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Thread: touching allowed at new job

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    Default touching allowed at new job

    i just started this week at a new VERY nice club, but after i signed the
    contract i found out that in the back rooms (where all the lap dances
    are) that touching is completely encouraged. basically manditory of us to
    allow it. i've never worked in a club that allows touching before and
    everyone acts like its totally normal. i love the club otherwise but this
    is making me feel really gross, basically simulating sex in these private
    rooms with a big couch, and the customer can touch you anywhere except
    the thong area. i hate being touched by these guys!! i don't know if i should just try to get used to it, or what i should do. its the "safest" fanciest biggest club in the area, and the other clubs are actually pretty sleazy, except for one i already tried and they said it wasn't a good fit.
    have any of you gone through this and how did you feel about it?
    is it unusual for clubs to allow touching for regular "lap dances" (at $30 a song)?
    the only other thing the club offers are table dances at $15 a song out on
    the main floor.
    any advice, thoughts, or experiences you can give would be appreciated.
    thanks!!

  2. #2
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    I would never let someone touch me for $30. You dont HAVE to let guys touch - just enforce that you don't do that and if you lose repeat dances then so be it. If you are uncomfortable about it your esteem will go down the toilet and you will start to hate the place. Lots (most) the girls at my club let guys touch in the vip area but I dont... and a few others dont. Have I lost money? Sure but I still end up as a top earner in the end.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Do not "make" yourself comfortable with something you are not comfortable with. This is degrading and you will hate yourself for compromising your morals in the end. Set your boundries and stick to them. If you can't work anywhere else than yes you may lose some money but it will be worth it. You don't want to leave feeling disgusting.
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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    The club can't make you do contact dances. I don't know why they'd even give a crap as long as you still sell dances. Just tell the customers that you don't allow touching. They'll either buy dances or they won't. If they don't, then you can cross that bridge when you come to it.
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    the main manager himself told me that they can touch you in those rooms, that that's why
    the guys go back there at all. i'll ask around some more though. i work tomorrow's day shift
    so i'll know more soon and can make my decision. i love dancing and the part i like of lap
    dances is making them keep their grubby hands off me, not on me!!
    yeah, i don't think my self-esteem could take this long term, esp. because i was abused as a
    child and the touching creeps me out. wish i could handle it since i need the money... oh, well,
    maybe it will work out somehow. thanks!

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    Veteran Member chris91's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    I think that as long as you tell the customers up front that they cannot touch you in the rooms, and they still buy the room, I doubt the managers would care. They only care if you sell rooms. Usually when managers tell you that guys can touch you, it's just to let you know that you won't get in trouble for it. If they see you on the cameras in a room thats been paid for, doing a no contact dance, they're not going to pull you out of the room and yell at you because the dude isn't touching you.
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    Veteran Member chitownchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    i would give it a try, dont let the guys touch you, and if a guy says that a certain girl let them do this or that he is probably lying. the club i work at is low - basically no contact and the guys will try to say that this girl let them touch her and im not going to make any money if i dont do the same. make sure you do what your comfortable with. i was sexually abused and some guys i just have a problem with, becuase of that i just lose money but i make myself comfortable. if you dont like it at all and for some reason cant make good money with the whol econtact thing hanging over your head then leave and maybe try somewhere not in your city but in a surrounding area, but not to far.? not sure where you are from though..
    "I need a Win Dixie grocery bag full of money right now to the vip section...."

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    Veteran Member oregonchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    I don't know what the laws are in your area but I would have to say its a good bet that if a customer pays you $30 and is expecting to be able to touch your breasts and your buttocks that is probably considered sexual contact and that you could and probably will get in trouble if you allow it. I recommend that you research the laws in your area. If you find that this is indeed illegal and management is encouraging it well then you are working in a club that will eventually get in trouble. No doubt.

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    Senior Member BoxOfPandora's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    I'm in the same situation... I told some grabby fucker he wasn't allowed to touch me, and all he did during the dance was fucking hump me, so I told him to sit down and keeps his dirty hands off me (I should've actually said it like that.) He demanded his money back which I wouldn't give, so he PUSHED me off of him. I took the shortcut to the DJ booth and told him what happened.

    He didn't do a goddamn thing about him attacking me (I've had customers bite me too and he didn't do anything) but gave me shit for not letting him touch me. These guys basically come here to TOUCH not to look. Sucks because it's the only club where I can make any money.

    ^Unfortunately touching is allowed in many areas now. There's nothing illegal about it. Why did the good old days end before I started stripping?
    Last edited by BoxOfPandora; 05-15-2009 at 05:47 AM.
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    all the customers know that these are "full contact" rooms, and they expect it. that's what i found out yesterday at work, partly from the customers and partly from the dancers. they expect to be able to do anything they want in there except mess with your g-string! there are
    cameras all over the place but as long as there is no sex it doesn't matter. i had two guys yesterday sucking on my nipples hard and i would try to stop them but they seemed to think they had the right. so i don't think i can keep working there. and it apparently IS legal here
    somehow.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    If you do it , tell them that the club doesn't allow touching anywhere a bikini would cover. Don't do anything you aren't comfy with!

    Oh ... I just re-read your last post. You don't have to let them near your boobs! You can say " touching is allowed back there" ect. to sell the room, but touching can mean your arms, waist , legs - it doesn't have to be sexual touching. They are only spending $30 - I can't think of anywhere in the U.S. where $30 is a fair price for that level of contact.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Quote Originally Posted by BoxOfPandora View Post
    I'm in the same situation... I told some grabby fucker he wasn't allowed to touch me, and all he did during the dance was fucking hump me, so I told him to sit down and keeps his dirty hands off me (I should've actually said it like that.) He demanded his money back which I wouldn't give, so he PUSHED me off of him. I took the shortcut to the DJ booth and told him what happened.

