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Thread: Romance on the Job

  1. #51
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    But isn't there a truism that strippers laugh at nice guys and hold them in disdain but love assholes? Maybe there is method to his madness

    FBR
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    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    You may be onto something there FBR.

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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    But isn't there a truism that strippers laugh at nice guys and hold them in disdain but love assholes? Maybe there is method to his madness

    FBR
    Not all, but many, young women have a soft spot for bad boys and see nice guys as undatable material. I've never pretended to understand it.

    When I was much younger I was a clean cut nice guy to a fault. I dated but never got any major play. I tarted up. Grew a porno mustache [it was the late70s]. Strapped a Harley between my knees and still treated women decent, just not nice. I stopped being available [the most important change], opening doors, and insisting to pay for everything all the time, stuff like that. I treated them pretty much the way I treated my male friends and not as someone "special" simply by virtue of their gender. I added a bit more confidence to the mix and all of a sudden I had as many dates as I wanted.

    It has to be something about young women because as I, and they, got older more and more of them wanted someone who was actually ready to be a companion and not a bad boy to convert into a puppy [which isn't happening]. They began to appreciate it more if I went out of my way to be chivalrous, particularly polite, or offered to pick up the check and they showed it.

    That's why I much prefer women around my own age. Young'uns may be very attractive but too many of them don't know up from down where men are concerned. [sorry... just my opinion]
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  4. #54
    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    "Nice" is code for insecure, manipulative, passive aggressive, pathetic, spineless, and clingy. "Nice guys" are the same as assholes, but they do things in a different way and are more transparent.

    That's why we sometimes end up with assholes in an attempt to find someone who is genuinely caring, confident, honest, and independent. Assholes are better at tricking us.
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

  5. #55
    Member Cat2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by chris91 View Post
    "Nice" is code for insecure, manipulative, passive aggressive, pathetic, spineless, and clingy.
    This is an excellent description!
    I personally think that being truly nice is one of most sexual traits man can have when is it comes from a strong person. Most of the times "nice" used to cover up lack of personality

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  7. #56
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    I like Chris' description--I meet so many guys who are "nice guys"...which is SOOOO unattractive. The real people out there are the ones who aren't "nice" all of the time--aka "good" guys... I don't want someone who is overly romantic, bows down to my every 'need,' will do 'anything' for me, etc. Bleh!

    Coming from someone who has dated a "bad" guy, but generally dates "good" guys, I find that the attraction came from the glimpses of good you see in the bad boy. There's something intriguing about people who take a little bit of work to open up. There's a sense of accomplishment whenever you succeed in getting bad boys to open up to you. These tend to be love/hate relationships, but they can be fairly addicting. Like swinging on the monkey bars-- each good interacton holds you out until the next one. Obviously this isn't good for longevity--but hey: I learned a hell of a lot from that relationship, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Good experience to have. Made me realize what I DO want.

    Most women want good guys who have a little bit of an edge to them. Nice is boring. Good, on the other hand, is stable, self-sufficient, confident, etc.

  8. #57
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    damn you people are confusing!!!

    Asshole=bad
    Nice=asshole

    Bad boy that will probably fuck you over unless you can bring the good out of him if indeed he has any in the first place------------Well Damn that right there is dating material.



    lets turn it around---when we go into a stripclub.

    Asshole stripper----yeah thats pretty much bad
    Nice stripper-----All stripper shit and oh so transparent.

    Bad stripper that will fuck us over unless we can convince her that she actually is a good person and wants to be with us-----------Woohoo thats what turns us on!!!!!


    okay you all got a point!

  9. #58
    Member Cat2008's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    ^^I thought all strippers by definition are bad)

    Turning things around, I will not believe that you would be seriously in love with someone who does exactly what you or anybody else want. Not because she would want alway the same thing that you like but because she is insecure and afraid to be assertive. You'll get bored soon. Although as a companion she would be probably perfect for you.

    Speaking of strip clubs I myself giving impression of being "nice". Well, half of the time this impression come from the fact that I keep my mouth shut on things with which i disagree, so it will not screw up my money. "Nice" can be deceiving. With asshole stripper you know honest truth about yourself. Give her credit for that!

