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Thread: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

  1. #1
    Senior Member Jaden_GD's Avatar
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    Default CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    I just started working at a topless club. I thought it was ALL topless, but I guess in the champagne room you can go all nude. Manager failed to tell me that when he hired me.

    Anyway, I used to dance nude, and my boyfriend really didn't like it. He said he'd prefer that I work at a topless club. I prefer that too, actually. But getting nude in the CR wouldn't really bother me because the lights are really dim and I wouldn't dance so that my kitty would be in the guy's face or anything.

    I just don't know if I should tell my man. I know he wouldn't like it, but I don't want to quit working there. I do NOT want to hurt him or jeopardize his trust in me either.

    Any help ladies??

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    Default Re: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    I don't have a boyfriend right now so I can't say exactly what I would do... but most likely I would tell him. I mean if he finds out he might really mistrust you after that and it might hurt the relationship. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard for him to find out either if he checked out the website or a strip club review or whatever.

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    Default Re: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    I think you should tell him. It would be worse if he happens to find out if you did hid it from him. If he loves you and actually cares and supports you, than he shouldn't go ballistic insane. When I told my boyfriend, he opposed it as if I told him I was addicted to Meth...but he did say that he appreciate the fact that I did tell him.

    Just tell him that at least your not nude full time like the past club.

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    Veteran Member chitownchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    tell him, because he will find out, you will slip up and say something about it or someone you know will say something or something will happen and he will find out. you can be pretty sure of this. here is the thing, i stopped dancing for my ex, we didnt talk about it, i just quit assuming this would make everything better, i wanted to be wih him so badly and i wanted to do whatever it would take. however, me personaly, i couldnt stay away from dancing. im not ready to quit yet. my ex and i would have ended up breaking up anyways, but i really wanted to keep dancing. so after all this shit, years after, i stopped for a little while and in the meantime i met my current boyfriend. he saw me trying for about 5 months to find other work maily because before we dated he always talked about how he could never date a dancer so i just assumed he wouldnt date me if i danced. i finally sat him down and said look, if this bothers you at all i want you to tell me because you mean alot to me and i dont want this to ruin us, but what would you think anout me dancing, and he was ok with me going back to it. i do think it takes a certain type of man to be able to date a dancer. i made sure to make sure he knew that if he feels weird about it at anytime, to tell me right away because i dont want him to start resenting me or getting aqngry about dancing. his request was that i dont talk about lap dances or the men i dance for at home which i understand. so sorry this is drawn out, but basically you need to lay everything out for him. and make sure you are willing to work with him if he says he doesnt want you dancing nude. explain to him that you want to be with him but you like dancing, explain reasons why you like it, becuase alot of men think women like dancing for the attention which may be true but i love it because i love money, i love having cash in my hands and my boyfriend knows i have always been indepenent and i like having my own moneyand not having to ask him for money. so talk to him about it, explain everything, contact, when your nude, all that stuff and work from there. its not as much of an issue as you seem to be mentally thinking it will be. just be prepared to work thing s out.
    "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the vip section...."

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    Senior Member LittleMissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    ^^^ I deleted my post to give a better response.. I completely agree with you that it takes a certain type of man to date a dancer. The one that I was dating was always putting me down for it. Always calling me names and saying that he couldn't respect me because I took my clothes off to make a living.

    My current one.. cares less. He loves that I'm independent and when I had first started dating him I had stopped dancing for a while after the abusive relationship. Like you I didn't stray away for long and I had talked to him about it before going back. He didn't stop me or even discourage me but he said that "A girl's gotta eat" and so far he's been perfect. I'm still waiting for that day for him to to be like "baby, please quit for me" like all the rest of them have..

    But the less I tell my boyfriend about details at the club the better off we are. That's just the way I see it. Why bring the drama. I skip from club to club from time to time and when he had nonchalantly asked one day if the recent club I jumped on to was nude. I said yes when you're on stage. His reaction was "so... I bet a lot of guys like your trim job thanks to my good taste" (he has prerequisites for the way he likes me down there - go figure.. haha) We're very open with each other and the comfort level is completely there. You have to be that way with your boyfriend or else it'll make him insecure.
    "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone - just as wild - to run with."







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    Senior Member Jaden_GD's Avatar
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    Default Re: CR - Help! (boyfriend stuff)

    Thank you all so much for your helpful responses!!
    I actually talked to him about it, and he was surprisingly totally cool. I was like...so you're not upset? And he said no, I can't believe you think I'd be mad about that.
    Wow. I really have to give that guy more credit.
    I think I tend to overreact to things sometimes.
    Again, thank you all so much for your thoughts.

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