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Thread: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    No, she wasn't offended,... to say the least...

    BTW,... she was a little "older", but she was beautiful, fit, and had a PERFECT figure... She had just had a boob job (a very good one)... and she was dressed in a smoking-hot, but classy, little Bebe dress that showed off her new and improved boobs.

    It was clear to me that she needed validation regarding her sex appeal... and she needed to debut her new boobs. I assessed that a polite "you look beautiful," wouldn't have been enough... I made her blush a lot during dinner (with humor) and after dinner... she made ME blush back at her place...
    Of course a polite one wouldn't. An enthusiastic one would. I know that some women like that sort of talk, from some guys, depending how it's done, though they sometimes pretend not to at first.

    I often see people in forums with this... annoying... habit...
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

  2. #252
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    I know that some women like that sort of talk, from some guys, depending how it's done, though they sometimes pretend not to at first.
    I read somewhere that the only thing women hate more than being treated as a sex object is NOT being treated as a sex object... Maybe it was Confucious that said this...

    But, seriously,... I think if a women is already getting too much sexual attention... She will prefer a man who will validate other aspects of herself, like her intelligence... On the other hand, a woman who does not get enough sexual attention (e.g., because she is married to a low-libido guy, is too busy with her school or career, is a busy single working mother, is living in a very repressed environment or is getting a little older) will be very receptive to a man that is excited by her and validates her sex appeal...

  3. #253
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^There's a big space between not being treated as a sex object adn being treated as a sex object. If instead of saying you want a better look at her boobs you just told her she looks great, she would have got the message, especially if she was hanging out for it herself.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

  4. #254
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I read somewhere that the only thing women hate more than being treated as a sex object is NOT being treated as a sex object... Maybe it was Confucious that said this...

    But, seriously,... I think if a women is already getting too much sexual attention... She will prefer a man who will validate other aspects of herself, like her intelligence... On the other hand, a woman who does not get enough sexual attention (e.g., because she is married to a low-libido guy, is too busy with her school or career, is a busy single working mother, is living in a very repressed environment or is getting a little older) will be very receptive to a man that is excited by her and validates her sex appeal...
    Jack, she had low self -esteem. There's a big difference.
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  5. #255
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    ^There's a big space between not being treated as a sex object adn being treated as a sex object. If instead of saying you want a better look at her boobs you just told her she looks great, she would have got the message, especially if she was hanging out for it herself.
    She told me she had just had a boob job and, with what she was wearing,... she was obviously showing them off to the world... I could have responded with, "They look nice." in a gentlemanly fashion... But, that would have made me sound lame...

    When I moved my chair to get a better look at her boobs I did it in a very excited and humorous manner that made her laugh and blush... Also, the comfort and chemistry was already established, before I did this...

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    Featured Member vmurphy252's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^I think at least my original point was that when you DON'T have a pre-established rapport with someone that the "You're hot" would be less appropriate than "You've got pretty eyes, nice smile, etc...". Of course, that in itself is a generalization, because many different factors play into any interpersonal interaction.

    In your example, it sounds like there was already some kind of comfort level established, so it was probably more appropriate, and she obviously liked it well enough (although your description doesn't discount Jay's point about low self-esteem).

    Babble, babble, babble... sorry for rambling.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by vmurphy252 View Post
    ^I think at least my original point was that when you DON'T have a pre-established rapport with someone that the "You're hot" would be less appropriate than "You've got pretty eyes, nice smile, etc...". Of course, that in itself is a generalization, because many different factors play into any interpersonal interaction.

    In your example, it sounds like there was already some kind of comfort level established, so it was probably more appropriate, and she obviously liked it well enough (although your description doesn't discount Jay's point about low self-esteem).

    Babble, babble, babble... sorry for rambling.
    I agree that you need to have some rapport, but you can get that really fast... If during 5 minutes, she laughs at all your jokes... you have rapport...

