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Thread: I'm not a fricking shoulder to cry on!!!

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    Duh I'm not a fricking shoulder to cry on!!!

    I've just started working. I've only worked two weekends and two week days, to put it into perspective. Plus I have a full time job where I'm putting in 48 hours. When I'm working at the club I want to make as much as I can so that having a second job is worth it because I really need the extra money and am already putting in a total of 68 hours of work! There are many factors as to why I work so much and have so little income that I won't get into.

    Anywho, two nights in a row I sit next to a cutsiy and he's buying me drinks and tipping me real well on stage. Then the pictures of the kids come out (two nights in a row mind you). Then the stories of how he's a single dad and the mom is some druggy or something. Now I feel stuck and spend the majority of my time with this guy as I'm watching other guys come in the door being snagged up by other girls. Meanwhile, this guy is asking for my number and trying to convince me that we can be good friends. Which I kindly say that I do not give out my number and tell him I am very much involved. How do I get this guy to buy me a dance or just get away from him. I want to do it in a nice manner because he is pouring his heart out to me and even when I'm not working at the club, people tell me there lifes problems.

    Oh and to add to it, I had the same thing happen to me last night, in the private dance room!!! So that makes it three nights in a fricking row. I finally just ended the conversation and said that this is a place for fun so lets get out there and have more fun. I felt I could get out of that situation a little easier.

    Thanks girls.

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    Default Re: I'm not a fricking shoulder to cry on!!!

    LOL these guys get on my nervres THE MOST. too bad there are so many of them lately. I would just let him know how happy you are that he came in because you love to give very special treatment to single men/men just out of a relationship. you can even seal the deal with a sweet hug to let him know you are serious about the attention u are willing to give him, if he pays the price of course.

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    Veteran Member angelicat's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a fricking shoulder to cry on!!!

    Most annoying ever. Stop sacrificing your money making time with the sob story guys. Unless they are giving you dough- let them take it elsewhere.

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm not a fricking shoulder to cry on!!!

    I think it was the sociologist Hochschild who first studied what's called "emotional labor." People like waiters and flight attendants have to maintain a certain attitude at work that isn't their own. They smile because they are paid to smile, and they listen because they are paid to listen. Prior to this research, no one had really acknowledged how difficult it is to work in an industry where you have to exercise your emotions (instead of your brain power or physical power).

    Strippers constantly encounter this kind of thing. If we want to be paid well, we must do certain things. These things (looking pretty and acting a certain way) are taxing. They may look easy and fun, but they aren't always. This is the nature of the business.

    Anyway, I thought this sociologist's point was interesting. I'd never really concretely understood why this job can seem so difficult sometimes when it appears to just involve dancing around and talking to people. It's because it involves emotional labor. Whether you're being rejected by people or listening to their sad stories, strip club environments can really take a lot out of you if you aren't careful.

    So now you need to find the happy medium between listening to people and bringing them up (into the VIP dance mindset). I've had happy people, drunk people, sad people...all kinds of people get VIP's with me. It doesn't matter why they get them: it's your job to convince them that they should. And you also need to find the happy medium of what you can handle. It's hard to listen to people's sob stories. It can take you out of work mode into suddenly-I-can't-make-money-because-I-look-depressed mode. Eventually, you'll figure out how to manage these situations better. We've all been there!

    As a side note, I think it'd be good for you to try to humanize these people to some degree. Personally, I put a lot of effort into seeing all of my customers as individuals instead of walking dollar signs (seriously). If you have problems sympathizing with people--and yes I know it isn't your job to do so, but I think it's a good thing to encourage--then try this: for anyone who is especially annoying to you, try to picture them in a familial setting (outside of the strip club). Everyone is someone's father, brother, sister, son, et cetera. Even if someone is acting like a total asshole, chances are that someone in the world loves them...and they have reasons for being the way they are today. Try to sympathize with them. And by doing so, while keeping your VIP dance goal in mind, you'll end up with more sales. I'm not saying you should baby these people or anything...but it's still good to remember that strippers stereotype their customers just as often as customers stereotype strippers. The cycle has to stop somewhere!
    Last edited by charlie61; 02-26-2009 at 08:30 PM. Reason: addition

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