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Thread: no confidence around certain customers

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    Senior Member blueyedmiss18's Avatar
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    Default no confidence around certain customers

    im working in a small club where mostly older men come in... i have no problem with my confidence level or hustle whatsoever untill a group of guys around my age come into the club its lie my confidence immediatly drops im almost intimidated i dont know what my issue is....

    the club im working at is closing in about 20 days and if i switch clubs it will definitly be majority younger crowd any ideas to get over this issue

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    Featured Member Jezzebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    Oh I had that once. When I was about 28/29, having a bad night anyway, sat down with about 6 or 7 19 to 20 yr olds. Who basically ignored my words. So was just about to leave when another very young dancer sat with us and they were all over her.

    I felt about 50. Threw my confidence with young lads for a while. Till I decided to treat them like lil` boys, call them lil` boys, talk down to them and patronise them (just a lil` bit) and that seemed to work well for me. I think they need us to be bossier, they can be sarcastic teasers anyway, so you gotta get in first and impress them.

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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    i have this problem also. i think it stems from the fact that outside the club i feel very unnatractive and have always felt that sterotypically cute guys wouldnt be caught dead dating me. i am a tomboy so all my friends are male but they tend to be not intimidating ex. nerds, overweight guys, guys with low self esteem, etc. so when im at work and i see a guy that would be unobtainable for me in real life i feel uncomfortable or intimidated. by this point im able to psych myself up to at least saying hello and then if they are nice take it from there. i figure i never know if even though they look like that they might secretly be insecure as well.

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    I know what you mean, but I force myself to talk to everyone and usually have things pretty scripted out. The worse they can say is no and try to through you some insult... and a good portion of people have been insulted in their lifetime so even that is not a big deal.
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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    I hate young guys in groups, the loners I can take.
    xoxo

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    Ladies please don't get down on yourselves about certain guys.

    Call them on their shit or ignore them. There is a knack to dealing with this situation so it's not to be taken personally.




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    Senior Member blueyedmiss18's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    its more of me not knowing how to act or not hustling as hard as i should... ive only been dancing for 3 months so when younger guys are in there its like i dont even want to do some of the pole tricks im still not fully comfortable with in fear of busting my ass and dont even want to go up to them to push dances...but i know its stupid because the worst they can say is no


    maybe ill set a goal for myself tonight ask every single customer i come in contact with no matter who it is for a dance law of average right the more u ask the more will dance?!?

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    Senior Member Jaden_GD's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    You have to force yourself to talk to them in order to feel more confident about it. The more you do it, the more you will figure out just what to say to them. Keep it short and simple.

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    ^agreed. It gets easier the more you do it.

    I have a hard time going after guys by age because if they're attractive I feel like they're out of my league. But this sometimes works to your advantage... if you can get the vibe across "you're really cute and I'm nervous to talk to you" it can get you dances. A guy came in last weekend who I was scared to talk to but went up to anyway... he was hesitating on the dance and I shyly told him how cute he was and he ended up buying a few.

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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    i find that younger guys can't afford more than one dance anyways. they are my last resort.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    i find that younger guys can't afford more than one dance anyways. they are my last resort.
    Me too. Plus, I get REAL tired of being called an "older woman" once they find out my age. Even if it's supposed to be a compliment like "I think older women are hot". It's like, dude, I'm fucking 30.

    One time a real young guy who seemed totally in lust with me said "oh my god! you were old enough to see the matrix in the theater?! I'm so jealous!" and "You actually got to appreciate the 90s!, I was born in 91 so I don't remember much of it"

    I made this face and I've been traumatized since. lol

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: no confidence around certain customers

    I don't have this problem. Probably because the club I work at is 18+, and we have a TON of army guys who come in, mostly younger. I am very used to working this type of crowd.

    Part of it is knowing the type of guy. Are they nerdy or are the cuter? Shy or outgoing? This will very your approach. If they are cute and outgoing, they are very used to girls falling all over them. You have to feel 'em out-do they want to tease them back and banter with them, or do they want the shy "omg you are so hot can I dance for you?" type?

    The shy and nerdy guys want attention normally. If I can compliment them on something or find common ground and chat 'em up, 80% of the time I will get a CR with them. They are more willing to spend $$ in my experience.

    Don't let them intimidate you. This is YOUR territory and turf, not theirs. Remember that.
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