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Thread: What am I doing wrong?

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Mind Blowing What am I doing wrong?

    I go up to customers and ask if they want company. If they say yes, I sit down and talk. I talk to them, because I don't want to ask if they want a dance right off the bat. I don't want them to seem hustled. I end up sitting with them what seems like forever, and I eventually ask them if they want a dance when it seems appropiate. I get maybe 2 dances out of them, and feel like i've wasted time. What am I doing wrong? How do i not talk to them so much, and not seem like i'm hustling them? Thanks!
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    i have the exact same problem!!

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    Member tlove0113's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I usually wait a couple of songs and then ask. If they say no, I tell them I'll let them get acclimated to the club or that I want to freshen up and will check back with them later. I'll then go back to the dressing room for a minute or go to another part of the club and on to the next guy. Just make sure you come back to them, they may be ready after the second try.

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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Three song rule - no drink or dance? Politely excuse yourself, say .. " Honey, I've loved spending time with you but I have to go see if someone else wants to play too." Or some other sort of niceness.

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    ^ yep. also rememeber that you're in control and can stop the convo if needbe. there've been times when i've been too "nice" and let guys keep talking, since they didn't seem to stop. i thought it would be rude to cut-in, but that's what leads to burnout, at least in my case - when I feel like I'm working hard pleasing people for nothing.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    First, don't ask if you can sit down because it gives them the opportunity to say no. Keep tabs on who is where. If another dancer left her drink at the table or something, went to the bathroom, don't approach yet. If he's been alone for a bit then go up, introduce yourself, ask his name, sit down, and talk with him for a few songs. Then ask if he's interested in a private dance. If he says no then talk for a bit, tell him you'll check with him later and that you "have to get back to work"... which easily excuses you from the table and conversation. Easy in, easy out.
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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    What if he does buy you a drink and keeps talking? Then it seems rude to just get up and leave. I know! That's why I haven't been making good $. I also have gained weight, so there goes my confidence that I used to have.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I used to try and sit 3 songs/drink. Now it's more like 2 unless it's with someone I already know. Time = money. When I'm finished a drink, I usually push it towards the end of the bar so he can get the hint to buy me a new one. If he doesn't ask if I want another one when the bartender comes around, I ask him if I can get another one, or I ask whatever else I want out of him. No drink, no talkie.

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    What if they buy you another drink, and still just want to talk and talk... I want to go up to guys and ask do you want a dance? after I sit with a guy too long, because I want to catch up and make some money. I know... I think I'm being too nice to them.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I keep forgetting clubs aren't all like mine where you have to get a min # of drinks or pay out. Just politely excuse yourself and say thanks for the conversation or whatever, then leave. If you want to ask for a dance, do so. The ball is IN YOUR PARK ... always remember that.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by redhothoney View Post
    What if he does buy you a drink and keeps talking? Then it seems rude to just get up and leave. I know! That's why I haven't been making good $. I also have gained weight, so there goes my confidence that I used to have.
    Depends on if there is a drink minimum that you have to sell. Normally though I would say don't worry about the drink, just excuse yourself. If you are worried about gaining weight opt for something none alcoholic that is either low in sugar or go for juice and ask the waitress for extra ice so you don't get as much. You can also ask the bartender to water down the drinks for you but if the customer finds out they might get upset.
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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    usually towards the end of the drink if they seem too comfortable talking to me then I will try to get them back on track to dancing and remind them that I want to be dancing. What works best for me is if we are conversing and they say something that I can jokingly turn around into a dance request, kind of in the same way men can turn things you say into a pick up line. For instance a guy yesterday was talking about what he liked to drive, and I responded with "Speaking of driving, I want to drive you over there for a dance" with a wink and smile. Its cheesy and goofy, but if you can make something like that work in context then its a good way to quickly turn a boring conversation into a dance.

    If that isnt your style or you are talking to a guy who is very serious and wouldnt appreciate something like that, I will comment towards the end of the drink about how i feel like dancing or something to that effect then after im done ask for the dance. Or I will wait until the beginning of the next song and say "OOh! I love this song! Can I please give you a dance to it?" or "I cant listen to this song wihtout dancing, its too hot..." or something to that effect. It usually seems like a better way of interrupting them and getting them in dance mode.

    And if they say no to these, like was said before, just politely excuse yourself and say you have to get back to work.

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I don't have a drink minimum to sell, maybe some liquid courage to help me get more balsy to say let's go dance, I love this song. How did I become so shy lol? I used to work sober and be fine, but my body looked way better.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by redhothoney View Post
    I don't have a drink minimum to sell, maybe some liquid courage to help me get more balsy to say let's go dance, I love this song.

