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Thread: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

  1. #26
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^^ See, now, why'd you have to go and get all concise on me? You're supposed to COMPLICATE it all! Now you've made me seem comparatively obscenely verbose.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^^ Ha! I'm sure your verbosity is way more enjoyable to the other members than my brevity. Besides, you are very cute and sadly, I look like my avatar

    FBR
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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Jack...I think the key concept you're missing (and understandably, because the entertainment/sex industry looks on the outside like it's so much fun) is that this is a JOB. The second you realize you can make money off of merely doing ____ (whatever is a non-extra for your particular club) for X amount of money, you lose ALL interest in doing anything for free. Why would you do something for free when you can get paid to do it? Working in a strip club takes the sex out of sexuality for dancers (I speak very generally here--obviously every dancer is different).

    When I'm dancing for a customer, they see sex, and I see money. I might enjoy myself--of course! But the nice conversations I have with my customers and the dances I give them (no-contact club) just wouldn't happen if I weren't getting paid. I think many people can relate to this--it's like if you were to take your favorite hobby and make it into a business. Some people would still enjoy the hobby, but the majority would stop doing that hobby in their free time. Once sexuality (of a certain kind) becomes a job, you stop viewing it as recreational (within the club).

    Also, by becoming a stripper, you start realizing that people are attracted to your job and the fantasy you create...they aren't actually interested in you. Perhaps male strippers are more okay with this side of it, since they tend to be more sexually excitable. However, for me personally, it's an incredible turn-off. Like "yeah, buddy. Of COURSE you want "me". Flashing lights and pretty outfits and tits and ass--YEAH we're making a REAL connection here, aren't we?"

    Don't get me wrong--I genuinely do connect with a lot of my customers. I love people! I love what I do for them. I have some incredible conversations with them. And yet the job creates a divide that I have no desire to cross--between my personal life and my work life. I'd estimate that I want to hang out with about 1 out of every 10,000 people I see at the club--some extraordinarily low percentage.

    Does that make any sense? It's an extremely complicated issue about which everyone feels differently.

    I think you'd be very interested in reading up on the sociologist Arlie Hochschild*. She writes some really well-written pieces on emotional labor. Her worked proved an invaluable resource for me--helped me solidify and articulate some of the conflicting feelings I have about my stripping persona.

    *The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling by Arlie Russell Hochschild. "I use the term emotional labor to mean the management of feeling to create a publicly observable facial and bodily display; emotional labor is sold for a wage and therefore has exchange value."

    "When feelings are successfully commercialized, the worker does not feel phony or alien; she feels somehow satisfied in how personal her service actually was...In either case, whether proudly or resentfully, face and feelings have been used as instruments..."

    Really fascinating stuff!
    Charlie... Thanks for that post and for your suggested reading. Yes, it is very fascinating stuff... I think that to some extent, every job has the element of emotional labor,... which means that someone is paying (usually a lot of money) for the performance of sympathy, care, advocacy, etc. In my job, my clients confide in me so much that sometimes they forget that I am their lawyer and NOT their best friend... I listen to the unfolding drama in their lives only because I get paid to, and my meter is ALWAYS running... But, they will forget about the running meter and casually spend 1, 2 or 3 hours with me in person or on the phone, to tell me what could have been communicated in three minutes, because they ramble on and on about mundane personal and irrelevant matters... So, basically, I am getting paid $200/hr to PRETEND to be their sympathetic best friend... I've thought about getting a psychology degree so that... I can bill them double... $200/hr as lawyer... and $200/hr as psychologist... But, kidding aside... very fascinating stuff...

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^ I suppose you're right. But stripping definitely involves a LOT more than most other jobs. You really should read some of her stuff--she discusses the problems such people incur while mediating the lines between their real lives and work lives. Very interesting stuff. Like MPD (though I believe that term is now obsolete).

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^ I suppose you're right. But stripping definitely involves a LOT more than most other jobs.
    I agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    You really should read some of her stuff--she discusses the problems such people incur while mediating the lines between their real lives and work lives. Very interesting stuff. Like MPD (though I believe that term is now obsolete).
    I will... I wish this forum had an online book reading club... It would be very interesting to read from a select list of interesting psychology, sociology and feminist books that touch on dancers and/or sex workers and then discuss them online... impressions, real-life applications, dancer's perspective, custie's perspective... etc.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^ I think most of us either don't have time to do that because we're in school/working, don't care enough to participate, or just wouldn't be interested. I fall into the former category. It'd definitely be cool though.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    ^ I think most of us either don't have time to do that because we're in school/working, don't care enough to participate, or just wouldn't be interested. I fall into the former category. It'd definitely be cool though.
    It WOULD be cool - THE EXOTIC DANCERS BOOK DISCUSSION CLUB... I bet it would make it on Oprah and help shatter people's misconceptions about exotic dancers... Oh, well...

