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Thread: My cat is dying

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default My cat is dying

    She is old. She is at least 12 years old, probably older. We got her from a shelter and no one is sure exactly how old she is. I noticed that she had stopped eating last week, but her belly was getting bigger. So, I took her to the vet today, and basically, she is retaining fluid in her abdomen and lungs.

    It is probably cancer or heart failure. The tests are very expensive so I don't know for sure. I watched my mother prolong her dog's life well beyond what was humane. I refuse to do that to my cat. For now, we've got her in the kitty version of hospice. She isn't acting like she is in pain, but she does sleep a lot.

    If she starts eating again, we may have a couple more months with her. Most likely it will only be a couple more weeks. We've made arrangements for having her euthanized when the time comes.

    I've never put a pet down before. The idea of spending thousands of dollars on medical treatment for her seems almost cruel and in the end likely won't make that much of a difference (especially in the case of heart failure). I am sad, but also at peace knowing that I spoiled that kitty the whole time we've had her. We adopted her as an adult from a shelter 10 years ago, and she has been nothing but a wonderful pet.


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    Veteran Member *~Angel~*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I am sooooo sorry. I dont know what I would do if that happened to my kitty. I would be so heartbroken. Although I didnt have her as long as you have had hers I have grown immensely attatched, and I don't know what I would do in that situation.

    But it seems as though you have a plan, and it doesnt appear that she would be in any pain from being euthenized as if she were to go naturally, but still that had to be hard choice to make. And I feel deep down for you. Its good to know that she had a better life with you, and I'm sure she lived it to the fullest. Things like this can't be predicted, but at least you know what you may or will have to do.

    Much love to you, your SO, and your kitty.
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I'm starting to run into the same issues with my dog. She's getting to be around 11 or 12, I'm not sure since she was a rescue as well. Just think of it this way, she's had a wonderful life because of you, and loves you no matter what. She knows that you won't want her to live in pain. Enjoy all the time you can with her, spoil her rotten, and know that it's her time, it'll be her time. Also, you're not saying goodbye forever. She'll run up to you in the spirit world and tell you how she's grateful you didn't have her live in pain.

    Love her, hold her, be there for her. She's done the same for you, but now it's time for you to do it for her. When it's time, it's time - same for every life form on this planet.

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    Senior Member Amber_Sparxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Paris,
    My sincere condolances to you and your man. The path you've chosen to take for the remainder of her time is both responsible and commendable, I wish more pet parents would consider the quality of their pet's life rather than selfish desires to keep them alive despite their pain.

    Best wishes through this,
    Amber
    "Whether you believe you can or can't, either way, you are right." --- Henry Ford



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    God/dess J.D.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I went with a friend to put down her 19 year old Maine Coon. It is completely painless, and she held him as they put him down. Its as if they go to sleep and don't wake up. She had him cremated and has him in an urn. It's for the best in some situations, her cat was dying of kidney failure, it was the right thing to do. My heart goes out to you and your loved one!
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I've been here before. As a matter of fact just last month when I had to put a favorite dog of mine [collie, looked just like Lassie] down. Same situation as you, Paris. Very sweet and loving dog. Best pet I ever had. Probably cancer, but like yourself it seemed to me that testing to find out what was killing her made no sense since the vet said that dying is what was going to happen. We, my wife and I, thought we would have a couple of months with her while she was still feeling good enough to have something of a quality life, but it went down hill fast and we did the right thing so she wouldn't suffer.

    It's not easy losing a good friend.

    I wish you well with this, Paris.
    Fiat justitia, pereat mundus.


    BTW, while we are on the subject, is it needed to point out the obvious: That it is just possible that if you are willing to judge the worth of someone simply by what you read on a website about them it might say a whole hell of a lot more about you than it says about the person you are judging?

