meeting a quality partner...

[hustlebunny]

I want to meet someone just as smart as me or smarter, striving for success in something just as hard as I am or more successful than I am... However, most of my close friends who i've known since teen years( I can count em on one hand), are mentally, spiritually where I WAS (Great hearts but glass half empty, clinging to ism's as valid reasons for not being further along, etc). I tend to like being home if not working. I know, I know how am I gonna meet anyone if I isolate!!! Part of it has been guys have had an issue w/dancing whether they admit it or not. Sometimes we just weren't compatible.

I don't know what kind of activities I would do to meet the kinds of guys i'd want to be in relationship with... I'm 34 so , well past my nightclub stage. How does one change social circles? Thoughts?

[InTheSpirit]

1. Volunteer for a cause you feel passionate about. If you meet a guy there, you'll already have something in common to talk about that isn't as flaky as "partying".

2. Work out. I tend to be wary of meeting the "gym rats" but if you can run/walk/bike/rollerblade outside at a park or something then you'll usually meet guys that are committed to running and not just scoping out girls. (Well, at least that's not their first priority...)

3. Not sure where you live in NY but if you're in the city or somewhere else that has a theater scene then go check out a show. You can mingle before the show begins, during intermission, or afterward.

4. Go to the coffee shop or bookstore and keep your eye out.

5. The library can be a good place to meet guys that are studying. (I met several guys when I was preparing for the LSAT that were med students.... they practically lived in the library!)

6. Again, not sure where you live but go to a museum you're interested in and mingle. Or, an art show.

7. Take a class at the local college that you're really interested in and see who you meet there.


I guess a common thread for all of my ideas is to do things that you are genuinely interested in and excited to do. Do it primarily for yourself (v. specifically to meet someone) and your energy will shine through. Plus, you'll be meeting like-minded people!

Good luck!

[Kylea2]

I know one really great place to meet people... philanthropy balls, galas & other events.

The other thing I would say is to see if there is a professional match maker in your area. Usually these people will know who is who and have already screened all of their potentials - which is nice because then you don't have to. I know there are a ton of internet dating sites, but I think using a professional is MUCH better since they usually already know who the most eligible are which are available in the city.

Beyond just college classes you could also try taking educational expansion classes, things offered at like the museum and botanical gardens.

Have you tried joining interest groups? There are a ton of groups around that are based on people's hobbies like book clubs, photography clubs, travel groups. One of those would be a good possibility too.

[hustlebunny]

Thanks for the ideas...huh,never thought of pro matchmaker...interesting....

[angelicat]

Surprisingly, I met mine at work.

[Crow2]

Do you like guy stuff? Cars, cigars and some other things that are typically male?

Car shows, cigar shops and wine tasting events. These things and events have tons of single guys that first off, have the same interest that you do and who knows. You might meet somebody cool.

[hustlebunny]

ya know these things seem like common sense but I am such a home body that it never occurred to me! I found an fundraiser that i am going to go to and am on the look out for more events like the ones suggested. How is it my anon. cyber friends are damn near cooler than my real world friends....could be cuz their strippers !!!

[hockeybobby]

You can meet cool guys online too It's happening more and more these days.

[Crow2]

You can meet cool guys online too It's happening more and more these days.

Too many horror stories there ...
besides, if I'm looking for a partner - when I first meet him, I want to see his face. Look at him. Watch him interact with others. These things I can not do in an on-line meeting.

[Crow2]

I want to meet someone just as smart as me or smarter, striving for success in something just as hard as I am or more successful than I am... However, most of my close friends who i've known since teen years( I can count em on one hand), are mentally, spiritually where I WAS (Great hearts but glass half empty, clinging to ism's as valid reasons for not being further along, etc). I tend to like being home if not working. I know, I know how am I gonna meet anyone if I isolate!!! Part of it has been guys have had an issue w/dancing whether they admit it or not. Sometimes we just weren't compatible.

I don't know what kind of activities I would do to meet the kinds of guys i'd want to be in relationship with... I'm 34 so , well past my nightclub stage. How does one change social circles? Thoughts?

Any luck? Met anybody you like? Updates!!!

