I agree about some of the reasons women get upset, but I wonder if many of the guys with wives who have issues with them getting dances, have made an effort to let their wives know that they are wanted and are #1 in their affections?
Personally, If I don't know where I stand in a relationship, I can get jealous, but if I'm secure, then, meh, the jealousy just never kicks in. WHY would I be jealous of my guy getting a lapdance if I know he wants ME 100X's more than the dancer. It's just a fun thing to do and can be really hot to hear about or watch.
As for men with regulars, well, some just have a particular girl they get along with and are attracted to physically, and I don't think most secure wives would have an issue with this. It's when guys get all Gaga over the dancer, thinking it's something more than a fantasy when the problems occur imo.
Oh, and of course women get pissed if a guy spends all his disposable income on another chick.... SC are for the married men who can afford them. It's like anything else, a little restraint and moderation goes a long way.