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Thread: nice guy or creep?

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    Default nice guy or creep?

    I've been working in this club for about 4 months and right from the get go was introduced to a club regular by another "newbie". He comes in to just hang out and knows a lot of bartenders and dancers cause he's been coming there for a long time, i get the feeling they all think he's a chill guy. He never does dances, EVER, but hangs out and buys girls drinks. I always thought of him as a very nice, "normal" guy. He always tells me how much he likes me, yadeeyadeeya, and gave me his business card cause he's a mechanic. He tells me to call him all the time and i tell him i don't have any free time, which is true, and give him other subtle hints so he won't be led on. The other week i needed some car work done, badly, so i asked if he would do the work (he does tons of work for other people at the club) and he said to call him. I called him and he checked my car out and we arranged to have the work done. But the whole time he's telling me that he's giving me such a great deal, cause he really likes me and he keeps on repeating that. He's said we should go out on some dates, i just ignore all this. The other day he called me w/ all the prices and then in casual conversation he asked if i was working that night, i said no that i was going to my friend's b-day party, he asked where, i said a dive bar, and he was like i know where that is and asked if he could come along, i said (not wanting to be mean, i'm stupid) well the more the merrier but i have to tell u i haven't seen these people in a while and i'll be catching up w/ them all night and basically told him not to come in several other subtle ways. He showed up! it was really awkward, he even started touching my hair at the bar until i told him to knock it off! he really freaked me out w/ that move, but he has already ordered the parts to my car and i feel obligated to get the work done. He's always been really normal, what should I do?!

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Tell ya what Iv done at times like these i play ignorant. Pretend you are too dumb to know what he is up to, that you have no idea that people can be like this and react accordingly.
    Be very matter of fact, be up front and blunt but polite. Speak to him as you would any other mechanic.
    It takes two to play these games, so opt out, thats if you want ya car done by him that is.

    You also have the other option of going somewhere else.

    Jeez, all he ever does is buy drink at the club anyway? Lose him.
    A civilian spends money to look good
    A stripper looks good to make money
    A civilian may be after your wage
    A stripper laughs at your wage

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    ughh---CREEP!!!!!
    Okay. Here is what you do. Do NOT call him! Do NOT tell him where you're going or invite him to come along. Don't talk to him when he comes to the club! Stop dropping "subtle hints"--believe me, he gets the hints, he just ignores the message because he knows he can get away with it!

    And DO NOT HAVE HIM DO THE WORK ON YOUR CAR! Just because he ordered the parts doesn't make you obligated to go to him. Tell him to cancel the order. He is acting creepy and making you uncomfortable and taking advantage of your niceness. Go to someone who won't make you feel that way!

    I don't mean to come off as harsh--I know it is hard to learn to establish boundaries and that you want to try to be "nice" and give people second chances. BUT THIS GUY IS A CREEP AND COULD BECOME WORSE THAN A NUISANCE. Run, run, run from him and don't look back.

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Go get your car. Do it during business hours when there are other customers there and if he gives you shit, say loudly that you believe he wants more than just a business relationship and that makes you very uncomfortable.

    Stay calm and just keep repeating that you don't like his unwanted sexual advances and you don't want his working on your car because you believe that he's only giving you a discount because he's trying to get into your pants.

    You shouldn't even have to say that much, as soon as other customers start to get the impression that he's trying to fuck some pretty young woman to fix her car, he'll want you out of there as quick as possible.

    Don't do business with customers, especially non customer customers who don't spend money. (drinks don't count in my book).

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Gotta admit, both those posts were better advice than mine.
    A civilian spends money to look good
    A stripper looks good to make money
    A civilian may be after your wage
    A stripper laughs at your wage

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    i have to play it off cool cause he knows everybody at the club and they know him as a chill guy, and for the most part he is. i like flying under the radar at my club and have to handle this carefully. but i did need to hear that he is bad news and to try to get out of this asap...i am too nice to be a stripper

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    I dont think hes harmful yet but just as much of a creep as most single men. I think the first advice is good, hes not a regular of yours but of the club so dont give him any special treatment or invite him to spend time with you. hes a freeloader. if u are getting a good deal i would go for it and just push him to get the work done asap before anything progresses and ignore him until he does. if you can find a better deal then just do that.

