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Thread: You know your working in a dive if.......

  1. #126
    Senior Member amorescudero's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When they constantly run out of towels to wipe the pole...so a customer politely brings in a box of "mechanic shop" towels for the girls to use. And yes they put that big ol pretty box right on stage for everone to see...

    When you constantly have girls walking around asking to borrow your shoes bc they dont have any....

    When the bouncers drink more then the customers do...

    When you have girls who come into work a day after having an abortion....and they let everyone know this...

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  3. #127
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When the owner of the club is the also the Manager/lapdance timer guy.

    The jukebox is the DJ

    You make $10 for each $20 lapdance (topless)

    Best nights are a lil over $150

    The manager tells you there are men coming in with money and by the end of the night only 3 cheap fucks walked in.

    When you take off manager calls you and tells you alot of men are in spending money and by the time you come in the club is empty and there is only 1 other girl working there. And when you ask the girl what did I miss?, she says NOTHING! and burst out laughing after hearing what the manager told you over the phone.

    and most importantly, after your stage set the manager tells you to go back on stage because there are no girls in to take over.



    The funny thing is that the owner treated me like I needed him more than he needed me. He tried to fine me for taking a few sips of beer because I was 19. And that was after the night before when he allowed one of the former dancers who was 18 to get wasted along with her friends at the club the night before. Needless to say I told him "I ain't paying you shit! good luck finding dancers who's willing to work at your place and let alone put up with your shit." He said you'll come begging for your job back ain't no club gonna hire you cuz you are young and inexperienced.
    Boy was he wrong!

    I moved to NYC and started getting use to real money 500 and up. Bastard called me weeks later and I hung up in his face. Who's laughing now punk :p

  4. #128
    Veteran Member MysteriousMisty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    when drinks are served in styrofoam cups

    when they lack open bar

    when there's no coffee

    when there's the heavy stench of weed in the air for hours

    when management, the valet attendant or backdoor guy doesn't lift a finger to help a dancer that's been mugged in the parking lot or attacked by customers right inside the club

    no house fee Sun-Thu (lack of business means no money for the girls) yet, the night shift house mom
    still demands $10 tips whether you eat her stinking food or not.

    when a manager stands that and hounds you for a $2 tip KNOWING you've had a shitty night and made less than $50!

    when flashing pussy in a topless club is OK

    when the manager and DJ are BFF and the manager allows the DJ to openly disrespect some of the dancers.

    when the cushions of the seats are so worn out you can feel the springs

    no matter how much mopping, sweeping, and vacuuming is done, the place still looks and smells filthy.
    Last edited by MysteriousMisty; 08-05-2011 at 09:10 AM.

  5. #129
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Wow, in the state of Virginia, the only clubs that (according to the previous descriptions) are not dives are:

    -Paper Moon (the three of them)
    -Minx
    -RC's

    ALL THE OTHER 28 CLUBS FROM THE STATE OF VIRGINIA ARE DIVES!!!!!!





  6. #130
    Veteran Member The_Ecdysiast's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    -When all the furniture has holes in it

    -When the stages are the size of a 4x4 kitchen table

    -When there is no real cleaning staff

    -The entire place looks like it needs Extreme Home Makeovers to do a total overhaul

    -No VIP areas or Champagne Rooms

    -No bouncers available to walk you to your car when your shift is over

  7. #131
    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    -When girls are dancing in cowboy boots and flats.
    -When the lap dance room consist of three couches and black bed sheets.
    -When jiggling belly fat is considered dancing.
    -When the complete roster of hired dancers numbers at 5.

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  9. #132
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When up until 2008, your club used a tape player to play stage sets...lol
    When, because of our tape system, the head bartender aka the 'dj' would yell at every dancer as she got on stage in regards to her tape 'DOOO YUU WANT SIDEUH A OR SIDEUH B?!?!?!??!!"
    When the dressing room bathroom's sink's handle is replaced with a wrench when it breaks, and just...left that way for a good year.

  10. #133
    Senior Member KatRocks's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Wow, in the state of Virginia, the only clubs that (according to the previous descriptions) are not dives are:

    -Paper Moon (the three of them)
    -Minx
    -RC's


    ALL THE OTHER 28 CLUBS FROM THE STATE OF VIRGINIA ARE DIVES!!!!!!
    Bwahah. This is so true. I worked at 1320 for abit and alot of this applies. Seriously hate the commonwealth..

  11. #134
    Senior Member KatRocks's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    you know you are working at a dive if...
    the club is in a strip mall between a dollar store and Indian mart.

  12. #135
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    ^I had been almost everywhere in Virginia (except for Roanoke), and yes, the majority of clubs in the commonwealth are fucking dives! Plus, the money is not that great either (heck, MD, DC and NC have way better money making potential!).





