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Thread: Dealing with your job.

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    Default Dealing with your job.

    I'm thinking about stripping but I don't know if I have the stamina. I think that maybe I will feel bad about myself after a while, like I'm just a piece of flesh. I don't know if I can handle the way the men perceive me. Or I know I can deal with all of it but I will have to harden up and loose a little of my sweetness. How do you girl handle it? Do you feel like you lost a little of yourself? I know it's just a job and it's not about me but does the idea of yourself eventually become impersonal, does it affect your family life? How have you changed as a person when you started stripping? Thank you so much for taking the time to read/respond. I hope all of you the best.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    This industry certainly isn't for the weak of heart as something to do long term. You really need to have a strong head on your shoulders going into this. Dancing is one of those industries where you can say "it is what you make of it".

    I was super shy when I was really young, and every year I started getting more outgoing because I strived to have a better life, and people who are shy tend to get walked all over. Out of everything that I ever did to get over being shy, dancing has got to be the number one thing that helped me. I had already taken acting classes and performed a lot on stage with that and dancing. However, I froze up when I had to talk to people. Dancing allowed me to create this second persona of what I wanted to be, and as I became more comfortable being that way it's like I "shed" the old me and changed into the new me. I very much see dancing as a metamorphosis that took me from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

    You will have men tell you that you look horrible and men tell you that you are gorgeous. What you will learn from this is that all men have their own types that they are attracted to, and your conversation skills will become better so that you can either win them over with your personality or walk away with pride.

    I wish every woman had the opportunity to dance because I think it would humble some and make others realize how beautiful they really are, all while teaching them how to deal with adversity.
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    Like everything in life, you have to give in order to get. When it comes to dancing, you have to work hard and put up with the bad nights in order to get the benefits of making your own scedule, and experience the great nights and financial indepedence.

    My experience has been very similar to Kylea2's. I was very very shy as a child, and even as an adult. My first couple weeks of dancing were very shell-shocking, and I almost quit. But I stuck it out, now even like dancing. Within a couple months my friends (who didn't know I started dancing) were commenting that I seemed so much more social and spoke with so much more confidence. This was the biggest positive change that dancing gave me. The sales skills I learned are easily transferable to the school environment when it comes to meeting with profs and selling them on my research ideas or getting letters of recommendation. On the negative side, I have become far more wary of men in general.

    I won't lie, you may need to develop a bit of a tough skin and learn to handle some rejection. Some men will be rude and insulting, while others will practically worship you at your feet. Also keep in mind, some customers actually pay just to keep them company and talk, so when you land those you definately do not feel like "just a piece of flesh."

    Ultimately, it is a personal choice. If you are torn it may help to visit the club you are thinking of working at to get a better idea of what it may be like.

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    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    I would gladly deal with stripping again at this point (not that I found it to be much of a bother in the first place). I'm sick of broads breathing on me while I try to fix their horrid faces, I keep getting fucking sick!!! Ugh.
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


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    Senior Member Miaowren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    Funny you should mention that. I've never really thought about it before but that's never come up, hey. For me it becomes like the exact opposite... I start to um dislike them, not me!
    Why should you feel bad because they're being assholes?

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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    Stripping as definately a hard industry. Unlike other jobs that rate you on you performance, people tend to think dancing is all about YOU. What you look like, who you are, ect. so when you are rejected in dancing, it can be very personal. A lot of girls think that when a guy turns down a lapdance from them, it means the guy doesn't find them attractive, and they get personally hurt. The thing to remember is: it's not YOU--sometimes you aren't the guy's type, but for the most part, it's how you're selling yourself to him that makes him say yes or no. So if you can separate what's truly happening in strip clubs, it can be managable, but if you are going to continue thinking that evey time you are rejected it means you aren't attractive, dancing probably isn't for you.

    Also, you need to develop a thick skin. Some customers will be very rude, and some girls as well. LET IT ROLL OFF YOUR BACK. At first, especially if you haven't had to deal with this, it can be very hard, because you have to put yourself in a vulnerable place (being naked in front of others) and put yourself up for critque and it does suck to be trying hard and to have people not wanting or accepting your offers for dances. But if you can get over all of this, just suck it up and KNOW that they aren't personally rejecting YOU, you'll be ok. Plus, who gives a shit about being rejected by some nasty customer anyways? It's a STRIP CLUB--do you really care about some idiot there not liking you? You have to realize that not everyone in the whole world will like or find you attractive and that's ok. Being attractive isn't the end all be all of your existance although working in a strip club can sure make it feel that way.

