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Thread: question from a wife

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    Default question from a wife

    My husband went to Hollywoods showclub a few months ago with a friend of his against my wishes. I listened to his voicemail on his cellphone the next morning and there was a message from (I assume) a dancer. The woman said "Hi, this is Kylie, I'm just sitting here rubbing all over you blah blah blah. My number is xxxx call me sometime so we can get together." I guess my question is, is it common for a stripper to give out her phone number to customers? I don't trust my husband at all and I'm pretty sure he's lying to me. He says he has no idea how she got his number, that she must have gotten his number somehow when he left his phone lying on the table while he went to the restroom. I have never been to a stripclub so I have no idea if that is even a logical possibility. I tried to call the girl but have never been able to get a hold of her.

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Personally I think your husband is full of crap.

    Yes, it is common for some dancers to provide means for their customers to contact them (ie e-mail addys, phone #'s, etc.) In most cases, it is simply about business and letting their customers know what shifts they are working and things of that nature. However, they are typically very careful about making contact. First they have their own safety in mind, but also it does them no good to make an unsolitcited call and then loose a customer who gets in hot water with his SO.

    Of course, I could be wrong, but unless she was a completely clueless newbie, if I were a betting man, I would put my money on the idea that he gave her his number and invited her to call him.

    Your attempts to call her are likely to be futile. She likely has a special cell phone or number she uses for work calls and screens her voicemails.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: question from a wife

    ^ I'd agree. She either has his number because...

    1) He asked for her number, and she agreed to call him instead. Likely with the intention of trying to lure him back into the club for future money making opportunities
    or
    2) She asked for his number...which in 99% of all cases would mean that she just wants to form a pseudo-connection with him, with the intention of trying to lure him back into the club for future money making opportunities.

    In other words, your husband is the untrustworthy one here (as you clearly realize). The dancer likely has no intention of forming any kind of real relationship with him. Your husband's side of the deal is likely much more blurry.

    I'm sorry you're in this situation.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    ^^ Exactly. A lot of girls who give out their number will get asked for THEIR phone number, but instead will just call themselves from the man's phone.

    As Charlie said, 99% of the time, the dancer is just trying to cultivate a regular. Your husband sounds like he is completely lying to your face. If he doesn't know how she got the number, why would she say what she did on the voicemail? Makes no sense.

    I'm sorry your husband is being a douche.

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry your husband is being a dick. And he's definitely lying about not giving her his number...the idea of a stripper being all ninja and swiping his cell for a few seconds just to get his number is pretty ludicrous.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Something sounds fishy. She could be a dancer, but my radar is up. When I've called customers from clubs (rarely, and usually regulars), I was vague. I usually just give my name, phone, or saying some thing like see you tonight, or giving my schedule. Sure, it could be a dancer, but I suspect it's more than that. I suspect it may not even be a dancer at all, but someone who's having an affair. When you say your husband's lying, I suspect he's lying more than you think.

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    Veteran Member Christyismyalias's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Many professional dancers do give out numbers or have prepaid phones (as in my case) to let their regulars know when they are at work or not. These are usually harmless and nothing to worry about b/c we are not trying to take your husband or interfere with your life or vice versa. However, some unprofessional dancers do give their personal numbers out and try to gain more intimate relationships with customers whether for money or the attention or a genuine interest in them.

    Regardless, your husband is the one initiating the relationship (if he's given her the #) and you may need to worry about his honesty in general and what he does when you are not around. I have many men come in not interested in VIP (private dances) or even floor dances because they feel it may disrespect their wives (which is nice, b/c we do see the opposite and that is NOT appealing). It all depends on the guy and his attitude. If he is getting phone calls from girls he met at the club, it is likely he is trying to establish relationships and it seems he is being a player.. Try and find out facts but trust your instinct, it is usually right!!! You said " I don't trust my husband at all and I'm pretty sure he's lying to me. " Then you are probably right.
    I am sorry for you that you got stuck in this situation. I wish you the best.
    GOOD LUCK!!!