  13. #136
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Ecdysiast View Post
    -When all the furniture has holes in it

    -When the stages are the size of a 4x4 kitchen table

    -When there is no real cleaning staff

    -The entire place looks like it needs Extreme Home Makeovers to do a total overhaul

    -No VIP areas or Champagne Rooms

    -No bouncers available to walk you to your car when your shift is over

    Yeah, this really sounds a lot like some DC clubs (except for maybe like three clubs), but mostly like Va clubs.





  14. #137
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    -When the waitress brings an ab wheel out on the floor so she can work out between serving on dead nights.
    -When girls dance barefoot, in uggs, mocassins, church heels, flats, or flip flops.
    -When customers ask what vodka we're serving, the bouncer explains that, "You know how when people die on ships they gotta put them in barrels of booze so they don't rot before they get to shore? It's that one."
    -When the bouncers put a toonie (two dollar coin) in the urinal and somebody actually picks it up and takes it...
    -When you have a velvet Elvis on the wall.
    -When you have a discussion with a customer about how you couldn't eat off the floor if you wanted to, because whatever is living in the carpet would finish the food before you could grab it.
    -When the decor can be roughly described as "opium den" , "70s basement", or "grandpa's place."
    -When the average age of the dancers is frighteningly close to the average age of the patrons.

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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    when the dollars are grimey and moist!!!

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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    No damn funny money or credit card capabilities, and the ATM is always outta money for some reason

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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When it's raining and there's so many leaks in the roof you have to be careful not to trip over all the buckets on the floor!

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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    .. When you have to dance on a wooden stage while there is a live shitty wannabe rock band playing on the stage and you can't even reach the pole because the band is taking over the whole stage, so you just kind of hover there for 3 songs

    .. When the girls kiss customers openly on the floor

    .. When you are told that anything goes, as long as you are not giving them sex

    .. When you have to bring your own CD's and the CD player is in another room and you have to press 'Play' and then run to the stage to make it by the beginning of the song

    .. When there is a brothel upstairs and prostitutes come downstairs to the strip club and hustle your customers by the stage (seriously, WTF? lol)

    .. When the management is amazed by you hustle skills and your ability to rake in 'big cash' (that was when I made about $200 on a Friday night which was pennies compared to my usual $900-$1000 in upscale clubs)

    .. When some of your fellow dancers have a moustache
    "Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them." - Dream for an Insomniac

  21. #142
    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    hahahahahahahaha....
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When a girl overdoses on Saturday ONSTAGE and she's back at work on Monday
    When a mouse dies in the wall in the private dance room and it smells like death but no one does anything about it
    When the dressing room is also the bathroom female customers use!
    When your coworkers look like they were rounded up in a grey hound bus station and then forced to dance in clothing from other people's suitcases
    When the manager cooks food in a crock pot at home and then brings it into the club to sell
    When the radio commercials included is the dj and it is played off a boom box that has a good will price sticker on it

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  24. #144
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by VannaV View Post
    When a girl overdoses on Saturday ONSTAGE and she's back at work on Monday
    When a mouse dies in the wall in the private dance room and it smells like death but no one does anything about it
    When the dressing room is also the bathroom female customers use!
    When your coworkers look like they were rounded up in a grey hound bus station and then forced to dance in clothing from other people's suitcases
    When the manager cooks food in a crock pot at home and then brings it into the club to sell
    When the radio commercials included is the dj and it is played off a boom box that has a good will price sticker on it
    Sounds like my club!!!!!
    When a dancer receives $25 to squirt breast milk into a customers shot and they drink it.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    My first club there was a bucket right next to the stage to catch the drips where the window leaked. And you got splinters off the window ledge upstairs if you put your hands on it. And the pole in the VIP room had a wooden cube about 4 inches to the bottom of the pole, so you couldnt do any kind of inverts on it incase you dislocated a shoulder blade when you hit the floor. And the pole's werent actually pole's...they were bits of scaffolding and you got metal splinters and cuts and grazes from it. Oh and it wasnt properly attached to the ceiling so it could turn from static to spinning at any given time without warning.
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

  26. #146
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Your living room and club are roughly the same size.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
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  27. #147
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    The pole is a piece of pvc piping.
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  28. #148
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    You are not sure all your co workers were born female.
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  30. #149
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    How best to cover your track marks are a valid beauty question brought up in the dressing room and almost all the dancers have their method to share with the new junkie.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by devilkitty View Post
    The pole is a piece of pvc piping.
    OH, this one totally made me lol all over the apartment; I almost woke up my husband!





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