  10. #59
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Turning things around, I will not believe that you would be seriously in love with someone who does exactly what you or anybody else want. Not because she would want alway the same thing that you like but because she is insecure and afraid to be assertive. You'll get bored soon.
    Amen sista


    Although as a companion she would be probably perfect for you.
    You would think---but i like a woman that looks me in the eye and says you are dead ass wrong on this one and i am not backing down. Especially when i am wrong---Yeah ever once in a while that happens. There is nothing worse than someone that has given up their own will for someone else. If your BF/GF does that to you then i do not believe they love you in the first place.

    Also when i say give up your will----i mean all of it. I realize that a strong relationship starts with both partners giving to each other---but when one side is blatantly abusing it----then thats different.

  11. #60
    Veteran Member commanderadama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Lots of people like a challenge. I totally agree so called nice guys are not. Most are usually sociopaths who revel in being the victim, poor me BS blah blah. These are the same guys who say it's hard to get laid, no it isn't, simple formula, lower your standards, smile.

    For me, if you're over a size 4 or a b cup, I'm not interested outside a strip club. When I'm in a strip club I'm not even considering anything over a size 2. So my only pet peeve when in a Strip Club are the pushy over size 2 "wanna dance" girls. If I'm obviously avoiding eye contact why would they think I wanna dance? Then I say NO, so as not to waste their time and they come back? WTF?

    Being a stripper or a waitress are rough jobs, but in the right place they can be very lucrative. Women in these jobs get hit on ALL the time, usually once per shift. But I stick by my post, it's no harder hanging out with a stripper than a waitress. (both are very hard, but if you're cool it can be done.)

    Personally, I think Jack should try and find himself an Eastern European Bride.

  12. #61
    Senior Member msincredible01's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    I second the mail order bride idea.

    I have nothing (nice) to say to you wanting to find specifically a stripper as a gf. We get hit up by guys like you ALL the TIME.

    Little side fact- I didn't meet my bf at the club...he never goes to strip clubs...only went twice for bachlor partys. He was a total asshole to me. Complete asshole. Looks like a bad boy guy too, tattoos crazy hair (all very sexyy ofcourse) then i got him to crack open...he got me to crack open and he's the NICEST guy i've ever met. Ever. So assholes can be nice guys. the best kind of nice guys. oh yea and "bad boys" fcuk better

  13. #62
    Senior Member msincredible01's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    LoL...get tattoos and piercings and quit ur job. You'll attract us like a magnet.

  14. #63
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by chris91 View Post
    Assholes are better at tricking us.
    Six words that speak volumes. You nailed it, chris.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  15. #64
    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post

    Personally, I think Jack should try and find himself an Eastern European Bride.
    Jack, this is the best advice yet. If you're looking for a girl who who will listen to you whine about your past relationships and stroke your ego all day, then a mail order bride would be the holy grail, as they are on the clock 24 hours a day.

    I mean, do you really those two strippers you met would treat their boyfriends the same way they treated you? Of course not. We put up with all kinds of crap in the club that we would never ever put up with in real life. That includes excessive neediness.
    - SW members get 10% off with code SWEB

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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    I'm still new at this but I wouldn't date a guy who frequented the club...Ever. Not seriously anyway...Maybe for the money if I also enjoyed his company, but never the L-word! *shudder*

    Though, a guy I was seeing before I started dancing sort of disappeared on me for a while...I thought it was over, for that reason only when he asked to hang out after a few weeks of no contact I told him I was busy with my new job, and told him the name of club I worked at.

    He came in that night, looked INCREDIBLY uncomfortable the entire time and said over and over he's not the kind of man that goes to strip clubs, but he wanted another chance with me and that's why he came in. His discomfort was possibly the biggest turn-on ever, only because I knew it was genuine and just plain adorable...he wore it well. Probably isn't going to work though just because I don't think he has it in him to not get jealous, and I need the $$$ more than the man!

    Moral to my anecdote....You're probably SOL.

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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    So...I guess my take for the nice guy v.s. asshole thing...The assholes get play for a while but then I get sick of it. The nice guys win me over every time. I'm aware that's rare, but I don't think it should be!