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    Member elizabetha's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I am so sorry. I'm going through a similar thing right now myself. My dog has heart failure. I took him to a big veterinary hospital up here after he started violently wheezing and gagging. Apparently, his heart is so big that it's pushing on his trachea, so he keeps thinking something is in his throat. He's also got a prominent murmur and fluid around his lungs and heart. You couldn't tell it by looking at the little guy, though, because he's on a lot of medications (diaretics, mostly, nothing too harsh). He's improved but only for so long, really. It's just a matter of time.

    Hang in there. <3
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    you are a very loving cat-mommy... to be able to put yourself through the potentially great emotional pain to end your cats living pain is the bravest thing you can do.

    hang in there, Ill send my thoughts your way

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    Veteran Member knp001's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    It's always hard losing a pet, especially when love her as much as you do.
    You seem very calm. It will be hard, but you are making the right choice. You are a good cat-mama! We are all here for you.
    Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."
    - Shakespeare




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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I'm there with you right now too.

    I have had my dog since I was 8 years old, even though she lives with my Mom right now, but Mom has told me that she thinks it may be time to say goodbye to her. She has had a raging mouth infection for years so all of her teeth have fallen out, arthritis so bad that she shuffles instead of walking, a heart condition and now her belly is huge and rock hard - retaining fluid, the same as your cat. I know she must be in pain, and I wish I could take it away... but she still seems so completely happy and utterly grateful just to be around. She has the best personality ever, she loves me so much and I love her even more, and even though I know it's the best thing, I can't bear what has to happen in the next week or so.

    So, I know exactly what you're going through, and I'm so sorry about your cat. Have you read the Rainbow Bridge poem? I've never really believed in heaven or anything, but the idea that I could maybe meet my dog again one day is really the only thing that is making this okay for me right now.

    My dog is coming over tonight for a sleepover, and I hope I can keep it together and not just burst into tears again.


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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    I am sad, but also at peace knowing that I spoiled that kitty the whole time we've had her. We adopted her as an adult from a shelter 10 years ago, and she has been nothing but a wonderful pet.
    Well I am sad to read about this, but very glad that you gave her a happy loving home.

    I still dream about my last cat that went ten years ago, unfortunately she got away from me and hid in an overgrown lot and wouldn't come out no matter what I did (she was very skittish, especially if she got away while being transported). And almost certainly died there in that lot, as she was very old, probably 14. Often the dreams are not at all pleasant because of this.

    Anyway sorry to be negative, you are already sad I'm sure. But you have the best attitude possible about it, I can tell.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Senior Member Jaden_GD's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I'm very sorry that you have to go through this. Letting go of a pet is never easy. But from the sounds of it, she had a great life and was probably a very happy kitty. Just hang in there, and always remember the times that she made you smile.

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Awwww, Paris. I'm so sorry.

    Your baby kitty had a wonderful life after you rescued her from the shelter. Without you, she might of wound up in the prime of her life being abused, put down or worse. She received so much love and TLC from you and your SO and now that she is aged and her little parts are starting to wear out she still gets all of your love.

    What a wonderful thing. I'm sure that she gave back all that you gave her and more.


    You are right, if my kitty was old and sickly I would not want her to suffer either.
    It's hard to loose a family member and again my condolences.

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    So sorry to hear about your cat Paris. It's definately hard putting a animal down no matter what, but your doing the right thing if your cat is in pain and has no quaility of life then it's the best decision. Sounds like you cared for her very well and she has had a good life.
    Last edited by dayna; 04-15-2009 at 05:49 PM.

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Putting down a pet is VERY hard, and I'm sorry you have to go through that. Try to spend time with her and do things you know she loves, and take what comfort you can in knowing that she had a great life with you. I don't know if you believe in an afterlife (I do) but if so, take comfort in knowing that you'll see her again someday.

