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Thread: Wives and strippers

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    adoringfan
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    Default Wives and strippers

    Ladies, I need a womanly perspective on this. I am a late-40s guy with a great wife; I also like to go to a club now and then (say 3-4 times a year). It just scratches an itch I have always had since I was a teenager. If my wife ever found out I went to a club I would be divorced in a second. If I told here in the interest of honesty that I do such a thing, also divorce city. When I go to a club I am not interested in extras. I don't seek OTC contact. I just enjoy the stage shows and get a dance or two. What my wife doesn't know is that it's after I've been to a club that we have our best lovemaking. And in those times, it's her I'm with; I am not fantasizing about having Serenity's tits in my face while I am making love to my wife. I don't get why women are so freaked out by strippers. Do you have any insights or advice?

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    Veteran Member *~Angel~*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Because when you go to the club you get horny, you are staring at other naked girls, having some girls boobies up in your face, and the fact that you are having your best lovemaking sessions after you get back from the club says hell of a lot. THat you are only at your best when you get back from watching strippers from a strip club, which your WIFE will assume its all her. That she's the wrong one, b/c u only have your best sex after you get back from the SC.
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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Do you really not have any idea why? It's one thing to not agree with it, but can you honestly say that you can't imagine a reason why a woman would have an issue with this?

    It usually boils down to a combination of her own insecurities and her perceptions/prejudices of dancers.

    BTW - it may not be dancers she's worried about, it may just be YOU.
    (Feel free to rename the thread "Wives and SC going husbands")
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Veteran Member *~Angel~*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Exactly what Verfulgung says. I mean how would u feel if your woman went to go see a bunch of male strippers do a show, and then come backes home and ravishes you?

    (^^nvr mind u would prbly enjoy that)

    But I mean how would u feel if your woman was getting all hot and heavy watching a bunch of hot muscular naked men do a show at a strip club?
    ME: Your done already?!? Frickin b*****!

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    I think it's only fair to not do things that are very upsetting to each other, if you can prevent it. And going to a SC is definitely something you can prevent. Would she be interested in going with you? Maybe you guys could go together and it would settle her nerves and you could enjoy the sexiness together?

    Otherwise, if she is dead set against it, I don't understand why you would deliberately put your marriage in jeopardy.

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Like Angel said - Just imagine finding out your wife is doing the same thing - going to an all-male review by herself and getting dances from semi-naked young studs that rub their crotch on her body, etc... (but no extras). Would you be okay with that?

    Maybe you can plan nights that you each go see strippers and then meet back home afterwards and have super-hot sex.

  7. #7
    adoringfan
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Actually I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as that's all there was to it. As a husband said to sexy singer Tom Jones (for his wife to hear): "You pump up the tires, I'll ride the bike." OK, stripping and singing aren't the same, but the point is, it's entertainment, that's all. If she wanted to go to a Deer Hunter Widow night while I was off in the woods, more power.

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Ditto on trying to get her to go with you. If you make it into an experience you can share, she might be more open-minded. A lot of women are afraid that going to a strip club is like cheating, and they view us as competition, when in reality we're nothing of the sort. Be inclusive. Show her she has nothing to be concerned about.

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by adoringfan View Post
    Ladies, I need a womanly perspective on this. I am a late-40s guy with a great wife; I also like to go to a club now and then (say 3-4 times a year). It just scratches an itch I have always had since I was a teenager. If my wife ever found out I went to a club I would be divorced in a second. If I told here in the interest of honesty that I do such a thing, also divorce city. When I go to a club I am not interested in extras. I don't seek OTC contact. I just enjoy the stage shows and get a dance or two. What my wife doesn't know is that it's after I've been to a club that we have our best lovemaking. And in those times, it's her I'm with; I am not fantasizing about having Serenity's tits in my face while I am making love to my wife. I don't get why women are so freaked out by strippers. Do you have any insights or advice?
    I'm not a woman but hopefully I can give some advice here. Modern day life has the habit of sucking out the life out of men. We are expected to be monogamous, share the role of parenthood 50/50 and as a general rule be the primary breadwinner. This modern lifestyle saps the testosterone. In the past when men felt like they needed to be men they would rape and pillage their way along the English coastline for a few months then go home and make wild passionate love to their wives. This is obviously not a solution inthe modern age so we need to settle for strip clubs or mistresses. Some men like you and I are happy to recharge in the controlled environment of a club.Now, your wife is obviously the type of person who, for whatever reason thinks that you touching another woman is cheating. It is a common belief. Blame a conservative upbringing, insecurity, whatever, it doesn't make a difference. She isn't going to come around to your way of thinking and asking her to come with you is probably going to be tantamount to admitting that you have been cheating on her. It's not going to be worth it.We all have our skeletons in the closet and yours is relatively tame. Keep it there. Think of it as the male equivalent of therapy.