  18. #67
    Veteran Member Ruby Ruckus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    most guys are nice guys, and most guys are assholes. there's two sides to every coin. i just feel like guys that insist and feel the need to prove that they're nice guys generally aren't. plus the phrase is usually combined with some sort of complaint. "why won't you date me, i'm a nice guy." it's a guilt trip clause.

    if you're a nice guy, i will figure it out. you don't have to tell me. if you're an asshole, i'll figure that out too. if you are both, which is probable, i can understand that. but let me decide for myself what you are and what you aren't.
    "If she wants to dance and drink all night, well there's no one that can stop her. She's going til the house lights come up or her stomach spills onto the floor. This night is gonna end when we're damn well ready for it to be over, worked all week long, and now the music is playing on our time. Yeah we do what we do to get by, and then we need a release!" - Against Me!, "Thrash Unreal"

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by commanderadama View Post
    Lots of people like a challenge. I totally agree so called nice guys are not. Most are usually sociopaths who revel in being the victim, poor me BS blah blah.
    Exactly. I've met soooo many of these people, it's not even funny.

  20. #69
    Veteran Member Lurker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    To summarize: a significant plurality of dancers date customers. The chance that any individual customer will date a dancer is extremely low. The subset of customers most likely to do so are big spenders who are polite, good looking, and intelligent/funny.
    "All this time you were pretending
    So much for my happy ending."
    --Avril Lavigne

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    I agree will most everyone, but...
    If you are interested, do not buy dances from her! Pay her for her time because that is considerate. Pay her what ever the dances cost, but just talk to her and keep your hands to yourself. If there is a real connection and she in single, she might. If you really want to date someone, paying them to work hard to be your sexual object is not the right path.

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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    deleted
    Last edited by bigbangburrito; 07-01-2013 at 12:19 PM.

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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by bigbangburrito View Post
    I'd say us dancers are brilliant people readers. We have interacted with hundreds and thousands of males. With each, we act like we are on a date. It's like we have had the experience of dating thousands of guys. We have heard all the lines. We know how to read your body language and how to fake ours. We act and pretend. You will think we really like you, want to date you or f*ck you. Don't believe it, we are just acting out your fantasy for you. You think women play games? Strippers are the best at it.
    Yay - truth.

    I've been interested in body language for 30 years, and I've always found non-verbal communication in SC's absolutely fascinating.

    Dancers give off an almost caricatured version of flirtation/attraction signals and the great majority of guys fall for them uncritically. It's very much a case of behaving like the stereotypical dancer in order to maximize earnings.

    And in response you see guys responding to the manufactured flirtation signals with more genuine ones of their own. I suspect it's this response that allows the more perceptive dancers to maximize their success rate in asking for dances.

    Knowing body language as I do, I'm afraid I find SC's more amusing than arousing - but I suspect 95% of men walking in suspend their critical facilities.

    Phil.

    And as a PS to this, I've sometimes taught dancers about body language - and even I have been surprised about how rapidly men respond to a change in a dancers 'signals'.

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    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by Cat2008 View Post
    I personally think that being truly nice is one of most sexual traits man can have when is it comes from a strong person. Most of the times "nice" used to cover up lack of personality
    Most of the women I know who have figured that out are a good sprint past 30. Which was the point above and why I prefer, for serious relationships, woman that age or older.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

  25. #74
    God/dess Golden_Rule's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Coming from someone who has dated a "bad" guy, but generally dates "good" guys, I find that the attraction came from the glimpses of good you see in the bad boy.
    You see though, Charlie, that sounds like a young woman talking to me.

    What you might find later on is that it isn't a glimpse you need to see. You need to see that at the core he is a good man. He can have a rough, or "interesting" exterior, but inside he has the things that are going to make him a good, long term, companion.

    80%'ers I call people like myself [as a take off on the 1%'er biker thing]. Only 20% bad ass, and the other 80% is someone you could take home to mother.

    [BTW, I appreciate the same in a woman... A little bad ass is a good thing if you don't have to deal with it 24/7/365 ]
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Romance on the Job

    ^^ Trust me, the bad boy was an experimental phase I went through. Dated him for about a year, and I never did anything with him beyond kissing. I knew not to commit myself physically or emotionally to someone like that! It was fun for awhile, but I soon got sick of it and ended the relationship.

    Been there, done that.

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