Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

  1. #1
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    323
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts

    Default Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    When I told one of my best friends about my job, she was okay with it. She was a little worried, but she was also curious, and she asked a lot of questions, which I like.

    I like answering questions that people wonder about strippers and stripclubs, and just don't know who to ask. Then I can be a mythbuster and teach them things that aren't in the movies, like, "No, I don't just walk around naked the whole time," or "Actually, I don't know any pole tricks, and most of the girls I work with don't either."

    But anyways, she asked,
    "How do you feel about being objectified? As a woman? Are you OKAY with it?"

    And it seems to be common idea that strippers are objectified, used, and exploited. Another feminist friend once (who is mostly supportive) said to me, "Take care of yourself- don't get raped or murdered anytime soon."
    ALSO, when I started this job, my boyfriend-at-the-time told me he'd prefer if I went to be a dominatrix or model instead, because then at least I wouldn't be taking up a "submissive" role.

    Objectification? But don't we objectify each other all the time? Do stripclubs have anything to do with it, or is it human nature that would happen regardless? Is it okay to be okay with being objectified sometimes?

    Plus, I told her I feel more empowered- as a woman- when I work at the club, than when I'm working some minimum wage food service job where customers treat me like shit. I told her I feel more human working as a dancer, talking to people about their lives, than I do making coffee. I get more verbal abuse and disrespect working behind a counter, and I'm not even allowed to clock them with my heels when it happens, I'm supposed to smile and thank them anyway.

    I read some older threads regarding your thoughts on feminism and Christina Ricci and objectification, of stripping vs. stripping culture.
    But I just wanted to ask yall anyway. This question sort of boggles my mind; I want to think about it from different angles, and try to put myself in other peoples' shoes, thought I would try to get some outside opinions from other dancers like yourselves.



    On feminism/feminists:


    On Christina Ricci's objectification comment:

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    370
    Thanks
    158
    Thanked 100 Times in 66 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Honestly, I think women are objectified continually in our culture anyways. Might as well have control over the objectification and make it your own. Stripping gives you the power over the sexualization of your body.

    People will not stop being sexually attracted to others, ever, but there seems to be some feminists who believe that sexualization of our bodies is wrong. They seem to have skewed ideas about gender roles, respect, sex, sexuality and how they do interact, should interact and could interact.

    I believe that some feminists wish to live in a world without sexuality in the manner that it's been for the last, well, as long as written history has been around.

    I do feel that women should have equal opportunities as men, and should be treated with the same respect as a male, but I think that men and women will never be equal in the sense of the word that a lot of feminists use it. It's difficult to explain, for me, because it goes beyond words to an abstract concept.

    The way I see it, stripping is one profession where a woman can make more money than a man, AND have undeniable power and control over a man. Seems like it favours the woman, in my opinion. Until our society changes to the point that I'm not making 63 cents to a man's dollar doing similar work...

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Lexi_Girl For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    As someone who's worked in both the adult industry and the corporate world, there is more objectifying towards women in the corporate world. As a stripper, sure many managers take advantage of the dancers. Guess what? in the corporate world stereotypes exist just as bad. I've been paid less than guys for doing the same thing, I've had comments that I'm taking away jobs from guys. I've had male coworkers mention how their wives are "good wives" because they stay at home, etc. Also, it's known that many employers do hire the most attractive women for jobs. It's harder for older and heavier women to get jobs than it is for younger, thinner. It often sucks for women in the corporate world because many men (and sadly some women) think a woman is worthless.

  5. #4
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    AZ
    Posts
    65
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Everyone objectifies everyone else. I objectify the men I dance for every night. I try my best to figure out what 'fantasy' they want and provide it for the maximum amount of money I can get. I also think when I attend PTA meetings the women there objectify each other in the working-outside-the-home vs stay-at-home. Each woman there wants others to value the decision she made.

    As human beings I think we like our own kind and tend to look down on outsiders. Most of the time its because we want to feel we are right and they are wrong. So,for me, the objectification question is asked by someone who is looking down on dancing either from a religious/moral/status quo position or someone who feels not so sexy or otherwise threatened by my sexuality being 'flaunted'. Its just another subtle put down.

  6. #5
    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Denver & San Fran
    Posts
    6,907
    Thanks
    181
    Thanked 2,002 Times in 1,285 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    I'm with Lexi, people will be objectified regardless of what field they are in, and sexual attraction will always exist. I've worked in the corporate world plenty and I actually feel more objectified & put down there than when I am dancing. I don't think women should have to dress down to be treated as equals. I don't think that paying different wages to men & women is fair. I don't think that you should have to change my job title just to be politically correct either though. If I wanted to be objectified I would go play secretary to some person with old views. As it is I like knowing that I control how I am objectified and that I have control over it being an equal and agreeable relationship for all parties involved.