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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    I hate to be the odd one out here, but I have to ask- why the hell are the two of you even together?

    First of all- I, for one, would leave some one who stooped so low as to invade my privacy like you've invaded your husband's. I'm not saying that he's a good guy or anything (obviously not, since your intuition was right) but that's no excuse to go snooping like you did. What if he really was a good guy? Wouldn't you feel guilty?
    Secondly- He's doing wrong by you, which is also grounds for me to leave some one. Period.

    When it comes right down to it, a relationship is based on trust and respect. As far as I can see, these two all-important qualities are NOT present in your marriage. Rather than worrying about a particular situation, I'd be more worried about your relationship together as a whole.

    But that's just me...
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Not to add any more stress to your situation, but if you're talking about the Hollywood Showclub outside St. Louis, you should be aware it's a little bit more than just watching naked girls...."rubbing all over you" is the least of what most girls there do.

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    Veteran Member the_dfb's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    this thread makes me sad.

    I'm sorry about this whole mess you're going through, Ginsanity.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Thank you for the replies, it confirms what I thought. His story just doesn't make sense. He never even came home that night, so I'll never really know what happened.
    Everyman- yes, that is the club I'm referring to.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    See, even though i a dancer, if i thought my man was picking up dancers numbers I would kinda be pissed. It's like holding a flashing sign with an arrow, and bright red flashy lights that say hello im a dancer here. And apparently if the clubs rep is that bad, according to Everyman, then I would seriously be careful with that, esp if he didn't come HOME.
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Ginsanity, this could be pretty serious, but you need to do a lot of reflection as to the state of your marriage and decide whether it's worth fighting for or not at this point. A lot of married men go to the strip clubs just to release some testosterone... There is so much stress and pressure from work and from family... And going to the SC gives a man instant validation (even though its a paid performance)... It is usually a safer environment than going to a singles bar, because dancers only dance and are not looking to hook up,... but there are those that offer extra services and can be good hustlers... While I was married, I started going to the SC when I felt sexual rejection at home... There were many reasons why my wife was not "in the mood" half of the week, but I took it personally and needed to seek validation elsewhere... I hope things work out for you...

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    I feel for your situation.

    I wish you the best.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    Not to add any more stress to your situation, but if you're talking about the Hollywood Showclub outside St. Louis, you should be aware it's a little bit more than just watching naked girls...."rubbing all over you" is the least of what most girls there do.
    I worked at Hollywood about a year ago for 5 months and it is a nice club with very little extras. Extras do happen everywhere but overall this is a clean, well-monitored club.

    Wife, It does sound like you have good reason to be upset with your husband. Why are you choosing to stay with him?
    "I wear tight clothing, high heel shoes
    It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute" En Vogue

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Also, most of the dancers that do give out their numbers/call clients, they are selective. They don't do it with every guy they give a 3 minute dance to. They stay in touch with clients whom they believe had big $ potential. So, chance are, your husband gave her at LEAST a couple of hundred, and from the vm it sounds like they were in VIP..

    Sorry about your husband :-(
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginsanity View Post
    He never even came home that night, so I'll never really know what happened.
    He never came home? That makes for a cliff hanger. Please update us soon.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    This smells fishy to me. It doesn't seem like a dancer at all. Rather it sounds more like voicemail spam, someone he met elsewhere or maybe a professional call girl. Although even the last is unlikely. I think you should call the number and see if it's even a real person's number and get to the bottom of the situation.
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Kylea2 View Post
    This smells fishy to me. It doesn't seem like a dancer at all. Rather it sounds more like voicemail spam, someone he met elsewhere or maybe a professional call girl. Although even the last is unlikely. I think you should call the number and see if it's even a real person's number and get to the bottom of the situation.


    I agree. I'm sorry you have to go through this Ginsanity.

