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Thread: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

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    Default how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    Anyone else out there who shares a bed with a noisy partner? Any advice/ideas would be awesome.

    As of now, I always end up leaving his place and going home in the middle of the night b/c I cannot fall asleep. Which makes him feel really bad (understandable, b/c it's not something that he can control)...and then I also feel bad for making him feel bad and I'm tired from not getting any sleep.

    He's tried several things to keep from snoring (breathing strips, running a humidifier, sleeping in different positions...) and I've tried to just get used to it, but so far no luck. It's weird b/c I've always been able to fall asleep easily in noisy environments. I lived in dorms for 3 years and had no problem falling asleep while my roommates were having parties or watching TV with the lights on, or our neighbors were having band practice, or construction was going on outside...snoring is the only noisy thing in the world that I just can't deal with.

    Now we're talking about getting an apartment together, but neither of us like the idea of sleeping in separate bedrooms. Anyone with a similar problem? How did you make it work?

    I've pretty much accepted that he can't change this, so any ideas that might help me get used to it and/or tune out the noise would be so much appreciated.

    (Edited to add: besides earplugs. I've tried that, and I have no idea how anyone can fall asleep with foam stuck in their ears. )

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    If you really think this is a serious problem, maybe he can go to a doctor to see if anything can be done to make him stop.

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    My last boyfriend snored. I mean, everyone I've dated has snored a little, but nothing that a little elbow and roll-over couldn't cure. But my ex snored so loudly, I could hear him through earplugs, a closed door and 20 feet away in the next room, and he snored ALL NIGHT LONG, beginning literally 5 minutes after his head hit the pillow. I had no chance whatsoever to even try to get sleep. When we stayed at my place, I slept on the couch. When we stayed at his place (he had roommates, so I had to stay in his room), I didn't sleep at all. After 6 months, I finally couldn't take it anymore and said no more sleepovers until he got treated for sleep apnea (which I knew he had, since I heard his breathing pause several times during the nights I laid awake being forced to listen to him).

    The answer: separate bedrooms or a different partner. Seriously. Look, it's not his fault and it's not yours--but sleep is a biological imperative. You can't go without it. Loss of sleep causes weight gain, heart problems and a depressed immune system, to say nothing of the impact on cognitive functions (being fuzzy-headed from lack of sleep).

    Having separate bedrooms might impact intimacy to a point, but wouldn't it be way better to just understand the issue, get your snuggling and nookie in before bed (or first thing in the morning, or at noon, whenever) and then just retire to your respective rooms for the actual sleeping? Certainly better than one partner constantly being sleep-deprived and becoming resentful and having her health impacted, and for what? Knowing that someone is in the same bed while you lie unconscious for 8 hours?

    I second the idea of telling him to see a doctor about it. He should do everything he can to mitigate the snoring, not only for your sake but for his own. A serious snoring problem is an indication of a problem in oxygen delivery, and that can ALSO cause heart problems and other health issues. (Sleep apnea suffers run a major risk of heart attack and heart failure because of the stress caused in trying to breathe properly.)

    I agree that it's a tough issue with some serious compromises no matter what you decide. I personally will never, never, never date a snorer again. His snoring wasn't the sole reason I broke up with my ex, but after 6 months of no sleep 2-3x a week, the prospect of spending the rest of my life that way was absolutely not an option. It became a major incompatibility that, combined with others that came up over the relationship, made me decide it wasn't working out, and I left. Maybe your guy is super-awesome and the snoring is the only problem. If so, it would be worth it to see if you could find a way around this. But don't compromise your own health just to save his feelings and the relationship. That's just not the way to go.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    I snore (badly I'm told).

    When I'm with someone I've trained myself to sleep face down. This keeps my airway open and stops the noise.

    A folk remedy for this is to sew big buttons, walnut shells etc onto the back of someone's pajamas, t-shirt, etc, so that if they roll over onto their back the discomfort wakes them up.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    Just as a precaution:

    If his snoring is bad enough to keep you awake, there is the possibility that he has some sort of disorder. Sleep apnea is very common in men, and can cause god-awful snoring. But it can progress to something much more serious, like trouble breathing, temporary stopped breathing, etc. So you may want to tell him to get the heck to a doctor.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    I always fall asleep waaay after my boyfriend does, too!

    Except he doesn't snore, he sleeptalks and sleepkisses. ALOT. He has full conversations with invisible people, and it's always totally random, ridiculous shit that comes out of his mouth. And I always write it down because I think it's so funny!

    Yesterday he said, "I'll buy you more ginger, don't worry! If one sneezes, the other one sneezes, too. Yeah, I think you should sleep on the outside. Awww. You're sweet."

    and, "I think I'll arrange these.. according to size. Turkeys, coming up the spiral staircase! What is... NAK NAK NAK NAK. What! Did you get so flustered? It's okay! You can make a collage! On my body!"