    Here's a fun little story for you. I worked a job for many years in the corporate world and left. One of my best friends applied for my job and was turned down without reason. Later I heard my boss tell someone else that it was because she was in her "baby making years". Uhm, so all he thought of her as was a person potentially capable of getting pregnant and having kids? WTF?! No thanks - from now on I'll pass on corporate!
    Don't you ever sleep?
    Not at night...that's when the stars have rather better things to do. They're coming out, shining, that sort of thing.
    - Blog -
    My PM box fills up quick. If you have a question please with your username.
    Congrats to Pryce on doing some much needed tending in his garden!
    - -


  7. #6
    Senior Member Miaowren's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    167
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    *sigh* ...just tell them all to go fuck themselves.

    Seriously, do not get me started on how I feel about having the self-sabotaging tyrannical oppression of the patriarchy thrust upon me from birth and drummed into every nook and cranny of my psyche. (To this day I am still finding weird bits of shit in amongst these really bizarre ideals I didn't even know I had!!)

    God, the almighty fucking penis! Ugh!! Give me a break!

    You know how it makes me feel? It makes me feel pity. I do not see men as powerful. I am never afraid of them. The most 'prized' members of our species are defenceless against the whims of their dicks. A fucking DICK is calling all the shots.
    So if anything I feel it's embarrassing! Tits are the most powerful force on the face of our planet. Wtf? I mean they're great and all.. but come on.


    And with that in mind, Hun, I need to ask you? Do you honestly give two fucks what opinion a penis may or may not hold about ANYTHING.
    Let alone something that is as valuable as how a woman chooses to perceive herself?

    So yeah - anyone who tries to make you think that the opinions of a penis carry any sort of weight really just needs to go fuck themselves and get a clue.

    (BTW - I'm not a femi-nazi, I don't hate men. I just like to generalize a lot :-) )
    They can all go fuck themselves though.. I really can't stress that part enough.

  8. #7
    Senior Member Miaowren's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    167
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Oh and heads up - none of those people are on your side. The difference is very slight, so slight that they may not even realize they actually aren't on your side, but when you speak to someone who is actually happily supportive of you... I don't know.. you just walk away from the conversation feeling a little differently to what you've posted here

    To be honest the first time it happened to me I walked away thinking "Well... that was slightly..weird?"

    - Until I realized it was just because I'd instinctively braced for all the usual sorts of BS and she had been nothing but genuinely happy and excited for me. I didn't have to defend myself or try to sell her the idea that I was ok. She could tell I was ok.
    (Oh and she wasn't a dancer or anything either! Which is special. Just a really cool chick...?)

    Anyway, you seem like you're on the right track Just be aware that at a low point 'friends' can feel worse than the biggest cunt you have ever encountered. I don't even think it's all that intentional... it always just seems like they really do believe that penises have credibility at all?? (And if that wasn't enough, but that they are the final authority on how all people should live their lives).

    <- really just kind of sums it all up.

  9. #8
    Member
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    East Coast
    Posts
    40
    Thanks
    21
    Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Pretty much everything everyone has stated sums up my stance on the matter, and I'm not even a dancer yet. I mean, come on now...If the dancer is the one telling Dick how much he has to pay for her attention and can have him thrown out for disrespecting her or overstepping his boundaries (while still getting paid), how is the woman being objectified?

    It's her ass and titties that she's CHOSEN to shake, on her own terms, and irrespective of the sexist view that utilizing her sexuality is somehow immoral/not lady like.

    To me, this whole "but your being objectified" mantra from other women is just another example of how successful our patriarchal society is. The one thing that men cannot come even remotely close to us on (the ability to utilize our sexuality and/or seduce others, male or female, to get what we want), is the one thing we are crucified for the most. F*ck that B.S.

  10. #9
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    119
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    I always get asked this question, and I think it comes from a weird non-sex positive, old-school-feminist stance. I remember one of my friends working as a temp receptionist - her temp agency would only place females in these jobs. Men were not appropriate front desk people. Is that objectification of a different kind? It is, isn't it? But it doesn't get marked as that in the same way stripping does. Also, I think it's tricky when people start conflating being objectified with being exploited. They're not the same thing always. And if we start talking about exploitation, well that's a whole other conversation, one I feel guilty having in front of my Nike sneakers and Gap sweaters and Victorias Secret bras...

  11. #10
    Featured Member babybambi08's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    in ur dreams
    Posts
    958
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked 36 Times in 32 Posts

    Thumbs up Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi_Girl View Post
    Honestly, I think women are objectified continually in our culture anyways. Might as well have control over the objectification and make it your own. Stripping gives you the power over the sexualization of your body.

    People will not stop being sexually attracted to others, ever, but there seems to be some feminists who believe that sexualization of our bodies is wrong. They seem to have skewed ideas about gender roles, respect, sex, sexuality and how they do interact, should interact and could interact.

    I believe that some feminists wish to live in a world without sexuality in the manner that it's been for the last, well, as long as written history has been around.

    I do feel that women should have equal opportunities as men, and should be treated with the same respect as a male, but I think that men and women will never be equal in the sense of the word that a lot of feminists use it. It's difficult to explain, for me, because it goes beyond words to an abstract concept.

    The way I see it, stripping is one profession where a woman can make more money than a man, AND have undeniable power and control over a man. Seems like it favours the woman, in my opinion. Until our society changes to the point that I'm not making 63 cents to a man's dollar doing similar work...
    I was going to say the same thing...