    Again, I think it has to do more with the kind of validation she needs... if she is already getting too much sexual attention and you say to her "you're hot"... she'll probably reply, "no shit, jerkoff!" But, an over-worked single mom who doesn't get to dress up and go out much might enjoy that "excited" comment... She already gets the polite "You've got pretty eyes, nice smile, etc." from her friends and family... She wants to know that she still has the sex appeal to turn a guy wild...

    Then, again, who knows?.. You might get slapped...

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^I do understand what you're saying, I just would never take that approach myself. I would use my voice and body language to indicate something more sexual WITH the "You've got amazing eyes" rather than something more blatant. But I've never been much of a player, so it's never been an issue for me. To each their own.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by vmurphy252 View Post
    ^I do understand what you're saying, I just would never take that approach myself. I would use my voice and body language to indicate something more sexual WITH the "You've got amazing eyes" rather than something more blatant. But I've never been much of a player, so it's never been an issue for me. To each their own.
    I'm not sure... You may come across incongruent and therefore creepy or sinister, if your verbal language is polite, but your body language is sexual... I think it was Paris who talked about verbal/body language incongruity and she was dead on...

    I'm not a "player" either... I'm just very sensitive to "validation" needs because I've got plenty of my own...

    I wonder why no woman has interjected her opinion on this issue... Though, I would suspect that most dancers would be in the "already gets too much sexual attention" category and prefer other types of recognition and validation... So, they would probably agree with you... But, if we went to a more general woman's forum it might be more mixed... Some women want to be told they have sex appeal in a very direct manner.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    She told me she had just had a boob job and, with what she was wearing,... she was obviously showing them off to the world... I could have responded with, "They look nice." in a gentlemanly fashion... But, that would have made me sound lame...

    When I moved my chair to get a better look at her boobs I did it in a very excited and humorous manner that made her laugh and blush... Also, the comfort and chemistry was already established, before I did this...
    You didn't tell us all this straight away, did you? We were talking about what to say to a woman on first meeting her, when attempting to pick her up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I agree that you need to have some rapport, but you can get that really fast... If during 5 minutes, she laughs at all your jokes... you have rapport...

    Again, I think it has to do more with the kind of validation she needs... if she is already getting too much sexual attention and you say to her "you're hot"... she'll probably reply, "no shit, jerkoff!" But, an over-worked single mom who doesn't get to dress up and go out much might enjoy that "excited" comment... She already gets the polite "You've got pretty eyes, nice smile, etc." from her friends and family... She wants to know that she still has the sex appeal to turn a guy wild...

    Then, again, who knows?.. You might get slapped...
    You mean it only works when you are lying about it? Even a hot, over-worked, single mom sees herself in the mirror after she steps out of the shower each morning.

    I agree that in finve minutes you can have rapport, if you are a smooth or entertaining guy. What you are saying is if she already likes you after a short time, she doesn't mind how overtly sexual your comments are.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I'm not sure... You may come across incongruent and therefore creepy or sinister, if your verbal language is polite, but your body language is sexual... I think it was Paris who talked about verbal/body language incongruity and she was dead on...

    I'm not a "player" either... I'm just very sensitive to "validation" needs because I've got plenty of my own...

    I wonder why no woman has interjected her opinion on this issue... Though, I would suspect that most dancers would be in the "already gets too much sexual attention" category and prefer other types of recognition and validation... So, they would probably agree with you... But, if we went to a more general woman's forum it might be more mixed... Some women want to be told they have sex appeal in a very direct manner.
    I still think we all must agree that the first compliment out of our mouth on meeting a girl for the first time should not be "your boobs are nice" or "you have a great ass" or "a rockin' body". It might work if you are both dancing at a night club and you've both been drinking. Then again, maybe not.

    Okay point about incongruity of body language and speech, but I don't think V had in mind letting your tongue hang out or grinning like a dirty old uncle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    You mean it only works when you are lying about it? Even a hot, over-worked, single mom sees herself in the mirror after she steps out of the shower each morning.
    That's not true. There are plenty of potentially "hot" women that do not feel sexy because they're too busy working (or with kids) and they don't dress up or go out often... They wear frumpy clothes... But, when they put on a sexy little dress and high heels... they are hot...

