So I work one night a week at one club, and two other nights at my regular club.
Since I have been working at my regular club, I have sort of ignored a guy I wanted to talk to, sort of because I thought be "belonged" to one of the house girls that has been there for forever, and I didn't want to piss her off.
One night he showed up at the other club I work at, so I introduced myself, figuring this was alright territory. We got to talking and he bought me a drink and gave me $$$$ when I danced. He said he stayed away from me at my other club because he knew I would be dangerous for him.....and he winked and stuff, so I figured it was a line.
So for a little while we have been spending a lot of time together at my regular club, and he pays me big $$, and is really nice and we flirt and I am attracted to him.
I have about 3 regulars who have my #, just so I can let them know when or if I won't be in, or if I am working an extra night. I he took my cell # last week. He txted me saying he was thinking about me, and he had come by my work, but he was still very appropriate and really normal and nice so I didn't feel worried at all about it.
Sorry this is getting long....
So yesterday we met for sushi and then sort of made out in his truck. I have a boyfriend and he is married and I WAS IN HELL about it before, during and after, but I just was like, out of my mind at the time I guess!
Anyway, he wanted to meet up for sex (not for pay, just cause we are clearly soooo attracted to each other. At first I said yes, but then I like, snapped back to normal and was like, what the hell!!??
So I txted him saying I couldn't do it, that I thought I could, and that I wanted to, but it isn't something I am comfortable with. I told him I have so much fun with him at the club, and I like him as a person and I was sorry - I didn't mean to lead him on.
So he called and sounded sorta sad and that he understood and that "the club wasn't enough for him" anymore.
I almost feel like I went through a breakup! I am so upset about it! I am proud that I learned and kept my boundaries, even though I totally tested them..but I am just sad that I have lost my favorite regular I think...cause I don't feel I can act the same way at the club to him as I have in the past.
What do I do?? Maybe just how do I feel better and stop feeling that part of my fun has been wrecked?
HELP!!



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