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Thread: do you "dumb" yourself down?

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    Default do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I go to a major/competitive university and I'm fairly intelligent, intellectual and cultured.

    I find some guys like it and other guys are really turned off by it. I try to keep my personal information secret but my identity is being intelligent and academically successful... but I feel like my intelligence is costing me money. Guys seem to get intimidated by me and turned off at times and I get told one or twice a night “you’re too smart or this” “you don’t belong here” or blah blah.

    Do you finding acting “dumber” makes your more $?

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    loads of inelligent girls make excellent money without trying to make themselves seem thick, my friend has just finished her masters at the University of London, anoher studied at Cambridge and they both make excellent money, if your clever you will be able to make money, I've never seen a stupid stripper rake it in every night!

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I have had the same experience, I am a nurse but you wouldn't have any idea. I play a "ditzy" girl and I talk in a ditzy voice. The reality a lot of men are threatened by attractive/intelligent women. So I just dumb down and play down my intelligence. I'm not a genius but if you are "well spoken" a lot guys will say "your too smart to be here" etc.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I found the best way to get a sit down with anyone over 45 ish was not to dumb it down at all. They LOVED a decent conversation.
    A civilian spends money to look good
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Well... the answer is a bit nuanced. So stay with me for a moment. For those of us who are highly educated and unusually intellectual and articulate even among the general population, I think there's balance we can maintain in the club. Speaking from personal experience, I have found that it IS a huge benefit to act smart and cultured. Why? It distinguishes you, shows you're special, and ultimately commands a higher dollar value because is makes you unusual, and thus rare. It also attracts and HOLDS the attention of those customers of similar intellect and culture sensibilities who usually have more money to spend in the club than the average limited buyer. Being able to relate to high spending customers obviously translates into better odds of getting VIPs, or simply getting paid by the hour to sit and talk.

    That being said, it is also important to remember that customers come in to relax and enjoy the entertainment, not to engage in intense intellectual discourse. So being smart helps to a point and then, like anything, results in decreasing marginal benefits past that point. In simple terms, being too intellectual is intimidating and can be mistaken for stuffiness and snootiness. This could likely cost you a sale. The key is balance. Approachable and witty is sexy. Obtuse and eggheaded is not.

    So in trying to figure out how "smart" you want your hustle to be, ask yourself a couple things: what is the average caliber of the guys who like it? what sort of guys are turned off by it? of what kind of clientele is your club mostly made up? For instance, if your club attracts primarily blue-collar patrons, it may work against you to tell a customer how you were high school valedictorian, played tennis at the country club since the age of 3, summer in the Hamptons and are majoring in both Mathematics and Physics because you love both so much and, gosh, just can't decide on one or the other! That's an exaggeration of course, but you understand. That would be very intimidating for some customers, and might even make some of them feel bad about themselves! We want to make the customer comfortable.

    An anecdote to illustrate: I am majoring in both Economics and Math. Somehow I thought this was a good thing to be honest about when I began dancing last August. Regardless of the club, mentioning the word 'economics' ever is a total buzzkill. I guarantee you it launched the customer into logical mode and start them thinking about the economy. Of course, thinking about the economy leads to... "God, I can't afford to be here." Which inevitably leads to a "No" when I ask for a dance. Just mentioning my major probably cost me a lot of money. I now tell people I study Psychology which receives a MUCH warmer response. It's down-to-earth, and sometimes opens the door for jokes ("Oh you're trying to fuck with my head, aren't you?"). Yes, I "dumbed" myself down a little, but I don't have to act any less intelligent and cultured. I simply made myself more approachable and marketable.

    Lastly, a lady on SW named PrincessParis has a blog on Blogspot called TheEnlightenedStripper. In one entry, she discusses this very issue, and explains how being too smart can cost you a sale. Taking a look at what she has to say might also help you.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I dumb myself down if I can tell that's what the customer wants. Basically, I use my personality traits like a deck of cards, and I play the cards that will get me the most money. That's going to differ with each customer.