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    Veteran Member Kharisma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Have you thought about taking her into the club with you? I know the club I work at caters to couples and everyone wins.

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    Veteran Member *~Angel~*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Umm okay he can think of touching other half naked women isnt cheating, but again what if she went out to a club and did the exact same thing, you males would b like shes a cheat, move on whatever. You tend to say something, but totally disagree with it next.

    CuriousB you just made the male part of society look like total pieces of crap. Is it that bad in a marriage to want the other person to be faithful, since you did vow that, and you are given them the rest of your life, she gave him her best years, and if they have a kid, she wrecked her body so he can have a blood line, i mean come the fuck on.

    Strip clubs are like the same thing (i hope im not totally jinxing the rest of us) but i think its in total bad taste when i see a married man come in to the strip club, esp if he starts asking for shit he shouldnt be asking for. So again, I think he should at least listen to his wife's side of the story. Or do the whole she goes to see the males, while you go see the females. Completelly extras free.
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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Whoa! If you KNOW that she would leave you for visiting strip clubs, it seems to me that you don't respect her feelings at all. You only go very rarely, so why go at all?

    I'd say the majority of women have some negative feelings about their husbands patronizing strip clubs. Most don't feel that it is a deal breaker, though. Just imagine what might happen at home if there was a Police raid on the club you just happened to be visiting? Even if you aren't arrested in any way, your face may end up on the news. The media loves anything even remotely sex related, so you are taking a huge chance with your marriage by even going to a strip club.

    My next question is what is wrong with your relationship that you must take these kinds of risks? (That's rhetorical)


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Veteran Member *~Angel~*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    True, I figured that one out personally, but then again I think he is looking for positive advice in an area that can be soo grey.
    ME: Your done already?!? Frickin b*****!

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by *~Angel~* View Post
    Umm okay he can think of touching other half naked women isnt cheating, but again what if she went out to a club and did the exact same thing, you males would b like shes a cheat, move on whatever. You tend to say something, but totally disagree with it next.

    CuriousB you just made the male part of society look like total pieces of crap. Is it that bad in a marriage to want the other person to be faithful, since you did vow that, and you are given them the rest of your life, she gave him her best years, and if they have a kid, she wrecked her body so he can have a blood line, i mean come the fuck on.

    Strip clubs are like the same thing (i hope im not totally jinxing the rest of us) but i think its in total bad taste when i see a married man come in to the strip club, esp if he starts asking for shit he shouldnt be asking for. So again, I think he should at least listen to his wife's side of the story. Or do the whole she goes to see the males, while you go see the females. Completelly extras free.
    I have to disagree with your point about men and women having dual standards in this case. The problem is that both parties have different stadards and expect the other person to adhere to their own even though they don't overlap.This is the point where everything gets messy. I see cheating as mouth to mouth or any direct genital contact, my wife sees it as me sitting in a club watching a naked lady gyrate on a pole. We are both right in this case.

    In an ideal world both parties would try to accomodate each other and all would be well. Human nature sucks and people are flawed so we end up with this situation where we do what is convenient for ourselves. The correct way to handle this situation was to be honest about it before you got married. That ship sailed a long time ago for the OP though.

    I'm going to guess that in the OP's case if he gives up going to clubs he is going to grow to become resentful which could do serious long term damage to the relationship. Something else to consider is that his wife is probably aware of his jaunts but has adopted a don't ask don't tell attitude. Let us face the truth here, it is not easy to hide something like this for as long as he has.

