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Thread: You know your working in a dive if.......

  1. #151
    Senior Member bklynbombshell's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When the VIP room is separated by a cheap string of beads.
    The lack of money is the root of all evil. -Mark Twain

  2. #152
    Senior Member sexyscarlet's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    ... When there's no heat in the dressing room so you have to bring a sleeping bag and snuggies to stay warm in the winter.
    ... When the manager doesn't charge you house fee some nights because it is so slow none of the girls made tipout.
    ... When the cleaning guy goes up onto the stage while you're dancing to clean the mirrors.
    ... When girls take naps in the lap dance booths when it's slow.
    ... When there's a huge dent in the middle of the barely-spinning pole and it's a running joke among regulars.
    ... When the manager decorates the VIP rooms with Scarface paraphernalia
    Last edited by sexyscarlet; 02-25-2012 at 11:50 PM.

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  4. #153
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    The pole breaks because one of the morbidly obese dancers strains it to the breaking point. Then the bouncer runs next door (to his apt) where he grabs his tools and then proceeds to repair said pole.

    When you get stuck in the loo because there is no TP and you post it on Facebook as your status. Someone happens to check their news feed and rescues you. (don't ask) -_-
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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  6. #154
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    ^ Lol, is there anything facebook can't do?

  7. #155
    Member SouthernButterfly's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    My first club was a dive.

    The owner is a fabulous cook and always feeds the girls at the end of the night out of a crock pot of something delicious.

    The bathroom is so small it's one rooms with a toilet and sink , and when you walk in there are at least two girls smoking weed.

    There is a Mrs Pac Man machine and you're damn good on it because of the slow nights.

    Dance rooms are little one chair rooms that you're constantly hitting your head/elbow/knees on the walls.

    You've watched girls do a line of coke off the toilet seat.

    Your constantly being pegged by the owner to do the dances for the "VIP clients" because you're the pretty, skinny, classy one in a club full of fat chicks and crackwhores.

    The owner and other girls are SHOCKED when they find out you've never been arrested, in trouble, or are not into drugs.
    Last edited by SouthernButterfly; 03-04-2012 at 12:00 PM.
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    “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” - Marilyn Monroe







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  9. #156
    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    You know it's a dive if when a customer brings in his dogs, and the bartender pours the dogs drinks, too. BTW, the girls love puppies.

    When a dancer comes in 3 days after having a baby to show off the child to everyone there.

    When a dancer's father brings in her work bag, and she asks him if he remembered her new boots that he had bought for her.

    When country music is the most popular music genre.

    When drinks consist of wine in a box or cans of beer.

    When the best selling dance in the place involves putting your buddy on stage for public humiliation and a serious beating by the girls.

    When a local lottery winner brings in dom perignon and serves it in paper dixie cups. (Not kidding. That was my first taste of Dom...)

    When a customer offers to take the dancers out to a really fancy restaurant...called Red Lobster.
    These describe my first club to a T! lol, And I was the dancer who called a parental figure to bring me my bag/shoes! Although, the only reason he "bought them for me" is because I paid him cash to order them on his credit card. My immediate (and therefor important) family members are split into two groups- the ones who look the other way as long as I'm not doing anything illegal, and the ones who are proud of me for dancing. All my siblings now think it's cool, and my mom even wanted me to move to Houston with her last time she lived there SPECIFICALLY because I'm a dancer and could help her with bills.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

  10. #157
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    If you see a girl pumping milk from her breast...without a pump!





  11. #158
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    the resident crack head is pregnant and hiding in the dressing room because her ex/abusive/baby daddy has come to the club asking if she's there because she left him and didnt she mention she was moving out and he's trying to hunt her down.
    ''I love fake boobs''
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  12. #159
    Veteran Member cairalis's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    ...when the housemom/manager/security/bartender/waitress is the same lady (obviously an ex-dancer at the club)
    ...when dancers need to help waitressing when the club is busy
    ...when costumers need to ring a doorbell to get in to the club, the door is always locked
    ...when the locked door has one of these little windows you can open and look out to see who is ringing the doorbell...
    ...when mother and daughter work together at the club as "sisters"
    ...when you have to put on a CD with music yourself when doing a private dance upstairs