  12. #11
    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The dirty south
    Posts
    1,381
    Thanks
    1,942
    Thanked 1,993 Times in 605 Posts
    Blog Entries
    17
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    I'm posting a link to an interview where feminist writer/activist/former sex worker Sarah Katherine Lewis sorts this out way better that I could:

    http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature...rine-lewis/P0/

    I especially liked this part, in which she draws an analogy between sex workers and other blue collar workers:


    "[D]angerous labor is dangerous labor, whether you’re cleaning the fry-o-later for minimum wage and burning yourself and then not having the money to take some time off to heal, or being exposed to disease—it’s all the same ball of wax. It’s about using up people’s bodies that are viewed as expendable. Unfortunately, women as a group seem to be in the category of expendable, unless you’re working your way through college, and therefore demonstrably middle to upper class. Blue collar women’s bodies are like migrant workers’ bodies… you just use them up, throw them away, and get new ones. "
    I don't have a problem with being "objectified." To me, that's an occupational hazard with ANY job I take. Like, when I was working as a body piercer, I didn't feel the need to tell people, "I DO MORE THAN JUST PUNCH HOLES IN PEOPLE!" Nor do I feel the need, now, to yell, "I DO MORE THAN TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF!" The nature of any job is to foreground certain traits/skills, while backgrounding others. It just so happens that the traits we foreground with stripping are culturally volatile ones.

    The problem I do have with stripping, though, is the one Lewis outlines--that are bodies are expendable. We don't have a safe working environment (most of the time), we wear shoes that harm our feet and backs, we subject ourselves to long night hours and secondhand smoke, etc. If this profession was not so stigmatized, we would have better conditions for ourselves.

  13. #12
    Member Cat2008's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    52
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Everyone objectifying other sex (women do it too) but in SC you can use it to your own advantage. Therefore I don't see it as a bad thing.
    Exploitation is another issue and have nothing to do with SC

  14. #13
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale
    Posts
    3,337
    Thanks
    4,235
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 1,451 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    Quote Originally Posted by GI Barbie View Post

    As human beings I think we like our own kind and tend to look down on outsiders. Most of the time its because we want to feel we are right and they are wrong.
    .
    Well I don't think it's so much a matter of liking our own kind but fear of things/ people that are different. That's where we get lovely thigs lke anti-semitism, racism, sexism, ageism and the like.

    I don't see strippers as being objectified unless they are being heckled, grabbed against their will or they are doing extras (when they really don't want to) because they feel like they need to.

    So sure it does exists in the industry, although it is not the norm and these types of behaviors are USUALLY stopped at most places.

    But I agree with what the other girls have said that it is our society as a whole that does it, not the SC
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

  15. #14
    God/dess britneyireland's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    2,568
    Thanks
    283
    Thanked 602 Times in 340 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Inspired

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    One of the greatest quotes I ever saw, and it was originally from Glamazon:

    "The only thing a woman hates more than being viewed as a sexual object....is NOT being viewed as a sexual object"
    Rebecca Avalon







  16. #15
    Senior Member Izzy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Question: "How do you feel about being objectified as a woman?"

    In terms of the idea of objectification RE: subject/object relationships, which is really what objectification means in the academic discourse which most people are referring to when asking this question (without necessarily realizing, and especially not understanding, it) - yes, we are all, always objectifying one another in the sense that we, as individuals mostly always experience ourselves subjectively (in the subject position) and therefore, by a process of relational understanding must experience others in the object position. This of course doesn't mean that we shouldn't validate other's subjectivity, certainly we should, and the world would be a better place if that happened more often. But, a certain amount of objectification of others is just a part of how we understand ourselves as selves.

    Moving on to the idea of objectification as in constructing someone as, or reducing them to, a sexual object, or being appreciated for only your sexuality. This is what I say in response to that: In very few areas of our lives are we acknowledged for the whole of who we are. In school my value lies solely in my intellect. If I were a parent I would be valued based on another set of skills. When I'm with friends, family or a partner, different aspects of myself will be the focus. My sexuality is just as much a part of me as anything else, and so no, I don't mind being valued based solely on that part of me in one area of my life. I don't expect to find balance in just one area of my life, I have balance in my life as a whole.

    Now, arguments could be made against exactly how female sexuality is portrayed in strip clubs, that it is homogenized and hyperfeminized, but that is another discussion entirely. Besides which, as any stripper knows, there is more diversity in terms of sexual interest among dancers and customers, than it might seem to an outsider.

    In any case, point being: do I feel like I'm being objectified? Of course. Does it bother me? Not at all.


    there's beauty in the breakdown





Similar Threads

  1. Woman asaults girlfriend with "female sex toy"
    By tempest666 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-17-2011, 10:01 AM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-15-2011, 07:24 AM
  3. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-25-2008, 12:45 AM
  4. I don't feel "pretty", "desired" anymore
    By greenidlady1 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-23-2007, 10:07 PM
  5. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-18-2005, 09:38 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •