ve been with my guy for four years. We've been through a lot together and have overcome a lot of issues as well...except for one issue; he is not sure he ever wants to get married. I've had an "idea" about this for years, but he confirmed it verbally last weekend ("I'm not sure I'll EVER want to get married."). To some degree, I understand this. We are both products of divorced families, with his Mom being divorced three times. Since moving to L.A. together, we have no friends around us that are happily married, but it seems that everyone around us is getting a divorce, including his sister. Fucking figures, of course. So there's not a lot of "happy vibes" about marriage going on around us right now.
My guy is hell bent on NEVER having to go through a divorce. That's what he says is at the core of this issue for him.
I do want to get married. I'm 30..not sure if I ever want kids, but am a total sap. Marriage is such a romantic gesture; the thought of someone asking you to spend the rest of your life with them is really beautiful. I do want that. The thing is, do I want it bad enough to end a relationship that is really great, otherwise? He does not seem like he is going to budge on this, and says the probability of him proposing within a year or two is unlikely. Could happen, but unlikely.
The thing that hurts is that he actually suggested that we should "go look at rings," a few months ago. Now he doesn't know if he ever wants to get married. I have an idea that this change of heart might have been because I was too pushy about marriage in between then and now. Plus, I'm not the easiest person to live with; I have my quirks and difficulties. Maybe the combo of these two things scared him off of it. Still, the change of heart hurts, and I'd be lying if I said I was not feeling some resentment toward him right now. He never should have said anything about looking for rings. it feels like a betrayal in some way.
I feel it's worth mentioning again, this issue aside; this guy is really great; supportive, loving, genuinely caring, and is bent on making sure that I am happy. I don't want to leave him, but I'm scared that eventually I will want to get married badly, and what if he's still not there yet? What would you guys do?



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Nice try. I told him he can either get engaged to me or move alone. I'm not holding my breath, but it feels good to stand up for myself.

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