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Thread: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

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    Default Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    So the other thread in custie convo mutated into a few people going back and forth about dating dancers. What follows is a statement I made in one of the last posts, that I thought (and I hope others agree) summed things up nicely and would make for a good seperate discussion specifically about the stigma that dancers tolerate when it comes to dating - since this rears it;s head here a LOT. That said...

    Why the insistence that dancers are any different than any other women? Do guys not see how patently narrow, shallow, close-minded, and just plain rude that is - not to mention WRONG?!

    The ongoing implication is that there is something wrong with the girl who chooses to be a dancer when the real problem is with the guy who can't get over the stigma of a girl who chooses to be a dancer. That's it, that's all; as Dennis Leary says "end of fucking list".

    Women in ANY OTHER JOB will have the same hangups. You'll find the shallow money-grubbing ones, the gold diggers. You'll find the insecure whack jobs and the totally together grounded types. You'll find addicts and to use the short terminology, whores - and you'll find refined ladies. You'll find pretty girls and not so pretty ones. Ones with work done and ones that are all natural. You'll find geniuses and mouth breathers. Total bitches and amazing sweethearts. In short, get a random group of strippers together and a random group of girls from any other job description, and you'll get the same ranges. The dancer group will probably have a higher average as far as looks go, and for the most part will be more secure with themselves and more outgoing. Basically, in my experience dancers have a higher average as far as finding a secure, good looking girl goes, and everything else levels out about the same percentage-wise.

    They work in a sex industry. You will find that this results in averaging things back out, really - girls who would be more open are actually more guarded because of the assholes they deal with at work. Some who might be more timid were they elsewhere ecome more confident about their bodies and about sex in general. And ya - more of them tur bi or lesbian percentage wise, because they're around hot girls all the time and let's face it - girls look better naked than guys, no matter who's looking, LMAO. As a whole, I find that dancers are more open minded and have fewer hangups in the sack, and more of them are bisexual, but really in the bedroom a dancer isn't going to be night and day from a woman in another profession, nor any more likely - stigma again - to be "easy".

    So I ask instead of state: Where does the problem lie? With the strippers? Or with the men who have hangups and issues that prevent them from considering dating a girl because of her profession, and as a result stigmatize these women in our society?

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    Why the insistence that dancers are any different than any other women? Do guys not see how patently narrow, shallow, close-minded, and just plain rude that is - not to mention WRONG?!
    I personally can't insistent that dancers are any different than any other women because... well... I'm not a dancer.

    But, I think you're differentiating dancers here.

    The dancer group will probably have a higher average as far as looks go, and for the most part will be more secure with themselves and more outgoing. Basically, in my experience dancers have a higher average as far as finding a secure, good looking girl goes, and everything else levels out about the same percentage-wise.
    So, what are you trying to say? They are not different, but they are?

    They're different, I think, because they are more open and secure with their sexuality over the average woman. That's why they can dance, be naked, and make good money. Otherwise, wouldn't every women do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    The ongoing implication is that there is something wrong with the girl who chooses to be a dancer when the real problem is with the guy who can't get over the stigma of a girl who chooses to be a dancer. That's it, that's all; as Dennis Leary says "end of fucking list".
    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    So I ask instead of state: Where does the problem lie? With the strippers? Or with the men who have hangups and issues that prevent them from considering dating a girl because of her profession, and as a result stigmatize these women in our society?
    I think you answered your own question:
    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    They work in a sex industry.
    There's a stigma around the sex industry. Whether we like it or not - there is! And how about the customers? Do you think the majority of people look at me positively because of my occasional SC visit? Hell no. That's why I keep it quiet most of the time, just because I don't feel like dealing with it. Sure, bachelor party visits are ok... but outside of that? nope. At least not in my world. I'd be a f'ing PL. Which is unfortunate, because I love women.

