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Thread: pet advice!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
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    Angry pet advice!

    I need opinions on this matter please!

    I have a cat and a dog. My dog is perfect but my cat is not...at all! she's 2 years old, we rescued her from a shelter when she was 2 months old. At the time, she was very sick with a terrible flue and the people at the shelter advised us not to adopt her but we did anyways because we felt she was going to die if we didn't because no one else would wanna adopt a sick cat, right.

    Well we did, she got a lot better but then she became this little bitch! I don't know what went wrong with her, we spoil our pets like no one else, we buy them all kinds of treats, we buy them tons of toys, my cat has scratchers, a cat tree, cat videos, so she can watch tv and have fun, etc, etc... me and my roommate even stay home with them instead of going to see a movie or whatever because we don't want them to be lonely.

    But, my cat is simply unhappy I think. She behaves so bad! she doesn't like people, extremely unsocial, we had my roommates' in laws over on the weekend, she'd hiss and even scratch and bite if you get close to her. (she won't do that with me or my roommate but any "stranger") she's not cuddly at all, if she gets mad she'll piss and poop on my bed, my clothes, and even stove! And I've had it!!! I'm done with her! I want to get rid of her! but I feel bad because no. 1 she'll never get adopted because of the way she behaves, and no. 2 I don't believe that you should "get rid" of your pets. You're supposed to be their family forever, you should make that commitment when you adopt a pet but of all the animals i've had in my life she's the worst by far! way far!

    what do you guys think I should do! My roommate wants to get rid of her so bad!

    any advice will be deeply appreciated!
    Last edited by Innocense; 05-19-2009 at 04:50 PM.

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    I think its time for a qualified pet psychologist to step in, not a trainer, one who specialises in behaviour.
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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Yikes...

    IME, cats tend to be pretty un-trainable once you get past a certain age. You adopted her, which didn't allow you to raise her as you would've liked. Adoptions are tricky this way... I'm thinkin' there's very little you can do to change her behaviors.

    If things get really bad, you can buy a cat cage. This sounds a bit cruel, but you'd be surprised at how much you can glam one up--if it's big enough, you can put all kinds of fun stuff in there for her (I've seen it done--you can put carpet down, etc, and she's free to destroy/shit on whatever she wants). This way, you can let her out when you're able to watch what she's getting into. It'd still be a good alternative to putting her back out for adoption!

    I really understand where you're coming from. My family is the same way with pets: a commitment is a commitment. Pets aren't like other forms of property...they can't be returned and re-bought over and over. Hopefully other people will have more interesting ideas for your situation!

    Also, do a search for cat forums online. There are lots of them out there! Including this one: http://www.catforum.com/ Try posting your question to the experts!!

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    ^My friend had a similar cat situation, and she did something like Charlie mentioned.

    She bought a GIANT dog crate (a crate, not one of those metal cages..hard plastic with slits on the sides), like this:
    http://wheatleywaterdogs.com/yahoo_s...160358_std.jpg

    The crate was made for extremely large breed dogs, to the existent that my friend could fit herself inside, turn around, etc.

    She decked it out for the cat, put thick carpet down in it, put a big scratcher, a climbing shelf, tons of toys.

    She found that her cat got very nervous, especially when strangers would come over, and would act out (hissing, scratching, pooping). So she would put the cat in the giant crate when she went out, or when people came over, so that the cat would be out of harm's way, but still could entertain itself.

    The cat LOVED it's own little home, to the extent that my friend would leave the door open, and the cat would go in itself. When people came over,t he cat would go inside because it became its "safe place" and the bad behavior stopped.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    It sounds like the illness your cat suffered has left her brain damaged. Plenty of human illnesses will cause brain damage, even if the illness was cured. Syphilis is the most famous, but even food poisoning like e-coli can cause brain damage. Your cat will likely never get better, and the best you can do is to manage her to protect your furniture and guests from kitty damage.

    She is likely to get worse as she ages. I recommend building her a crate, with nice kitty furniture, litter box, a hiding hole and a bed. Whenever you leave, you can put her in her house. You can also use it when you have guests. Most likely you will have to have her put down, when she starts becoming too violent to deal with (remember, she is acting out because she is in anguish).

