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Thread: making it easier for my bf

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    Veteran Member M3wlove's Avatar
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    Default making it easier for my bf

    i start dancing soon. im practicing that newbie wobble-dance in my 7 inch heels

    so- my bf and i are pretty open with each other. when i first told him i was going to start stripping we discussed issues we'll encounter, such as my coming home late and perhaps having a decrease in our sex drives. i told him that if it ever gets to a point where it hurts that he should tell me.

    he understands that its a job but the idea of me naked on other peoples laps seems to sting at him. he's supportive but i wonder what i could do to be supportive too. do your partners have a way of dealing if they havent grown used to the idea?

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    God/dess Kylea2's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    Here's a few rules to live by if you dance while you have a partner in your life:

    1.) Don't talk to your partner about the customers or dance moves. Usually that will lead to jealousy.

    2.) ALWAYS shower before you crawl into bed so you don't smell like the club and the customers.

    3.) Set boundaries about calling. Tell him not to call you at the club unless it's an emergency... otherwise you will waste time on the phone. Call him once you are off work and heading home.


    Chances are that your sex drive will actually increase, but in an unusual way. You will start feeling better about yourself, but at the same time you'll want to be with him and you will probably want your sexual encounters to be more emotional/powerful.
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    Veteran Member Sinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    Kyleah2 is right. ITs very easy for a man to get jealous in the relationship when he hears *anything* about the club. They tend to forget that you are there giving a performance to make money, and that you are not there to socialise or meet someone new. Let him know that you appreciate his trust and *dont* tell him that sex drive will go down. Now he's most likely worried that you're seeking pleasure somewhere else [even if youre not] tell him instead that your time with you is priority and very special to you, and that you want to dance because it makes you happy. He is to worship you for the goddess you are and he is very lucky to have such a sensual partner..

    good luck with this. its a delicate situation.


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    Member jadaminneapolis's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    I know, my boyfriend travels a lot for work and the idea of me becoming a dancer freaks him out! He doesn't care that I'll be naked or anything and actually likes the idea of me making money this way, but he worries I'll fall in love with some guy from the club. Has anyone had experiences where their guys are worried at first but get used to it after time? Thanks!

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    My hubby is the jealous type, but he deals with it ok. We don't really talk about what I do or say. The only instances I relay to him are funny ones-positive ones may make him jealous, and bad ones may make him mad.
    I always shower when I get home. This is sooo important-gets the germs and smells off. And make your time with him meaningful, so he has no reason to think you will stray or leave him.
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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    Seriously, tell him only the things that piss you off or were really hilarious. If you come in all breathless and joyful after work all the time its going to hurt him a lot. I used to be like "Oh I made a ton on stage, it was great" or "This guy paid me just to talk to him forever!" and there's really no point in sharing this stuff with him, it's not like a promotion or recommendation at a regular job where you could BOTH enjoy or celebrate your good fortune.

    I mean, don't complain so much that he thinks your crazy for staying somewhere you hate, but complain just enough to make him feel special and like he's 100X better than anything there. When you have great nights just say "It was OK, nothing special". You can text him about how slow and boring things are too but don't lie constantly ya know?

    Relate to him stories about how you turned down someone who was rude to you or tried to touch you. Do your best to convince him that your dances are retarded and super tame and everyone you dance for gets mad because other girls will do way more for them...

    This is coming from someone who has pretty much been broken up with several times for being a stripper. I was way too into the whole hustle, giving out my number, kissing guys sometimes, and it came back to bite me in the butt. I thought as long as I was making money things were all good but we had to come to a happy medium. I used to do all the stuff I mentioned above to make it easier on him but ultimately now I don't say ANYTHING, he doesn't ask me how much I made and he doesn't want to see me in false lashes or my wigs. I just keep it as low-key as possible. Like it's this place I sometimes I drop by and pick up some money. Which it sort of is....

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    Veteran Member M3wlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    aw thanks for the responses!

    i remember when i was first scoping clubs i wouldnt even talk about them, besides the location and the different managements attitudes. we're used to sharing everything, so i hope keeping silent about dancing becomes easier.

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: making it easier for my bf

    yeah just remember you can always tell us on stripper web if something really crazy/funny/wrong happened. But don't keep quiet about evrything! I've been assaulted before, rudely violated and dominated? And if that stuff affects you later don't bottle it all in, he might be willing to let you cry in his arms a little. But not as much as he would if you were a dancer before he met you. I imagine it's be hard for a guy to have a ton of sympathy for someone who went ahead and put herself in a bad situation ya know?

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