
when theirs on;y two dancers (you and another girl)
when is super dead almost everyday
when they close early because the lack of people
when they let guys down into the dressing room and don't care
when every guy comes for only extras
when guys only come for the cheap drinks
when you try to up sale a lap dance they don't have money or too broke but they give you 2 bucks
when mostly couples and girls come into the club
when dancers wear beat up thongs and don't care what they wear
when the manger throws ones at you too
when the DR have mirrors but they super dirty and chipped to the max with broke make up lights
when the DR room is super small and has nasty tacky carpet
when the DR room is missing a roof panel right wear the bathrooms upstairs are so everything a custie or custette flushes it smell like crap and drips
when in the DR it has a shower instead of using it as a shower people use it to piss in.
I could go on and on lol





When the Mgr makes an announcement for the guys to go pee outside, cause it's super crowded & there's only 1 bathroom.
When the pkging lot is 'paved' w/a bunch of stones.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt

When your stage set gets interrupted for an announcement that someone needs to pay the takeout chinese food guy.
When you see giant rats in the dressing room.
When all of the smoke detectors are ripped off in the entire establishment.
When dancer you don't even know asks to wear tonight the thong you have on already.
When you get tipped with an already scratched $2 winning lotto scratch ticket
^from a dive so bad it should be called a bellyflop.
You know you're working at a dive when the "champaign rooms" are just lazy boys 😂





-When your stage show gets interrupted by a fight breaking out.
-When one of the fighters takes a seven minute break to go on stage.
-When the manager keeps narcan in his desk for an emergency.
-When you get complimented on teeth more than tits.
-When you're the only dancer without stretch marks or a c section scar.
-When the girl on stage has a house arrest bracelet on and doesn't even bother to cover it up with leg warmers.
(Welcome to half the clubs I've worked at in Ohio.)




When customers frequently comment, "I can't believe this place is still open" or "I thought you were closed!"
When the exterior in the daytime definitely looks like an abandoned building
...when some of the girls shave their crotches in the dressing room.
LOL! This is on point. My place is exactly like that, fortunately that fact that it's a clean club, all the girls get along, and good managers all make up for it!





Yep. It gets better: if you don't have a landline-and a lot of people, including this girl, don't-you get stuck with a huge, black device, resembling the very first cell phones. Leg warmers would have totally covered it up-the fluffy ones, not the tight ones-and she had several pairs. Maybe she left it exposed as a warning to coworkers and customers alike not to fuck with her? Maybe as a prop to get extra money out of regulars for court costs? Maybe cuz she knew that it was far from the best stamp of diveness there. So was that time all the lights went out when I was on stage cuz the electric bill wasn't paid in four months.




Lol!
So I worked at a club and they hadn't paid the internet, phone bill, coca cola delivery, alarm company, and probably a stack of other things in months. One night a drunk customer wandered down the stairs and flipped the breaker and all the girls were sitting in the dressing room like dayum did they cut the power off?
The DR reeks of 'Love Spell' or someone tries to cover B.O. by choking everyone in perfume instead of washing up in the shower or bathroom somewhere.
You don't know the original color/design of the DR carpet.
They only have enough lights for the front half of the main room.
The black lights makes everyone look gross & dirty instead of 'dreamy'.
The DJ plays music that 'throws you off' or makes your dance difficult until you tip him.
The bouncer spends half his time in the DR chatting & eating.





My favorite dive, we had these rickety wooden stairs up to the front door that had a wide red stripe down the middle. Glittery, painted "red carpet".
When they throw a customer face first down that "red carpet" because he tried to attack a dancer while she was on stage
Serving drinks in plastic disposable cups
holes in the walls from dancers accidentally flinging their heels off while doing pole tricks or lap dances.

The pole is actually a giant support beam and if you touch the ceiling, then you run the risk of electrocuting yourself due to all of the loose wires and constantly leaking roof.
Omg I think I worked in a dive and have been in denial that it was a dive. Smdh
The club has rageddy ass chairs That have nasty fabric upholstery and some have missing wheels on the bottom making them unstable if you sit in them.
Club looks like it was designed in the 70's and hasn't been updated
The dressing room looks like it's from the 80's with a dirty ass floor that your feet stick to when walking over it (I dry heave seeing anyone walk barefooted on that floor)
There was a vending machine that you had to literally take all your strength to shake because the items would hang on the edge and not come out.
A lot of shit was either broken or malfunctioned - light fixtures, etc.
Shitty dressing room lighting not even a clown could put makeup on. Lightbulbs would be out or would be mismatched like some fluorescent and some soft white.
Bugs and flies and roaches and getting bit several times during shift, complaining to management and they're like oh we're going to do something about that?!? So bad at one point housemoms just used citronella candles like that was going to solve the problem. I'm like no hoes quit being cheap, use the money from those high ass fees y'all collect, and call an exterminator.
Papers and flyers littering the doors, walls, and mirrors. Like take this shit down. No one cares about fuggin lame drink specials this isn't hooters its a strip club quit encouraging cheap drunks to not spend money.
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”
...when you commonly work with newbies who auditioned after watching Showgirls and are horrified by the reality of working as dive strippers, and you remember when you too were a wide-eyed newb who started dancing after you watched some stripper movie, but literally nothing hits your radar as bizarre or gross anymore because you. have. seen. everything.

You hear a dancer talking (bragging?), to another dancer at the bar about one of her customers just got out of prison... And he was mad at her for not writing to him enough.... But her boyfriend was in prison at the same time, so OF COURSE she was going to write to her boyfriend.
Ugh.
If customers are still going to be handsy, I'm keeping both layers of thongs securely in place, thankyouverymuch.
~~~Candycups
^^^^ lol! Reminds me of a time I unfortunately overheard two dancers in the dressing room and one was like girl how do I put money on the books for my dude? I'm like is she for real? These are some low class broads right here. Welcome to the dive!
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”




This club I'm working at this week is the biggest joke ever. This has got to be the worst club if you can even call it that. You get paid by the hour. There are barely any customers. The owner keeps most all of the lap dance money. You go ont stage all of the time. And barely make much. However, there are two rooms where anything goes. I believe there's a lock on the door. I'm not sure because I've never gone in those rooms. And the ladies charge whatever they want for anything. It's like the Bermuda Triangle or something. I plan on finishing the week. Getting my paycheck on Friday and not returning ever again.





When the owner, who's a major A/hole, comes in the club & throws the customers out just cause they're not drinking fast enough. Also charges house mom fee, & there's no house mom lol.
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt




When girls don't even bother trying to hide their track marks.
God, this thread makes me grateful to work where I do!
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