    Sorry I don't have any suggestions for you! I don't know how to cure sleeptalking boyfriend, either!

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    ^^^ LOL! Cure him? I'd be putting him on YouTube.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    My husband does every once in a while and it isn't for too long but just long enough to wake me up. I shake that man man and wake his ass up to tell him he is snoring and then he falls back asleep and poof...no more snoring. ^_^

    Used to do the same to my older sister too lol. We used to share a room.





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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    You girls are actually SLEEPING with them? I thought you just 'slept' with them. No wonder.

    They are orgasming too hard and getting to sleep too fast and hard. Get your own orgasm that night and promise (and give) them theirs in the morning. You'll go to sleep right away, while they are still fantasizing about the next morning's fun. If they start snoring and wake you up, start playing with their organs just to wake them up and remind them of how much fun it will be in the morning.

    Oh, and let us know right away if that works.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    (at both the sleeptalking boyfriend and therelayer's suggestion!)

    My first thought was sleep apnea as well. But he's been checked out for it and told that he doesn't have sleep apnea, so it's not that.

    Aviendha, yeah he is absolutely fantastic and the snoring is the only problem I've ever had with him...but you're right. It would strain the relationship more if we kept trying to force ourselves to share a bed, than if we just slept in different rooms. I keep trying to sleep with him b/c I don't want to hurt his feelings by leaving in the middle of the night...but the alternative is: he keeps me awake, and my tossing and turning then wakes him up, so we're both miserable and cranky and sleep-deprived. I know for a fact I am a whiny annoying mess and it's not fun to be around me when I get less than a whole night's sleep for even one night.

    The way you put it, seperate rooms doesn't sound that bad. We can always get our cuddles (and other things ) in before we go to sleep and crawl into each other's beds again in the morning.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    maybe you should turn him over. my man snores quite loud cause he works long hours and he's dead tired when he goes to bed. he always said to turn him over if he starts to snore really loud.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    I always thought separate bedrooms sounded like a great idea. You each get your own room to decorate however you want, you each get a giant bed all to yourselves, not to mention your own space, and you can make all kinds of occasions out of visiting each other. It'd be like your own "man" and "woman" cave.

    A number of houses being built these days have two master's suites, for the very reason that one partner snores and neither person wants to put up with it or get stuck on the couch. Others have "snoring rooms" which is basically a small bedroom off the master suite, though I'm not sure who gets stashed in there--the snorer or the listener.

    I've done the "shake and wake" method on previous snoring boyfriends as well, because they would only snore at certain times. That worked. For the serious, all-night-long snoring, though, that just doesn't work. If I elbowed my snoring ex, he'd wake up, fall right back to sleep and start snoring again in 60 seconds.

    Gah, just thinking about it makes my head hurt. It was a great day when I threw out my package of earplugs knowing I'd never have to use 'em again. But you know what's ironic? My cat snores! Loudly! I can hear him from the other room! But he doesn't mind when I make him sleep on the couch.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    If he has tested neg on sleep apnea, have him go to his dentist and ask for one of these: http://www.glidewelldental.com/denti...lent-nite.aspx

    It's a pliable thermo-formed nightguard which keeps the airway open. The dentist needs to send his case to a lab that does this type of appliance. This particular lab is Glidewell in So. Cal and they receive mail order work from all over the country. Don't know the retail cost, but medical insurance may pick up part of it.

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    My boyfriend snores loudly too. I just hit him really hard in the chest, it shuts him up for about 4 minutes (I timed it) and if it wakes him up he says you woke me up! and i say you woke ME up! lol also moving his shoulder back so it opens up his chest helps, but not for as long as hitting him.
    I also wear earplugs, and go to bed first and he comes later so when he comes to bed im actually sleeping rather than trying to fall asleep with the snoring.
    I actually sleep better with earplugs now and fall asleep faster cuz when I wear them I can hear my heartbeat, so I just count heartbeats to 100 and back to 0 and back to 100 and usually by the 3rd time to 100 im asleep, which is super fast for me cuz usually it takes me an hour to fall asleep without doing that

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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    well, i think everyone has some very good ideas on here. my boyfriend occassionally snores, but it's very light.... i find that having a fan on for white noise helps.

    good luck!

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    Senior Member AngelWithHorns's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to get sleep when your partner snores?

    Maybe you could get him to try Breathe Right nasal strips? They're supposed to help snorers/allergy sufferers keep the nasal passages open. Also there's usually a little coupon for more as a promotional "Take the Two Week Challenge" or whatever, promising that it enhances sleep.


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