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    girls look better naked than guys
    the understatement of the century





    ... and just one other brief additional note: don't group all us custies together because of the insensitivity or misogyny of the few outspoken ones here. Not saying you are in particular, but just wanted to finish with that. Thanks

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    forgot to add: On the whole, your posts in the previous thread were refreshing

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Strippers = soft, smell good, feel nice, make my cock hard.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    ^^ lol

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    The difference between dating a dancer and a girl from any other career is that for most people "only i get to see you naked" is one of the most basic rules of being in a relationship. Note i said "most", not "all", and that this in no way implies that there is anything wrong with being a stripper. Not being willing to ignore that part of being in a relationship doesn't make someone "narrow, shallow, close-minded, and just plain rude", it just makes those two people incompatible. I won't date a smoker or a vegetarian because my house not stinking and my meals being tasty and delicious are simply not the kinds of things i'm willing to compromise over, for some people the "only i get to see you naked" thing is something they aren't willing to compromise over so it becomes a problem. I assume i'll get flamed for this but let me point out that i have no problems dating strippers, i've dated a former stripper and we are still good friends to this day, i just feel its not fair to judge others just because they have issues they aren't willing to compromise on.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    ... Why the insistence that dancers are any different than any other women? Do guys not see how patently narrow, shallow, close-minded, and just plain rude that is - not to mention WRONG?!

    ... The dancer group will probably have a higher average as far as looks go, and for the most part will be more secure with themselves and more outgoing. Basically, in my experience dancers have a higher average as far as finding a secure, good looking girl goes, and everything else levels out about the same percentage-wise.

    .... Some who might be more timid were they elsewhere ecome more confident about their bodies and about sex in general. And ya - more of them tur bi or lesbian percentage wise, ... As a whole, I find that dancers are more open minded and have fewer hangups in the sack, and more of them are bisexual, ...

    Okay. Dancers are no different than any other group of women, except for all the ways in which they are different. Got it! ... Wait, what?

    LOL.

    Just playin around, but then again I wasn't one of those who had issues with topic in the first place. It really isn't a determining factor one way or another, which is why I didn't respond in the other thread.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    What follows is a statement I made in one of the last posts, that I thought (and I hope others agree) summed things up nicely and would make for a good seperate discussion specifically about the stigma that dancers tolerate when it comes to dating - since this rears it;s head here a LOT.
    I try to get out and you keep pulling me back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    The difference between dating a dancer and a girl from any other career is that for most people "only i get to see you naked" is one of the most basic rules of being in a relationship.
    I go to a clothing optional beach and see thousands of women nude no big deal.

    It has been said by many dancers that the job now involves way more then just looking.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    I in no way intended to imply that all "custies" are the same, lol. Thus I was looking for discussion, and not merely ranting (although i came pretty close, lol).

    To say that I state all women are different and then contradicted myself is not true; the two statements were in different context. On a one-to-one basis, there is no difference between a dancer and another woman with her same attributes and attitudes; they just have different jobs, one of which involves undressing for money and one which (for the sake of this discussion) does not. Conversation in other threads and between various people in person indicates that the job alone changes the attitude of a man who shows interest in either of these otherwise identical women.

    Comparing the groupings in another paragraph, yes - as a group, dancers are likely to have a few differences when the averages come down. As a group, a higher percentage will be "good looking", a higher percentage will have the other traits mentioned.

    I hear from so many dancers nightmare stories or just not good stories about issues with SO's. Threads here frequently get into discussions about how to date a dancer, or if you could, or if you would, etc. So i want a discussion where these topics aren't seperate and aren't tangential, a thread specifically about teh stigmas and attitiudes surrounding the girls who choose this profession as it applies to relationships.

    All viewpoints welcome, without different ones there's no discussion, lol. I'm hoping for lively debate and discussion.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    You keep trying to get out and I keep drawing YOU back?! LMAO - I never outright accused you of being a fake personality, and your comments were what threw the other thread off track.