[glambman]

Well, I have the worst luck with women, imagine that. I dated one twice 4-5 years apart. She was the only woman I ever told 'I love you' to. She was within a year of me. The second time we dated, she was the oldest woman I ever dated (25), and she still holds the record for that. lol

With that said, I met a woman who was almost 30. She was almost perfect. She had implants and bleached hair, but I was willing to overlook them because everything else was perfect. She was fun, a blast to be around. But, after seeing her for a few days, I found out she was a stripper/ adult model/ porn actress. When I pulled her up on a free adult full video site, there she was, doing 5 guys. oral/ vaginal/ greek/ ATM/ dp/ swallow. ewwwww

[Crow2]

Well, I have the worst luck with women, imagine that. I dated one twice 4-5 years apart. She was the only woman I ever told 'I love you' to. She was within a year of me. The second time we dated, she was the oldest woman I ever dated (25), and she still holds the record for that. lol

With that said, I met a woman who was almost 30. She was almost perfect. She had implants and bleached hair, but I was willing to overlook them because everything else was perfect. She was fun, a blast to be around. But, after seeing her for a few days, I found out she was a stripper/ adult model/ porn actress. When I pulled her up on a free adult full video site, there she was, doing 5 guys. oral/ vaginal/ greek/ ATM/ dp/ swallow. ewwwww

The point of this was.........

[glambman]

The point of this was.........

Memories and funny experiences...........

[inThePine]

bunny, i'm having exactly the same problem! My group of friends from high school just sit around and drink and talk badly about whoever isn't there. They're emotionally still in high school and don't seem to want anything out of life, at least nothing that isn't handed to them. Aside from that, I'm moving up north in a week so I'll be super lonely for awhile, and i too am a homebody so I'm looking for every tip i can to help me meet ppl. These are great tips! Thanks everyone!
and good luck hustle bunny, you're not alone

[AkashaM]

www.meetup.com

its a site for various interest groups and classes. Its pretty active.

[Raysworld]

I want to meet someone just as smart as me or smarter, striving for success in something just as hard as I am or more successful than I am... However, most of my close friends who i've known since teen years( I can count em on one hand), are mentally, spiritually where I WAS (Great hearts but glass half empty, clinging to ism's as valid reasons for not being further along, etc). I tend to like being home if not working. I know, I know how am I gonna meet anyone if I isolate!!! Part of it has been guys have had an issue w/dancing whether they admit it or not. Sometimes we just weren't compatible.

I don't know what kind of activities I would do to meet the kinds of guys i'd want to be in relationship with... I'm 34 so , well past my nightclub stage. How does one change social circles? Thoughts?

Unfortunately, most guys are going to have a problem dating a stripper whether they say it or not...just like you said. That has more to do with the connotation given to the industry than anything else.

One of my good friends from hs is working at a bikini bar. She is a great person, and very fun to be around. She just has convoluted thoughts about who she is and what shes worth.

Have faith in your abilities as a person, be yourself, and have no expectations. This could potentially be as bad as it gets or as good as it gets for you.

Furthermore, being that you are a little bit "older" now (only by conventional definition...i don't think you are), maybe try and become more approachable. Maybe even approach guys you think might be worthwhile.

[Crow2]

Unfortunately, most guys are going to have a problem dating a stripper whether they say it or not...just like you said. That has more to do with the connotation given to the industry than anything else.

One of my good friends from hs is working at a bikini bar. She is a great person, and very fun to be around. She just has convoluted thoughts about who she is and what shes worth.

Have faith in your abilities as a person, be yourself, and have no expectations. This could potentially be as bad as it gets or as good as it gets for you.

Furthermore, being that you are a little bit "older" now (only by conventional definition...i don't think you are), maybe try and become more approachable. Maybe even approach guys you think might be worthwhile.

Excuse me for pointing this fact out - there are TONS of "strippers" on here with SO's, BF's and the like.. So that sort of blows your "most guy" comment out of the water.

[hockeybobby]

Well, I have the worst luck with women, imagine that. I dated one twice 4-5 years apart. She was the only woman I ever told 'I love you' to. She was within a year of me. The second time we dated, she was the oldest woman I ever dated (25), and she still holds the record for that. lol

With that said, I met a woman who was almost 30. She was almost perfect. She had implants and bleached hair, but I was willing to overlook them because everything else was perfect. She was fun, a blast to be around. But, after seeing her for a few days, I found out she was a stripper/ adult model/ porn actress. When I pulled her up on a free adult full video site, there she was, doing 5 guys. oral/ vaginal/ greek/ ATM/ dp/ swallow. ewwwww

You dumped a hot chick, who was fun, and a blast to be around, because she was a porn star? Who does all the good naughty stuff? What could be more perfect?

