so damn insecure talking to him. I'm totally going to blow this. I feel so comfortable talking to him ... too comfortable and when I notice I'm having a good time (here comes the insecurities draining out). I don't do very well with feelings (incase that wasn't obvious) I have a need for things to make sence and feelings are irrational and that scares the hell out of me for some reason. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life

That fear is part of what makes emotions so great, and worth the effort.

Sounds like you are overly thinking things, but you know it. As long as you're being careful with with whole on-line thing, if your having fun, go with it.

My best friend from college had a lot of emotional issue and never seemed to be able to find herself in a healthy relationship. She always seemed to get herself involved where she was "the other woman" or was another one-time stand. She almost gave up hope of ever finding her soul mate. Then she tried an on-line dating service, and from Maine she started talking with a guy from AZ. They talked for 6 months, and just seemed to click. Now it's been 4 years and they are married and have had their first child together. It can happen, and I've seen the possibility.

Take care, and best of luck.