    Whether or not you specifically reply here is irrelevant, though I do hope to gain further insight to your sometimes convoluted (from my "dancer centric" vantage point) logic and opinions. Again, this topic gets bandied about in different forms in different threads, so let's just hash it out here.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    The difference between dating a dancer and a girl from any other career is that for most people "only i get to see you naked" is one of the most basic rules of being in a relationship. Note i said "most", not "all", and that this in no way implies that there is anything wrong with being a stripper. Not being willing to ignore that part of being in a relationship doesn't make someone "narrow, shallow, close-minded, and just plain rude", it just makes those two people incompatible. I won't date a smoker or a vegetarian because my house not stinking and my meals being tasty and delicious are simply not the kinds of things i'm willing to compromise over, for some people the "only i get to see you naked" thing is something they aren't willing to compromise over so it becomes a problem. I assume i'll get flamed for this but let me point out that i have no problems dating strippers, i've dated a former stripper and we are still good friends to this day, i just feel its not fair to judge others just because they have issues they aren't willing to compromise on.
    I missed this earlier, but just wanted to ask...Why would dating a vegetarian affect your meals?

    In defense of vegetarians, most of us have no inclination to change other peoples eating habits. If you are worried about her not cooking for you, well, I can't speak for all other vegs, but I have prepared meals, nearly all containing meat, nightly for the last 9 years or so for the soon to be ex. Eating out isn't a problem either, I have yet to find a restaurant that doesn't have a veg friendly option. Steakhouses, we can order a salad and a few sides, burger places nearly all have a veggie-burger, etc.

    I get the smoking issue, but what the hell is wrong with vegetarians? We are healthier and tend to age better. That's gotta be a positive, right?

    /End Threadjack
    Last edited by princessjas; 06-14-2009 at 07:27 PM.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    I was really debating whether I should say anything but here goes nothing.

    I don't think you can say that all dancers are the same as other women. Sure, some of them are, definitely! But there are some who do portray the stereotype, there are some that are gold diggers, there are some that are drug addicts. Yeah, I also think that you could find druggies and gold diggers in nearly any profession, but personally, dancing has changed me.

    For the first six years, I was totally cool with it. But now, especially living in Las Vegas, I feel like I am very different from civilian women. I don't dress up when I go out in public because honestly, not to sound stuck up, my appearance draws attention. I don't meet eyes with men in grocery stores because they always say something to me. I love dressing up to go out and have a good time, but then some asshat will ruin it like the other night- Pointing at my friend and licking his lips and going "Mmm..party favors." I ripped him a new asshole right there in the casino. Guy tells me I'm beautiful? I tell him to fuck off. When in a night club I can't shut the dancer persona off; I scan the crowd to see who will buy my friends and I drinks.

    I have also developed reflexes I never had before. The first time my SO went to put his hand under my dress when we were making out, I grabbed his wrist. First couple of times he touched my ass in public I whirled around ready to bite someone's head off. It took me awhile to get used to him. Luckily, he is a saint and was very patient and understanding.

    I also wonder when I go out with people the first time and they know about my job. I always wonder if they really like me or just think it's cool to bang a stripper. Like they want bragging rights to say they went out with me. It has made me a very suspicious person.

    That being said, once I trust a guy, I'll do anything for him.

    I suppose it is also difficult for me because all my dancer friends call me my stage name outside the club. Even my room mate does because she is a cocktail waitress at my work. I feel like I spend more time being Her than being Me.

    I know this was long, but I do truly believe there are other girls who feel like I do. And those girls, like me, are different from civilian women.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    In my humble opinion, it is the Las Vegas which got to you not the dancing. That city gets to people after a while especially if you are into night life or your job involves dealing with the night life.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    In my humble opinion, it is the Las Vegas which got to you not the dancing. That city gets to people after a while especially if you are into night life or your job involves dealing with the night life.
    I love Las Vegas a whole. The main thing for me is the dancing style is different than what I am used to, and it's a lot of babying. Totally different hustle, drains me to pieces. But those things were developing far before 14 months ago. I actually moved here because I love a fast paced existance.