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  14. #160
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    when the dance "booths" are really old restaurant booths that badly need re-upholstering...

    when those same "booths" need to be held down when your customer tries to scoot forward so that he doesn't fall inside!

    when everybody uses the tanning bed in the dressing room as a bed because the bulbs don't work any longer. with a pillow and sleeping bag and everything. and its kind of like a casket because the hinge is broken..

    the corkboard for announcements has cards advertising rooms 4 rent.

    only beer they serve is PBR

    girls smoke weed freely in the bathroom.

    the dj is that dancer's baby daddy

    the stage is that icky blue linoleum tile stuff
    *Um, yea.. formerly known as "Kaluah20 and Kaluah21", Member since 2005*

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  16. #161
    Member Chiose's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When an acceptable way to get rid of drinks is pouring them on the carpeted floor when your custy isn't watching.

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  18. #162
    Senior Member sexyscarlet's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Oh, another gem I just had happen to me...

    when you trip and rip the straps out of your BRAND NEW shoes because the floor is so uneven that you accidentally stepped into a 2 inch hole in the floor.

  19. #163
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    When you go on stage and there's cigarette buds on it.. Just happened to me 10 min ago.. And of course when you're on stripperweb cause there are no customers in the club

  20. #164
    Curious Guest meme heartkissheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    the firdt place i worked was a dive no doubt somewhat embarssing when you have to pick your songs on the jukebox and run up on stage was quick as you can but i miss the atmosphere it was lkinda like cheers

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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    you can't google it

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  23. #166
    Member ShayBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    you know you work in a dive when...

    the girls are more worried about drama with each other than making money...
    there's one girl who always thinks every other girl is stealing her style....and then the DJ of all people tells you that she's mad because you like to dance to Type O Negative too and that he wants to see a 'girl fight'...
    there are only 20 dollar dances and they are upstairs behind curtains...
    the dressing room has a curtain that leads from the main floor and custies are more interested in peeping through the curtain holes than looking at the stage...
    the dressing room smells like pussy and ass...
    the DJ gives you dancing tips and thinks that the butt-cheek flexing jiggle is done by 'hitting your butt cheeks with the back of your stiletto'...
    the DJ likes to go on the stage and climb the pole in his sneakers..

  24. #167
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    -The furniture is all scratched up and torn up like cats and other animals were turned loose in the club.
    -There is mold all over the building.
    -There are water leaks in the ceiling.
    -There is no DJ.
    -The "cleaning staff" NEVER cleans.
    -Customers never stay long or spend much $.

  25. #168
    Member ShayBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    lol, worst place I worked in did have a DJ at least so guess I can't compare

  26. #169
    Member CherryRain's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    lol
    Quote Originally Posted by ShayBaby View Post
    lol, worst place I worked in did have a DJ at least so guess I can't compare

  27. #170
    Veteran Member Miss Chevious's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    You have a free buffet full of tater tots and hot dogs

    The bar replaces their high end liquor bottles with the bottom shelf brands to save money

    Th people who say "it's nice here" are inebriated beyond the point of safety

    The owner has slept with all the dancers there

    The only regulars who come in are dating the dancers OTC or their johns

    You have to perform managerial work because the turnover rate is so high for god-knows-why

  28. #171
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Chevious View Post
    You have a free buffet full of tater tots and hot dogs
    That sounds tasty!





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  30. #172
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    So last night we had a contest... called "THE MEATGRINDER." The manager counted ("One, two, etc") on the mic, from the DJ booth how many times the dancer contestant grinded on a guy in a minute. There were like 5 contestants. I wish I could block memories!

  31. #173
    Veteran Member miamia4me's Avatar
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    Default

    The club is empty on a Friday night. Oh wait one guy here and I've done two sets for a whole 8 dollars. Yay.

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  33. #174
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    Quote Originally Posted by miamia4me View Post
    The club is empty on a Friday night. Oh wait one guy here and I've done two sets for a whole 8 dollars. Yay.
    Yeah, that is a bona fide dive!





  34. #175
    Featured Member SuperJa's Avatar
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    Default Re: You know your working in a dive if.......

    "You can do a fire show here without a permit. The whole building is made of asbestos."

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