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^^ I believe to a large extent, the writings would just become masturbatory materials. I mean, the dancers deal with that every day so why bother?

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^ I actually do enjoy studying sociological perspectives on the sex industry and whatnot. It mentally helps me to place myself amongst others, read pieces written by other women who have done what I do, et cetera. It gives me a community to belong to. Like StripperWeb!

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^Beyond the boobs, I am extremely interested in the sociological/psychological aspects and motivations of the sex industry. Reading posts on here is fascinating, both in what we (custies) ask and say, and the dancers responses and interactions with us and other dancers.

    Enough babbling.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    I detest everyone pretty much equally. Except myself. I LOOOOVE me.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    98% strictly business, just for $$
    2% - find attractive, so It's a bonus I have someone hot to dance for, but they will NOT get my number, extras or see me OTC.

    I don't mix business and pleasure, i'm all about the $$$ when I'm there

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    90% I'm indifferent to--I don't really dislike or like them, I don't remember them or their name and I don't care one way or the other about anything regarding them.

    5% Are cool people, as in I somewhat enjoy their conversation skills. I am not physically attracted to them and would not consider seeing them outside the club OR giving them extras or anything like that, but I do enjoy sitting with them. Doesn't feel SO much like work.

    4.99% I absolutely want to maime, strangle, kill, and otherwise dismember. Basically jackasses.

    .01% Guys that I would MAYBE find attractive if they weren't in a strip club. This has only happened once to me in New Orleans. Two attractive men came in together and were in a band (my type) and wanted me to hang out after work. I WILL NEVER EVER hang out with anyone outside the club and usually I have NO PROBLEM telling them that. But those two guys have thus far been the only two I've considered breaking the rule for. But I didn't end up doing anything at all, besides lapdances IN the club.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post

    What are your percentages in these categories? I understand that women are more selective than men, so feel free to use percentages of less than 1%...
    If a dancer meets you in the club you are a PL and have 0% chance of having a dating relationship. Be thankful for that.

    As for a "dating" relationship your odds are increasing every day the economy gets worse. Be thankful for that.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Question for the dancers - This question arose from two other threads:
    As a guy, if I was a male dancer,... I'm guessing that:
    80% of my female custies: I would entertain only because they paid me... 20%: some attraction, so I would enjoy dancing for them...
    10%: more attraction, so I would also want to give free extras to...
    5%: a lot of attraction, so I would also want to meet OTC...

    What are your percentages in these categories? I understand that women are more selective than men, so feel free to use percentages of less than 1%...
    30 percent tolerable.
    40 percent; can't wait for this to be over
    30 percent; I am going to throw up.

  18. #41
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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    id say about:

    50% Indifferent to
    25% Incredibly angry at and/or repulsed by
    24% Enjoy talking to/dancing for, but am not attracted to. By "enjoy" I mean because they are nice/interesting/fun/etc -not- that it "turns me on".
    1% (yes, just like most other girls) I am personally* attracted to.

    I gotta tell you, I've been dancing over 4 years and I would say there have been less than 10 guys total who, outside of the club/under different circumstances I MIGHT consider sleeping with. Also, I'm speaking PHYSICALLY only. If we include personality that number probably drops to 3.

    *This is my own personal attraction I'm talking about. I -do- recognize a higher number of the customers I dance to are probably considered attractive by women "in general". My guess would be a whopping 2-3% higher.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    Just to put it out there, I actually kinda 'target' the unattractive guys. The fat, old, and/or bald guy sitting alone not getting any attention is usually the guy who spends tons of money on me, and at the club, that's all I care about. I'd say 99% of the guys I dance for I'm not attracted to much besides his wallet. Although I do have a few regulars who I think are cool as fuck, I'm rarely physically attracted to customers, and wouldn't think of dating any.

    P.S. Why in the hell would I give out free extras? I'm at work to make money.

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    90% for the money (of that, disgusted by about 75%, but not neccesarily because they are physically repulsive)
    10% attracted to if they never opened their mouth
    1% if they opened their mouth

    1 customer I've ever seen as a potentional boyfriend

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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    I am only attracted to 1%, usually a guy my age who is tall and handsome, and close to my age (I'm 22), somewhere in their 20s. I usually end up exchanging numbers with the guy. I don't follow up or meet them outside though. I don't do any extras or date guys I meet at the club. I don't know why. What does OTC stand for?! I can't for the life of me figure it out.

  22. #45
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    Default Re: Dancers: What Percent Do You Like?

    ^Out of The Club or Outside The Club as opposed to ITC In The Club

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