    A final note before I get given too much grief.

    1. I love my wife.
    2. She has continued my bloodline and looks a lot better, fitter and less wrecked than a lot of strippers ten years younger than me.
    3. Doesn't mind if I go to clubs for bachelors parties and just doesn't want to hear about me going any other times. (And if I've been O shouldn't expect any sex for a few days.)
    4. Guys who insult their wives in front of strippers are assholes.
    Last edited by CuriousB; 04-24-2009 at 08:40 AM.

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    I had an agreement with my girlfriend that she knew I went to strip clubs but had a huge issue with it. Don't ask don't tell poilcy worked for a while, but as we got more serious, the long 'define the relationship' conversations and crying about the situation actually helped me make a determination that this relationship was doomed. Oh, and she put some kind of GPS tracker on my car too. That was the final straw. So in my case, Strip Clubs helped me avoid a manipulative woman.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    GPS tracker?Wow!

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    The "don't ask don't tell" policy is working fairly well for me. My SO isn't stupid - she knows I go occasionally, and that even if I told her I would stop, I really wouldn't. After years of realizing that I wasn't blowing the household budget, or staying out all night and sleeping around she has come to terms with my "hobby". Right or wrong, it is what it is.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Hey, Adoringfan, you don't happen to know this lady, by chance?
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=132033


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    ^ OMG

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    You know the issue is not that she doesn't like SC its that you are here asking us the question. We aren't her. She may have any number of problems with your going that we will never mention.

    Instead of asking us why aren't you talking to your wife? before you say she just gets all mad think of how, when, tone of voice, and YOUR agenda when you ask her. If the best sex happens after a SC visit you've gotten stale with sex with her. Why not work on making it better with her? Yeah it takes some time and whole lotta effort but treating her better, and with more love and kindness , will yield a better marriage overall. Sounds like you're pretty much living for these trips to the naked girls. Grow up and be a husband already. Not saying that she doesn't have to do her part but the only person we can change is ourself.

    She wants to know you love her, want her, and damn happy to be with her. If you aren't making her feel that way she's never gonna get better about this. But hey, keep throwing me your money while you think about this...

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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by adoringfan View Post
    I don't get why women are so freaked out by strippers. Do you have any insights or advice?
    I have some advice. Be a better husband.

    Your wife doesn't want you going to strip clubs because she doesn't trust you. Her instincts are right, as proven by the fact that you are sneaking off to strip clubs behind her back, while being fully aware of the fact that she would divorce you if she found out. DIVORCE YOU. Not just get pissed off for a few days, but leave your stupid ass on the curb forever. Of course she doesn't want you going to strip clubs. You are not trustworthy.

    Why are you even asking this question? You obviously don't give a shit about your marriage, and are just going to do whatever you want anyway.
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    Veteran Member Fenriswolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    CuriousB, your view of men is embarrassing. Strange as it may be to you, very few people expect their partners to do 50% of the parenting and work full time if they're not. If they're both working full time, damn right that both partners, no matter the sex, should share housework and parenting equally.

    The idea that you think rape and pillage is something unfortunate missing in your life is very telling. I agree with the sentiment that modern life can suck the soul out of you, a la Fight Club and American Beauty, but would disagree it's sex-based. I relate far more to the concepts in those movies than my male partner, who is very vanilla and content with routine.

    Oh and adoringfan? You need to talk to your wife. I'm sorry you have different boundaries to one another but those boundaries need to be respected, and no one is forcing you to stay in a relationship where you do not feel you are allowed to do things you desire. But dishonesty is never the answer.

    I recently discovered our city has the only S&M club in New Zealand. My partner would never play along, allow me to go, or even be comfortable with me watching live performances. He won't spank me, he won't tie me up, and he sure as fuck won't let me tie him up. It's something I struggle with but sneaking around is the last fucking thing I would ever do to him. The very dishonesty is cheating, and I think you know that.