    As for "losing myself" or being made to feel like a quantity or that my only worth is my attractiveness, it's certainly easy to fall into that line of thinking. Dancing IS hard on the mind--I've always said the hardest part of the job is the ACTING it involves. Being happy all the time and nice to everyone is hard and it makes you sometimes feel like you are being fake and that people only like you when you are this way and that your inner person is being lost in all the outward appearances. What I find helps to combat this thinking is to have an active life OUTSIDE of work. Have things, hobbies, that you do that you can gain recognition for outside of dancing, and friends and lovers that aren't in the industry. That way, it can seem more like your job--like an acting job even--and the ways you present yourself outside of work allow you to maintain a personality and a way to express it. Also, make sure that you have good friends that will help you and love you irregardless of anything--that's essential.

    But mainly, LEARN TO SEPARATE yourself from your dancing persona. The biggest mistake dancers make and the easiest way to get "lost" in dancing is to think that your dancing self is the same as your normal self. It's NOT. You don't have to act like you do at work all the time, and it's usually better if you don't. Don't let the whole lifestyle grab you up--if you look at dancing as a LIFESTYLE vs. a job, you WILL lose yourself and you'll end up in a really bad place. Dancing is A JOB. One you wake up and go in to work at. It's not a way of living. Live life like you would normally and go to work, then come home. I hate to say it, but try to avoid making a lot of stripper friends, or at least a lot of ones that view dancing as a lifestyle. Stick with the girls that treat it like a job and have an active "real" life and that aren't insecure and viscious as many of them are. You are who you surround yourself with and if you fall into the crowd of girls that are "lost" they will lead you to that place yourself. Also--stay away from dating bouncers, DJs, doorguys ect. They tend to be caught up in it as well.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    I was already hardened by the time I came to dancing, and a lot of the girls have dealt with a great deal of adversity in their lives prior to becoming a stripper.

    One of the things I found surprising about dancing is that complaining about physical imperfections to other dancers got real replies. Not those "Oh, you look fine, you can have another brownie!" kind of responses one might get in a civilian job. All the while the obese co-worker is smiling evilly at you while leaving doughnuts, brownies, cookies, candies and other junk food on your desk.

    No matter what you decide to do, you will be forever changed by that decision. Whether you go to school or take a corporate job or decide to become a housewife or join the military or become a criminal or whatever, you life will be changed forever after making that decision. So if dancing appeals to you, then give it a try. If you find yourself reluctant to return, then you know that it isn't for you.

    I've known girls that wanted to be strippers so badly that they would force themselves to go to work every night and end up crying in the dressing room every night because they hated the job so much. When I would ask "Why don't you quit?" They wouldn't understand. Somehow being a successful stripper was the only thing they could think about and the possibility of just leaving the job never enter their minds.

    If you find that you hate the job, get out quickly. Save your sanity and your health. On the other hand, nothing ventured, nothing gained.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    Stripping does not have to take anything away from who you are. You can still be the same sweet, intelligent, strong girl you are now. You'll learn things about yourself and other people you may not have learned otherwise and find a strength you never knew you had. You'll have a very viable path towards financial stability, if you use your money wisely.


    However, this is a job that can be very corrosive to the psyche. You need to have firm limits about yourself and your body. And sometimes, even the firmest limits can be pushed back. Working in a sexualized environment shifts your perspective of what's normal. Some customers will try to take as much from you as they can. And some girls deal with this in ways that I consider unhealthy--such as using drugs or turning to prostitution.
    Last edited by Winged Dinghy; 12-05-2010 at 01:31 PM.

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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    It's interesting you mention that, Paris. I remember being so surprised by the honest feedback too. It's oddly refreshing having a woman say "yeah, that doesn't look good on you, try this instead" and know that she's not being catty just helpful. I wish I could talk to other women that way, but worry they might get offended when they ask for opinions.

    Update? Did you decide to go for it nevermind3?

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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    I think I will. I can't seem to get on with my life planning (I plan my retirement when I'm stressed) without it. Thank you all for responding. It surprised me a little how people seemed to take the issue in stride. I guess I'm more sheltered then I thought, I haven't really gotten out much. I'd definitely regret not trying to strip. I need to get over myself.

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    Default Re: Dealing with your job.

    i was really shy about dancing, i almost quit....so it def takes balls and sometimes you dont come with them, they have to drop in order for you to make it in this industry.
    "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the vip section...."

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