    Nah, you don't need liquid courage to do it. Look at it this way: every rejection gets you closer to the guy who will say YES. In any sales job, you will get more people saying "no" than "yes." I think the statistic is that generally in sales there are 9 rejections to every sale!

    So just look at the NO as a success, because now you can quit wasting time on that guy and find the guy who WILL spend money.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    How long have you danced ? I have another sales job in addition to my occasional dancing job and it took me TWO YEARS to stop stinging from rejection associated with the lost sales. I hope you make faster progress, but literally .... if you do sales for long enough, you just won't care about why someone turned you down ect. Your thinking just starts turning to understanding that you need a large enough volume of sales closed and you'll be good. It becomes non-emotional. It's hard to explain , but you can break out of that barrier as you get more experience in sales and you literally just won't care. You won't let people take too much of your time for free either because it screws with the sales volumes you are trying to hit. This is my 6th year in sales. I'm not a super successful dancer because I haven't worked a ton, but the concept is still the same for any sales gig you do. Hopefully that helps a bit.

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I will put everything you all said into action tonight.
    Try not to waste too much time at the table
    three songs and that's the time limit before leaving if I don't do a dance
    Go up to each customer 9 rejects equals one sale
    Not care if i'm rejected, because atleast i didn't waste time with that person
    remember that the ball is in my court
    let them know i want to dance not talk!
    THANKS SO MUCH!!! you all are always soooo helpful. What would I do without you girlies?
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    After the drink is gone - you ask the nice man if he wants a dance.. Also remember to ask ( when your asking to sit ) if he is waiting on someone. Brownie points for you in the customers eyes.

    Simple.

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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I'm so glad you asked this question. And these are good tips. I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel that when I'm with a customer I make them feel so comfortable that they forget that I am half naked with my boobs 'hanging' out but that I'm just a friend hanging out with them at a bar and not a strip club. Then I get into the thought that, "hey, I'm supposed to be making money not hanging out at a bar. I'm at a strip club!"

    Thank you for asking this question

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I did put everything into perspective at work, and I did great. One thing that happened was this man wanted something i wasn't going to give him, i didn't let him know that, i just played dumb and worked my way around my answer, when he found out that i dont do that, he bought two dances and tipped me twenty for my time. He might not have gotten what he wanted, but i did! haha.
    REDHOTHONEY

    Quote Originally Posted by MichelleJade View Post
    In my opinion, there are no normal strippers though... it's like a bag of jelly beans, they're all made of sugar but come in all different colors and flavors. (I think I'd be the root beer kind... mmmmm.)

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    Nah, you don't need liquid courage to do it. Look at it this way: every rejection gets you closer to the guy who will say YES. In any sales job, you will get more people saying "no" than "yes." I think the statistic is that generally in sales there are 9 rejections to every sale!

    So just look at the NO as a success, because now you can quit wasting time on that guy and find the guy who WILL spend money.
    That's a really interesting way to look at it!

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    Veteran Member knp001's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by exotica268 View Post
    ^ yep. also rememeber that you're in control and can stop the convo if needbe. there've been times when i've been too "nice" and let guys keep talking, since they didn't seem to stop. i thought it would be rude to cut-in, but that's what leads to burnout, at least in my case - when I feel like I'm working hard pleasing people for nothing.
    I think this is my problem! I'm having bad burnout. this thread is effing awesome!
    I do the same thing! I can't assert myself at all
    and athenathefabulous, thanks for those lines! segway-ing into the topic of a private can feel so awkward.

    redhothoney, I'm glad they worked - I'll have to try them!
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    Veteran Member charlygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Otoki View Post
    That's a really interesting way to look at it!
    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    Nah, you don't need liquid courage to do it. Look at it this way: every rejection gets you closer to the guy who will say YES. In any sales job, you will get more people saying "no" than "yes." I think the statistic is that generally in sales there are 9 rejections to every sale!

    So just look at the NO as a success, because now you can quit wasting time on that guy and find the guy who WILL spend money.
    A "no" response means that you haven't found out what he needs (pain v pleasure principle) yet in order to close him. This isn't a hotel and you're not a concierge so stop talking about his dog etc.
    Ist rule: ABC = Always Be Closing (and always keep scanning the room for your next victim).
    Read these closes - apply and find your style http://changingminds.org/disciplines...techniques.htm. Mix and match. Once you've found which ones work for your personality it'll happen.
    Last edited by charlygirl; 04-20-2009 at 05:31 AM.
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    I have this problem too, but I won't sit with them for that long b/c I work the day shift, so my custies are a bit different...they like to come in and leave quickly to get back to work.