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    This guy is the EXACT type of customer I befriended in my club. He always came in to flirt with the waitresses, buy us drinks, never bought dances. He would help me make money off of other customers though, so we kind of worked as a team.

    You want to know what happened with this guy?

    Wednesday night, March 4th, he came into the club acting very strange. I could see in his face that something was different. He ended up stealing my phone off me after only 5 minutes and bolting out of the club. I called him on it later and he began cussing me out and threatening me. Saying things like "I told you not to hurt me, and I'm going to hurt you. You'll pay for playing me like this" Just yelling at the top of his lungs for me to shut up and listen to his demands. He wanted me to come get the phone at his place alone, and not tell the police or anyone where I was going (yeah fucking right). This guy found out where I live, knows what kind of car I drive. He even started harassing my friends in my phone.

    I was seriously scared for my life, I thought this guy was going to come after me. I called the police and they handled the situation. He returned the phone to one of my old workplaces (creepy!!!) and told the manager there I was a prostitute and he drove me around in a limo while I screwed customers in the back, and that I was total slut who was not to be trusted.

    I reported all of this and had to get a restraining order against this dude. I'm still afraid and refuse to go to work alone, even though he's been banned from both clubs I work at. I will only drive with a bouncer.

    PLEASE, don't end up in a situation like mine. You can't trust this guy. You never know when someone is going to snap. All the waitresses and dancers would have never thought this man to be a total psychopath, if you asked any of them they would have said he was the most charming guy.

    This is a dangerous business. I would NOT suggest meeting him outside the club or getting to know him.

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    Featured Member *Jade*Love's Avatar
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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Oh one more thing, if this guy has your cell phone number he can use his credit card to buy your home address off the internet for like 20 bucks. So don't give your phone number out to strangers anymore unless it's a work phone. You can contact these online databases and pay to get your information taken off.

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    freaky about the phone # thing, but funny cause he would get my ex-boyfriends address (haha). and an update...he called me yesterday evening, i didn't answer, and left a message saying "wow, now i can call u whenever i'm thinking of you. just called to say hi and see what u were up to". freaky! i was thinking that's called stalking! I'm just gonna ignore him from now on, do you think its a good idea to tell my manager that he's freaking me out?

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    What a fucking creeper. Ditch his ass, get your car and move on.

    The hair touching thing to me is really, really gross.

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Never feel obligated or feel like you owe people anything. Especially if they guilt you or do nice things for you.

    You were paying him to fix your car that is obligation enough - giving him money as pay.

    Even if he offered to do the job for free you're still not obligated. Maybe take him to lunch or buy him a bottle of booze or some pot that is thank you enough.

    Get your car and get out.

    To me I don't like it when people invite themselves to functions. He sounds like the vindictive type so watch out. There was a custy that got 86'ed from my club because he got dissed by one of the dancers. He's harmless and all he did was talk a lot of shit after wards. But you just never know.

    I hate to say this but some men go to clubs because no woman wants to put up with them. I've dealt with customers outside the club and most times its not worth the hassle.

    Don't feel bad just be safe. Lesson learned. This can happen to people or men you've met beyond a strip club too.




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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    creep. get your car, and switch clubs if you can.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    He definitely is a creep, especially with the message that he left you.