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    I still think we all must agree that the first compliment out of our mouth on meeting a girl for the first time should not be "your boobs are nice" or "you have a great ass" or "a rockin' body".
    That probably should not the very FIRST thing that comes out of your mouth upon FIRST meeting her. In my example, it was our first DATE,... we had met already... but, we were just getting to know each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    but I don't think V had in mind letting your tongue hang out or grinning like a dirty old uncle.
    If he is being very polite verbally, but he is staring at her tits (even without his tongue hanging out)... That is worst because it shows he is only ACTING like a nice guy and gentleman... (The incongruity is creepy.) Whereas if I am being overtly sexual in a funny and joking manner (and congruent), I'm just a regular funny and horny guy. (Not creepy.)

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Jack, she had low self -esteem. There's a big difference.
    I don't think so... She was a secure and happy person overall... I think it was more like insecurity... But, everyone has insecurities... We're strong and secure in one area, but feel inadequate and insecure in another...

    An insecure person just needs a little encouragement and validation... A low self-esteem person cannot be encourage... She has resigned to a state of low self-worth...

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    ...

    If he is being very polite verbally, but he is staring at her tits (even without his tongue hanging out)... That is worst because it shows he is only ACTING like a nice guy and gentleman... (The incongruity is creepy.) Whereas if I am being overtly sexual in a funny and joking manner (and congruent), I'm just a regular funny and horny guy. (Not creepy.)
    Sorry, I left out "staring at her tits". I do get what you mean - a guy can have a manner which radiates horniness and say "you are beautiful" in an incogruous way. But I don't think that is the type of manner V had in mind..
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    That's not true. There are plenty of potentially "hot" women that do not feel sexy because they're too busy working (or with kids) and they don't dress up or go out often... They wear frumpy clothes... But, when they put on a sexy little dress and high heels... they are hot...
    Still sounds like they are just disguising themselves as hot. A genuinely hot body is hot all the time. But I do think that many attractive women just don't know they are attractive, in or out of sexy clothes. Women are either criticalof themselves or just have a wrong or narrow idea of what attractive is for a man.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    A genuinely hot body is hot all the time.
    Strippers are masters of disguise. They are not as hot as they appear on stage. They also can dress down when they do not want to be bothered when out shopping.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    Strippers are masters of disguise. They are not as hot as they appear on stage. They also can dress down when they do not want to be bothered when out shopping.
    That was what I meant by "disguise". Of course, a naturally hot woman looks hotter if she dresses to accentuate her hot attributes and she at other times dresses to obscure them. What's your point?
    Last edited by Hopper; 05-15-2009 at 08:41 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    What's your point?
    You said
    Quote Originally Posted by Hopper View Post
    A genuinely hot body is hot all the time.
    My point is that a hot body can be hidden and you will not know it is hot.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl_the_Pearl View Post
    You said

    My point is that a hot body can be hidden and you will not know it is hot.
    Even if it's hidden it's still hot underneath. I said that in the context of how a hot woman would see herself and pointed out that she sees herself naked every day.
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

  22. #272
    Featured Member vmurphy252's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^Hopper has done a good job of speaking for me.

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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^Lazy!
    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    we are all perverts in the SC in my opinion. Hes a pervert, you're a pervert, I'm a pervert.

  24. #274
    Featured Member vmurphy252's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^Hey, I have a life sometimes. I'm not going to retype everything you said... oh, right, that's cuz I'm lazy. Good call.

  25. #275
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    Default Re: Men's Guide for Picking Up Hot Women

    ^For the record, I was talking about the more classic "flirty" behaviors: prolonged eye contact (reasonably prolonged), smiling, maybe a touch on the shoulder or hand if it seems appropriate, leaning towards, playing with your hair (oh, wait, that's for the female to do...). I agree leering at breasts while talking like Byron could be construed as creepy (but entertaining to any outside observers). Also, the nuance of voice can completely change the meaning of a phrase (again, wanting to avoid creepy); "You have amazing eyes" can be said in a way that communicates both "You're hot" and a respect for the woman (or guy, if that's what you're into; not that there's anything wrong with that).

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