Whats with the ever changing boyfriends mind?

***~Angel~*** · 02-21-2009, 06:10 PM

The situation. Him and I are on a "break" and in seperate states right now. He had no problem with me dancing when I was moved in with him. But when I told him I was gonna go dance up in my home state he suddenly gets defensive and isnt sure of the idea. Whats going on in his head? Why is he suddenly showing me a new side of things? Could it be jealousy or what?

***~Angel~*** · 02-21-2009, 06:44 PM

^^ I really would love imput from you girls. Oopsies did i put it in the wrong area? Its just been bugging me, & i quite frankly dont know whats up. Just trying to sort it all out.

**bella_4x4** · 02-22-2009, 09:23 AM

idk. it sounds like theres a lot missing. maybe he just feels more comfortable when he knows youre coming back home to him after work. maybe hes having some trust issues because of the distance. im far from an expert on the male mind, i just dont get how theyre thought process works. but if you two are on a break to begin with, continue to dance if you want to or feel its best for you. also communication in this situation is key. especially with the distance, you really need to talk wit him about the whole thing. sorr i cant be more helpful, its just a very short explanation about what is going on...

**verfolgung** · 02-22-2009, 09:38 AM

Idk, doesn't sound that far fetched to me. You're on a "break" and far away. He still cares about you, and he's showing some concern.

It only sounds like it would be a serious problem if open communication didn't help to relieve the anxiety.

Would you rather complete apathy and not caring about anything you did?

***~Angel~*** · 02-22-2009, 09:49 AM

Actually no, and I guess that does seem correct. I have been talking to him about it, and he's worried about me. You know in case I get hurt or something, which i told him that I was already careful to the T... But yeah, thanks for the advice anyways ladies, I appreciate it.

**charlie61** · 02-24-2009, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by *~Angel~*

The situation. Him and I are on a "break" and in seperate states right now. He had no problem with me dancing when I was moved in with him. But when I told him I was gonna go dance up in my home state he suddenly gets defensive and isnt sure of the idea. Whats going on in his head? Why is he suddenly showing me a new side of things? Could it be jealousy or what?

My thoughts--

-By deciding to leave and dance in your home state, you're basically declaring "no seriously, I'm moving on" (even if that isn't your intention). You'll be getting a job in a state different from the one he's in (if my understanding is correct). This is kind of a finality--a real sign of independence and autonomy that might be making him realize that he isn't done with you yet. In other words, it might not be about stripping at all.

-Like someone else mentioned, the distance might cause a trust problem. Do you usually unload on him after work, tell him stories, discuss the money, etc? He's unfamiliar with your new working environment, and the distance will definitely slow the flow of information he's getting about your job.

-Was he using the money you made stripping for his own purposes (while you were living together)? Many SO's claim to be totally fine with stripping if they're living off of the income, but the second they stop benefiting from it, suddenly they say you're "above" that kind of work. "What's the difference between aspirin and a stripper's boyfriend? Aspirin works." It's a stripping/sex industry phenomenon.

-He might be afraid your feelings for him will drift. Most stripper SO's realize that we meet a hell of a lot of people on the job...and the odds are that at least a few of them will be people you connect with. By moving to a new state, you're opening up possibilities of meeting thousands of new people without the physically-close/emotional tie of your boyfriend waiting at home for you. Whether or not this is rational, he might be feeling like you could quickly become attached to someone else without his influence.

-He wants you back. You're moving. He's coming up with any excuse to keep you in his region.

Hope that helps! Just off the top of my head.

***~Angel~*** · 02-24-2009, 09:38 AM

Damn, that helps out a lot, & is kinda true too.... He keps asking me all this stuff to reassure the relationship. I left that time not planning on coming back, but hes like he'll change, and i trusted him. We're semi together, but i don't know if i want it back up fully.

**bexxx** · 02-24-2009, 10:00 AM

I can deffinatly understand why he would be like that, when youre dancing but youre coming home to him it would help him trust you I think and look out for you and just generally feel alot more secure about it but when youre in a whole different place he would be worrying about you constantly as he has no control on the situation.