    Not all strippers are homewreckers, please keep us updated.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow2 View Post
    Not all strippers are homewreckers
    This is the TRUTH... In fact, I've gotten some of the best relationship advise from dancers, seriously... It's only too bad I didn't follow it well...

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    This is the TRUTH... In fact, I've gotten some of the best relationship advise from dancers, seriously... It's only too bad I didn't follow it well...

    Same here, and hard-headed me, found out that they were right all along.

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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Wifey this sucks!

    It is very hard to give this situation the benefit of the doubt.

    The question is did he give her his number? After all she called him and left a message. It's possible his "friends" are being crap-tastic and one of them called his cell and had the dancer leave a cheesy message.

    Unless it is on the cell phone screen saver, it is not easy to find a phone number on a cell phone. I'm pretty savvy about electronics and it would still take me a while to figure it out. Watch your hubby. Does he normally walk away from his cell to use the loo? Come to think of it I notice this a lot at my club now. They leave shit on the table while getting a dance, going out to smoke or hitting up the head.

    Trust your gut. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is. Tell hubby you'd rather know the truth than him trying to give you the run around because your not stupid. Then just drop it. If he confesses don't get angry just tell him not to test your trust in him again.

    In all honesty he probably pissed off one of the dancers and this is her way of getting back at him. Ha ha! Sorry that may possibly be the truth. Some of us can ignore the jerks, some dancers just can't help themselves to make things even.

    I'm glad you came here to talk about it and I hope you get to the bottom of things and resolve the issue.




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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    Out all night. When does the club close? Where else could he have gone? Was he hung over?

    You've had some good advice here. But I disagree that you have no right to snoop. Your husband lies (before this too) to you and that means you have a right to get to the bottom of it.

    Problem is the bottom of this pool is apt to be very slimy.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member chitownchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    you do have a right to snop based on the situation. if your huasband gave you no reason to think anyting was wrong then yes it would be shady for you to be all up in his shit. however, he has given you every reason to tihnk something is going on. personally i have only given my number to a handful of guys. if the club has a bad rep too, it could mean he gave her his number and either ws durnk and not thinking, or he expected more maybe a meeting outside the club, with sex involved. however if he wasnt a big spender or just at the club once then he asked for her number possibly for sex. im thinking the worst here, maybe she did an extra for him in the club and he wanted more, if she was slutty like that then its possible she did give him her number to exchange sex for money otc. i have never heard any stripper say that she just took a guys number out of his phone. the other option is that it wasnt a dancer, just a girl he met, and i think this only because he didnt come home that night, unless he met the dancer after work, it sounds like he could have met a girl after work. if it was just a dancer who got his number he would have mentioned to her he has a wife and in order to not fuck up her chances of getting money /getting him caught, because one effects the other. she wouldnt have mentioned anythign sexual in the message. if i leave a client a message or wait, i dont. i may text them and say "hey are you cooming in anytime soon" nothign sexual, would never say my name. so i think it sounds shady and based on the situation you have every right to check his phone. he would be doing the same thing if he was in your position, plus this is the kind of the thing that coule jeapordize your health, if he contracted an std cheating or something. keep us all updated if anything else arises we can help you more....
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    Default Re: question from a wife

    I think the husband is going to solicit a female regardless if she's a stripper or not. It's just easier to pick one when he's in a room chock full of 'em.

    I agree with the earlier post saying that the female in question was a clueless newbie or a total idiot.

    I've had two regulars for over 10 years, and still no phone numbers...we e-mail occassionally...and the kicker is that both wives know about me! They know what goes on (nothing fishy), and after this amount of time it's just still business. My schedule is pretty set, so they know where they can find me.

    In my experience, most girls with half a brain do not give out their number, and if they accept a number/card, it's most likely thrown away after the card-giver leaves.

    Please do not get the impression that all strippers are home-wreckers. Unfortunately, people tend to go with the negative stereotype...the one made by the minority of girls who don't know what they're doing, and will not last very long in the biz.

    Strippers are the most intelligent business women around!

    Good Luck

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