My bf and I are going in a few weeks. What should we do?



My bf and I are going in a few weeks. What should we do?





Well there's 300 bars here, if you like to drink you are set!
Actually, there's a lot more to do than drink. If you like diving or snorkeling, you will love it here. There are lots of charter fishing boats and just plain boats of all kinds and sizes to have fun on. If you like architecture, especially Victorian or older architecture, you will be in heaven just walking around the island. There are also a lot of galleries, the Hemingway house, etc..
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________



Go see the polydactyl cats at the Hemingway home.
http://www.hemingwayhome.com/HTML/our_cats.htm



The Hemingway house is on the list, as is Capt. Tony's. Does anyone know which club has the best drag show? I'm leaning towards 801, cause it looks a little seedy. Also, are the ghost tours worth it? Thank you for the advice, I love the way the cats feet look when they have the extra toe.





Fuck the ghost tours. Every fucking night they come by my house (I live next to the 'Robert the Doll' House, the most famous stop on the tour), which would be fine--except they have the most fucked up, stupid way of dealing with hecklers, ever.
The leader of the tour (some are way worse than others, after three years here I have seen them all) will go "1,2,3!" and they all chant "You're Doomed!!!" as loud as they can, which is pretty fucking loud if there's 50-60 of them as there often is. Which would be fine, again--if it was once in a while in reply to a real asshole maybe. People do yell at them and honk, etc.
But no...
They do it every time anyone says anything whatsoever at all to them or anyone near them, or any car makes any noise at all whether it's got anything to do with them or not. With as many as 2-3 tours a night on busy nights, and as many as 10-12 chants per tour, it gets fucking old real fast. They think it's great fun, obviously, but imagine how they'd react if they had to listen to the same dumbass cheer/chant 40 times a night, loud as hell, right outside their living room window?
If you are trying to take a nap or have a romantic mood, forget it, you have to wait until all the cheesy tours and chanting are done, which can go on for a couple hours.
Sometimes I insult the hell out of them, actually--even though the windows only open up around the corner my voice is so powerful they can hear me alright, that's for sure. We've had some memorable duels. If I had a window that would open up right at them they'd be fucked, but there are AC units in both those windows.
There are actually two tour companies, one is way better than the other which is very cheesy and tourist/geek oriented. The tour leaders dress up in top hat and cloak and carry a lantern which would be cool, but a couple of them think they are the next Oscar winners and try way, way too hard and just sound stupid unless you are maybe 8 years old or a complete imbecile.
Personally I cannot stand tour groups of any kind, most of the people are usually nerds and idiots (especially on the ghost tours, haha!), on those rare occasions I was suckered into them as a kid I couldn't wait to get away.
I tell you what, if you come down you can join me in insulting the hell out of the Ghost Tour!
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You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________





I'm not all that much into drag shows, either, though a lot of my friends are (and they are 100X better than tour groups I am sure, haha). 801 is funny though as drag queens in full regalia will hang around outside, sometimes in broad daylight but almost always at night. Sometimes they come in the clubs when I am DJing which is interesting, you don't see that in stripclubs in other cities except maybe New Orleans, I imagine.
Key West is the kind of town where you will see a drag queen fully decked out riding a bicycle down a residential street for no particular reason, which I think is very cool even if I'm not into seeing the shows or whatever.
Last edited by Djoser; 04-15-2009 at 10:20 AM.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________





I have heard more than once that Hemingway didn't really have cats here, or didn't have polydactyl cats, or whatever. It might actually be a bogus tourist myth, you know how that goes. But who cares? I love cats and there are 60 of them there, and the extra toes look cool, there are a bunch of them running around here, not just at the H House.
Be careful, you aren't allowed to pick up the cats at the H. House. What they do if you do it anyway, I don't know. I haven't been there yet, they want 15$ and no picking up the cats, I'd have trouble with that part for sure.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________



Um, now I'm gonna hang around the Robert house and see if I can hear you dueling with the ghost tours. I was afraid they would be cheesy, so I believe that I will do my own research and conduct my own private (and quiet) tour. I am a total ghost nerd, I have to admit. The one in Salem is good, as in the guide handed out advice about how to break in to abandoned buildings, told me how to get to Gallows hill, and asked me if I worked for the Jim Rose circus (I took it as a compliment). i've never seen a drag queen in any of my clubs, but Austin has one who wears lingerie at pretty much all times (homeless, I believe). Its cool to see him walking around w/ family groups and attracting zero attention. I'm not sure, but I believe I've seen a picture of Hemmingway holding a cat (I research the hell out of all vacation places beacuse I may never get back there and I don't want any regrets). I'm sure you're dying to know, so I'll confirm on the cats if I can. Thanks so much for the info.





Do a search for Robert the Doll, you'll love it. It's scary looking for sure! The idea of being scared of a doll is ridiculous, but I'd freak out completely if that thing suddenly appeared in my apt!! Actually it would have to instantly prove its telekinetic powers because I'd be hacking it to bits with a fucking ax or it would have to kill me somehow.
If I stay here long enough I will know the whole story, I already know half of it from listening to the one louder guy trying way too hard to be dramatic. I am dying for him to come into my club one night, I would rip him to shreds (verbally of course) faster than chopping up Robert the fucking Doll (literally). He came into a friend of mine's club for some special event and bombed completely which wasn't surprising. The kiddies and the suburban geeks love him though.
PS what's the Jim Rose circus?
Let me know when you are coming, maybe we could all meet up or at the least I could buy you and your boyfriend drinks if I am working. Pm me anytime but my box does fill up beware, sorry.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________
The Ghost tours are cheesy,but they are fun(I've done them both). And def. get down to Mallory Square at least once for sunset celebration. They do it every night...there are vendors selling food,arts and crafts,etc..and tons of street performers. Then when the sun starts to set everyone gets quiet and just watches. The sunsets are gorgeous there and the whole experience is not to be missed. Get there an hour or so before sunset to see it all.