    Intelligence comes from knowing your audience, anticipating their needs, and then giving them what they want.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Unfortunately I do dumb myself down sometimes. It's a very tough pills for me to swallow because I'm proud of my academic acheivemment and would nver do this in real life.

    But I did work at a blue collar club for a long time and not only did it offend the customers, the felt that they didn't need to give me money because I had my shit together. Then another time I was talking to a gf in the dressing room and was talking shit about someone (can't remember who but prolly a customer) and I said "my gosh! They have the mentality of a fifteen year old drop out" which offended a few of the girls as well (apparently a lot of the girls here were h.s. drop outs) Whoops!

    A few weeks ago another dancer and a customer and I were all talking (this is a more upscale club and this particular customer went to major U and has a good job), the topic was travel, specifically to the Caribbean. Then we were talking about life on one of these islands where the people are notoriusly poor and yet the manage to have a good school system- so I get all riled up about how failed and flawed the education system is here and am going on and on... the other dancer kicked me under the table because I was being "too serious/ political" and she was actually right.

    I guess I forgot where we were, these guys come in for fun and entertainment and not to here some stripper on here high horse. A couple double dances brought everyone right back to happy!!!
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    I dumb myself down if I can tell that's what the customer wants. Basically, I use my personality traits like a deck of cards, and I play the cards that will get me the most money. That's going to differ with each customer.


    Intelligence comes from knowing your audience, anticipating their needs, and then giving them what they want.

    ^^^^

    thats not intelligence - thats good sales techniques!

    alot of jobs that need inteligence don't need sales - e.g. jobs in the medical sector - a doctor wouldn't need to use sales but would need to be intelligent.

    if you are inelliegent you would be able to find the right customer and persuade him to part with his money without dumbing yourself down!

    i suppose it might feel good thinking your too clever and cultured to sell lapdances and VIPs but that is highly unlikely!
    Last edited by cashing in; 06-26-2009 at 11:18 AM.

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    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by cashing in View Post
    ^^^^

    thats not intelligence - thats good sales techniques!
    haha, yeah--that's true--I should've said "stripper intelligence" or something like that.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    it depends on what the customer wants. if they want a dumb bubbly girl then i'll do that. if they want a normal (i wouldnt go as far as to say intelligent) girl then i will not dumb myself down. i just kinda act more lke myself. i have found that the majority of the clientele at my particular club does seem to get offended/ threatened by any kind of academic discussion so i tend to avoid bringing up my education or any past school related stuff.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Depends on the guy. My over 40 crowd tends to love the fact that Im in school and that I can use multi-syllable words and hold my own in a conversation. They really do appreciate it and are much more likely to spend the kind of money Im looking for on me.

    It's the young guys I tend to dumb myself down for. They get intimidated easily and Im not always interested in scaring them off, especially if they're the dominant market ITC on any given night.

    It all depends on my read on the guy. I know pretty quickly which act to pull. Sometimes it's enough to just watch him interact with his friends.
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I just want to say that I love how intelligent the ladies in these forums are. If only customers had any idea...

    One of my first nights at my club, a long-time stripper said to me, "Don't let them know how smart you are." But I have a problem with that. Perhaps it's my pride, but if someone starts acting like they are better/smarter than me, I will make sure they know otherwise and risk possibly getting a dance. This is obviously not recommended -- although some guys do like the whole "dominant female" idea -- but I just refuse to play dumb in any arena of my life. I'm still new to dancing, so hopefully I'll be able to separate my "two selves" and play my personality traits like a deck of cards, as WingedDinghy says -- but for now, I can't do it. And a lot of customers enjoy the fact that I have a degree and am a published editor/journalist. I just seek those customers out more, and I tend to get more dances from people I form a connection with anyway.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    It's worked with some customers-- I'm a writer and if I get someone who likes theatre, film or literature I almost always bank because I can keep up with them and hold their interest. But last night I worked a club with a more blue collar crowd and everytime I talk to guys I could feel them getting turned off.