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Last July I went through the same thing, a 13-year-old cat he got a tumor in his belly, we had no idea. He was a fat cat so it was easily hidden, and I am with you spending thousands on chemo for a cat? just to have it die or live unhealthily for my own selfish heart. You are doing the right thing. I put him down, and I got his ashes in a box with a sad poem and thought wtf this was my cat? it's like ciggarette ashes... my kitty is in a box?! But if you truly love your kitty, you will just make sure they are pain free. I also knew someone that unhumanely put a cat through all kinds of treatment, and the poor cat didn't make it in the end. She did the whole nine yards, and this cat was old too old to put up with all that. So not fair. I wish the best for you and your kitty! God Bless.
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Quote Originally Posted by callista View Post
    Enjoy all the time you can with her, spoil her rotten, and know that it's her time, it'll be her time. Also, you're not saying goodbye forever. She'll run up to you in the spirit world and tell you how she's grateful you didn't have her live in pain.

    Love her, hold her, be there for her. She's done the same for you, but now it's time for you to do it for her. When it's time, it's time - same for every life form on this planet.
    This is so beautiful Im crying.

    I had to make the same decision with my old boy. He was 16 and my best friend. Its been 2 years and 4 months and I still miss him.
    His kidneys failed, the only way he would have lived for a few more months was with constant dialysis in a vet clinic 500km away form our home.
    *HUGS* and Im thinking of you.
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    How are you holding up Paris?

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Melody (my kitty) is still hanging in there. She is sleeping pretty much all the time, but she is still able to climb to the top of the kitty tree and nap in the window. She isn't feeling great tonight. She didn't even look at the treats I put in her bowl for dinner.

    I decided that I can't handle staying with her while she is euthanized. I have a vision of a painless sleep, and don't want anything to intrude on that vision. My vet said that she understands and my husband will stay with Melody during the procedure. He is much stronger than I. We adopted Melody (and her kitten Minnie) together as a couple.

    I'm a little concerned about Minnie. She has been with her mom her entire life. I don't know how well cats adjust to the loss of a den-mate (or whatever cat family is called). Minnie likes our dog and follows the dog around in the yard, so I hope she won't be too lonely.

    Thanks so much for the kind words. This is new territory for me. I've never had to personally deal with the end of a pet's life. I'm just trying to do what I'd like for myself.


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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    My/my sisters dog was put to sleep today. We had him for 13 years. I found this little poem online and she liked it, maybe you will too.

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross the rainbow bridge together...

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Melody (my kitty) is still hanging in there. She is sleeping pretty much all the time, but she is still able to climb to the top of the kitty tree and nap in the window. She isn't feeling great tonight. She didn't even look at the treats I put in her bowl for dinner.

    I decided that I can't handle staying with her while she is euthanized. I have a vision of a painless sleep, and don't want anything to intrude on that vision. My vet said that she understands and my husband will stay with Melody during the procedure. He is much stronger than I. We adopted Melody (and her kitten Minnie) together as a couple.

    I'm a little concerned about Minnie. She has been with her mom her entire life. I don't know how well cats adjust to the loss of a den-mate (or whatever cat family is called). Minnie likes our dog and follows the dog around in the yard, so I hope she won't be too lonely.

    Thanks so much for the kind words. This is new territory for me. I've never had to personally deal with the end of a pet's life. I'm just trying to do what I'd like for myself.
    Perhaps after a month or two you can get Minnie a new buddy?
    She has the dog so that should be a comfort.

    My tuxedo boy cat Sly passed away recently. He had a stroke I think and his friend Meow missed him so bad for a few months afterward. Their little cat brains can only process so much, thank goodness.

    Take care of yourself
    Rhiannon
    xoxox

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Awe. I'm sorry hun. At least you know you gave her a good long life. Cats are prone to both cancer and heart failure. But from the fluid retention and her age it's a pretty safe bet it's heart failure. I'm glad to see someone making a good decision for their pet instead of making them suffer longer out of selfishness.

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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I'm so sorry you are going through this incredibly sad time. I know it's sad, but just remember that the end is important in all things, life most of all. The end of a life is as beautiful as the beginning, it's the time we reflect on how lucky we were to have our loved ones close to us, and realize that even when they are gone they will stay with us and not be forgotten. I wish you relaxing and lovely final days with your friend, and I'm sure she appreciates all you have done for her.

