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Thread: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

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    Duh I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    every since i started as an exotic dancer i am afraid to dance in front of my bf!!! i am hesitant to be so sexy now. lol forget the sexy xouples lap dance i feel liek i should charge him or i always wondering what if he wondering how many times i have been on another guy or how many faces have been up in my boobs??? i want to be able to be calm and sexy with him but i feel thats work and this is personal.....any hellp???

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    ^^^ Geez, I should be able to help on this, but I think a lot of us go through something similar. Any time I've had a BF and tried to dance for him I would always get far more nervous than in the clubs, and inevitably something bad would come of it.... with the exception of one time - and I think the thing that really made a difference there was that it was in a place that was neither of our "territories" so we weren't really thinking about it. Maybe try to put together a routine ahead of time and then do something special for him someplace unexpected or at a hotel.
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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    lol i got nervous when no one replied i thought no one else could relate! thank god im not the only one......i hope i get over it someday because it would be fun...but thanks for the advice!!

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    yeah i'm nervous about it too its so confusing... i know its a real turn on for them but for us its dwn right nerve racking... I like to keep work and my personal life separate so its kind of a sticky situation... but i said all this just to let you know... I FEEL YOUR PAIN lol!

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    i know how you feel!!!
    but what i've found to really help is to come up with a couple of moves and outfits JUST for him and then say things that you would ONLY say to him. let him know before hand though, it really helps my bf, to know that this is HIS dance, not what i do at work. it's probably going to take the both of you to get through the nervousness though. hope it helped!

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    i have the same problem, except i'm with a girl, and she actually asks me "is this what you do
    with the guys?" and sometimes i lie and say no, because i don't want to hurt her feelings. its
    so different being with someone you love and dancing and feeling turned on by it, than doing it
    for work, but its hard to make them understand that. it makes me feel like not dancing or being
    sexy sometimes at all at home. just being cuddly!

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    I totally relate...to the point where I actually don't dance for my SO at all.

    Have you tried baby steps? Maybe try not actually getting a super glam outfit on, complete with music. Just try playfully sitting on his lap facing him, and start dancing on him a bit. Then you can start removing clothes and have something sexy on underneath your normal clothes. This way you ease into it and make it seem more authentic and less like a performance.

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    ya sadly only when im drunk. its weird i hae done it for my old bf's or guys at a party. i think its becuase i love him i want him to know im not messing with his mind and i want to be the best gf i can be and eliminate thought of him having me with other guys.....but i think it will be so much fun once i get over this. since he loves dancers. i want to make him happy. it would make me happy too, since i could feel comfortable practicing since im new. yea i dont realyl know what my deal is....im so doing it tonight!

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    you know, this wouldn't be an issue if you dumpes him- you can do better than him
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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    Same situation. He hates my job because he gets jealous, but sometimes he asks, "Hey, you never gave me a dance!" or "When are you going to let me see you dance?" and I say of course I will but I don't have my shoes, or something like that.

    I tried starting once, but I got super self conscious because I suddenly realized that if I made it a good dance, being sexy and sensual, and letting him touch me, he will be upset because he'll figure I dance for 100 other guys a day like that. If I don't make it a good dance.. well how does that even make sense??

    So I stopped, and I'm still feeling weird about that.

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    I've had the same problem with every guy I've dated since I started dancing, so I can't help you. I have a hard time putting on any kind of "show" anymore -- talking dirty, wearing hot clothes, etc. It sucks.

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    Default Re: I am afraid to dance in front of my bf now!!! HELP

    For me, it's important that the people I date understand that my work persona is not "me." Yes, it's part of who I am...but what I do involves a service I perform for money. So it's important that my SO's not want me to bring that into our personal life. My current SO truly does not want me to dance for him, because he understands the mental switch that gets flipped when I go into my work mode.

    However, like lol1337a, I definitely experience a lack of desire when it comes to putting on any sort of performance in my personal relationship. It's a difficult divide to maintain. It's sometimes hard for me to separate the things I say at work from the things I say to my SO. I think I've gotten better at maintaining this over the years, but it's still difficult.

    I suppose any job comes with downsides, but this is the main one I've experienced. I wonder how I'd be in a relationship removed from dancing. Would I be able to dance for my SO if I weren't so concerned with who my alter-ego is and who the true me is? I want to be 100% authentic with my SO, so I don't want to dance for him...because the one who dances is just my work personality, right? Or maybe it's all part of the same person. Complicated...

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