    Part of my problem is that guys always ask me so many questions about myself. I try to turn it back on them since guys can talk about themselves for hours and never get bored, but sometimes all they want to do is ask me questions about my life and it's hard to keep my story straight if its a lie and easier to just tell the truth...

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    I dumb myself down if I can tell that's what the customer wants. Basically, I use my personality traits like a deck of cards, and I play the cards that will get me the most money. That's going to differ with each customer.


    Intelligence comes from knowing your audience, anticipating their needs, and then giving them what they want.
    This is xactly the answer i would have given had I gotten here first
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winged Dinghy View Post
    I dumb myself down if I can tell that's what the customer wants. Basically, I use my personality traits like a deck of cards, and I play the cards that will get me the most money. That's going to differ with each customer.


    Intelligence comes from knowing your audience, anticipating their needs, and then giving them what they want.
    I don't think anyone could have explained it better. I remember a lady on here discussing how much better it is "multidimensional stripper". Much more challenging, but certainly more rewarding.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I wouldn't exactly say that I dumb myself down, but I would say that the more customers that are in the club the more physical my flirting for dances gets. I can snag dances really quick on a busy night just by being up in the customer's face, and doing lots of cute little poses when I walk by before I hit them up for dances.
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    it depends on the guy. Younger guys, I don't care about sounding smart for. Older guys are a bit more complex. Blue collar types, no details. Educated, successful white collars? I play that shit UP, mentioning how I dance because I love it and it's fantastic that I don't have any school debt.

    I used to really dumb it down, and since I started being more myself instead of So Cal Barbie, I've found I'm making more money.

    And I hate to say it, but I'm actually not in school.... I want to be, but right now I'm lacking ambition so I'm holding off until I really find my academic calling.

    My boyfriend is older, and I actually met him in a club. He's always stuck to the viewpoint that he doesn't want a career dancer, he wants someone that is working towards something. (his opinion, not mine!) He doesn't want someone that is ditzy and seems fake. He also says that when a man goes into the club, it's like his disneyland..... he doesn't want to hear about any problems, he doesn't care if you lie to him, he just wants to have a happy hot chick falling in lust with him.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I'm legitimately dumb and I make good money but I feel that I'd be making more if I was intelligent. It would be especially important if you want to attract regulars. I have no regulars which is unstable. I don't have the ability to maintain customer relationships because I can't talk to people and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. It may pay off in the present to dumb yourself down but I guarantee that you can earn your full potential by putting intelligent thought into your work.

    If you're smart, I'd imagine you'd figure out a way to maintain your intellectual abilities without overpowering customers. What I've found is that most guys are looking for a girl that is sexually interested in them, not intellectually. Flirting is not a way of downplaying your good qualities.

    Be thankful that you can truthfully speak of your achievements. Guys always ask me if I've gone to college (or am attending college) and it puts me in such an uncomfortable position because I'm simply too dumb for academic success.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    ^^ you are not dumb! you're very insightful, clearly..... You might not be the book smart type, but I'm sure you have street smarts. There's different types of intelligence, m'dear.

    I feel ya on the no custies and not being able to talk to people thing. That just means we don't have the right knowledge for that, and when I find a good book that lets me know how to fix it, i'll let you know k?

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I used to dumb myself down, but not so much anymore. Maybe I should do it more often...hrmm. Many of the girls that I work with seem intelligent and many of the intelligent ones seem to do well. However, I do know what you're talking about when guys are intimidated. You just have to figure out what type of guy wants what type of personality.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by NREXM View Post
    I'm legitimately dumb and I make good money but I feel that I'd be making more if I was intelligent. It would be especially important if you want to attract regulars. I have no regulars which is unstable. I don't have the ability to maintain customer relationships because I can't talk to people and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. It may pay off in the present to dumb yourself down but I guarantee that you can earn your full potential by putting intelligent thought into your work.

    If you're smart, I'd imagine you'd figure out a way to maintain your intellectual abilities without overpowering customers. What I've found is that most guys are looking for a girl that is sexually interested in them, not intellectually. Flirting is not a way of downplaying your good qualities.