CKXXX - Thank you for the hour early advice! I love street performers, and I've been wanting to see the sunset festival ever since I heard about it.
Djoser- You have to burn the doll after you chop it up. And to be safe, throw the ashes in the ocean and move. The Jim Rose circus is a traveling freakshow, or it was. He had his moment in the late 90's and is fading out now. (One of his performers holds the record for the longest that a penis has ever stretched - he lifts weights with his piercings). I am fond of Count Otto too, he's the one who stole a girl's body and lived with it for quite some time. This was in the house that has now become the artist's house (or artisan?) B and B. I did mention that I over-research, right? I will def. pm you, I'd like to hit a club while I'm there, esp if pole tricks are done. I have a wrist sprain I'm nursing at the moment and I miss my pole like crazy.
Oh..and the pirate museam is pretty cool (https://www.piratesoul.com) as is the Mel Fisher Museum/Wreck of the Atocha ( http://www.melfisher.com ). And one of my fav restaurants in the world is in KW..Mangia Mangia, ( http://www.mangia-mangia.com/ ). If you like Italian you'll love it. Everything is fresh and handmade(I know the chef so I can verify this!)
Have fun!



Not a big "Florida person" but LOVE KW,started going there years ago before all the condos,LOL!
Be sure to spend an afternoon (usually turns into evening) at the "Green Parrot" on Whitehead St...locals galore and I've had some of THE best times there for hours just drinking,laughing,and watching the side show of people who come in/out.
If you like to shop a bit the "Handprints Factory" and the "Aloe" place are cool...Fast Buck Freddies and that incredible "head shop" I can't remember the name...awesome stuff galore!
Try to walk or bike around a lot and get some GREAT Cuban food,find a little neighborhood bakery if you can.Ask a local whose is the "best" currently.
It's always fine to hit up the "touristy" places especially if it's your first trip,be sure to take the trolley/tram thing around the island to get an overview...walk around some of the neighborhoods too,wonderful houses and nice people! I like to stay at the "Westwinds Inn" on Eaton St. and walk a lot!
Is the "Blue Marlin" still suits optional by the pool? Used to be a fun place for an afternoon as well,VERY colorful collection of guests to say the least.
F-ing Robert doll...is he still at the "Maritime Museum?"
Freaky-ass thing,LOL!
Quite the story and worth a look though if you like that sort of thing.
Not sure if they will still let you tour the cemetary there but it's amazing and worth trying to find otu if they do tours still,had some issues for a while and they stopped them I think.
Key West,to me,is a state of mind and you find yourself "doing things" there you'd not do anywhere else in the US,LOL!
Have fun and now I want to go!!!
Last edited by retiredangel; 04-19-2009 at 02:49 PM. Reason: spelling





No more nudity optional at that hotel, not since I've been here, which is a shame. Great recommendations, though!
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________





You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________



Uh oh. Gonna have to pack the grip enhancer and alcohol wipes.
I'm thinking about going to the Garden of Eden for clothing optional entertainment. I think the cemetary is still open. Oh, and I did find a picture of Hemingway with several cats, but was unable to count the toes.





Yeah, that's my impression from the times I've been there too. Maybe we should get a group of good-looking naked people and show them it can be done with some style, lol!
My friend Bridgette who used to dance at my club works there--last time I was there anyway.
A friend of mine might reopen Naked Lunch, in which case I guarantee a lot of naked people there, including me.![]()
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________



Crap. I've been to enough fetish parties to know exactly what the Garden of Eden will look like. I'm sure my bf will be grateful to be spared.
OH...if you buy anything on the island(not food or anything...like clothes or souvenirs...) most places will "innocently" ask you where you are from. ALWAYS say you are local. If you want,tell them you work at Teasers or Red Garter or Bare Assets(the 3 strip clubs in town...being a stripper is cool in Key West so you dont have to worry about being discriminated against!)
The price for things is lower for locals. And dont be shy about haggling in a lot of stores. Not the real high end ones(there are a few!),but esp the shops along Duval(the main drag). They are used to it and expect it. A simple.."hmm..I like it but I didnt want to spend that much" will do it.
Sometimes you'll get as much as 25% off or more!
Check out my husbands blog (tikilounge..its in my sig). he talks about some of his fav things about KW too!
iw as at naked lunch the first week it was open in i guess fall of 2004. there were no naked people. but i had pretty good convo with the bartender and a drunk who drove the key west tour bus around.
If you are a certified diver, there are a lot of shallow dives in Key West. I think there are also a lot of wreck dives, though I did not try them.





Yeah I have a friend who quit dancing to teach diving and take people out on diving tours. Maybe I could hook you up with her when you get here.
I haven't been yet myself, as that is Daytime activity and I would melt or burn to cinders.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________
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