    I'm sorry you're pet isn't what you'd hoped. I know it is a hard decision to give up an animal.


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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Sounds like the cat crate might be a good idea after all. I urge you, however, to find a cat cage instead though. I'm pretty sure they make cages especially for this purpose. They tend to have much more visibility, are much larger, and also open up all kinds of interior design options! In all honesty, if you keep it clean, it even looks good on open display in a house. I've seen it done!

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Something like these:

    http://www.cats-on-line.com/?gclid=C...FSPxDAoduBkFaQ

    That was just the first thing that came up on google...but it gives you an idea of how they can actually look very clean and humane. It looks like they can cost some $$, but I guess anything would be worth getting this cat out of your family's hair!

    Obviously you don't have to buy such an enormous cage as some of those...but you get the idea. And you can buy all kinds of shelves and whatnot for your kitty to lay on! Put some comfy carpet down, throw in some scratching posts, put stuff on all levels of the cage. You can have fun with it.

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    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
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    Sad Re: pet advice!

    Thank you so much for the advice! But i gotta be honest, I really don't have the space to have a cage big enough for her to be comfortable.

    and, today I noticed something....

    when my cat was about 4 months old she started biting herself in the arms and legs... I took her to the vet and they said it was because she was in heat so she was frustrated. I wasn't expecting it because she was so young, i knew I wanted to get her spayed but I wanted to wait till she was a little older. anyways, the same thing is happening again!!! I feel that she's not happy at all, I really don't understand why though, cuz I've tried really hard to make her happy.

    My in law's neighbor has tons of outdoor cats, he basically adopts them and lets them run free and always has food and water for them in his backyard so the cats are free but always have food. I'm gonna take her over there and let her be an outdoor cat. I honestly think that's what will make her happy.

    I honestly wish there's something else I could do but I feel very exhausted. this situation has been going on for a year and a half and I'm running out of patience!
    Last edited by Innocense; 03-06-2009 at 09:58 AM.

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    Member Lydia Rose's Avatar
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    Crossfingers Re: pet advice!

    i 100% agree with you on the "you shouldnt 'get rid' of your pets" thing, no matter what...thats a terrible thing to do. no one will love them like you can, thats what i think.


    have you taken her back to the vet since? maybe you should get a cat whisperer or someone similar?

    good luck
    Tomei


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    Member Lydia Rose's Avatar
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    Sad Re: pet advice!

    oh, also, dont put her outside unless you've spayed her yet, and dont declaw...otherwise she wont be able to defend herself properly.

    if you dont spay a cat you will be putting outside, they can and will literally yield thousands of kittens over 3 years!!
    Tomei


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    Senior Member inThePine's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    I think you're making the right choice by putting her in the care of someone who will let her run free, some animals are just not cut out to be indoors. My cat did the same thing when she matured, but as soon as we let her start going outside it was like a miracle - when she would get too rambunctious she would just get one of us to let her out and when she came back in she was fine. Some animals are just not sociable with people, flat out. and what Paris said about her illness affecting her can def have some weight on the issue.
    I feel for you, I am an outrageous cat lady and want to figure animals out before taking any inhumane measures against them. Spaying is def a must though! and she will need a few days to herself afterward to heal and not around male cats - if they try to "make a move" it can injure her! so make the arrangements ahead of time. best of luck to you, hope she is happier

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    Veteran Member angelicat's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    This might be absolutely silly b/c I know it usually only applies to male animals... But can having a female cat fixed change its behavior?

    My best friend had a male cat that started doing things similar to the OP's cat. She had him fixed and he's the sweetest thing ever now.

  13. #13
    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Your cat is having behavioral problems. You said she was in heat and was bitig herself, yet you didn't get her spayed. You should get that done. That will help alot a FEW weeks after to 6 months after. Not right away.
    Also who knows what happened to the cat before it was placed in a shelter.
    Before you or your husband does something negligent to the cat give it to someone with more cat experience. Maybe you would do better with another cats personality.
    But for christ's sake- don't let the cat run loose. Esp not being fixed. The world has enough kittens.