    He didn't do a goddamn thing about him attacking me (I've had customers bite me too and he didn't do anything) but gave me shit for not letting him touch me. These guys basically come here to TOUCH not to look. Sucks because it's the only club where I can make any money.

    ^Unfortunately touching is allowed in many areas now. There's nothing illegal about it. Why did the good old days end before I started stripping?
    that is really horrible that your club allows attacks like that. i'm so sorry
    that those things happened to you. it helps me to know that because
    i don't want that to happen to me. bad stuff can happen so fast back there if nobody cares. thanks for telling me about your experiences. i hope things get better for you!

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Quote Originally Posted by evetease View Post
    all the customers know that these are "full contact" rooms, and they expect it. that's what i found out yesterday at work, partly from the customers and partly from the dancers. they expect to be able to do anything they want in there except mess with your g-string! there are
    cameras all over the place but as long as there is no sex it doesn't matter. i had two guys yesterday sucking on my nipples hard and i would try to stop them but they seemed to think they had the right. so i don't think i can keep working there. and it apparently IS legal here
    somehow.
    I would have beat the ever loving shit out of them.

    Where you you work, sweetie?

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    Member Bluegrassgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Make 'em sit on their hands. That manager needs a swift kick to the groin. See if there aren't other clubs farther away--it may be worth the 2 hour drive.


    Get some help with your childhood abuse--it really is possible to heal up from that. Respect YOURSELF--you are all you've really got in this world, and at the end of the day knowing yourself is the most important task while you are on this Earth.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Wow. I guess I am practically alone in being surprised that there are clubs where no touching is the norm. I really thought those had gone the way of the neon yellow slingback thongs. I've never worked at a no-contact club, and I don't think I'd be able to sell a single dance if the customers couldn't touch me. Granted, I've only worked at four clubs, and they were all in New Orleans.

    It would be awesome if I could get by doing air dances, but I can't. I am totally envious of the dancers who do. My first club was a very high-contact club, and so that is what I see as the norm now. I don't like the contact, but I guess you could say I have adjusted to it. Still, that is not a pleasant experience, and I would never encourage anybody else to force themselves to do something until they got used to it. I am historically bad at setting boundaries, though.

    But yeah, I agree with the posters who say you need to set your own rules with the customers. Just bc every other girl lets them fondle her boobs doesn't mean you have to. And if you find it impossible to make money AND stick to your boundaries, then find a different club.

    And get some help with the sexual abuse issues. I'm reading this book right now--"The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz. It's pretty good.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    Wow. I guess I am practically alone in being surprised that there are clubs where no touching is the norm. I really thought those had gone the way of the neon yellow slingback thongs. I've never worked at a no-contact club, and I don't think I'd be able to sell a single dance if the customers couldn't touch me.
    Actually, these days, private dance area touching is expected in the vast majority of cities. At least this is the case if dancers wish to sell more than one private dance. Having to start 'fighting' with customers to keep their hands off my tits was one of the major reasons that I decided to retire from live club dancing altogether.

    If you're lucky enough to work in a city where touching is truly not allowed, and not expected by club customers even if it is not allowed, then you are definitely the exception to the rule these days.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    But the problem with absolutely no touching is that the money just doesn't seem to be there no matter how beautiful or intelligent you are or how great your dancing is. I'm leaving my awesome absolutely no contact Orlando area club for a contact one in Cocoa Beach starting next week because of that. I've never done contact but I plan to set specific limits (hands off the tits, don't get your hands near my puss puss or bum hole) and enforce them... and I know some of the customers will get pissy, but I don't give a shit. They can go find a girl that will let them finger her and enjoy something that's already had twenty fingers in it and get finger leprosy or swine flu from it. And I will laugh at them very quietly while I count out the money I make off the men that appreciate a classy, intelligent dame like myself, because in my experience those are the guys that actually have tons of money to blow.

    I've got a couple of ideas to try out, like cupping my boobs in a sexy fashion so he can't get at them until I distract him with something else, and remembering that "lap dance" doesn't mean I have to stay in his lap the whole time, esp. since a lot of guys don't like grinding.

    I've been sexually abused too, and what helps me do my job is to tell myself that I have power over my body and my sexuality now, and I will never let anyone else take that power away from me again. I've been accused of being a bitch, but that seems to come from guys who don't get why they can't push me around, and from girls who don't get why I don't let guys do that. If I am a bitch, I'm a happy one and I'm a bitch who is very loved by her man and her friends.

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    Default Re: touching allowed at new job

    my club is really hard contact ($40 a dance so i guess guys expect it).

    The first dance i did the guy didnt do anything...

    The second dance I did was for this guy who's friend was the DJ so he had been there all day and knew it was my first day and been really nice. I figured it would be an easy dance since he was a lot older and was being fatherly to me.... worst dance ever! I was so creeped out he was all over me...

    Depending on the guy I dance differently... I'm more leanant with the younger/cuter guys tho ironically those have been the ones who keep their hands to themselves! if its an older guy and he's getting touchy I just casually switch positions or brush his hand away if he's touching my chest/thong area (I don't really care if he's touching my hips/legs or whatever). I haven't had anybody get mad yet but I'd rather lose the dance than feel gross afterward.

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