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Thread: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

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    Default touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    i am taking a break from the club i work at that allows touching (requires it), because i took the job not knowing that part and was totally unprepared for it. i finally talked to one of the nice managers about it and he said he understood and said it didn't used to be a touching club but then things changed, etc. he said i could come back anytime i want to.
    i don't want to go back until i have some skills with setting
    boundaries with the customers regarding the touching. how do you even
    tell the customers what is allowed and what isn't?? if its a touching club,
    does that mean they are allowed to touch your breasts automatically? they
    seemed to expect it at this club, it seemed "full contact" was expected, just not the g-string area. i'd prefer that they definitely not kiss me anywhere. (keep them far enough away that they can't bite me - i'm scared of that.)
    in many ways it seems safer than the other clubs
    that don't "allow" touching, because the security is greater, so i think this
    club is probably my best bet in this area if i want to keep dancing.
    do you have any practical tips on what to say to a customer
    when we go to the back room, just what to start out with - do i say these are the "rules" or what?? i want to be clear and strong, but still sexy enough. help!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    You should call and talk to the manager about what is allowed. Some dancers specify the rules up front by quickly showing the customers where they are allowed to touch. Another thing you can do is sit near a security guard/bouncer so the customer doesn't attempt so much.
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    I just set boundaries as I go.

    I work at a touching/high contact club but a lot of the guys don't touch me at all (ironically the younger hotter ones!). Or they just rub my back or thighs which I don't really care about.

    If a guy asks me up front about touching, I'll scope him out and maybe add 10 or so bucks to the dance. Some guys I'll say no touching off the bat if I get a bad vibe. My manages are pretty cool about it, you have to have some contact but that doesn't mean you need to let the guy feel you up (and I NEVER let guys finger me and have never gotten in trouble for it).

    Also, more $$$$$ = more contact. if it's the fifth dance I'm a bit more leanant, that can sometimes work to get you more dances or a VIP.

    If a guy tried to touch me in a no area I just tell him we aren't allowed to do that and laugh it off. If he keeps trying to touch me I'll tell him he needs to stop NOW and if that doesn't work I've left a dance before.

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    tie the mofo up. i have these bottoms with very long side ties, and if a guy gets grabby and it maked me uncomfortable, then i tie him up with it. it's funny, and some guys think it's sexy. they ALWAYS have a story to take back to their friends. "DUDE THIS STRIPPER TIED ME UP" and then all his friends want dances.

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    Member jadaminneapolis's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    Not that I have experience, but I've heard that if a guy is touchy during a lapdance, you can hold his arms down to the arms of the chair, kind of dominatrix-like, and do so in a sexy way. It sounds like maybe you just need to find another club

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    Tell them that the better they are the better you will be. The further away they stay, the closer you get. and if you get a but she does that answer with a yes and I'm quality.

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    Quote Originally Posted by Surprise View Post
    tie the mofo up. i have these bottoms with very long side ties, and if a guy gets grabby and it maked me uncomfortable, then i tie him up with it. it's funny, and some guys think it's sexy. they ALWAYS have a story to take back to their friends. "DUDE THIS STRIPPER TIED ME UP" and then all his friends want dances.
    Wow, I love this idea. How exactly do you go about tying them up? Hands behind back? I'm assuming you aren't wearing the bottoms once they're tied up...right?

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    Veteran Member NREXM's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    I tell every guy that I dance for what is appropriate and what is not. I tell them directly that they can't touch my crotch (boobs I don't care about). It works for me and I've gotten very positive feedback from guys since many girls don't lay out the rules and leaves too much of a gray area.

    If a guy is trying to grab parts of me that I clearly have told him not to, I'll take his hand and place it somewhere else on my body and say "I really don't like this, but I like this" and usually place his hand on my ass. That way you get him off you and he still feels like he's "pleasing" you.

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    You set your boundaries by telling the guys they can't touch you there. Period. end of story. You can do it in a way that you are being tactful and not bitchy. As far as them kissing you, in South Fla. it's very common for dancer to let guys suck their nipples (whichII think is gross). Someone suggested many years ago on here to get peppermint foot spray and spray your tits with it. I do this and let me tell ya, it stops them dead in their tracks!
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    haha, a lot of girls must use the tying up strategy. I had one guy ask me before I gave him a dance "are you going to tie me up?" I figured he had some weird fantasy so I sort of played along with it and he told me "no, one of the strippers at another club tied me up and I didn't like it." I gave him a dance but def understood why the girl tied him up...

    Occasionally I'll get a guy who wants to suck on my nipples, which I don't like, but I usually put up with because at that point I don't want the guy to walk out and not pay for the dance and get charged for it, and is not like hes trying to finger me or bite me or something that the bouncers would throw him out for. I will NOT kiss guys on the mouth, that is so disgusting and creepy and honestly bothers me more than anything else...

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    Wow, I love this idea. How exactly do you go about tying them up? Hands behind back? I'm assuming you aren't wearing the bottoms once they're tied up...right?
    right. we wear thongs, but have to have our behinds covered while on the floor. so as soon as i start a dance i take them off.

    and yeah, most of the time i put their hands behind their back. sometimes their hands get tied over their head, but i don't like doing that cause sometimes they fidget while i'm trying to restrain them.

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    When guys would ask what they could touch I'd say "No pink parts!" or "You can touch anything but no milk and cookie!" I'd try to keep the mood light at first. If they got out of line I'd be stern and reinforce my rules. Sometimes I'd have to tell them that the better they behave, the better the dance. A few times I"ve just walked away of they got to out of hand.

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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    You set your boundaries by telling the guys they can't touch you there. Period. end of story. You can do it in a way that you are being tactful and not bitchy. As far as them kissing you, in South Fla. it's very common for dancer to let guys suck their nipples (whichII think is gross). Someone suggested many years ago on here to get peppermint foot spray and spray your tits with it. I do this and let me tell ya, it stops them dead in their tracks!
    Does this hurt your money? It seems like you would be able to smell it from far away lol...

    I have pierced nipples. I always tell guys i just got them pierced two weeks ago and i cant get them infected. This has been working for quite a while now .

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: touching club - how do i set boundaries?

    No it doesn't really smell foul, it smells minty. Plus there's smoking in Fla clubs so they all stink to the high heavens anyway!

    Yours is a good strat. too, only I have my reg. pink nipps. and I hate them being touched by smelly-ass budweiser faced losers. Too lazy to type and a little tipsy so I hope you can all translate. LOL
    XoXo Gia
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