  14. #14
    Member Cat2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    I would vote for not being fixed contributed to problem. I knew someone else's cat who was inbred and didn't spayed and she had tons of behavioral problems when she was in heat (although I am sure that being inbred played big part of it too)

    About changing behavior after being fixed not sure. I have two female cats who were fixed when they were about 2 years old. They behavior did not changed a bit (other than them not being frustrated in heat). But they always were sweet cats.
    Last edited by Cat2008; 03-06-2009 at 08:32 AM. Reason: adding up

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    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    she's spayed already! I said I was surprised when she was in heat at 4 months old but as soon as she was ready I got her fixed...that was a year and a half ago... that's why I don't understand why she's acting this way again...

    oh... and she isn't declaw.... I'm against that....
    Last edited by Innocense; 03-08-2009 at 03:13 PM.

  16. #16
    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Get in touch with an animal behaviorist. Don't put her outdoors, it shortens their lifespan.

    Or, find her a new home, where maybe she is an only animal or something and her personality might mesh with a different person. Just make sure it's a good one.

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    Veteran Member toomuchhomeworklately's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    I don't want this to sound mean but, maybe the cat just doesn't like living with you.

    Years ago my ex's cat was constantly in heat and he didn't have the money to spay it. He was to the point of just tossing it out the door. So I adopted her for 2 months & got her spayed. Even after she got spayed she was still a little bitch. She even peed on my bed right in front of me. So I gave her back to my ex and she was happy. She was real friendly with me when I would visit. She just hated living with me. Also, he would let her go outside; I wouldn't.

    So if you think she'd be happier with the neighbor....

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    Default Re: pet advice!

    You may want to consider using Feliway, http://www.feliway.com/gb

  19. #19
    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    When we had a cat, we got her fixed. Before we got her fixed, she was a sweetie, after wards, she lived up to her name Diva. She was a royal bitch and started to trash our house. Fixing an animal screws with its hormones. Even our dog has gotten a little aggressive but not as bad as Diva was.

    The cat house sounds like a great idea, I say try that. Spray bottle of water helps and there is another spray you can use on doorways and furniture to keep her out, I think it's called 'pet-away' or something like that.

    My sister said you cat may just need a sanctuary and more stimulation.

    Personally, I kennel my dogs in our house when we are not home or when we have to many people coming and going.

    Diva is no longer with us, she went to live with a little old lady down the street who has more time to cater to her needs.

    (forgive me if I am saying anything rude or unwanted, I still have a hangover from Friday night's girls night out party)


  20. #20
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Remember, Innocense, you don't have to get a cat cage as big as the ones on that site! You can get something to cage her when you aren't around to watch her...big enough to be comfortable, but small enough to be unobtrusive in your living space.

  21. #21
    CarlyMIA
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    I'm a major cat lady with two cats of my own. I've done plenty of research before adopting them and so I know what I'm talking about.

    PLEASE do not let your cat run loose outside!!!!! She has been an indoor kitty her whole life and no, she doesn't "want" to be outside. She has no idea what the outside is!!! There are so many dangers like being run over by a car, fighting with other cats, finding the way home. Yes, cats will *usually* find their way home, but there is no guarantee. If you love your cat, MAKE SURE she stays indoors.

    Fixing. It is necessary to fix your animals! Every vet in the world will tell you this. It doesn't directly change your cats behavior 180 degrees. Something else triggers this kind of sudden outbursts as described by other posters.

    And for gods sakes do not declaw your cats! It's cruel, barbaric and unnecessary. I can't wait for the day it will be illegal in the U.S.

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    Member Morigan's Avatar
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    Default Re: pet advice!

    Ok so my mom has a purebred boxer who is a little over a year old, She recently got her fixed to help with her bitchiness as well. Its been a few weeks and she still has some aggression problems sometimes with the two other dogs when it comes to food, territory of just sometimes being a bitch. Training and behavior therapy for her would be ideal because getting an animal fixed does not solve all problems with behavior. here is a handy link that might help you

    http://cats.about.com/od/behaviortra...d_Training.htm

    hope it all works out!!

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