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Thread: dating someone at the club?

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default dating someone at the club?

    I started dancing at my club about a week ago...

    It was slow one night and I started talking to a guy who came in and was sitting in the area reserved for employees/friends of employees/very loyal customers. He told me he was a close friend of the owner (I havent met him.. he owns a couple clubs) and came in occasionally (which the dj, waitress and the other girls working confirmed).

    It was a pretty slow night so I talked to him for a while. He was really nice and cute and asked me out on a date. Is this a bad situation to get into or is going out with a friend of the owner not a big deal? It may go nowhere but I dont want to get into into anything that's going to be complicated and cause me problems and possibly my job...

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    Don't do it. I've known so many who dated managers and friends of theirs and it never turned out good. One girl was fired after she split up, others were branded awful names (which spread to customers). I always tell anyone never to date anyone you meet at a club. Also, you have no way of knowing he's who he said he was. He could be lying and not know the owner. He could be a rapist, or even a murderer. You just don't know.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    I've seen so many strip club relationships go bad. If you do go out with him and it does not work out, be prepared to find another club. Also be prepared for the backlash from the other girls, whether it works out of not.

    On the other hand.........

    I dated a DJ at one club.....and we've been together for over 10 years, married for nine. So sometimes it does work out, but it is rare.

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    I'm another one that will tell you don't do it. The general rule is never date anyone you meet at a club, it almost always leads to trouble and there's a lot of dancers on here that could tell you personal stories about that.
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    It's generally a bad idea to start dating anyone you have a professional relationship with, and that goes for a strip club, too. A lot of guys use the "I know the owner" line at my club, too. And it sends off red flags for me, because usually they're either lying or really, really exaggerating their relationship with the owner, and they usually try to use it as an excuse to get grabby during the dances. But it's probably worse if he really is a friend of the owner, because the post-relationship backlash will be really, really bad. Plus, a lot of girls who start dating the owner's crowd get to be known as whores, in the literal sense. And I know a few girls who went on one date with a friend of the owner, and the "whore" thing was exactly what he expected, too--he showed up at their meeting place with a couple hundred in an envelope.

    So, probably not a good idea.

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    I dated a friend of the owner of a club I worked at, and I was fine. We went out for a few months, and then just decided to be friends, which we still are. That was a year ago, and now he's in a serious relationship with another dancer and I'm happy for him. He was a really nice guy. I will say though that he never bragged about being friends with the owner, I mean it was kind of obvious that he was but he wasn't one of those guys using it as a line. I would definitely be wary of that! Then again, the actual owner of this club was a 26 year old guy, so he wasn't some older perv or anything.
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    Juicy!!

    I already have a crush on one of security guards, a fine European specimen I enjoy talking to who always gives me tips and walks me to a cab after work. I kind of get the feel one of the DJs likes me, and oh why did he have to be the cutest one.... but I know I must stay in control and keep things at a distance for as long as I intend to work there. Same with a customer who really does know the management... He liked my company so much that he has returned to spend more money and has invited me on a trip, but I am not going to compromise the well-earned good reputation I have with the club while I still need to be there.

    In general, I would say that if you feel you absolutely must proceed, then proceed with great caution...

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    While it does on rare occasion work out for some people...I wouldn't do it when you're this new to dancing. It's a VERY tricky situation to handle. Not something I would recommend exploring when you're this new to the dancing world. With a little more experience you'll be able to better judge situations like this.

    I dated one guy who was sorta a friend of the owner. It did NOT turn out well and I very much regret it.
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    well i learned my lesson from this. the guy turned out to be a COMPLETE creep and it did not go well. turns out "friends with the owner" is a term to be applied loosely.

    i told one of the bouncers what happened and i dont think he'll be coming back into the club anytime soon. thank god, because the thought of dancing naked in front of him makes me want to vomit.

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    Hmm, when I was a noob I dated this guy that was soooooo hot that I met at Gold Rush. As I was very young and naive when I met him I believed all of his bullshit, inc. that he was divorced.Then he wore his wedding ring to dinner. So I'd tread lightly but wouldn't go as far as to say never, ever, ever do it. But probably only a 2% chance of it working out.
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    People prey on dancers... Especially new ones.. Be careful. I say stay away...

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    I dated a guy at the club, I have friends who have dated guys from the club...in the long term it never turned out well.

    1 friend in particular, Sherry, is now married to a guy she met from a club...they have so many problems, including her returning to dancing (she quit for him).

    Any new girls new to dancing...don't do it until you have some experience with the types of guys who come into a club. Even then, I wouldn't.
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    Veteran Member Sinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    This guy is going to try anything he can to stroke his ego by knowing that he is dating a stripper.
    Ive seen it happen in the club. clean cut guy comes in, persuades girl to date him OTC [outside of the Club] then she ends up broke, because all of her time and attention is spent on him at the club, and then fights with him when she discovers that he is a cheater and is married and comes to the club to get away from his wife. lol. some guys make it a lifelong challenge to target stripclub women, like its some kind of game. not only that 99.9% of the time when they do talk you into going out with them and things seem to get serious, they will want you to quit your job because of jealousy.

    Its ridiculous. dont fall for it!! Take him to the VIP, get his money and then dump him.


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    Senior Member shinysugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    very rarely dating people at the club ive seen work out and most of the time it turns into this big ordeal and effect a good portion of the people you work with. i.e. he was a regular for "bubbles" and now that your dating him he wont give her money so your messing with that. so "bubbles" does anything to keep you from making money, and because shes worked there for a long while the other girls turn on you too because you messed with "bubbles." most of the time they've already dated another dancer or half of them so the whole craziness of the ex is out for revenge comes to bite you in the ass. i've seen it. and the whole i know the owner thing... ha! they ALL know the owner. its trickery!!! but you live you learn right?

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    Default Re: dating someone at the club?

    hmmm so he doesn't give you any money, you chat to him for free then he gets his 'take-away'! nice!

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