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Fenriswolf View Post
    I recently discovered our city has the only S&M club in New Zealand. My partner would never play along, allow me to go, or even be comfortable with me watching live performances. He won't spank me, he won't tie me up, and he sure as fuck won't let me tie him up. It's something I struggle with but sneaking around is the last fucking thing I would ever do to him. The very dishonesty is cheating, and I think you know that.
    I very rarely make moral judgements about people but I will make in exception in your case.If you are planning on staying with your partner until you die and are happy that you will never have the opportunity to live out your BDSM fantasies in any form ever again. Keeping in mind that this life is it - no reincarnation, do overs or afterlife. If you can say that you are never, over the next 60 odd years going to feel the slightest bit resentful then you are clearly my moral superior and I'm glad to have met your aquintance even fleetingly on a message board. Most people at some point of their lives have to make make moral compromises.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    I personally think that a married man going to a strip club and enjoying naked women and getting a few dances is natural and harmless, assuming there are no extras. Here are some reasons I can think of why some women get upset:

    1. Some women are just insecure
    2. if the dances are high contact. they dont want some girl grinding on their husbands dick, which they consider theirs. Understandable. I think in this case maybe requesting an air dance would be cool.
    3. if the dances are 2 way contact. I can understand why a lady would not want her hubby groping other titties.
    4. Being a strippers regular/having an emotional bond with the stripper. Women are very sensitive to "emotional cheating". I dont know what my standpoint on this is.
    5. The time spent at the strip club could be spent with the family. If you work a lot then you might not have as much time for the family.
    6. That time that you couldnt afford to splurge to take her out to her favorite fancy resturaunt or get her a necklace. Instead, that money went into some naked strangers pocket. Why dote on a random naked girl instead of your wife.

    I dont think you were making any claims that raping and pillaging is necessary (at least i hope not). I agree males naturally have a tendency to want to see other women. Relationships today are extremely possessive and i think it is unfortunate because i think the jealousy drives wedges in relationships much more than an occasional fun night at a strip club would. However, just as you mentioned men's instinctual tendencies, a married woman has these instinctual tendencies for a reason. Evolutionarily speaking, she wants the guy who knocked her up to stick around and provide instead of philandering and leaving her on her own. Even if you are not going to leave her on her own, there is a certain instinct in women that kicks in and causes this mentality.... just like the instinct against monogomy kicks in for some men and drives them to the SCs.

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    Default Re: Wives and strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    I personally think that a married man going to a strip club and enjoying naked women and getting a few dances is natural and harmless, assuming there are no extras. Here are some reasons I can think of why some women get upset:

    1. Some women are just insecure
    2. if the dances are high contact. they dont want some girl grinding on their husbands dick, which they consider theirs. Understandable. I think in this case maybe requesting an air dance would be cool.
    3. if the dances are 2 way contact. I can understand why a lady would not want her hubby groping other titties.
    4. Being a strippers regular/having an emotional bond with the stripper. Women are very sensitive to "emotional cheating". I dont know what my standpoint on this is.
    5. The time spent at the strip club could be spent with the family. If you work a lot then you might not have as much time for the family.
    6. That time that you couldnt afford to splurge to take her out to her favorite fancy resturaunt or get her a necklace. Instead, that money went into some naked strangers pocket. Why dote on a random naked girl instead of your wife.

    I dont think you were making any claims that raping and pillaging is necessary (at least i hope not). I agree males naturally have a tendency to want to see other women. Relationships today are extremely possessive and i think it is unfortunate because i think the jealousy drives wedges in relationships much more than an occasional fun night at a strip club would. However, just as you mentioned men's instinctual tendencies, a married woman has these instinctual tendencies for a reason. Evolutionarily speaking, she wants the guy who knocked her up to stick around and provide instead of philandering and leaving her on her own. Even if you are not going to leave her on her own, there is a certain instinct in women that kicks in and causes this mentality.... just like the instinct against monogomy kicks in for some men and drives them to the SCs.
    After this post anything else added to the thread will just be internet willy waving (Or the female equivalent whatever that is.)To clarify matters the raping and pillaging was not to be taken seriously. I'll occasionally dip into the old literary bag of tricks (In this case hyperbole.) in order to breathe some life into my posts.

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