[ArmySGT.]

I want to meet someone just as smart as me or smarter, striving for success in something just as hard as I am or more successful than I am... However, most of my close friends who i've known since teen years( I can count em on one hand), are mentally, spiritually where I WAS (Great hearts but glass half empty, clinging to ism's as valid reasons for not being further along, etc). I tend to like being home if not working. I know, I know how am I gonna meet anyone if I isolate!!! Part of it has been guys have had an issue w/dancing whether they admit it or not. Sometimes we just weren't compatible.

I don't know what kind of activities I would do to meet the kinds of guys i'd want to be in relationship with... I'm 34 so , well past my nightclub stage. How does one change social circles? Thoughts?

Professional clubs like Toastmasters, Rotary, or something else philanthropic? Book stores, outdoor stores, grocery stores. Hash Hound harriers? Business seminars?

[ArmySGT.]

You dumped a hot chick, who was fun, and a blast to be around, because she was a porn star? Who does all the good naughty stuff? What could be more perfect?

This crossed my mind too. What made ya bail? Really?

[Crow2]

You dumped a hot chick, who was fun, and a blast to be around, because she was a porn star? Who does all the good naughty stuff? What could be more perfect?

That' s what I thought. Territorial much? I think there's issues here that even Sigmund would lift a brow over.

It's a blunt day for me and forgive me for it - but I thought guys LIKED chicks that enjoyed sex and wanted it more than once a month. Or liked to fuck - and everyone calls women crazy.

I've been dumped before, but not for being a porn star!

[verfolgung]

^^^ Call me crazy, but I can at least understand where he's coming from. People have there own boundries and that's where his happens to be. Some people are more monogomous while others have more open relationships.

[CKXXX]

It's a blunt day for me and forgive me for it - but I thought guys LIKED chicks that enjoyed sex and wanted it more than once a month. Or liked to fuck - and everyone calls women crazy.

I know! My husband loves it....and the fact that I actually WANT sex. And that other guys are out there fantasizing about me and sending me fan mail telling me how much they love me....but its HIS arms and only his arms I'm snuggling up into at night.

^^^ Call me crazy, but I can at least understand where he's coming from. People have there own boundries and that's where his happens to be. Some people are more monogomous while others have more open relationships.

Thats all fine...it def isnt for everyone. But just say you couldnt handle it instead of being juvenile and describing her as "ewww".

[Brooke]

Online is a great place to meet people. The larger sites will have literally thousands of men in your area from which to choose, and you can screen out everyone you don't like for any reason. It would be hard NOT to meet someone with whom you are compatible at the larger sites, and the smaller sites could be even better because they are focused on a specific interest that you and the other profiles share.

It can be dangerous, but most of the sites list precautions, do's, dont's, etc to protect yourself. If you use common sense and follow the safety guidelines, it is safe. You have to get to know someone in real life (offline) before you give them too much private information like where you live or your full legal name, etc... but that is a good practice for anyone you meet socially.

[babybambi08]

1. Volunteer for a cause you feel passionate about. If you meet a guy there, you'll already have something in common to talk about that isn't as flaky as "partying".

2. Work out. I tend to be wary of meeting the "gym rats" but if you can run/walk/bike/rollerblade outside at a park or something then you'll usually meet guys that are committed to running and not just scoping out girls. (Well, at least that's not their first priority...)

3. Not sure where you live in NY but if you're in the city or somewhere else that has a theater scene then go check out a show. You can mingle before the show begins, during intermission, or afterward.

4. Go to the coffee shop or bookstore and keep your eye out.

5. The library can be a good place to meet guys that are studying. (I met several guys when I was preparing for the LSAT that were med students.... they practically lived in the library!)

6. Again, not sure where you live but go to a museum you're interested in and mingle. Or, an art show.

7. Take a class at the local college that you're really interested in and see who you meet there.


I guess a common thread for all of my ideas is to do things that you are genuinely interested in and excited to do. Do it primarily for yourself (v. specifically to meet someone) and your energy will shine through. Plus, you'll be meeting like-minded people!

Good luck!

wow you have a lot of good ideas.. Im taken but those are really good... I like the volunteering one.. and studies say if you go workout to socialise your more likey to keep going..