    And I actually work day shift.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I love Las Vegas a whole. The main thing for me is the dancing style is different than what I am used to, and it's a lot of babying. Totally different hustle, drains me to pieces. But those things were developing far before 14 months ago. I actually moved here because I love a fast paced existance.

    And I actually work day shift.
    I am glad you like that city. I found Vegas to be very depressing. But may be it was something else not the Vegas.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    I missed this earlier, but just wanted to ask...Why would dating a vegetarian affect your meals?

    In defense of vegetarians, most of us have no inclination to change other peoples eating habits. If you are worried about her not cooking for you, well, I can't speak for all other vegs, but I have prepared meals, nearly all containing meat, nightly for the last 9 years or so for the soon to be ex. Eating out isn't a problem either, I have yet to find a restaurant that doesn't have a veg friendly option. Steakhouses, we can order a salad and a few sides, burger places nearly all have a veggie-burger, etc.

    I get the smoking issue, but what the hell is wrong with vegetarians? We are healthier and tend to age better. That's gotta be a positive, right?

    /End Threadjack
    Well mostly i was speaking out of personal experience. I don't expect the female to do all the cooking or anything like that but its just hard to enjoy your meals when the other person is looking at you with disgust and constantly making comments about what you are eating. I didn't mean to imply that ALL vegetarians are jerks about it, i've just had some bad experiences with them thats all. I'm glad to hear theres some out there like you with an open mind about the whole thing, and yes aging better is always a plus .

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    We arent quite like civilian women, at least i dont feel like one. Mediocrity's post summed up a lot of my sentiments. Here is my two cents:

    Very few other women are in a position where they are worshipped and placed on a pedestal by some and scorned and disdained by others. People have very polarized views on us.

    We see a different side to people than most people see. The civilians see the cute old man who goes to a resturaunt and is polite to all of the staff. Then after eating this same grandfatherly figure comes in to the SC and tries to sneakily move his hand to our nether regions. Civilians see the couple walking down the street holding hands in glorious matrimony. We see the same husband come in to work and ask if he can get a beej for an additional 50$.

    We are also what a lot of women fear. A lot of girls do not like their men looking at other women. Our occupation allows them to look at naked women in a location where its ok to stare. These women would be even more jealous to see a much more attractive younger woman placing her naked breasts in her 'soulmate's' face.

    And of course on top of it all, we have a pricetag on our time and our sexuality. And its a well defined price tag, as opposed to the high maintence women who will only put out when they recieve a steady supply of gifts. We also know how to talk men into paying hundreds of dollars for us to talk to and tease them without having sex with them.

    So yea.... dancing gives us sort of a complex. Ive changed since ive started dancing, and my personality is pretty resilient. I dont think its been a change for the worse, but i definitely have an altered perspective on the world.

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    Default Re: Stripper: turn on or tuen off thread jack: Dating dancers discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Well mostly i was speaking out of personal experience. I don't expect the female to do all the cooking or anything like that but its just hard to enjoy your meals when the other person is looking at you with disgust and constantly making comments about what you are eating. I didn't mean to imply that ALL vegetarians are jerks about it, i've just had some bad experiences with them thats all. I'm glad to hear theres some out there like you with an open mind about the whole thing, and yes aging better is always a plus .
    Bwahahaha! The hubby always did that to me. He'd comment constantly on how nasty my food was. Roasted veggies and whole grain breads apparently gross out some carnivores. Strange, since the only time I ever commented on his meaty stuff being gross was when he tried to force me to try meatloaf. I made it and was glad he enjoyed it, but ICK, I don't wanna eat it. hahaha

    Oh, and btw, you probably would do well to avoid the veggies who are really into animal rights protesting and things of that ilk, if you wanna avoid comments. Those are the ones ime that tend to be preachy. I've been a veg forever but still get it from a few of my friends for not being vegan.

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