    *hug*



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    Member kokoro's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    I'm so sorry.

    The three cats I had when growing up, oh boy.. it was really hard to leave them.

    The youngest was really ill one day, and thinking nothing of it, my dad and I took her to the emergency vet during the night. On the ride there, she started meowing really loud, and I held onto her, because she was so scared. We took her in, and they checked her out and decided to put her into the oxygen cage. While we were waiting, we suddenly heard this horrible screaming sound, which we found out was her trying to breathe. A nurse ran in and said, "She's dying, come quick!" but by the time we got there, she was already gone.

    Well, needless to say, my dad and I started bawling. Then the vet started crying. She refused payment, but my dad insisted, saying that they tried. They sent us a really sweet condolence card.

    After she died, her snuggle buddy and the other cat (who usually was so distant and didn't interact with the others) were really confused and wouldn't leave my side. They managed okay later on, but they knew something was wrong.

    That was a really difficult thing to endure, especially since we didn't know what was wrong. It turned out she had cardiac problems we didn't know of, but I guess was not totally unusual with her breed (calico).

    Later, the other two cats died while I was out of state. That also tore up my parents, because only the two kitties were left after my sister and I left. I went out of state for school, and couldn't take them, and maybe that was best. They were already too old to uproot, and the aforementioned snuggle buddy was her favorite.

    When they had to be put down, I begged my mom to not leave them alone. She was really reluctant at first, but she held snuggle buddy's paw until the end. She said he was a real gentleman, and didn't even cry. With the other girl kitty, I talked to her on the phone and when I said goodbye and I loved her, I heard a great, big meow in response.

    I think it makes a difference for the animal to have someone there. Maybe they have an inner monologue that can conceptualize thought and emotions, maybe not, but maybe they'll simply feel better knowing that their mom or dad is there with them as they painlessly go to sleep. That's great your hubby can be there. It's hard to do though; my mom was really unsure about doing it, because she wasn't sure how to handle it.

    It's never easy to say goodbye to a pet. You've worked so hard to make their life happy and full of snuggles and food and love, but this is one thing you can never prevent. You can only make it easy and painless for them. If they could understand, there's no doubt they would appreciate all the sadness you have to endure in order to take away their suffering.

    Great, now that I got myself all sad writing that haha! I hope you and your hubby can deal with this, and just remember that you two saved her from that shelter! Who knows what sort of life she would have had if you never came!

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: My cat is dying

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Melody (my kitty) is still hanging in there. She is sleeping pretty much all the time, but she is still able to climb to the top of the kitty tree and nap in the window. She isn't feeling great tonight. She didn't even look at the treats I put in her bowl for dinner.

    I decided that I can't handle staying with her while she is euthanized. I have a vision of a painless sleep, and don't want anything to intrude on that vision. My vet said that she understands and my husband will stay with Melody during the procedure. He is much stronger than I. We adopted Melody (and her kitten Minnie) together as a couple.

    I'm a little concerned about Minnie. She has been with her mom her entire life. I don't know how well cats adjust to the loss of a den-mate (or whatever cat family is called). Minnie likes our dog and follows the dog around in the yard, so I hope she won't be too lonely.

    Thanks so much for the kind words. This is new territory for me. I've never had to personally deal with the end of a pet's life. I'm just trying to do what I'd like for myself.
    Minnie will know something is wrong, yes. But if she is attached to the dog this will help a lot. Then after a while as Crow suggested, maybe get her another playmate.

    On a related note, I had another one of those recurring dreams about my kitty from 10 years ago (usually she is hungry or I am feeding her) after posting here, and then a starving kitty showed up on my stairway. She is much better now. I don't believe in gods but it seemed like she was sent to me. I forgot about this thread but there's no doubt in my mind that's what sparked the dream, which I've had many, many times in the last ten years.

    The euthanasia is very easy on the pets. I have never been there when it was done but my mom was and she said it was hard on her but easy on the dog, she just went to sleep with my mom petting her. About as easy and peaceful as you can go in this world.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

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