    I'll usually try to make eye contact and smile or do a cute little wave or something to let them know I've noticed them too. I'll mosey my way over there about half way through a song, get down next to them and say something like, "Hey, I noticed that you were sitting over here by yourself and I just wanted to come say hello! My name is _____, what's yours?" Very nice to meet you! Thank you so much for coming in today and having lunch with us. Are you gonna stay for awhile? (at which point they usually say, "No, I was about to head back to the office.") Aww, that's too bad! I'd love to give you a couple of dances before you go...a new song is about to start. Come with me back there (point to back of club) where it's a little more private...

    They usually bite right then and go for it, but if they don't, I'll tell them it was great to see them there and to make sure and come back on Friday for our crawfish boil and pool party or whatever promo we have going...lol. They are usually pretty happy to hear about a pool party with half naked girls swimming around and typically come back to see what it's all about.

    If they've gotten some dances from me, I'll thank them and give them two passes to waive their cover charge the next time they come back...one for them and one for a friend. That is a great sales tool and is awesome from a customer service aspect.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    There are a million different ways to work your shift. Here's what worked for me:

    1. Non-business opening line. I wouldn't ask if I could sit for a minute, I would offer a compliment or ask a trivia question to get the customer talking. Try to make the trivia question easy enough that even a drunk person could answer with confidence. Consider the age of the person you're asking the question. A question like "I can't remember the name of the 4th Beatle. It's George, Paul, John and??? Can you help me?" would be great for anyone over 40, for instance. This has a couple of effects; it makes the customer feel good about his common knowledge and he feels good because he has helped you in a small way, and helping people feels good.

    2. Introduce yourself. Make sure your handshake is a one that conveys warmth, confidence and sex appeal. It is hard to explain how this is accomplished on a web forum. Too firm of a handshake can be intimidating and too limp says that you are nervous or have low self esteem. Not sure how to shake hands? Ask the top earner to evaluate your handshake and learn from her by shaking hands. There is so much body language that is conveyed from the simple act of shaking hands, that getting this part right all by itself will get you more dances.

    3. Eye contact, body language and let the customer talk about himself. Show interest in him through eye contact that isn't shy but don't stare him down. A soft gaze is better than a hard stare. Ask him something not too personal, yet something of interest to the customer. If he is wearing a sports logo, ask about that. If he is in a business suit ask him how he picks out his clothes and tell him you like his fashion sense, stuff like that. If he wants to talk politics, at first disagree with his political stance, then let him "win you over" to his way of thinking. Do not, under any circumstances reveal your personal political feelings to your customer, if you want to make the sale. Even if you agree with him, people who enjoy politics also enjoy arguing, so indulge him a bit, then let him win!

    4. All the above should take 5 minutes or less. If he hasn't offered you a drink, just ask if he is ready for a dance yet. No offer of a drink or a dance in 5 minutes usually means he isn't that into you or he has no money. If you think he is just socially awkward, ask 2-3 times for a dance. Use lots of adjectives when describing the lap dances you give, and say something outrageous like "I was voted best lap dancer in Oklahoma in 2007. Are you going to let this opportunity pass you by?" (If you live in Oklahoma, you should at least be able to back up that claim. Use a far off place for your claim.).

    5. If the answer is still no, be pleasant in accepting the rejection. Ask if he needs you to send a waitress over or anything else. Then thank him for coming in and leave the door open by saying that if you have time later, you'll stop back by. It is important to include the "if I have time" statement. It implies that you are in demand and get very busy as the shift wears on.

    6. If a customer is tipping heavy at stage, always, always, always ask him if he wants a dance! He obviously found your show appealing, so don't ignore him. If you don't ask before leaving the stage, ask immediately after your set. Don't leave the area until you've asked for that dance!

    7. You don't have to dance for someone that gives you the creeps. There is nothing more emotionally satisfying that saying "No thanks" to creepy-sweatpants-boner-man. Especially if the club is busy, there is absolutely no reason to spend time in unpleasant situations. Move on to the next customer, and enjoy your work instead of loathing it. If the club is dead and creepy-sweatpants-boner-man is the only sale possibility, then do the dance with all air. Just get paid up-front. This is also quite amusing as you did exactly what you said you would do (dance topless or nude), and he has already paid. I've done 30 minute VIPs where the customer wasn't even close enough to smell my perfume.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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  27. #25
    Senior Member Danielle_4370's Avatar
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    Default Re: What am I doing wrong?

    ^That's a kick-a$$ answer, Paris, and I always enjoy your posts. I'm just trying to picture you asking trivia questions with horns and fake blood.

    RedHot, I'd say that if you stick with Paris' time limit of 5 minutes and get two dances out of it, then you're doing good. If you get a drink (but no dance) out of 5 minutes, I'd say that's OK. Give it another 5 minutes of talking. You'd probably want to go with the law of diminishing returns for the talkers. Three drinks, perhaps I'd say I need to go to the bathroom, and leave.

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