    Be thankful that you can truthfully speak of your achievements. Guys always ask me if I've gone to college (or am attending college) and it puts me in such an uncomfortable position because I'm simply too dumb for academic success.
    The only dumb thing here is calling yourself dumb! You sound very intelligent to me. I have an honours degree and was on scholarship and Dean's Honours List every year and trust me, half the people who graduated with me couldn't have written something as well as you just did.

    I have to agree with the sexual interest comment. I do dumb myself down with Blue Collar guys - I've tried both and this is the only way that works for me. As for those white collars, intelligence all the way. However, in all situations you must portray a sexual being. These intelligent gentleman are likely married to a smart woman. The reason they are in the club is not to meet another smart woman. They want something their partners can't or won't give them. A sexually enlightened woman! Dirty talk works with all customers in my experience, sometimes you just wait a little longer to break it out.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by NREXM View Post
    I'm legitimately dumb and I make good money but I feel that I'd be making more if I was intelligent.
    Are you serious? What you wrote was so eloquently written that you can't possibly be anything close to "dumb". You write better than 95% of my friends with degrees.

    When I first started stripping I just chatted to guys on a normal level and then often after a while they said I was too intelligent to be here, blah blah blah, and went and bought a dance from some other girl. Then I discovered flirting with them (duh) and I think with that I dumbed myself down.

    I find it hard, when you're talking about some random "intelligent" subject, to then steer the conversation round to a lapdance. I think a lot of the guys who want to talk to you about "intelligent" stuff are doing it so that you'll be distracted from hustling them. If I'm flirting I'm one step closer to closing my sale, right? Only if I've got them into the VIP or I think they are really into clever girls would I reveal that I have more brains.

    My ex boyfriend once told me he would never date a girl cleverer than him. Why didn't I dump him then??? I dread to think how many other guys think like this.

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    most of the time, unless i get into a good conversation with a custie. but usually i have the mentality of a 17 year old girl who doesnt speak english that well. they like it better, and i can just go on robot mode and not talk much besides the occasional giggle and like omg!

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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    I just try not to make them feel dumb so I have to edit myself when I know they're talking out thier ass or if I could write a damn thesis on the subject, so yes in that way I dumb myself down. I also dumb myself down in such a way that they know I could not possibly be that stupid. Like they'll ask if I live by myself and I really over exaggerate it like "Noooooo, (proudly with a stupid smile and wide eyed) I have a cat." I use this as an excuse to use really cheesy lines like that. Then after they I get them laughing and I can't help but laugh at myself, I'm like "Let me stop" and drag them back for a dance. My friend that's a brunette works with me and plays along with it too.

    I do pull out dirty statistics, even sometimes fake. I'll say something like 32% of women really like anal sex, but most are afraid to admit it", if the guy looks interested in smart girls. I totally made that up, but it brings the conversation around to body parts as well as making me seem smart.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: do you "dumb" yourself down?

    Quote Originally Posted by cashing in View Post
    ^^^^

    thats not intelligence - thats good sales techniques!

    alot of jobs that need inteligence don't need sales - e.g. jobs in the medical sector - a doctor wouldn't need to use sales but would need to be intelligent.

    if you are inelliegent you would be able to find the right customer and persuade him to part with his money without dumbing yourself down!

    i suppose it might feel good thinking your too clever and cultured to sell lapdances and VIPs but that is highly unlikely!
    She probably meant "wisdom", ie using your knowledge effectively. I don't think she's trying to claim she's too clever for anything. Why did you assume that?

    I tried the dumbing down thing with one customer last night, and it TOTALLY worked. This was a customer that I could tell would be threatened/turned off by anything besides "WOW, you're SO NICE! And SWEET!" *admiring look*. So I bit the bullet and played the part, and made 100 off of him (on $10 dance night). While it was mentally exhausting, I knew what I was doing.

    I used to look down on doing this, but now I think I'm professional enough to be able to do it for 30-60 min/shift and not be annoyed as fuck. Honestly, it was pretty funny to act that way and watch the guy's reaction.

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