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Creep
    "Can we read it on the Smoking Gun? "

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    so i finally got out of it! He text me a couple times over the weekend (he has called or text me every day since he's had my #, red flag!) and it drove me crazy! I was fed up so i called him the next day and told him that i was really sorry, but i couldn't have him do the work. He asked why (of course, cause i wasn't going to elaborate) so i just told him my man found the texts and asked who it was and i told my man it was a guy from the club that was going to do my car work. I told him that my man said that the texts were inappropriate from a mechanic friend (which is so true) and he didn't want me to get the work done by him. He played it off like he was just trying to help me out and he would even talk to my man for me and that he wasn't trying to get in my pants. Straight up lie, he had been asking me to call him for a date and more! Then he came into the club that night and he called me over and said if my man didn't trust me he just had one piece of advice for me, and that was to "be careful"! I looked at him and said "I've been with my man for 2 years", rolled my eyes, and walked away. Little does he know my "man" is made up and its u helpful girls and my own sense telling me to get away from him, I TRUST MYSELF! What a creeper, telling me to be careful cause my man doesn't trust me! I just wanted to scream at him how dare u say something like that, u don't even know me! If I had a man that said that, he'd be right and looking out for my well being. Thank you ladies for all the help and advice, u gave me the strength to put my foot down, something i badly needed to learn to do in this industry!

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    yayyy, good job. i think you handled that awesomely
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    You go girl!!
    I am glad that I have finally learned to be strict when it comes to costumers, and my phone number, etc. I've put myself in a couple situations that could have turned out disastrous. It was like the horror stories that end up with girls getting raped and/or murdered, but I never got hurt. I always went with my instincts about people because I never went wrong, but STILL, I have now trained myself to act like every guy there wants to do me wrong. I figure I can't get lucky too many times and so I quit while I was ahead. I don't advise anyone to be as trusting as I once was
    Good job tellin creeper to F OFF lol

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    U did well, he was a weirdo, just remember in future don't make friends with guys like him "friends" of the club , your only there for money be safe x
    xoxo

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    Quote Originally Posted by cede View Post
    Little does he know my "man" is made up and its u helpful girls and my own sense telling me to get away from him, I TRUST MYSELF!
    yess! good going!


    oh man this thread is really helpful. It's one thing to read about "how to be safe," but it's another to see how easily things grow rotten if you just let one little thing slide.

    *shudder* eeghghhhhhhh

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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    "Be careful" His own words no less.

    Nicely played! Hopefully that is the end of that.
    Keep an eye on him without interacting or
    engaging his attention.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    Update: I just started a thread in Stripping (General) on a book I've come across called ---

    The Gift of Fear

    A good read for similar situations.
    Last edited by Stripper Hacks; 03-12-2009 at 09:39 AM.




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    Default Re: nice guy or creep?

    "Be careful", lol, yeah because a "good" man would just hand your number out to every douchebag loser who hangs out in stripclubs because he's "friends" with the strippers he doesn't pay.

    Riiiiiight...That's pretty funny when you think about it. What a jackass.

    Oh, and you handled that very well. Pointing out to him that another person thinks his behavior is inappropriate is great, it tells him that someone else knows about his creepiness towards you and you did it in a way that wasn't at all rude. I'm rude as shit personally, but I am very impressed with the amount of finesse you displayed. Bravo.

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    Mind Blowing Re: nice guy or creep?

    Quote Originally Posted by SadieN View Post
    You go girl!!
    I am glad that I have finally learned to be strict when it comes to costumers, and my phone number, etc. I've put myself in a couple situations that could have turned out disastrous. It was like the horror stories that end up with girls getting raped and/or murdered, but I never got hurt. I always went with my instincts about people because I never went wrong, but STILL, I have now trained myself to act like every guy there wants to do me wrong. I figure I can't get lucky too many times and so I quit while I was ahead. I don't advise anyone to be as trusting as I once was
    Good job tellin creeper to F OFF lol

    I had to learn the hard way too. A few months ago a customer tried to run me over because I "didn't like him the way he liked me". From now on, I don't socialize with custies. It's not worth the risk.
    "Some people say what I do isn't very liberating. I say it's pretty liberating to get $20,000 for 10 minutes of work." - Dita Von Teese

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